Out With The Old
by ChapstickLez
Summary: Gail Peck is not "just" a Peck, but getting to reinvent yourself beyond your family when you've been born into the Peck Dynasty is not a simple nor easy journey. Gail probably wouldn't have bothered to change, but then there was Holly. It's messy, it's complicated, but sometimes you come out the end a better person, snark intact. (Usually updated biweekly - Golly/Plus One forever)
1. Let's See Some ID

DISCLAIMER: _Rookie Blue_ belongs to Global TV, ABC, and all of those people.

This is a multi-story arc, with each 'part' being around 100 pages. It's got four parts for certain, and possibilities for more, depending on how things go and how you all like the story. I'm a Gail/Holly OTP, and I believe in happy endings. I also love drama. I started writing this for personal 'therapy' and it morphed from a simple 'day in the life' story with no plot, into a plan for how I'd like to see things go, with a background crime to get Gail there. Some plot points will be glossed over if they're in the show, others will be seen from a new perspective, and much will be all new.

* * *

**Part One: No Going Back**

Author's Note: We're starting in season four, **after** Gail and Holly have met, but before the wedding. If you're reading this on a device that doesn't allow for italics, this will suck.

* * *

Pulling her boots on, Holly glanced over at the police. The platinum blonde head stood out, but she didn't see it here today. Instead there was a man with brown hair, about Gail's age, and Detective Swarek. "Gentlemen," she smiled, absently, crossing into the crime scene.

"S'cuse me, ma'am, I need your ID." The uniformed officer held his hand up in front of her. He looked like a gentle puppy dog, how cute.

"Jesus, Diaz, that's Dr. Stewart from the lab," growled Swarek. Diaz startled and let her pass.

Shaking her head, Holly looked at Swarek, "That's two of your officers now, Detective."

Swarek smirked. "Sorry about Peck. She's a handful on a good day, and she doesn't have a lot of those." There was a weird look from Diaz at that, but he turned it into a frown.

"Actually, I like her macabre humor," mused Holly, squatting to look at the body on the asphalt. His head was taped into a plastic bag, but there was no vomit, making suicide unlikely. She gently moved one arm and blinked. "Stabbed with a scalpel. That's new." She sniffed and glanced at the dumpster, wheeled only a foot away before looking up at Swarek.

The detective caught her look and nodded. "Garbage men found him this morning. Badda boom, dead guy underneath."

With her assistants, Holly made sure the evidence was collected and got ready to head back to the lab, when her phone beeped. "I got this," assured Rodney, and Holly thanked him before pulling off her gloves.

_Stupid question, but have you seen The Karate Kid?_

Holly eyed the number a few times. It was local, but that hardly meant anything these days.

_Who is this?_

For a month, she'd been the recipient of texts from a young man in Barry, whose girlfriend's number was one off of hers. The boy had been sweet, but the sexting was gross.

_Officer Peck_.

Bubbling a laugh, Holly popped her trunk to changed her boots.

_I won't ask how you got my number._

_Exactly how you're thinking. Karate? Yes no?_

_Yes, all five of them._

_There are FIVE?_

Holly started to tap out a lengthy answer, explaining the four 'original' movies, though many people doubted the canonicity of the one with Hilary Swank, as well as the new one... Then she deleted it all and kept it short.

_Why are you asking?_

There was a lengthy delay before Gail's reply.

_I need to be out of my apartment, and there's a showing tonight at this retro place._

Holly arched her eyebrows.

_Which movie? Jaden Smith or Ralph Macchio?_

_Does it matter?_

_Yes._

Buckling in, Holly started the car and drove back to the lab. The phone did not beep again until she, and the body, were there.

_Ralph._

Holly toyed with the answer. She'd seen Gail around before, and found the woman insanely attractive. When Gail had shown up in her lab, being with her had felt so natural, it was like finding the perfect friend you'd always wanted. Except Holly also had a knee-jerk reaction to get in her pants, and Gail was straight. Yes or no? Lisa kept telling her to try new things.

_Sure. What time?_

Gail replied with time and location, and that was that.

* * *

"How hard is it to break up with women?" Gail knew she was slightly tipsy, but it was so nice to hide in the back of a closet with Holly right now and avoid the wedding. The humor of the fact that she was in a closet with a lesbian was not lost on her.

Holly sipped from the bottle. She'd forgone glasses a while ago, though Gail kept hers. "Why? You want to help me break up with someone?"

"One, you're single. Two, I was thinking about my ex." Nick was with Andy tonight, working, which meant she didn't have to _see_ them. "He was in love with someone else, so I cheated on him to make me feel better and him mad and give him an out so we could break up."

"Wow. That is ... Epically passive aggressive."

Gail frowned and reached for the champagne. "Shut up. He was in love with someone else."

"It's something a sixteen year-old would think was a good idea!" Holly was laughing.

"Never mind." Gail downed a drink and sighed. "Why _are_ you single?"

That stopped the laughing, and Holly winced. "I date the wrong people. And coming home smelling like death is a turn off."

The smell hadn't bothered Gail, but her opinion didn't matter there. "Yeah, that's kind of why I've always dated cops."

"Does it help?"

"Nope!" They both giggled.

Holly took the champagne back and sipped. "Why do you hate weddings?"

"No, I told you about my ex and how we broke up. You have to tell me how you break up with a woman."

The bottle was handed back without prompting. "I've never done it myself," admitted Holly. "And a lot of, ah, relationships just fizzled. Or they're experimenting…" Holly filled up Gail's glass and then drank from the bottle. "Serious ones, though. First girlfriend moved to Vancouver, second one dumped me for a mutual friend. That hurt. Third one … She said it had all been a mistake."

So Holly had dated a straight chick, and possibly more than one. That had to be rough. She sighed and threw Holly a bone. "I hate weddings because I got dumped at the altar."

Blinking, Holly refilled Gail's glass again, "Well okay then. That wins."

"Gets better. He ran off and joined the military. Then he came back, joined the force and got posted to my division. He's dating a … friend of mine right now, and we all work together."

"Is he _here_?" Holly sounded incredulous.

"No, they're working. Together. Dov had 'em on the phone." She sipped the champagne.

Holly looked confused, perhaps trying to sort out Gail's ex with the guy who dumped her at the altar. It was confusing to Gail, and she'd lived through it. "Okay," said Holly at length.

They were too serious. So Gail tried to ask some stupid questions to make Holly laugh. "What's it like, getting dressed?" Instead, it ended with laughter (good!) and Holly kissing her (what!?), calling her insane (huh?), and leaving with the bottle to go dancing.

Gail stared after Holly for a while. "What the hell just happened?" she asked herself. Holly kissed her. It was a light kiss, barely a kiss. Just lips touching. But holy crap it was so nice. It wasn't a maternal kiss, what little Gail knew about those. It was a kiss that implied there should be more kissing. And Gail had wanted to kiss her back.

She was still sitting there, processing, when Traci walked in. "You okay, Gail?"

"I ... Have no idea."

* * *

Halfway to the club, Holly pulled into a Starbucks parking lot and yanked her phone out of her purse. When she saw the three texts were from her friend Rachel, she felt a rush of relief coupled with annoyance. Why wasn't Gail texting her?

_Where are you, Dr. Death?_

Holly sighed and replied.

_I think I'm just going home._

_Danger! Danger! Holly has done stupid things! Lisa wants to know what her name is._

Groaning, Holly remembered how hard this was with her friends sometimes. They knew her too well. Any time she blew them off this late, it was because of stupid things with dates.

_Gail_

Hitting send, Holly ran her thumb over the edge of her phone and sighed again. Damn it, this was really, really, phenomenally stupid. Why did she have to kiss her?

_Lisa wants to know if she's hot. She's hot, right?_

They sucked. Holly pondered not answering, but knew Rachel would just start calling her.

_Yes, she's blonde and fit and totally hot in a dress._

_Does she have short hair? If she has short hair, she'd be your thing._

The problem was she was already Holly's 'thing.'

_She's straight._

Best to get to the meat of the problem, after all.

_Ouch! You fell for a straight girl? What is this, the bajillionth time?_

_Both of you shut it._

_You're only saying that because you totally have the hots for a straight chick. Again. Lisa says that's not stupid._

Holly hesitated. She could tell her friends now, or she could tell them later.

_I kissed her._

_WHAT? When?_

_Now. Like half an hour ago. In the coat closet._

_Spill or I call you._

_K, hang on._

Taking a deep breath, Holly tapped out the edited version of the night.

_She needed an emergency plus one to a fancy party. We were dancing like friends and having fun. Then we stole a bottle of champagne and were talking in the back of the coat closet, and I wanted to kiss her. So I did and then I left._

There was no reply for a while, leaving Holly to remember the days before phones. Sadly it also gave her time to think about kissing Gail. It was brief, and while she hadn't exactly kissed back, she hadn't dodged away. And god her lips were soft.

_Did she say ew?_

That had to be Rachel.

_No_

_Did she kiss you back?_

_Not really_

_Did she pull away?_

_No_

_Are you *sure* she's straight?_

_No..._

Truth told, Gail could be bi, but the implication was that she was hetero as they come. She was done with men, after a pretty disastrous failed engagement, and now having to work with her ex. Holly could understand that one.

_Come dance with us. Either she's going to freak out and never talk to you again or she won't._

That was marvelously deep. Holly sighed and replied with the letter K and drove to the club. Her friends were right. It was a little too late to get terrified about it now. She'd done it, and what would be would be. Holly made a face at herself. Quoting "Que Sera, Sera" was never the best start to an evening. Dancing was a better idea.

* * *

Letting Oliver drive was peaceful. He didn't try to talk about stuff, most of the time, but when he did, he had a reason and Gail didn't _really_ mind. She'd known him for too long to actually care, and even though he treated her like every other rookie, she knew she was his favorite. That's why she listened when he finally spoke up.

"You have been weird since the wedding," Oliver said firmly. "I just figured it out."

"Slow, ain't ya? Good thing you're not a detective, Ollie."

"Hey, on the job, it's Officer Shaw, sir," he snapped, without any malice.

"No, I'm a woman, and I'm Officer Peck."

"Yes, ma'am." He laughed cheerfully. "What's with the deep thoughts? Did you hook up with someone?"

Gail glared at Oliver, "Ew. No." He smirked and she sighed. "I think I'm done dating men, they suck." She paused, "Present company excluded."

Nodding, Oliver stopped at the light. "Good. I know you guys always date in-house early on, since you're all you see, but ... That's no good." He checked the street and drove on, "See, you think that because you're a cop, and he's a cop, you should be fine. You know what to expect, who to expect it with, what it's all going to be like, and it's easy to deal with the crazy stuff like shootings and bruises." Oliver glanced at her carefully. "But you picked idiots."

"Wow," grumbled Gail.

"I mean the guys you date. Chris, Nick... Nice guys. Good looking. Not good for Gail."

Gail sighed, "Oliver, please stop."

"No, no no. See, you dated pretty cops thinking it could be fun and casual, but they don't see _Gail Peck_. Maybe they see part of you, but you can't be anyone but who you are, and they can't take it. You need someone who gets the whole package."

"Oliver," she said warningly. "Do not make me show you the trick Noelle taught me with a baton."

Oliver smiled. "Okay! Okay. I'm done."

They rode in silence, Gail watching the street. She kept thinking about Holly, and it was distracting. The woman was funny, smart, and sexy, which was fine, but Gail was straight and you're not supposed to think like that about your friends. Or because you're straight.

By the time lunch rolled around, they got massive burritos and sat on the hood of the car by a park, Gail felt like she could talk to Oliver. It was Oliver, after all.

"My mother thinks I'm going to be a spinster."

"Your mother also thought I was the universe's worst rookie." That was news to Gail, who had only met Oliver when he was well past rookie stage. "I may have driven a car over those tire rippers? I was chasing a perp." He shrugged, highly amused.

Gail filed that away for later. "Your point?"

"My point... Is your mother is not infallible."

Huh. "She's setting me up in blind dates."

Oliver glanced at her, wincing sympathetically. "I wish I had a son your age. Then I'd set you up, and-"

"God, shut up." She shoved Oliver's shoulder, laughing. "You have Izzy, and she is over ten years young than I am." Oliver made a sour face, which Gail read as 'trouble with the ex' and sighed. "Anyway, the dates are okay. Boring."

On the other hand, going out with Holly hadn't been boring. She was _fun_ and strange, and babbled occasionally. And she'd kissed Gail.

Oliver did not reply, and instead was staring down the street like a hunting dog. Sitting up, Gail followed his gaze. "No fucking way," she whispered.

"Bobby Zanaro." Oliver's voice was tight, excited. "It's him, right? Two Lakes? Issac Lapointe's right hand man?"

One of the drug czar's lieutenants, Bobby looked more seedy than Gail had ever seen. Four weeks ago, he'd been bumped to the top of the list to pick up and question, following the death of a high schooler on some of the drugs known to be sold by his crew. But Bobby was normally well dressed. Now he looked like he'd been sleeping in his suit.

Having worked with Oliver for so long, Gail had no second thoughts about what to do. She slid off the cruiser and started walking around the likely escape path. Meanwhile, Oliver waited until Bobby was near and called out to him, "Heeeeyyy Bobby!"

As expected, Bobby spun, stared at Oliver, and then turned to run right into the waiting Gail, who used his own momentum to spin him around and plant his face on the grass. Days like this, she loved her job more than anything.

* * *

The text message was amusing, if confusing.

_I'm on a date. Please tell me there's a dead body somewhere._

Gail hadn't ignored her since the wedding, which made Holly feel more confused. They'd bumped into each other at two crime scenes, as well as a coffee run that Holly may have planned, overhearing that 'Pecks' were getting coffee down the street. She'd been surprised to see two men, both with Peck on their shirts, and Gail getting donuts.

That led to Holly checking out just exactly who Gail Peck was, and it floored her. The Staff Superintendent's only daughter, Gail was actually well known to most cops because of her name. She also had a couple strange commendations on her name, including helping catch two serial killers. There were easy stats to find out (constable fourth rank, posted to 15, suspended once), and there were ones you had to infer (fears of a promotion due to her mother's name, something Holly hadn't really understood before when Gail mentioned it in passing).

And it all led to a horrible feeling of having a crush on a straight cop, who was related to more cops, and was the daughter of a super important cop. Well done, Holly. This was looking about as dumb as anything else in her life. No, it was definitely more stupid than the time she'd been what's-her-face's experiment. Go ahead and have a major crush on an unattainable beauty, whose parents could bury you if they wanted.

_Alas, I have no dead body today._

Humming 'We have no bananas' to herself, Holly went back to her novel.

_If I kill this guy, will you be my alibi?_

Gail must be really bored.

_No, I don't think so._

_I hate you. Plus ones forever didn't last long._

_Oh you need a rescue?_

_You're slow. How do you ever pick up chicks?_

Grinning, Holly put the book down.

_I've never rescued a damsel in distress before._

Gail replied with an address and one word. Please.

"Jesus, Holly, what the hell are you doing?" But Holly got up and went for her keys. She found the restaurant easily, and spotted Gail's blonde head through the window, sitting with a dull looking guy. The woman looked bored and homicidal, which was a cute mix. Now what? Holly hesitated and walked inside, right up to Gail's table. "Hey," she grinned brightly.

Gail turned towards her, surprised (or acting surprised...) and Holly watched it shift from bored to bright and happy. Her stomach flipped. "Holly, hi." Gail paused a moment and looked perplexed. "Why are you... Oh god, did I forget? Is that today?"

For a split second Holly was lost and confused. What the hell was Gail on about? The slight widening in Gail's eyes dropped the clue. Oh! They were faking it. "What- yes! Yes you did, and, um..." Holly quested for a name and failed. "What's her face said you came here and... Well, how could you forget?"

Unlike Holly, Gail lied like a damn boss. She even managed to look sincere. "I am _so_ sorry, I thought that was next week. Neil, I'm sorry, but I promised Holly and... This was fun."

The man, who looked incredibly dull, nodded. "Sure, sure, I totally understand! We can do this another time."

"No," replied Gail. "You're nice, but you know I'm busy with work, and this thing with Holly and, yeah, I don't think this would work out." Gail fished a bill out of her purse, "Thanks, though!"

Like lightning, Gail had Holly's arm in a hold that propelled her out the door. "Neil?" Holly was trying not to giggle.

"Hush, you're a terrible liar! That was your plan?" Gail got outside and turned to the parking lot. "Which car?"

"This one," giggled Holly, and Gail quickly walked over. "I didn't have a plan!"

"That was obvious, nerd!" For a second, Holly was angry, but in the flash of streetlight, she saw Gail's wicked smile.

"See if I rescue you again," huffed Holly, and they got in the car. "Now what?"

"Take me somewhere with alcohol. I'll buy."

They ended up in a small restaurant, not too far from where Gail said she lived, sharing a bottle of Prosecco and some insanely amazing Italian food. Gail explained the blind date situation and how Neil was a poet. After reciting one poem, Holly understood everything, except how Gail had memorized it. The blonde shrugged and said 'Peck,' as if that explained everything.

The food needed no explanation. "This is amazing," sighed Holly, swallowing another bite of her shrimp and pasta. "Do you want some?"

Gail leaned over and shook her head. "Can't." She had a creamy prosciutto concoction that looked deadly and delicious. "But if you want to try...?" She gestured at her plate.

Holly looked at her fork. "How allergic to shrimp are you?"

"I'm not," Gail said absently, but held over her salad fork. "I'm allergic to tomatoes."

Taking the fork, Holly ate the offering and melted a little. "Oh my god... That is mind blowing!"

Smirking, Gail continued to eat. "Listen," she grinned between bites. "Thanks for getting me out of that tree."

"Any time," grinned Holly. "Plus one forever!" They raised their glasses, clinked, and drank again. "You've got to stop going on those dates, though. I mean, really, they've all sounded awful."

Eyes were rolled. "I have another one on Thursday. I think I'm going to switch shifts on accident."

"Ooooorrr stop the dates?"

Gail sighed and poked at her pasta. "My mother," she explained. "She has decided I can't live my life as a spinster, and as I cannot bestir myself to my own future professionally, she will take charge of personally."

That sounded horrible. "Bestir? That's a quote, I take it."

"I can give you chapter and verse," Gail replied, morosely.

"No thanks." Holly contemplated her own food and then blinked. "Hang on, we had pizza after the movie!"

Gail blinked. "Huh?"

"Tomatoes!"

"Oh! Just uncooked ones. Raw and grilled give me a rash. Mashed up and cooked like sauce or ketchup is usually okay." She pointed at Holly's dish, "Those are fresh. I remember the menu." She paused and added, "My brother and I love this place."

Mollified, Holly leant back in her seat. "That's a food _sensitivity_," she chastised.

"Potato, tomato," grinned Gail. "Can't eat 'em raw."

Now Holly rolled her eyes. "You're insane."

"You said that before."

There was a pause. Yes, Holly had said that before. After kissing Gail. She felt horrible awkward, and Gail just looked nonplussed. "I did," muttered Holly.

"You should try the blind date thing, Holly."

A thrill ran up Holly's spine, hearing Gail say her name, but was washed away when the words sank in. "Me?"

"You said you were trying new things. I mean, just because my experience is sub par may be unrelated to the general success of the method." Gail sipped her drink, "Just don't let my mother try it. I think I've seen the son of every possibly useful scion in the province by now."

Unwilling to delve into her current (two year) dry spell, Holly cleared her throat. "I thought she didn't want you to be a spinster."

"Hm," sighed Gail, skirting the topic. "Or maybe I should just take up something that would annoy her. Skydiving."

They spent the rest of the meal coming up with horrible, improbable ideas of new hobbies for Gail.

* * *

**_I suck at asking for/suggesting reviews, but I do love 'em, same as anyone else. I also have been known to answer burning questions and give spoilers to people who leave reviews._**


	2. No More Dates

**Author's Note: **I liked the idea of failed blind dates with Gail. Her mother wants her to get out of her rut, but things clearly don't go the way Elaine was thinking. Who would have seen Holly coming?

* * *

"We're going out," announced Dov, through the door to Gail's room. Gail didn't reply and just stretched out on her bed, letting her head dangle off. Someone knocked on the door, probably Dov.

"I heard you," she replied. Gail looked at the phone on her nightstand, trying to decide what to do. Traci was right on many levels. But every single date she'd been on had been an absolute disaster. So instead of going out again, she'd canceled with the new guy and texted someone who'd been on her mind for days. Like, every single day since Frank and Noelle's wedding.

Why the hell did Holly have to kiss her? She could have cheerfully gone on with denial that there was any sort of attraction there without it! But now the lesbian had brought up the damn elephant in the room, and Gail had to think about it. It didn't _feel_ like a chaste, sisterly, kiss. But then again, Gail didn't have sisters, she had Steve, and he was more inclined to noogie her than kiss her. They were also more than a few years apart.

Holly was older too, though not too much. Not that it bothered Gail at all. And the lesbian thing didn't bother her either. What bothered her was how she felt about the whole thing. That she was stuck thinking that the best person she'd found, in years. Someone who was a little anti-social, like she was, misanthropic, and who put up with her at her snarkiest. Hell, Holly even rescued her from horrible dates gone bad.

And so, instead of going on a date, she'd called Holly and asked what _she_ was doing. But it involved sports and Gail didn't do sports, so she'd never-minded. Now she was regretting the choice.

She was in serious danger of slipping up to one of the Peck Rules: Always know who you are.

There was the sound of shuffling outside her door. "I mean, I'm going out with Chloe and Chris is going in on a call. So … you know, out out." Dov sounded concerned. Ugh.

"And I heard you!" God they were so annoying. Gail pulled a pillow over and covered her face to muffle a growl.

The door opened. "Please be wearing clothes," Dov said, pleadingly.

"Hey! The deal was you don't come in!" She whipped the pillow at him.

Catching the pillow, Dov protested, "I'm not in!" He tossed it back. "I just… Y'know you could come with me and Chloe."

Gail gagged. "I'd rather drink drain cleaner."

Dov laughed, "Seriously, you gonna be okay?"

That was a deeper question than it had to be and Gail sighed. She couldn't really remember the last time she'd felt 'okay' all told. She'd pretty much hid from having to deal with her own drama and trauma by hooking up with Nick again when he came back from undercover, and he'd been a nice distraction. But. He was an ass too and was now having marathon sex with Andy, who didn't even have the balls to tell her about it. People sucked.

When Gail didn't reply for a while, Dov came in and sat down on the floor by her head. "I said don't come in," she sighed.

"I know."

Gail huffed and looked at the wall. After a while, she noted, "You have a date."

"Yeah, you did too."

Oh right. She'd told him that before. "I canceled. One more date with the idiots my mom's picked, and I may vomit." She was perilously close to listening to 90s angsty girl music. She had a Tracey Chapman CD somewhere in her crap. Depressing lesbian music. Awesome.

With a deep breath, Dov spoke. "I'm gonna say this, and you can hit me okay?" Gail eyed Dov. "Okay, you're my friend."

When Dov said no more, Gail rolled over and smacked the side of his head. "That's it?"

Dov didn't flinch, "Well, yeah. I worry about you. Okay? I mean, no offense, the last two dates your mom set up did not make for happy Gail. Or as happy as you ever get."

As Dov babbled, Gail gave him her most annoyed stink eye. "Dov. Shut. Up."

"Shutting up."

Gail sighed and sat up. "Thank you, and if you tell anyone I said that, I'm going to turn your balls into a change purse."

"That's…. Vivid." But Dov didn't look offended. It was, admittedly, nice to have someone with whom she had absolutely no sexual tension, and simple friendship. Why did it have to be Dov?

And then her thoughts drifted back to what Traci had said earlier and Gail sighed reaching for her phone. She thumbed a contact who was becoming far too familiar for someone she'd only known a couple weeks, but to say that she could get her mind off of Holly would be lying. Gail tapped in the sentence and hesitated over the send button for a moment. It was agony. She pressed send.

_Is it too late to change my mind?_

Dov watched her, but said nothing. In a way, he was like Oliver. A rock she could lean on sometimes, though it was easier to let her guard down with Oliver. With Dov, she could just be as mean as she wanted, and he was okay with it.

_Nope. Need the address?_

Smiling, Gail replied she didn't and got up, "Go away, Dov, I'm going to hang out with a real friend."

"I'm hurt." He clambered to his feet and hesitated as if he wanted to hug her. Gail quickly shot him an angry glare and he bolted.

* * *

Holly tamped down her delight at the text, and fed another coin into the machine. When Gail had texted to ask what she was doing, Holly had hope. They'd hung out a couple times since 'the kiss' and never once talked about it, though they both clearly remembered it. What did any of that mean? Stupid Holly.

But today, after Gail said she didn't play sports, and maybe they'd hang out some other time, Holly felt crushed. Like when she was ten and bought her boyfriend flowers. That had ended wonderfully, and Holly wondered why her parents hadn't suggested dating girls earlier on. They'd certainly been entirely positive about her sexuality, when she did come out. Maybe they hadn't known, and just thought Holly was eccentric.

But then Holly got that other text. Not even an hour later. Something changed her mind and Gail wanted to come hang out with her, even though she didn't like sports. Gail wanted to hang out with her. This was progress! Of course, Gail wasn't kidding when she said she didn't sport, and resulted in what was possibly the most embarrassing softball related incident Holly had ever seen, including the time she'd played beer-league rules and the catcher puked stopping a slide.

At least Gail was willing to laugh at herself, and they went out to dinner instead. Gail insisted Holly pay, after making her play sports. "I can't believe you're that bad! You're a cop!"

"You don't swing a nightstick like that," whined Gail. "Give me a break."

"Oh so you're super awesome at nightsticks and guns and handcuffs?"

Gail stuck her tongue out at Holly. "If you tell me any of those things are a turn on, I'm going home."

"Hah, like this is even a date."

"Oh? You're in a fleece _and_ flannel hat and we played softball. It's totally a date."

The quip caught Holly off guard. Did Gail think this was a date? Admittedly Gail had been going on a lot of horrible, failed, blind dates. "It's cold out. And why are you so fixated on a date?"

Abruptly Gail threw her hands up, shaking them out as if they were going to fly away. Holly had seen the nervous motion before. "Do you like Vietnamese food? This smells good." She turned to the restaurant and gestured.

"Uh yes, yes I love Vietnamese," replied Holly, though she couldn't remember the last time she'd ever eaten it.

Gail nodded and quickly acquired a table. "My mother," she explained, "has set me up on a date every night for the next week."

"That escalated quickly," Holly noted.

Nodding, Gaul sighed and slumped a little bit. "After the last one, I couldn't deal with it anymore and called you."

Interesting. This was worse than just needing the rescue from boring Neil. This was giving up. The waiter showed up before they could go further. Holly ordered a Thai tea and something in a bun, while Gail got a coke and Pho. They split the pork egg rolls. "So am I going to keep being your emergency bail out?"

Looking skittish for a moment, Gail shrugged. "My roommates were out and I really didn't want to be home alone."

"Where mom might call you and demand to know where you were?" That sounded familiar.

But Gail looked a little odd, like she was lying about something. "Sure. That. My mother and I don't get along." That was evident, as Gail called her 'mother' and not 'mom.' She puffed out a breath. "Plus one forever?"

This meal was going to be all kinds of awkward. "Have all the blind dates that bad? Neil was cute, in a male sort of way, but dull."

That set Gail off on a tirade about the last date. A fellow Toronto native, he'd gone to England for a couple years and come back with a pompous accent. Holly dissolved into giggles as Gail recapped and imitated the guy. The giggles became guffaws when Gail started doing the mannerisms.

The food came as a rescue, and they dug in and it was great. When Holly's surprise was evident, Gail pointed at her and laughed. "You didn't know! You totally don't eat this."

Holly felt embarrassed, "You caught me off guard." She knew she sounded petulant, but at least Gail found it amusing and fun.

"That's okay, I still came out ahead. Good food and hanging with the coolest chick ever." She lifted her coke in salute, which Holly matched. The tea was really good.

"Flattery will not finagle you my buns."

"Your buns _do_ look awesome, Dr. Stewart," Gail said with a slight leer.

Then it clicked, "Gail Peck, are you giving me shit?" Gail just grinned and Holly found herself laughing again. The only awkward part of the meal had been her all along. The tension was gone, and Holly found herself enjoying hanging out with her friend again.

A part of her was disappointed the kiss didn't come up again, but a surprisingly greater part was pleased they were still friends. Gail had shown the most 'whatever' reaction to Holly being gay and she still seemed to value her as a friend after all that. It wasn't perfect, Holly still had a massive crush on the woman, but she could live with it.

* * *

As soon as Gail opened the door, Dov scared the shit out of her. "Who was the hot chick hugging you?"

"Jesus!" She snarled at her roommate, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He knew she hated people jumping out at her. She hit his arm as hard she she could, causing Dov to jump back. "What are you talking about?"

Not sensing his own impending mortality, Dov barged on, rubbing his shoulder. "The brunette? I saw you guys outside the Indian place."

Gail tried not to blush. There was nothing to blush about right? Just friends. "That's my friend, Holly."

"Gail, I know you. I live with you. You're not a hugger. She was totally hugging you."

It took effort not to slam her coat on the hook. "You're an idiot."

"Come on, who is she? I swear I know her."

"I told you! She's my friend. She sat behind you at Frank and Noelle's wedding."

The itty bitty hamster wheel in Dov's head spun. "The coat check girl you were giggling with all night?"

Perhaps Gail would kill Holly. "Yes, the coat check girl." Awesome, Dov had noticed her being a goof with Holly all night. She'd kill Dov, that would work better.

Dov looked like everything clicked, "Oh! This is the friend you went out with the other night? I thought you were kidding!"

It was hard to say what was more annoying. Was it that Dov had been so worried about her being home alone that he'd nearly sacrificed a date, or was it that he was willing to let her just leave the house on a lie? "No, I actually have a real friend, all on my own, so you and Officer Posterboy can stop hovering."

"Sorry, I'm just... You know what, I'm going to shut up."

"The boy can learn!"

Dov rolled his eyes. "So you made friends with the coat check girl?" Pivoting to rail on him, Gail paused when she saw he was smirking. "That's the new forensics geek, right?"

"Nerd," Gail corrected. "Yes. Dr. Stewart to you."

"That's cool, you need a friend."

"Dov, I will hurt you."

"She hugged you. You'd punch me if I hugged you."

"Yeah, well she smells better." The snap remark made Gail's stomach flip. Crap. No good.

That did not seem to make Dov concerned and he flopped on to the couch. "It's cool, you having friends outside of work. Except she's not really outside work, is she?"

"Goodnight Dov." Gail rolled her eyes and went into her room.

Friends totally kiss each other, right, Peck? she asked herself.

Gail's regular therapist had pushed her a little on the topic, asking if it was a bad thing (similar to how the department shrink had poked at it). While Gail really didn't care about people being gay or straight, she thought she knew herself. It was a damn Peck rule, for crying out loud! And being better than everyone? Well that wasn't working out so great. Neither was not letting anyone get in her way.

Today's session had been helpful about Nick at least. She didn't want him. Not only that, she **hadn't** wanted him. He was just convenient, as had been Chris. Cute guy, wants to make her happy, can't deal with her behavior when push came to shove.

Gail knew she was hard to deal with. She had a lot of ex-Peck-tations to live up to, and she was always compared to Steve, or her cousins. Gail the Fail was what her cousin called her, until she hit him. She had to be tough, she had to be hard, and the only way to protect herself was to be cold.

So how come Holly made her feel so warm inside? She could trust Holly. They already talked about a lot, especially after the kiss and the stupid "Things Straight Girls Say" stupidity. Now they were friends in a way she'd never had before. And Holly didn't just tolerate her attitude, she smiled at it in that quirky, side smile way. She laughed honestly at Gail's dark and twisty jokes.

This was just what a best friend was, she had told the therapist. But she knew, she knew this was something else. She felt right with Holly, and being away from her was frustrating. Now what to do about it? Would Holly even be interested in someone changing teams? Maybe she'd worry that Gail as going to use her as an experiment? But weren't all relationships experiments?

Gail fell on her bed and pushed her face into her pillow to scream.

Why was this so hard!?

* * *

Why was it so hard to not swoop over and kiss Gail?

Holly had stood to the side, being blocked by Gail, as the man continued his tirade about the death behind Holly. Gail stood her ground, hand away from her gun, and let he rant, but then he'd taken a step closer and Gail raised her hand to stop him. "You need to step back, sir," she said grimly.

The tussle surprised Holly, mostly because she didn't expect tiny Gail, who had zero sports abilities, to be able to spin the man around that fast and cuff him with no effort. It was insanely hot, which reminded Holly about how she'd had a horrible crush on a woman in the navy once. Women in uniforms. If Gail had short hair, Holly would have cried.

Officer Cruz, Gail's partner that day, had been less than pleased at the situation, chastising Gail for the action, and the urge to kiss Gail started when the blonde quipped that the man was about to violate medical jurisprudence. Cruz's mouth dropped open as Gail went on to recite exactly what the man had been about to do to the evidence and why it was a problem, especially if he was the killer.

That freaked the man out, and as Gail hauled him to her cruiser, she winked at Holly.

Melting. Holly was melting inside.

When Gail came back rather quickly, she was smirking like a little devil. "You look very pleased, Officer Peck."

"Cruz called it in, guy was _already_ a suspect. Nash thinks I'm psychic."

"No such thing."

"You have _no_ sense of humor, Doc."

Always in the field, Gail called her 'Doc' or 'Dr. Stewart.' The use of 'Holly' was surprisingly rare, unless they were alone or far away from police things. "I've been told I have a fantastic sense of humor."

"Probably by the same people who think you're a good dancer." Gail screwed her face up in amusement. "Cruz and I are gonna stick around until Diaz gets here with whoever lost the bet this morning," she said, semi-cryptically. "Anything cool I can take back with me? Bonus points?"

"You already caught a suspect trying to tamper with the scene," noted Holly, amused at how adorable Gail was. "He was run over by something big and heavy. A van or a trailer."

Gail leaned over, "Tire treads are wide... Not a trailer, maybe a truck. Why heavy?"

"The way his stomach burst."

"Cool. Gross, but cool."

Too soon for Holly's taste, the replacement officers arrived and Gail took her suspect off to the station. When Holly was ready to go, she texted Gail, suggesting they could have dinner.

She was very, very, disappointed when Gail had to work.

* * *

When her phone beeped, Gail got excited, thinking maybe Holly had changed her mind about going to the hockey game, and would be free to hang out instead. It was a little disturbing, how much she cared about Holly right now, and wanted to spend time with her. The kiss thing aside, which frankly Gail hadn't really managed to put aside at all, Holly was an altogether awesome person.

_You canceled another date_.

That was her mother, and Gail groaned.

"What's wrong?" Chris looked up from his video game.

"Nothing," she lied and tapped a reply.

_I'm not going on them any more, so just cancel them._

That probably wasn't going to help anything, but it was worth a try.

"Doesn't look like nothing," Chris remarked. "You look angry."

"Watching you absolutely fail at Mario Kart will do that for a girl."

"You can do better?" He held out a controller.

Gail snatched it, and sat down beside him, "It's my Wii, you moron."

Smirking, Chris restarted the game as a two player session. "I never see you play."

That was true. Gail only played in the middle of the night, when she couldn't sleep. It had started when she lived at her parents, long before Perik. There had always been nights when Gail didn't sleep, fears of the unknown. One Christmas she'd asked for a Nintendo. Then a Playstation. Now she had three gaming systems, a milk crate of games, and something to do at night when the dreams that were based on reality got to her.

As she proceeded to trounce Chris on every track, her phone buzzed a few more times. Chris asked, twice, if she was going to check the messages, but she noted they'd call if it was really important. Of course the phone rang next.

"I know that ringtone," blinked Chris, surprised and hitting pause. "You better take that."

"Watch me not," she snapped, and pressed the decline button on her mother. "I don't want to talk to her." She unpaused the game.

"Gail," Chris said warningly, hitting pause again. He had met her mother, once, for dinner. She'd called him Craig all night and didn't like him. "Why are you ignoring your mother?"

"You've met her," snapped Gail. "Do you want to play or what?"

They played another round before Chris' phone rang, "It's Denise." He went to his room.

Biting her tongue on the advice to ignore the lying bitch, Gail played a few tracks on her own. It became evident that Chris wasn't coming back, and Gail shut down the Wii and flipped to a first person shooter, with headphones on. It was easy to get lost in the mindless carnage of make believe.

Her phone kept buzzing however, and Gail finally reached over to look at it. Fifteen from her mother, which she promptly deleted. Two from Holly. Gail felt her skin heat up in a blush.

_You're missing a great game!_

The second text was a selfie of Holly and two friends in hockey jerseys, hoisting beers. Gail laughed and startled when Chris spoke.

"That's not your mom."

"How would you know?" She scowled and tapped a reply, calling Holly a nerd.

"You look happy." He smiled at her, tiredly. "You never looked that happy with me. Or Nick." Chris sat down on the couch. "So what's his name?"

"There's no..." Gail trailed off and felt herself startle. Oh crap. "It's not even that, god. We're just friends."

"If you say so."

The phone rang again. Her mother. Ugh. Gail answered. "I'm surprised you didn't send a uniform for a visit."

"Your father talked me out of it." The tone in her mother's voice made this a serious comment, not a joke. "I've canceled your dates."

What? Gail blinked and then grinned, "Good."

"I trust you understood their point."

"Yes, I do. And you should be happy to know I've been going out with a friend lately."

"Oh?"

"We went to a movie, and dinner, and batting cages."

Her mother was silent for a moment. Chris looked surprised as well. "Gail dear, you're terrible at sports."

"Thank you so much."

"I see. Is this serious?"

"Not at the moment, but I'm trying new things, which was your point."

"Hmm, well. I suppose." Her mother hesitated. "You're still seeing a therapist, I understand."

Ugh. That wasn't good. "Yes."

"Just make sure Sgt. Best doesn't know. Promotions are due up soon, and now that you've recovered from your suspension..." The rest went unsaid and Gail winced.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to shame the Peck name."

"That would be nice. Remember dinner is next week."

"How could I forget." They hung up with the customary lack of adorations and Gail flopped onto the floor. "Chris, what would it take for you to taze me next Thursday? Or spray me with pepper spray?"

"Leave your bras in the shower again?"

"You can't put them in the dryer, they get all bent and break too fast."

"TMI!" But he laughed. "She's not that bad, is she?"

"I promise you, I would rather be shot. Or abducted again."

The dark humor fell flat and Gail sighed. Just one more person she couldn't tell.

* * *

**_To Nan, who left an anon review: If you stick around, Steve will actually demonstrate my answer somewhere around part 4. He uses a knife. If you leave a review with questions, I try to always answer and I may even give you spoilers._**


	3. Leave The Light On

**Author's Note:** Have you ever spilled industrial strength drain cleaner on a polyester skirt? I went to Catholic school. We had to entertain ourselves somehow.

* * *

"Your phone keeps buzzing," Holly noted, pointing at Gail's purse.

"Yep." Gail popped the P loudly and drank more beer. "Herr Peck is after me."

Holly frowned, "Your father? Why?"

"My mother," corrected Gail.

"That would be Frau Peck." Holly gave her a grin and Gail squinted. Then she rattled off a sentence in what Holly presumed was German. "You memorize that?"

Snorting, Gail reached over and plucked a fry from the bowl on the table. "Are you one of those boring monolingual people?" There was a pitch to Gail's voice, a drawl that made her words a little more biting than normal. But she was grinning.

"I know French, and some Latin… Wait, you speak German?"

"Yep," grinned Gail. "Why is that a surprise?"

"I heard you speak Italian, and you're telling me you speak German too?" Holly was, she had to admit, impressed.

"And French." Gail smirked.

Holly waved her hands, "No, no, wait. You told me about a case where Dov was stuck with a woman who didn't speak any English!"

"The Italian woman? Yeah, that was a crazy day."

"And you didn't help?"

"Didn't speak it then."

Holly frowned, "You said that was four months ago."

"Yeah?"

"You were _fluent_ at dinner!"

There was a sad expression on Gail's face that surprised Holly more than the language revelations. As if Gail had expected no one to believe her, or in her. "Well," she sighed. "Don't know what to tell you, Holly." And she ate another fry.

"That is so cool," Holly breathed, and Gail startled. "I know French. Barely. I can't imagine having that many languages in your head! Do you dream in them?"

"Sometimes," Gail replied, confused. "I'm sorry, this is cool?"

"Totally! I don't know anyone who's fluent in multiple languages!" Holly bounced in her seat and startled the waitress. "Sorry," blushed Holly, and they put in their orders for entrees, Gail making it clear hers was not to have any tomatoes. "Okay, give, how many total?"

Gail was flustered. "Languages? Including English, six fluently. And I understand some of those morons from the east coast. Oh and Russian, but I'm not really _fluent_." Holly whistled, and grinned. "Is this a turn on or something?"

"No!" Liar. Yes. Totally. Absolutely. "I just think it's awesome! Did you take them in school or something? I mean, you picked up Italian in a month? That's crazy!"

"No, I just read the books." Gail had the grace to look sheepish. When Holly stared at her, she looked away, face closing.

Was Gail just not used to compliments? To being awesome? "Okay, maybe that's a turn on," Holly muttered. Gail blinked and arched her eyebrows. "You're funny and a genius? Why are men not falling all over you?"

Gail groaned. "I scare them away, Holly. And I'm ignoring my mother because I don't want to go on anymore dates." A pause. "Men suck."

"I am not qualified to remark on that," decided Holly.

Their food made an appearance and Gail dove into her fish after checking it for possible tomato contamination. "When?"

"When what?"

"When did you know you were a lesbian? Did you just wake up one morning and think that fleece and backpacks were the thing?"

Holly laughed, but realized that Gail remembered that entire night with freakish clarity. "I knew I liked girls when I was twelve," she explained. "I knew I was gay when I was sixteen."

"Back of a car?"

"A truck, and he got to first base." They lifted their beers and clinked to bad dates. "Do I get to ask random questions?"

"Sure," grinned Gail.

"Combat boots, skinny jeans, and baggy tops?" Looking perplexed, Gail arched an eyebrow. "Why the boots?"

"Comfortable ass kicking."

It was too late, Holly realized. She'd already fallen for her.

* * *

"Did that child hit your cat with her car?"

Gail tried to concentrate on the nurse, but the world was a little wobbly. Pulsing. God, she hated Oxy. She loved it, but God it made conversations a bitch. "Who?"

"The cop you came in with."

"Oh. No. Just Nick." Andy was still there. Awesome. The day just kept getting better and better.

The nurse laughed softly. "We could call Nick," she suggested to Gail. Making a face, Gail shook her head and there was another laugh. Why was that funny? "You're lucky that didn't get on your clothes. You would have melted it right into you."

Words. Why were they saying words? Why did people have to say stupid words? "She slept with my ex-boyfriend," sighed Gail. "And now she's tanking my mellow. I like my mellow. The Oxy's nice." It was nice now. It would kick her ass. "When's the doctor coming? I want to go home."

The nurse glanced at the waiting room. Jesus was Andy _still_ there? "Not with her I take it."

"Anyone else," groaned Gail, falling back onto the bed.

"Siblings? Parents?"

Gail sniffed and shook her head. She really didn't want to think about the fact that she didn't have _anyone_ who she could deal with at the moment. Dov and Chris would fuss, Steve was busy on the case and would just dump her on her parents, and she really did not want to deal with Herr Peck while on drugs. She'd probably agree to something stupid. "Nope," she sighed, popping the P loudly. "Gail Peck flies solo." All she really wanted was to check into a hotel and enjoy being disconnected for a while. No wonder people did drugs.

The nurse kept on talking about how she couldn't go home alone, and needed someone to sit up with her. "Child, you can be as brave a cop as you wanna be, but we are not letting your pasty ass home alone."

Ugh. "Why are you being difficult?" she muttered. Alone was better. She was happier alone, except when she was with … Oh. "Plus One Forever. God, I'm going to owe her my life if she comes." Gail dug in her pocket for her phone.

"You're not calling anyone," the nurse informed her. She took the name and number and gave Gail some water.

Closing her eyes, Gail tried to recover that wonderful mellow place where she was relaxed and at ease and very much not think about Nick or blind dates or anything at all like that. She was sure Andy would want to know some damn thing like if Gail forgave them or gave them her blessing or whatever else the Girl Guide wanted.

She didn't care, but it did still hurt. Gail had let down those walls and Andy broke them. But as she thought about it, she didn't know how it could be magically made better. Maybe if Andy had told her before it became a thing, admitted she had feelings for Nick. Or maybe if Nick had fessed up that he grew to like Andy over their undercover work. Maybe. Maybe.

Gail sighed and stared at the drop tile ceiling. Maybe the doctor would give her something different for the pain and it would just knock her out to sleep. That would be really nice. Sleep and wake up and not have to care anymore.

* * *

For the first time in her life, Holly was infuriated by a medical professional. The doctor keep trying to explain what the burn was from, when Holly had run the damn tox screens in the first place. The hospital had called in the middle of the Mass Spec running a sample, and asked if she could pick up Officer Peck that afternoon, because she should be able to be discharged by three.

Holly had said yes, as calmly as possible, but panicked. Gail was hurt? It hurt Holly in a surprising way, and she had momentarily found it hard to breath. She'd tried texting Gail more than once about it, but got no answer, and finally had to hunt down a detective to find out what had happened. The case she was working on was the one that had hurt Gail. Undiluted industrial strength drain cleaner. That stuff would eat through clothes.

"Look, I'm from the crime lab," she told the doctor. "I ran your screens. See there? Dr. Stewart?" She held up her work badge and was gratified to see him pale and then vanish.

As they brought Gail out, Holly was surprised to see the pained look with which Gail gave her partner. It wasn't an attack, it was just cutting and quiet and clearly gutted the other woman. Then Gail's eyes caught Holly's and there was a wash of relief from the police officer. Holly caught the words 'real friend' before Gail walked over and grabbed her arm. "Hey," exhaled Gail, her voice sounding like it was forced levity. "Let's get out of here."

"Hey, are you okay?" asked Holly. She didn't sound okay at all. She barely looked okay.

Stupid, stupid question. "Please just get me out of here." Gail's eyes were a little wild, and perilously close to tears.

That was not a problem. Holly took the handout and pills, and then led Gail to the car. "Are you hungry?" Holly helped Gail sit and realized she was going to have to buckle her too.

"McNally keeps harshing my vibe," sighed Gail, lifting her arm with a wince so she could be buckled in. "Sorry I had them call you. I'm a shitty plus one."

"It's okay." Though it did make Holly wonder how few trusted friends Gail had. Small wonder, with that armor and caustic nature. "Want me to take you home?"

Gail looked up at her, suddenly very small and vulnerable. Her voice was tiny, which Holly didn't even think Gail could do. "No one's home." Then, even smaller, "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Holly sighed and, making sure Gail's hands were in her lap, closed the door. There was something that made Gail not want to be alone, more than just being stoned out of her gourd would do. "Of course." Gail was clearly asking for help. Holly could keep her unfair feelings in check for one night when her friend needed her.

The drive to her house was quiet. Gail rested her head on the passenger window, eyes closed, and occasionally winced when she moved. She didn't even make a fuss when Holly got her inside and out of her jacket and shoes. The uniform belt was tricky, and Gail had to fight with it to get it off. Without any prompting, Gail sat on the couch and rested her head on the back, as if the drive had taken every last ounce of her energy.

She'd had a rather high dose of pain killers, so when Holly came back with water and Gail was sound asleep, sitting on the couch, there was no surprise. Wondering what Gail might look like without all those walls, Holly sighed. She nudged Gail to lie down and covered her with a blanket. The blonde's face was scrunched up and Holly gently brushed the hair away from her forehead to kiss the pale skin.

Nope, still in pain. Not like kisses had magical properties. Holly sighed and went about her usual evening, making a change to plug in Gail's phone which had a text from someone named Princess saying "Andy told me you're with some brunette. Assuming it's your coat check friend Dov told me about. Tell me if you're dead." Holly toyed with the phone, wondering how to reply. Of course, she didn't know the passcode, and was about to put the phone down when a voice from the couch rose up asking who called.

"It was a text from Princess." Holly put the phone down and touched Gail's face with the back of her hand. No fever. "Feeling any better?" The pale, smooth, skin was cool to the touch.

"Pretty sure hands aren't how you're supposed to check for pain," grumbled Gail.

"Actually they do teach us how to check for a high temperature with our hands. Mostly for little kids." She handed Gail the bottle of water. "How's your pain?"

"Seven." She tried to open the bottle and winced. "Nine. Shit, shit, shit." The bottle fell to the floor and Gail cradled her burnt arm, tears sparking in her eyes. "I'm going to kill McNally. I wipe with this hand."

The simple absurdity of the statement made Holly smirk. "I don't know if our friendship is up for me helping you pee." She retrieved the bottle and handed it, open, for Gail to drink. "That said..."

Gail sighed. "I need to pee. Can I have more drugs?"

"After," decided Holly. "You're too heavy to haul upstairs."

"I'm not fat," groused Gail. "Did you get my bag from the hospital?"

"Yep. If you want to shower, we can work something out."

Gail looked like she desperately wanted a shower. "Lemme see how peeing goes." Glancing at her phone, Gail picked that up and read the text first. "Shit..." Gail shoved it in her pocket without replying and made it up the steps without harm and shooed Holly out.

Leaving Gail alone, Holly went back to get Gail's bag, some more water bottles, and the pills. Her guest room was more of an office, but like all over workers, Holly had slept on the sofa bed enough times to know it was pretty damn comfortable. She made it up and then knocked on the bathroom door. "You fall in?"

"I can't button my pants." Gail sounded absolutely torn between the hilarity of the comment and frustration enough to make a grown woman cry.

Holly swallowed a laugh. "Do you have something in your bag? I can get you sweats."

The door opened. "I have sweats." Gail's face was damp, as was her hair. "Can you... God, I hate asking all this." Maybe some of the pain on Gail's face was embarrassment.

"It's okay. Plus one forever!" Holly raised her arm in salute and went to the guest room. Gail's bag had academy sweats shoved in, as if they were for running later. The sniff test showed they were alright, so Holly took them, the shirt, the underpants and socks, to the bathroom. "Knock knock."

"It's open."

Holly popped in and blinked at a shirtless Gail, holding a towel up to her front. "Hey. You got your shirt off!" And bra. Down girl.

"You are a shitty detective." It was that acerbic, angry Gail. Sweating too. Getting her shirt off must have been a trial.

"Dead body puzzles are more fun. Let me know if you need help, okay?" She placed the clothes on the radiator.

But Gail shooed her out again. This time Holly stayed by the door and heard the snarls and curses. "I'm fine!" Gail shouted once. There was running water, the sound of a damp cloth, and Holly felt her face burn. Gail was giving herself a wipe down.

Firmly ordering her brain to stop fantasizing about the mostly naked blonde beauty in her bathroom, Holly cleared her throat. "Everything okay?" Gail was her friend, and only her friend.

There was another curse and the door opened. "I can't get my hair back," she snarled.

Holly smiled, looking at her friend in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and an angry scowl. The socks were in the sink for some reason. "How about you eat a sandwich, take your drugs, and I'll brush your hair."

"I'm not hungry," grumbled Gail, walking to the hallway and stopping. A moment later she turned the right direction to the guest room. Holly was a little impressed. Still, she went downstairs to make a sandwich. Part of her brain remembered that Gail didn't eat raw tomatoes, and she ended up making tuna fish.

Back upstairs, Gail lay on her back, eyes squeezed shut. "I'm not giving you your meds until you eat." Holly set the plate on the nightstand and cajoled Gail into sitting up and eating.

"I hate you." There was no venom in her tone as Gail took a bite. Then she took another, until she inhaled half of the sandwich. In the brief quiet, Holly started to brush her hair. "You're good at that."

"Thank you. I don't get to brush other people's hair a lot."

"Date women with longer hair," advised Gail, reaching for the second half of the sandwich. "I don't feel as queasy."

"And _that_ is why I wanted you to eat. Here." She handed over two more pills, which Gail popped immediately. Holly freed the blonde hair from it's braid, brushed out tangles and then asked, "Do you sleep with it down or in a braid or..."

"You can braid it?" She sounded interested, so Holly started to braid. "I usually just let it get all tangled. I braid it for work sometimes. I can't remember why I grew it out." She sighed. "I was probably trying to get my parents off my back."

Holly thought about that for a moment. "That sounds annoying." Holly could only imagine the stress of living up to that Peck name. They were a who's who of Toronto policing.

"Hah," snorted Gail. "Be better than everyone else, don't screw up, and remember who you are." At Holly's quizzical sound, Gail elaborated. "Don't forget you're a Peck and what that means. I represent policing in Toronto. It's my birthright." She sounded almost resigned. "I mean, if my mother knew I was high as a kite in the hospital, singing to lamps, I'd get a lecture."

Holly smiled and was grateful to be sitting behind Gail just then. "Singing?"

"I can see you in the mirror, nerd."

Looking up, Holly met Gail's gaze in the mirror and blushed. "Damn, you're supposed to be stoned right now!"

"I'm at the in-between stage where I have a brain." Gail closed her eyes and sighed. "That feels really nice."

Holly pursed her lips and tied off the braid. "Your hair needs some love, Officer. Split ends all the way up."

"Maybe I'll just cut it all off and freak out my father. He'll just give me the silent, disapproving, look." Gail was staring to ramble. "He's great at that one. Whenever Steve or I screwed up, mostly me, he'd just frown and not say anything. Except I can get him to yell. Steve can't. Our mother never yells at us. She has this voice ..." Gail paused. "They're shitty parents."

"I'm sorry."

"I bet your parents are nice. You're nice, so they must be. I'm a jerk, just like my parents." Gail sniffed once. "Sorry, I'm dumping my life all over you. Did I tell you I got dumped at the alter once? And most of my exes tell me I'm a frigid bitch." Another sniffle. "This is why I hate people. Except you're not people."

She was starting to fall into the drug pit fast, which wasn't surprising when Holly thought about the day and the dosage. The second half of the sandwich was only partly eaten, and Holly wisely took it from Gail's hand. "Why don't you go back to sleep."

"Phone?" Holly handed it over and Gail thumbed a message with one hand. "Don't need my roommate's girlfriend calling SWAT on you." Holly wasn't sure if it was good or bad that Gail's roommates were so concerned. "I'm feeling stupid again."

"How's the pain?"

Gail squinted at her wrist. "Throbby, but like warm jello and not a trampoline." Then she paused, "I'm real dumb, Holly."

"You're doped up, Gail."

"I'm dumb about people." She sighed and looked at Holly with big eyes. "You're pretty. And nice. A really good friend, even if you're weird and awkward. You laugh at my jokes, give me shit when I deserve it. And your lips are really soft. I liked that."

Exhaling, Holly nudged Gail to lie down, "I take that back, you're stoned."

"Stoned out of my miiiind, but I don't care about men anymore. I don't think I'm gonna date them. They suck." Sighing again, Gail lay down and looked wistful. "Is it nicer, dating women?"

"That's … really subjective, Gail. Go to sleep."

Gail pouted a little, "Is it quiet here at night?"

Holly smiled. "Yes, it's very quiet." She took her laptop off the table and brandished it, "I'll be downstairs."

"Writing the next, great Canadian, journal article, I'm sure." Ah, there was the snarky Peck she'd grown fascinated with. "Thanks." And there was the vulnerable one that Holly was falling for.

"Just remember this when I get attacked by some dead body," joked Holly. Gail made a weak zombie joke, and looked a little off-colour, but curled up in the bed. Holly wondered what that was about, but went to the kitchen to try and finish the article about the Robbie Robbins case. The case where they met.

It was dark when she decided to pack it in, quietly slipping back into the office/guest room to stow the laptop. Gail was out cold, with the lights on, and Holly smiled. The blonde's face was still slightly contorted in pain, but much less than before. She stood and watched Gail sleep for a while, before deciding she was being a creeper. As quietly as possible, Holly pulled the blankets up and turned off the light.

That turned out to be a bad idea.

Sometime after her shower but before she got tired of her trashy novel, Holly was startled by a scream, no ... By a yell from the guest room. Absolute terror. Quickly a thud and a clatter followed and she shouted, "Gail! I'll be right there." Holly all but fell out of her bed on a mad, barefoot dash to the guest room.

She arrived to find Gail, sitting on the floor holding the now-turned-on lamp, sweating and looking freaked out. "Holly," she said in a strangled voice. The room was mostly fine, if you ignored the bed sheets being pulled out and in a mess. Gail pushed some loose strands of hair away from her face. "Right." She exhaled a long, shaky, breath and leaned against the end table.

It was fairly common to have nightmares when in pain, and for some people, the painkillers only made them worse. If Holly hadn't been aware of Gail's expressions, she might have chalked that up to the medicine. But. Gail's face had a weary resignation about it that implied these sorts of things were regular.

Something very bad had happened once.

"Here, give me that," she asked Gail, softly, and put the lamp back on the end table. Kneeling by her, Holly felt Gail's cheeks and was not surprised to feel a cold sweat. She glanced at the bed again, and decided to change the sweat soaked sheets entirely.

Through the sheet changing, Gail barely moved. "You don't have to do this," she mumbled. "I'll be fine."

That was a damn lie, Holly thought, and ignored the suggestion. "Do you need help getting up?"

Gail shook her head and, after a moment of thought, got up to sit on the bed. "I'm sorry," she grumbled, putting up walls immediately.

Deciding the best action was not to make a fuss, Holly handed her the water bottle. "Do you want something colder?" Gail shook her head and downed half the bottle in one go. Carefully, Holly pressed the back of her hand to Gail's forehead. It was getting back to a normal temperature. "I'm fine."

"Uh huh." She sat on the bed and cupped Gail's face with both hands and studied her eyes clinically. Which was hard. "Pupils are fine and your eyes aren't glassy." While Gail muttered that she'd _said_ she was fine, Holly stood up. "Do you want more painkillers?"

"No," Gail replied, wearily. "They made my head too thick. Couldn't think when I woke up."

It had been years since Holly's psych rotation, but that sounded more than a bit like PTSD and trauma induced nightmares from psychical pain. Gail should not be left alone right now, if possible. "I'm going to get my book."

It was a measure of her emotional temperature that Gail didn't argue. When Holly came back, with book and her robe, Gail was curled up on her side, face at the light. So that being left on hadn't been due to exhaustion. "I'm a grown woman, and I sleep with a light on," she sighed.

Sensing that was as much admission to the issue as there would be, Holly stretched out on top of the covers. "I'll leave it on when I leave, then. I'm sorry, I turned it off earlier."

"S'okay. You knew I can't eat raw tomatoes." She yawned. "And I hate eggs."

Hesitating, Holly reached over and caressed Gail's head. "Feel better," she whispered, as Gail yawned again and seemed to sink into the bed. She really was like a cat.

After a long bout of silence, Gail spoke. "Holly?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'm still here."

"I'm sorry I scared you."

Holly lowered her book and rubbed Gail's back lightly. She didn't know what to say to that. "Try to sleep, okay? I'll be right here."

It was a while before Gail's breathing eased into the pattern of sleep. It was longer before Holly stopped watching her, but when she left, the light stayed on.

* * *

**_If you leave enough reviews, we can be mean to McNally for breaking the friend code. It's simple. Always check with your friend before dating her ex._**


	4. Fleece Pantsuits

**Author's Note:** We are obligated to be mean to the girl guide (Canada has Girl Guides, not Girl Scouts, check it out). Also schwarma is some of the most fantastic foods in the universe. There's a food truck I used to stalk that made the best, greasiest stuff. You should try it. BTW, I resurrected my blog and I'm also posting updates there, so it gets tweeted (I can't manage to get FFN to talk to twitter, it wants to make me a new account instead of using this one). Check my profile for the link and feel free to pester me on Twitter, I'm chapsticklez

* * *

She didn't get back to work for three days, and even then Frank kept her on desk duty. Gail had stayed only the one night at Holly's and after that Dov and Chris babysat her. Now the whole station was, which was annoying, and everyone was giving Andy a glare. That was alright, Gail felt. When Nick tried to talk to her though, Gail had enough and told him to screw himself.

Finally left alone, Gail pulled her phone out and tapped Holly's number to text her.

_I'm going to kill someone._

It felt very natural to text Holly. And in this moment, Holly might be the only person she could confide in. Maybe Traci, but she was Andy's friend too, and that would be unfair. Was 'too' even the right word? Was McNally her friend any more? Ugh.

_It may be better not to tell me that._

_Har. You made plans for tonight?_

_Not exactly._

That was a little vague.

_Can I buy you dinner?_

There was no immediate reply and Gail put her phone down to answer the desk phone. Why she had to answer calls when she hurt her writing hand made no sense, but it was better than staying at home another day. While she took a call about a noise complaint (no, a delivery truck at noon didn't count), the phone buzzed a few more times. Finally she picked up her phone to read them.

_Gail Peck. Are you asking me on a date?_

The second was five minutes later.

_I promise to wear flannel._

Another few minutes later.

_Or I could wear fleece. I bet I can find a sexy fleece pantsuit._

And as Gail considered her reply, a fourth and fifth came in.

_I'm sorry, I was trying to be funny._

_No more date jokes. That was really bad taste._

Gail smirked.

_I was on the phone, you idiot._

She flexed her hand a few times and jumped when Oliver walked up and cheerfully asked, "How's my girl, Peck?" If it was anyone else, Gail might have insulted him, but Oliver was Oliver. She flipped him off. "That's my Peck. You eat?"

"I swear to god, Oliver..." Gail trailed off as her phone buzzed and Oliver held up a bag from her favorite middle eastern restaurant. "Did you buy me schwarma?" She practically salivated.

"And dessert." He pointed back at McNally, who was sheepishly holding a box of donuts. As Gail scowled, Oliver added, "She said she's not eating with us." Her cellphone buzzed again, this time ringing. "Answer that. Me and schwarma will wait in the break room."

Gail glanced at her phone and smiled to see it was Holly. "Don't eat my lunch!" She shouted as she thumbed the phone to answer.

"Really? You asked _me_ out," replied Holly on the phone. Gail could hear Holly's lip quirk into that side smile.

"Oliver brought me lunch. Dinner? Yes or no or are you going to send me six more texts?"

"Shut up! I sent you ... Fine, I sent you six! But you were all radio silence for twenty minutes."

"Hey, I have a very important job, taking in noise complaints and filing papers." Internally, Gail thought how it was Canada's tax dollars at work.

"My tax dollars at work." Holly echoed Gail's thought. "I'm actually busy tonight," sighed Holly. "Not for dinner, I mean, but I won't be free till late."

"I can eat out late." The moment the words left her mouth, Gail blushed. Holly laughed. "Oh shut up, you know what I mean."

"I really don't think I do." Before Gail replied, Holly went on. "Nine PM late."

"Oh that's not late. Besides, I'm just on phones till at least next week."

Holly's voice got softer, "How is your hand?"

Damn it, why did that make her feel warm? "Better. I can flip people off." The bright laughter delighted Gail. "So nine. Should I meet you at your place?"

"Oh you know where I live?"

"Idiot, I spent the night there. I remember. Cop."

"I'll allow it. Okay, pick me up at nine and take me somewhere nice."

"Wear your best flannel," joked Gail and she hung up to Holly laughing. She could feel the smile on her face and turned only to see McNally standing there like a hurt puppy, holding the box of donuts. "What is with you?" She snapped at McNally.

The other cop shuffled. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry-"

Gail cut her off, "Don't okay. Just don't." This wasn't the time or the place. She took the donuts. "I don't want to talk to you about it, I don't want to hear shitty excuses. Okay? You screwed up. Take him, deal with it, I actually don't even care anymore." The words came out of her mouth, and Gail was shocked to realize how true it was. As McNally stepped forward, Gail held up her burnt wrist. "No. Do not hug me."

McNally's eyes locked on the wrist. "Okay. I just... I don't know what to do," she whispered.

It was mean, but Gail smiled thinly. "Well. That's _your_ problem, McNally."

At least Oliver just wanted to talk about shopping for weapons.

* * *

Holly was ignoring her friends. It wasn't that they were annoying, it was that she'd finally pegged that she had more than a crush on Gail Peck, and was stuck in a rut. So the fact that she was at dinner with two of her oldest, best, friends, who were practically family, wasn't enough of a distraction from the memory of that beautiful, pained, face, sleeping in her guest bed.

So much of Holly just wanted to kiss it and make it better. But she knew that would never be enough to chase the demons out of Gail's head. They'd spent a couple other nights at Holly's since then, all sober and undrugged, but each night Gail had left a light on in the guest room. Holly knew the six-pack of nightlights in her purse wouldn't fix it, but she'd grabbed them anyway. Would Gail appreciate it or be defensive about it? Impossible to tell. Maybe she'd make one of those dark jokes about it, the ones that made Holly laugh deeply.

"Earth to Holly," Rachel said loudly.

"Sorry, I was thinking about ... work." Partly true. Gail was at her work, right?

"So the date?"

Holly's mind was blank. The only date she could think of was Gail's disaster series of blind dates, which she'd ditched to hang out with the coolest chick ever. Her words. "Sure?" she replied, hesitantly.

"Great, she can meet you at the bar by the station!"

Danger! Danger! What had Holly just agreed to? "Uh, wait, what?"

"You, blind date, next Tuesday. Get your head out of the cadaver, Holls!"

Holly stared at Rachel, frowning a little, "Right! That's fine. Tuesday is good."

Dinner went on, and Holly found herself feeling entirely uncomfortable. She used to enjoy blind dates, meeting new people was fun. But she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a date at all that wasn't with Gail.

This meant a blind date was a good thing. Get back out into the dating pool. So why did it feel like she was about to be cheating on Gail?

* * *

When Gail had figured out that Nick and McNally were getting it on, she'd been mad. Not that they'd done it. Hell, she thought they'd done it while undercover. No, she'd been angry at them for lying and hiding, but in a way somewhat grateful. Now she didn't have to ditch Nick when he got too close. But for the first time she could ever remember, Gail felt jealous.

What the hell was Holly doing on a date!?

They'd texted that morning, Gail inviting Holly to play trivia crap with her friends, or not, and Holly simply said she was busy. Gail had assumed, stupidly, that meant work. But no, no, it meant a date with a kind of hot chick. For unknown reasons, it made Gail irrationally jealous! And why the Black Penny?

She finally gave up staring death glares at them, right around the time Dov wrapped up the game. When he and Chloe started kissing between disgustingly tender replies, she snapped. "I'm going outside."

As she stormed out, she caught a weird, guilty, look from Holly. Really? Now you're having second thoughts? With a snarl, Gail yanked her coat on and let the blast of cool air calm her a little.

"I didn't know you were such a bad loser at trivia," remarked Chris, shivering as he got his jacket on.

"You think I really give a damn about Dov's stupid game?" Gail dug her hands into her jacket, letting the oversized bulk hide her from Chris. In as far as exes went, he was the least objectionable. Simple, unaffecting, and straightforward, he was easy to get along with, but not someone Gail had connected with on any deep level. It was always been, to her at least, a relationship doomed towards brevity.

Looking at him now, she felt nothing. No pang of loss, or regret for cutting ties that quickly. That said, he had also evolved into the role of friend. Chris offered up a sad smile, and Gail was reminded of his recent loss of fatherhood. "I never thanked you and Dov."

She blinked. "For the totally lame cheer-you-up party?"

"It really helps, you know? Having people who care."

That sent a pang into Gail's heart and her eyes drifted back to the Penny. She could see Holly, and was strangely gratified to find her looking less happy. "I did it for the booze, Chris." Gail stomped her feet, "If Epstein is making out with that fluff head, I'm going to be pissed."

Chris looked in, "No, he's talking to Andy. Hi, Chloe."

Blinking, Gail was presented with the happy, perky, puppy: Chloe. "Hi, Chris. I'm headed home." She raised herself on her toes and kissed his cheek. Then she hesitated.

"Don't," warned Gail.

Chloe rocked on her heels. "You looked unhappy."

"Trivia's boring." She turned on her heel and started walking to home. Dimly she heard Chris asking her to stop.

Yes, she was unhappy. The one person in the world she really, truly, liked was on a date. If Holly liked that chick, she'd stop seeing Gail as much, and that would be back to what it was. But as much as Gail wanted to pretend it was about that, she knew it wasn't _just_ friendship anymore. Gail stopped at the corner and watched the light change.

_Crap_, she thought to herself. What if these were actual feelings for someone? They were weird and new, but Gail recognized them as more than what she felt for Nick or Chris. She rubbed her face and heard footsteps behind her.

"Hey, Gail wait up." Dov. He was huffing as he fell into step beside her. Chris came up on the other side, but Dov just seemed content to walk with them.

Less attuned to the situation, Chris asked, "You okay?" Before she could answer, he ran on, "Stupid question, right."

She sulked. Gail knew she was being petulant, but for some reason Holly on a date-date bothered her. Really bothered her. She didn't talk to the boys at all, save to claim first shower, and holed up in her room. Normally around now, she or Holly would text each other. Either it would be a complaint about the day, or a check-in to see if the other made it home okay.

Gail tapped in a message asking about the date, and then deleted it. Twice. The third time she just asked if they could have dinner tomorrow, but she deleted that as well. Finally she gave up, turned on her closet light, and went to bed. There wasn't a way she way in love with Holly, it was just friendship. Because more than that was terrifying.

* * *

The kiss stunned her. Not because Gail was good at it, but because of how it made her feel. Holly was rooted to the spot, terrified and thrilled at the same time. Here was this woman she'd been crushing on for months, kissing her. It was totally Gail's idea too! All Holly had wanted was to make sure Gail was okay, but then she found out Gail had been shot at! Her Gail was shot at! Someone wanted to kill cops, and she could lose someone she cared about.

How did people live in that world? Gail took it as a matter of fact, that her job was to run into danger and save people. People like Holly. Which just made her feel horrible about that stupid, stupid, blind date. And then the babble went on overdrive. Holly knew she babbled when she was scared or nervous, and yet no one had ever stopped her with a kiss before.

It was nothing like when Holly kissed her, too. This was a real, get-into-your-pants kind of kiss. No peck (hah!) on the lips but a real, almost hungry, kiss. The way Holly had always dreamed about being kissed. "I'm sorry," whispered Gail, her face was still right there. Their foreheads were almost touching, and her hands still on Holly's face. "You just- you just had to stop talking."

It was the softest she'd ever heard Gail's voice. Tender. It made Holly want to kiss Gail more, something she really hadn't thought was possible. "I won't say another word," she whispered back and leaned in slightly, wishing with all her heart Gail was on the same page.

They kissed again and Holly's nerdtacular inner self cheered. It was like Gail had been starving herself from kissing Holly, but now it was free and oh god, it was everything Holly had dreamed about. Gail didn't stop touching her, too, her soft hands cupping Holly's face. Holly lost total track of time, but when Gail leaned away, it felt too soon, and Holly clutched Gail's shoulders. "You really shouldn't be here, Holly," Gail sighed, resting her forehead against Holly. Before Holly could really decide if she wanted to be upset, Gail added, "If someone's shooting at cops, this is the least safe place."

Oh. That made sense. "I'm sorry."

"No, no," Gail kissed her, lightly, again. "Don't be sorry, please." She sighed. "I need to go. Oliver will be looking for me."

Holly nodded, "I don't want you to get shot at."

That made Gail huff a laugh. "It's my job." She caressed Holly's face. "I'll call you after, okay?" Sniffling back the fear, Holly pulled Gail in to hug. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'll be okay."

If she held on to Gail, them she wouldn't be able to be shot at. She never wanted to let her go. "You have to go..." Her voice was barely over a whisper.

"Yeah, I have to go." Gail stroked her hair. "I'll be safe."

"Please be safe." It took monumental effort, but Holly let go.

Gail nodded slightly and then leaned in to kiss her again, "I'll be safe." Another kiss. A deep kiss. A great kiss.

Oh that was bad. Holly didn't want to stop kissing. It took all her willpower to step back. "I'm going to, um, wait. A minute. You go, and ..." Gail nodded, looking a little blitzed, and took a deep breath before stepping out.

Holly covered her face. Oh this was so, so bad. She was totally falling for Gail. Completely and utterly, she was past crush and into that place where all she wanted to do was touch her and hold her. Hell, they didn't even need to have sex, just getting to be able to be with Gail, when both of them knew what they wanted, was going to be satisfying for days. No... No, she wanted more of the kissing and touching.

Right. Go back to work. Holly fixed her glasses. Catching a glimpse of herself in the glass, she saw she was way too happy. Bad Holly. Taking a breath, Holly pulled her shit together and walked out... Right into a cop talking to Gail. Damn.

"Hey!" He smiled brightly at her.

"Hi," smiled Holly, and she turned to leave. Behind her she heard the man identify her as Gail's friend from forensics.

Then Gail's voice, forced and too loud, bounced down the hallway. "The courier was sick, Oliver! If you really must know."

At least Holly wasn't the only one having trouble keeping cool.

* * *

**_This is one of the shorter chapters in the whole fic. I thought about making it longer, but this break point, where Gail positively embarrasses herself, was too right._**


	5. Kiss-Kiss, Bang-Bang

_Author's Note: _This is the shortest chapter in the whole work, and it's 100% Gail. There is some deviation here from the show, with regards primarily to the rescue of Oliver. I love him dearly. In the non-romantic way, Oliver and Gail are an OTP as well. Oliver is my second favorite character on the whole show.

* * *

What the hell was Holly doing here? Gail's brain pinwheeled out of ops prep and into a confusing world where she'd been making out with her friend. Bad timing, she cursed. By the time she got Holly to go, Gail's heart was pounding, and she was sure Holly was pissed at her.

But it was Oliver. And he was kidnapped. And Jerry was dead, and the absolute worst place to be was going to be the damned police station. After she was out of earshot from the floor, she turned on Chris. "Hey," she grabbed Chris' arm, "Who the hell let her in?"

Chris looked blank. "Her? Your friend? Gail, she's forensics! She's supposed to be here!"

"Not till we stop people shooting at us!"

Crap. Her agitation was showing. "Hey, it's okay." Chris gripped her upper arms. "You don't have to do this. We can get him back without you, he'd understand."

Gail stared at him, mind boggled. "Yes, I do." She took a deep breath. "Everyone is coming home, Chris. And I'm going to be there."

She turned went to the bathroom. The alternative was pissing herself when they raided the church. In the women's room, Gail fixed her vest again, needlessly. This was so much less terrifying than many other things she did, but it was still scary. "You can do this, Peck. Oliver needs you, he just doesn't know it." She closed her eyes, but the first image that popped in was of what a car's trunk looked like.

Oliver would know what that looked like now.

Slowly, Gail pulled her phone out of her pocket.

_Please promise me you'll stay in your lab until it's safe._

She hovered over the send button for a moment, and then swallowed. Send. Delivered. Gail turned the phone ringer off, as well as vibrate mode. The phone went into a pocket where it would not give her away with light or sound and Gail nodded at her reflection. "Okay, Peck. Get Oliver back."

Frank led them perfectly. He knew where to send everyone and when. He said every one of them would go home. He was the perfect sergeant, but Gail knew this was his last time as _her_ sergeant. She could feel it in her bones and it hurt. You didn't grow up Peck and not see these things. With ETF, Gail did her first rush of a building. She knew this was nothing she wanted to ever have to do again, crossing another job off her list, but the rush when she saw Oliver's face was everything.

"But there's a gun," he repeated as they pulled him outside. Gail refused to leave Oliver, and after a momentary scowl, Frank didn't object. He knew.

"He's not there, Oliver," Gail replied, worried about that too. And Oliver dumped his conversation on her and Frank. Shit. Shit shit shit. He was going to the station. Gail and Frank shared a look and she nodded.

"Peck, stay with him." It was an order she wasn't going to break and checked her gun.

Oliver was sweating suddenly. "He's going to the station, isn't he?"

"And you're not, Oliver." The EMT came over with a blanket, now that the area was clean, and Oliver started shaking. "Ollie, what's Celery's number?"

His eyes were wild. "No! No no nonono! You can't call her yet. She'll freak out."

"She already knows, Oliver," soothed Gail, pitching her voice like she did for children. "She's why we found you. Okay?" He was shaking his head rapidly, and the EMT told Gail off for agitating him. That didn't stop her from getting into the ambulance with Oliver, and Gail pulled her phone out after radioing Dispatch to tell Celery what was going on.

She stared at the text on her phone.

_Please tell me you're okay._

Holly. Holly was worried about her still.

_I'm okay. I'm taking Oliver to the ER. Stay in your lab. Please._

She left the phone on her knee and took one of Oliver's hands. "When does it hit you?" He looked at her, like a lost child.

Her phone lit up and Gail glanced at the one word reply of 'Okay.' Good, she needed to not try and think about why she kissed Holly for this. Oliver needed her now.

"I think it already did, Oliver," she sighed. He looked away, tears in his eyes. Ignoring the look from the EMT, Gail kept talking. "It's stupid, right? You think that you know what you're doing because you're a cop. You're smart and safe." The hand in hers twitched. "And then this happens. This thing that happens to everyone else. Not us. Cops don't get abducted, right? We get shot at, punched, stabbed... Spit on."

"Spat." Oliver puffed a laugh, probably remembering the first time he pulled an angry Gail off a citizen.

"He hocked a loogey on me, Oliver," smiled Gail. "But that's normal, right? For us that's what happens. Not _this_."

And Oliver started to cry. "How bad's it gonna be?"

"You have Celery, Ollie." It sounded absolutely idiotic to say out loud, the woman needed a proper name. "She's been through stuff. She'll be here." A pause. "I'm here."

They said nothing more until they got to the ER, and Gail stayed with Oliver the whole time. Then the second punch came. Sam was shot. They'd already doped Oliver up, but Gail took the hit like _she'd_ been shot. Jesus, first Jerry and now Sam? She checked to make sure Oliver was asleep before replying that she'd tell him.

The nurse, a familiar one, touched her arm. "Officer, are you okay?"

"Physically," Gail sighed, wearily. "There's another cop coming in, Swarek. Please get your best ... Thoracic surgeon here." While the nurse agreed to do so, Gail pulled out her phone and called a cousin. "Hey. Can you push the hospital? One of my guys was shot at the station." If you couldn't use your Peck powers for nepotistic things, what the hell was the point. She then explained what she needed and how fast.

"You're nice," sighed Oliver, who had woken up during her argument with her cousin.

"You're high." She tucked the phone away again.

"You're mean and angry but you're nice. You don't like Sammy."

She smiled and walked to the bed. "True." Jerry had been her favorite detective of that lot.

"You like me." He reached up and Gail took his hand.

"I do. But you're not going to tell anyone."

Oliver sighed and closed his eyes again. "What happened to Sammy?" His voice was a whisper. "Is he gonna die?

She sighed. "Oliver, Sam's going to be okay. Frank promised we all go home." When Oliver nodded Gail smiled at him and squeezed the hand. "Swarek got shot, Oliver. Ford was at the station." Oliver cringed and the machines by him started to beep. "Hey, calm down, okay? He's going to be fine. Everyone goes home, remember?"

"I don't want to loose Sammy," he whispered. "We're the only ones left. Frank's leaving me too." The grip on Gail's hand tightened, and she swallowed down the fear and pain of the memory of Jerry. "Don't leave me."

"I won't," promised Gail. "Any time you need me, I'm here." She squeezed his hand and sat down. "I'm going to sit here, and you're going to sleep until Celery gets here." Mumbling an okay, Oliver quieted down.

Once he was out, Gail pinged dispatch, who said Celery was on her way. Then she pulled out her phone again. There were no new texts from Holly, so she sent a simple one instead.

_It's okay now_

She didn't trust herself with anything else to say to Holly. Beside her, Oliver stirred. "I'm so sorry you're in the club, Oliver," she said softly. "If anyone doesn't deserve this shit, it's you."

She looked at her phone, somewhat sad there was no reply from Holly. There was nothing to say, except maybe that she loved Holly, and Gail wasn't real sure she knew what love was. Had she been in love with Nick? Probably not. God, Andy was totally dumping Nick right now too. Served her right, in a way. Him too.

The door opened and a nurse motioned for Gail. Celery was standing at the end of the hall, looking terrified, listening to Chris. Yeah, he was fucking this up. "Would you get her? I don't want Oliver to be alone."

The nurse nodded and brought Celery over. Gail made a hand motion at Chris, ordering him to stay. "How is he?" Celery's voice was a whisper.

"Banged up. He's on Haldol and some painkillers, but mostly they want to calm him down." Gail looked at the sleeping Oliver and guided Celery to a seat by the door. "I want to talk to you, before you go in there."

Her eyes were wide, but Celery nodded. "Okay."

Gail knew she wasn't going to tell this woman about her own history, but she had to make her understand. "He's going to freak out," she explained. "He kind of did a little, but tonight or tomorrow or a month from now, he's going to get weird. Like maybe he won't be able to walk into church, or ... Or minivans will freak him out. Or he looks like he's having a panic attack when he opens the trunk of a car." Gail huffed, "Or he can't sleep in the dark."

"I ... Understand," Celery said slowly, and Gail, who never believed witnesses, believed her.

"You need to be there for him. Okay? You have to sit with him and not let him be alone and be _there_ for him. And ... If you can't, then you need to just go now, because if you do this to him later-"

"I'm not leaving him." Her voice was firm.

"This is an out, Celery. After this, it changes forever."

"I know what fear is," said Celery coolly. "I can do this. I _will_ do this. I love him."

Gail exhaled, feeling pressure on her shoulders evaporate. "Okay. Come on, you can take over babysitting."

She started to stand, but Celery caught her hand, "What happened? To you?" Tension rose and Gail shook her head, tightly. "If ... You need to talk..."

"I," Gail paused. No. She couldn't say it. Even thinking about saying it, her throat tightened. She shook her head, dismissing the question. "If Oliver needs ... I mean, he's Oliver and ..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "If he needs me, call. Any time. Anywhere."

And damn it, Celery hugged her. Why did people have to do that. Gail felt bruised as she went down the hall. Chris was waiting. "What was that?"

"It's a club thing, Chris." The abductee cop club. He was not welcome, and Gail prayed he never would be. "How's Swarek?"

Chris hesitated, but didn't try to hug her. "In surgery. They got the best heart and vein guy in the city!"

"Thoracic surgeon," sighed Gail. She'd owe her cousin a favor, but she couldn't deal with Oliver losing Sam too. In the waiting room was ... Everyone. Traci had Andy, Nick was lurking, and Steve caught her arm as she walked by.

"You okay?"

Gail was insanely weary. Not tired. Weary. She shook her bother's hand off and stood to the side. "Celery's with Oliver," she replied, not answering _his_ question, but making everyone else relax. Gail closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm okay," she said quietly, and felt him standing beside her, while everyone else had left. It was odd how she knew Steve just by his presence.

"Something happened. You and Dr. Stewart." His voice was barely audible. They'd always talked this way at home, when they didn't want Superintendent Mom to hear.

Gail opened her eyes and signed at her brother. _Shut up._ The odds of anyone else eavesdropping ASL was slim.

He smiled and signed back. _She worried._

_I kissed her_, replied Gail. Steve stared at her hands and then her face. His hands stumbled a couple times, trying to form a sentence. He was always crap at languages. _I like her_, she added, bailing him out.

Steve exhaled loudly. _She's smart._

_Beautiful. Funny. _Gail smiled and looked at her own hands. _I want her safe._

The reply surprised her. _She's here._ Steve jerked his chin over Gail's shoulder and she dropped her hands. Holly was here?

"Hey, I came as soon as I heard." The breathless voice was Holly

Autopilot. Gail grabbed Holly into a hug, trying not to cry, but just holding her like a drowning man. She knew the tears were falling down her face but couldn't stop them. Suddenly Gail understood why people hugged each other. This was comfort. "Hey," she whispered into Holly's ear.

"Hey," replied Holly, breathlessly.

"I'm glad you're here. Okay?" She let go and studied Holly's face for a moment. Then she led her over to where her brother, and now Chris, were now standing. "Steve, this is Holly. Chris, this is Holly."

* * *

_**Next chapter starts season 5, and I will be more picky about what parts come and which go. Don't try to make a timeline of events. It's impossible, since the show itself has no concept of time.**_


	6. Nightmares

_Author's Note: _The show probably meant for us to think they had sex after that shower bit, but really I wouldn't sleep with Gail after that kind of day. Gail has issues, and they will be touched on. Season three was bad for her. This day is **still** bad.

* * *

Pulling into her garage, Holly wondered if Gail would be there soon or later. She'd pressed her front door key into Gail's hand when they left the ER, Gail saying she needed to put her gun back and change. But Holly watched her slip up the stairs of the hospital one last time. No matter how much Gail reiterated that no one wanted to cry on her shoulder, Holly had the distinct impression that something mattered to her a great deal.

"Now what?" Holly looked around her home and decided to clean up and change. It was something small she could do. Small things. Like dinner. They hadn't eaten, well, Holly hadn't. Gail probably ate something unhealthy and gross. A salad would not be enough and Holly stared at her fridge. She needed something more substantial.

Resting her head on the fridge door, Holly groaned. What was she doing? Gail was straight. Even if she'd kissed her in the interrogation room, the girl was straight. "You're doing it all over again," whinged Holly, and she tried to ignore the butterflies and the ache in her heart to just hold Gail again. "She blew you off and hugged you and introduced you to her _brother._ Girl runs hot and cold." Holly caught her reflection in the stove. "You're falling for a crazy straight chick, Holly Stewart."

But Gail had kissed her. Really kissed her. The kind of kiss she'd always wanted from someone and never quite found. Hungry, passionate, and overwhelming. Jesus, Gail knew how to kiss. They'd held hands, in front of everyone, at the ER, and if anyone noticed, besides Gail's brother, they didn't say anything.

"Dishes," decided Holly, and she started washing them by hand to try to calm herself, ground herself.

The front door opened and Gail walked right in, not taking off her boots, jacket, or scarf. "Hey, you hungry?"

"Nope, only want alcohol." And true to her word, Gail started rummaging through the shelves.

"It's up there," and Holly pointed over the oven, which was probably a bad place to store it. "But. Why don't you eat something first."

Gail's hand latched on to the Jim Bean. "Yeah, okay, if it's got alcohol in it." She proceeded to remind Holly that no one needed her shoulder to cry on, that the only use she might be is as the 'big gay distraction,' likened her brother's gossiping to herpes, and stomped upstairs announcing, "No going back now, girlfriend!"

Holly grimaced. Awesome. It was three fifteen in the morning, and she had a probably experimenting straight girl drinking upstairs. Hadn't she promised herself not to fall for people who didn't know they were gay, or at least bi, anymore? The sound of music startled her, and Holly realized Gail was in her bathroom. In college, she remembered her roommate locking herself in the bathroom to hide the sound of her crying. "Right." Holly sighed and looked up the stairs. Something besides just her friends being shot and kidnapped was going on here.

After giving Gail half an hour, Holly went upstairs. Where there was no answer to her knocks or questions, Holly let herself in and blinked at Gail, short hair, holding her ponytail, announcing it was just hair. "So. This is happening." She turned the music down to buy processing time.

She let Gail explain, such as it was, and have a meltdown on the bathroom floor. The inches of her hair seemed both mundane and horrific and there was something weird in how Gail said 'that part's where Jerry died.' As if Jerry dying was not the reason her voice became a near whisper. "I'm freaking out a little bit, aren't I?"

"Yeah," sighed Holly. Gail's lips curled up into a sneer/smirk and she exhaled loudly. She pulled herself back into a semblance of control far too fast for Holly's taste. People were allowed to have meltdowns in her world. "Can I have the bourbon?" The bottle was passed over and Holly sipped from it, just as Gail had. "Do you want to just stay here and get drunk?"

Sighing, Gail looked at Holly with less desperation. "No. I want..." She grabbed the irregular end of her hair, "I want to calm down." She closed her eyes and rested her head on the cabinet. Remarkably she was calming her breathing and the slight panic attack just ... Stopped. That couldn't be healthy.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not yet," sighed Gail. She touched her hair again, "Holly, it's _not_ about that."

Holly blinked. "What?"

"The kiss. Kissing. I'm not having a gay kissing freak out." She held a hand out and Holly passed the bourbon back, after taking another sip. "I have a _lot_ of issues, Holly."

"Okay," replied Holly slowly, watching Gail's face get more maudlin, though she looked at Holly with a pensive sort of fondness.

"My parents, my job, shit that happens..." She took a swig of the bourbon, "The hair is not an emergency."

"Is this another tree metaphor?"

"No. No. I want to kiss you again." Pausing Gail touched her hair again. "God, I must look like ass."

Smiling, Holly reached over for the bottle and caressed Gail's face. There was no deer in the headlights look from the blonde, just a sad, tired, drunk, smile. "Maybe I can help, honey." She took another sip and got up to find the scissors and the clippers.

"You have buzz clippers? I could go all Sinead."

"Ew, no, please don't." Holly grimaced and Gail laughed. "Sit in the tub, I don't want little blonde hairs all over my bathroom." Gail muttered that Holly was bossy, but took off her boots and got into the tub with the bottle.

Holly took off her sweater and studied Gail's face. With a tired smile, Gail asked, "You have two degrees and you're gonna tell me you can cut hair?"

"I have many skills," smiled Holly. "Can I fix this?"

Gail laughed, "I don't know!" She touched the back of her head. "Short. Make it short."

"I can hardly make it longer," teased Holly, but she nodded. "I'm going to start in back, okay?"

"Okay. Can I have the bourbon back?"

"Don't drink it all," smiled Holly. She plugged in the clippers and started work on Gail's hair. By the time she had something good going, the bottle was nearly empty and the sun was starting to rise. "Hey, Gail do you have to work today?"

"Nope. 22's covering for us until they clear the scene fully." Holly shuddered and told Gail to turn around so she could address her bangs. The cowlick was adorable, if possibly beyond Holly's skills to fix. "Probably be back tomorrow. No rest for the wicked."

Gail lamented about life, which Holly likened to the cowlick, and then complained she had no hair. "Still kind of beautiful," noted Holly, taking a good look at her handiwork. She'd not fixed short hair like that in years, but she was insanely proud of it just then.

"Oh really?" Gail scoffed and Holly smiled, oozing into the tub to sit face to face with Gail. She watched Gail's expression change, the sarcasm and defensive antagonism slipping away into a softer look.

It wasn't a vulnerable look. Holly had seen that before, when Gail had a nightmare in her guest room. This was a different softness. One that begged to be kissed. Holly forgot her worries about Gail's sexuality and cupped her pale face in both hands. She leaned in slowly, giving Gail an out, brushing her lips with a thumb. Holly was not surprised when they met halfway. This was a softer kiss, not backed by panic or fear. A kiss of equals.

Holly realized she was going to lose herself in the kisses, and end up somewhere way too fast. "Come on, let's wash this down the drain." She stood up, but Gail's expression didn't waver. She wanted to kiss Holly more. They fell into another kiss, this one prompted by Gail, and Holly knew she had to slow things. Reaching down, she turned on the water, cold, and let it blast Gail. And that didn't stop how either of them felt, kissing again... Again...

* * *

Gail's brain had stopped. She didn't care about the water, her hair, the fact that she'd outed herself to her brother and her ex/roommate. She didn't care about anything at all. Her mind was blissfully blank, and all she could be aware of was Holly, kissing her. It didn't matter they were standing in Holly's claw-foot shower, or that the shower was indeed on. It didn't even matter that the water had been cold.

This kind of kissing was exactly what had been missing with Nick, Chris, and everyone else. This softness and the curves and the kissing. Holy god. Everything should be this way. Gail was able to forget about the pressure and fear and just exist in a bubble of Holly.

When Holly broke away, sighing, Gail felt like a floundering fish. "Okay, you shower off the hairs, I'll get you some clothes." With one last, quick, kiss, Holly stepped out of the tub.

Gail stood under the water, confused, for a while. The whole day had been confusing. From the shootings to kissing Holly in the interview room, to ignoring her at work, to hugging her and introducing her to her brother. "Oh God..." Gail slowly reached up to touch her hair. Her father was going to give her hell. He had some weirdly rigid views. "No going back now, Peck," she reminded herself. But really, she didn't want to go anywhere but forward. Gail turned to the shower and let it blast her face for a moment.

The bathroom door opened, cutting the train of thought off short. "Gail, honey, a shower works better when you take your clothes off."

Pivoting, Gail nearly fell. "Yes, yes it does." She stared at Holly, making no move to undress. The doctor had already changed into comfortable clothes and tied her wet hair up, but Gail's eyes locked on the water trickling down Holly's neck.

Holly raised her eyebrows. "Just leave your clothes on the floor, okay?" She put sweats on the sink counter and, after a moment of hesitation, picked up the whiskey bottle.

"Hey!"

"You can have it back when you're clean!" The door clicked closed.

Gail groaned and wriggled out of her clothes, letting them slap onto the floor. Grabbing the shampoo, she lathered up and inhaled. She was going to smell like Holly. There were worse fates. The soap, the shampoo, the conditioner, and the towels all felt of Holly. It prevented Gail from having to process the night. Instead of wrapping her hair in a monument of towel, Gail rough dried her hair. The clothes were sweats and a dark shirt, and underpants. Her own clothes. Had she left clothes here before?

Gail sighed, "I should have taken a cold shower after all." Her libido was entirely out of control. After spending a few, futile, moments trying to style her new haircut, she gave up and left the bathroom. "Okay, I'm out. Can I have the bottle back?" Instead, Holly handed her a mug of tea. "Seriously?"

"Don't look at me like that. It's whiskey tea." Holly smiled and sat on the sofa, sipping her own. After a moment of glowering, Gail tried the tea and blinked. That was really good, and really strong. "See? All better. Soothing and drinking."

Carefully sitting on the other end of the couch, Gail pulled a pillow into her lap for armor. "Thank you." She drank the tea again and let it warm her insides, before touching her hair and trying to smooth it down.

"I'm no hairstylist," Holly noted. "But you still look beautiful."

Gail was about to laugh, disparagingly, when she realized Holly was still looking at her with a serious expression. "Thank you," she repeated. Why was it still confusing? She wanted to kiss Holly again. It was amazing, kissing her, and now she was hanging out with an insanely amazing, cool, person who was into her. Gail groaned, "God, what are we doing?"

"I? Am drinking tea after a stressful day, where I thought you were going to die. You are having a mini-meltdown after being shot at and having a friend nearly die. We are trying to relax." Holly put her mug on the coffee table and leaned across the couch to smooth Gail's hair back away from her eyes. "I'm glad you're alright."

The touch sent shivers down Gail's spine and she closed her eyes. "I'm very not alright, Holly." She thought about Oliver for a moment. Then the hand on her hair ran down her cheek and Gail jerked back reflexively, her body remembering that time when someone had caressed her face in a basement... No, no. Bad brain. Bad body. This was Holly! Holly was safe. "I'm really, really not alright. I don't know what I'm doing." She opened her eyes and looked, worriedly, at Holly. "I want to be here, with you."

"You're not up a tree all alone, Gail." Carefully, Holly took the mug out of Gail's hands and wrapped them in her own. This time there was no twitching and Gail wormed her fingers in-between Holly's.

"I know." The amount of messed up in Gail's head was unmeasurable. She knew, logically, none of this was her fault. At the same time, she knew flashbacks were going to be a bitch. You couldn't _not_ remember the last time everyone was at the hospital together, not when you were the reason why. Not when you'd just helped Oliver, and would have to keep helping Oliver. But even Oliver said it... Jerry was gone.

When Gail said nothing more, Holly asked, "Did you blow me off at the office because it was work or because it was me?"

That brought Gail back into the now. "What?" It took her brain a moment to remember the time between kissing Holly in interrogation and then hugging in the ER. "You mean when we were getting ready to go out and rescue Oliver?" Gail felt incredulous.

Holly nodded. "Was I a ... an embarrassment or inconvenience or what? Because you just looked upset I was even there, and I'm not really used to worrying like this over someone. That you might get shot, or worse and then you hugged me in the ER and held my hand -"

Why was she talking? "Why are you talking?" Gail pulled Holly closer and kissed her. Maybe this would be a thing, Holly babbling and Gail kissing her to shut her up. "I was about to go on a raid, Holly. I needed to concentrate." She sighed and rested her forehead against Holly's. She hadn't even thought about how that might have looked, and while Gail was partly concerned about being a big gay distraction, she also didn't want to get everyone's head in the wrong place before going to save Oliver. She loved Oliver, in a weird way. And it had been hard enough to keep her own head in the right place. "I don't care who knows I'm with you, Holly, but breaking that to them right before we go shoot at people? Way too dangerous." She lightly kissed Holly again, "I wanted to do _that_."

"Oh. That makes sense." Holly didn't move away and they kissed again, gently, carefully.

"I've never really ... Had anyone be worried about me like that. Even when I dated ... if we had a work thing like that, it was just work." Gail sighed, wondering if that was true, and thinking about how Nick and Chris had been when she was abducted. She felt the tension in her neck and pushed the memory away, looking at Holly. "I forgot you don't speak cop."

Holly smiled and kissed Gail, "Forgiven."

"Sorry." They kissed again and the question that was burning in Gail came up again. "Why did you stop kissing me in the shower?"

Now Holly sighed. "Because I was going to do more than kiss you, Gail. And you're kind of drunk, freaking out, and you cut your hair off after a really shitty day." Squeezing Gail's hands, Holly started to lean back.

"I want to do more than kiss you, too."

Holly bit her lip, as if self-restraint was being lost, "Gail, it's been a long day. I don't want us to regret anything." Holly's hand twitched, as if she was holding back from touching Gail more.

Part of Gail wanted to point out that with every man she'd dated, they'd have had sex by now. It did not seem like a good idea to bring that up. She squeezed Holly's hands and the woman blushed. That was when it dawned on her that Holly was purposefully trying not to throw herself on Gail, that she was holding back to make sure Gail knew this wasn't an impulsive act. It was flattering and exceptionally relieving to have confirmation that Holly wanted _this_ too.

That said, it was only going to be harder on Holly if she stuck around, since they both wanted each other, but Holly was very, very, right in now not being the best time. Gail had made enough mistakes her in past. "I should go home then," stated Gail. Holly started to protest, "Because you're right." Sex with someone for the first time shouldn't be to distract you from the crappy day but to celebrate being alive with them… Oh god. _Peck, are you falling in love!?_ If that was the case, then she'd never actually loved Nick.

"You can stay in the guest room..." Holly stopped and looked embarrassed.

Gail smiled, "No I can't." They both knew that being in a different room would change nothing.

"You're not driving home," Holly said firmly. "You have had way too much to drink, and so have I." Hesitating a moment, Holly said four words that sobered Gail right up. "I'll call a cab."

History was a bitch. "No!" The word was out of Gail's mouth before she could actually think about it. But it was too late. Memory had her.

She remembered the look on Traci's face. _Traci._ She remembered Oliver holding her arms, stopping her from breaking something, raging in the hospital after they told her about Jerry. She remembered not wanting to touch Nick, or have him touch her. She remembered Dov covering her with a blanket on his couch, trying to pretend she wasn't awake, trying not to cry. She remembered Sam not looking at her for days after she got back to work. She remembered her mother telling her to be a Peck. And she remembered a small, dark, place. Rough carpet on her face, which hurt. Everything hurt. The air was too hot, and she was freezing in that stupid dress.

And not knowing anything about it, Holly simply looked a little annoyed, "Gail. I know it's been a long, weird, day, but don't be unreasonable-"

"I'm not being unreasonable," Gail snapped and jumped to her feet. It was hard enough not to hyperventilate. The rising panic attack had a hold on her and she swallowed, trying to force it down. "_Not_ a cab."

"Gail—"

Her hands were shaking. Awesome. It was going to be one of _those_ flashbacks. She could try locking herself in Holly's bathroom again, but that hadn't exactly worked out so well. Except for the kissing part. "You know what," she replied, forcing her voice to be light and trying not to wince when it came out high pitched and freaky. "I'm totally sober now. So yeah, I'm going to go." Gail moved to her purse, trying not to let the shaking show, trying not to hyperventilate, trying to push it away.

"I think I just set off a bomb," Holly muttered and got up. "Honey, I don't know _what_ I just said but you are not zooming off, okay? No taxi, no Uber, no driving, you're staying here." She touched Gail's arm.

They both froze. Gail knew Holly could feel her trembling. She closed her eyes, unable to stop from crying. There she was, Garbage Pail Gail the Fail again. She self-sabotaged herself, she'd never be able to be the cop her family wanted, she'd never have the relationship she wanted. No one wanted to be with someone who was cold and broken. "Holly," she replied, in a strangled voice, "Please just let go."

"Oh, Gail," breathed Holly, and she did the opposite of letting go. She wrapped her arms around Gail, holding her close. The shaking didn't stop though, neither did the hug cease the crying. It wasn't the worst flashback she'd had, but it was the first in ages in front of anyone besides her therapist. Gail hiccuped and rubbed her face, as it that would erase everything. And yet, without asking a thing, Holly held on to her.

"Sorry," gasped Gail, unable to stop shaking or crying. She let Holly turn her around and hold her. Her arms wrapped around Holly, fists pressed to her back, face in her shoulder.

Saying little words, encouraging words, Holly led her back to the couch. "You don't have to say anything," she whispered, and held Gail close, stroking her hair. It took a while for the tremors to pass, for the tears to dry, and for her breathing to get to normal. The whole time, Holly just held her in her arms. Finally, Gail started to mumble she was sorry into Holly's shoulder, and in return was just shushed and petted. "You really are a cat," sighed Holly.

"I'm sorry," repeated Gail, and Holly shushed her again. Gail wracked her brain, but could never remember _anyone_ holding her like Holly was. The closest was Oliver, when she'd been in the hospital, but even that wasn't the same (and had more to do with Gail throwing an empty bedpan at Callaghan). It was the hug of someone who had never lived this life being welcoming and comforting and calming. Her hands wormed to Holly's back and stayed there, tight fists holding her in place while she breathed in the smell of Holly.

"I'm serious. I know we talk about stuff, but you don't have to make yourself talk about this. Okay?" Gail nodded and sniffled the snot back up her nose. Real romantic, Peck. "Good." Holly cupped Gail's chin and kissed her forehead. "I think we're okay tonight."

The cryptic statement confused Gail until Holly tugged her up and led her upstairs. Oh. They probably were. Any thought of romance was dead and buried tonight. Instead of the guest room, Holly brought Gail into her bedroom. "Um. Which, which side?"

Holly blinked and pointed to the right side, with the clock. "I kind of sleep in the middle." She looked embarrassed to admit that.

Wiping her face with her shoulder, Gail confessed, "I steal blankets."

At that, Holly smiled. "Of course you do."

* * *

Holly had trouble sleeping, like she knew she would. But it had nothing to do with the night light being on. While Gail was washing her face before bed, Holly had plugged it in, trying not to feel silly. Then they'd settled in bed, and the moment Holly turned off the lights, Gail had stiffened. Holly told her to look at the doorway, the fear and tension fell away as the nightlight was on, and Gail mumbled a thank you. She would eventually, tell Holly about the dark and cabs. Or not.

It was with Gail actually in her bed, sleeping like an angel, that made it so hard to get to sleep. The pain of the day, and the weird terror about taxis, was erased from Gail's face, and she was so strikingly lovely. The last time she'd watched Gail sleep, her face had never fully lost the agony of her burn or the nightmare. _You've got it bad,_ Holly told herself, and brushed the wisps of hair away from Gail's forehead.

The soft sigh and smile from Gail made Holly's heart pound. "Go to sleep, Holly," whispered Gail, startling her. While Gail's eyes didn't open, she reached over and touched Holly's arm.

It wasn't helping. "Sorry. I'm keeping you up." Gail just made a soft hm noise so Holly tried to settle down. Once she did, Gail scooted over and rested her head against the outside of Holly's shoulder. "Oh. We're doing this..."

"You keep looking at me," noted Gail, not sounding very much awake. "And you smell nice. Safe." A hand rested on Holly's arm, and Gail sighed again, exceptionally contented.

Surprisingly, having Gail touching her was far more relaxing than just being near her. Gail's breathing slipped into a steady rhythm, and Holly felt her own eyes getting heavy. Maybe this was going to be fine. There was more than enough time to learn why Gail had nightmares or hated taxis.

For the first time in her adult life, Holly fell asleep with a nightlight on.

* * *

Gail did not sleep much at all, and it had nothing to do with the beautiful woman who was holding her. That felt right and perfect.

She listened to Holly breath and stayed absolutely still. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but every time she dozed off, there was his face. And she would jerk awake, scared, heart pounding, and stare at Holly's arm.

It was never really going to go away entirely. She'd figured that out ages ago. No. She'd known that pretty much since it happened. Gail touched her neck, then her hair. Part of her had hoped that without the hair, maybe she'd cut the bad dreams off. Part of her knew this would always be inside her.

Holly made a soft sound in her sleep. A happy, contented, sound. And Gail pressed her head against Holly's arm, inhaling the smell that ignored thought and made her feel happy in the pit of her stomach. Safe.

"I'm at Holly's," she whispered to herself. "I'm safe. We're safe."

And Gail tried, again, to sleep.

* * *

_**Even being safe with Holly won't help Gail sleep much when she hears the tapping of shoes in her sleep.**_

_**Also thank you Keemohy for telling me about the typos!**_


	7. Reclassifying Awkward

_Author's Note: _Why is coming up with chapter titles so hard and so fun? This chapter's a little lighter than the last one.

* * *

It was a relief that Andy wasn't her partner today, though Chris wasn't a whole hell of a lot better. When they pulled back into the station for lunch, Gail started to make an excuse, but simply said, "Chris, go away."

It worked. The Peck Shell was useful for a lot of things. Taking her sandwich, Gail sat in the hallway and contemplated calling Holly. They'd spent the morning in a nice little cocoon, kissing and touching each other like they had all the time in the world, and no one was dying. When Gail finally left to get her things from home, Holly said she'd call.

That hadn't happened yet, but work was a mess. Even Gail had been a little overwhelmed by the crazy at the station. Dov had a mini meltdown on her, demanding to know where she'd been that night and did she know Chloe had died? It took a while for him to unpack that Chloe was not _dead_ but her heart had stopped. Chris had told him to lay off, though.

Her phone pinged and Gail quickly pulled it out to look. It was Holly. Warm fuzzies, which Pecks never got, ran down her spine.

_Guess who caught a double?_

Gail groaned.

_Need me to feed you?_

_I have a salad._

_Rabbit food._

_What noise do rabbits make?_

_Probably the same ones you make in your sleep._

There was no immediate reply, so Gail sent a follow up.

_I thought it was cute._

Holly replied with a blushing emoticon.

"What are you grinning at, Gail?" Nash, a tired and cranky Nash, was eying her curiously. When Gail looked up, Traci did a double take. "Woah." She touched her own head and asked, "When?"

_Call me if it changes? I'm going to the Penny with the gang._

Up until now, everyone had been so wrapped up in the shooting that not a single person had remarked on her hair. "I may have gone crazy last night," sighed Gail.

Traci sat down beside her. "You look ... Good. It looks great. Where did you find time to go to a salon?"

"Holly did it in her bathtub." Gail touched her own hair and sighed. It had freaked her out in the morning, but at the same time, Holly had been toying with it with such interest, Gail was sure it was a turn on. Holly probably gave her the haircut she found sexiest. Nerd.

Tossing the name around a little, Traci asked, "Holly who?"

"Dr. Holly Stewart? The forensic pathologist." She watched the wheels turn in Traci's head. "Oh come on, detective!"

It clicked. "No shit?" Traci was a little impressed and Gail nodded. "How long has that been going on?"

What a loaded question. "Since yesterday."

"Wow, I guess the U-Haul joke is real." Gail gave Traci her best side-eye glare. "So you're serious? Changing teams?"

"We haven't gotten that far!" Not that Gail didn't want to. Hell, she'd thought about it for hours now. And she still had no idea why she'd kissed Holly in interrogation. Not because kissing was wrong, oh god no. At the moment, it had seemed right and then, when she did it, it felt so wonderful. Someone caring about her like that, and attracted to her? Had that ever happened? But at work? Stupid Gail!

Traci put her hand on Gail's knee. "You okay?"

"No," confessed Gail. "I didn't sleep much." Traci did not leer at her, thankfully. "You?"

"No, not really."

They both carried Jerry's death close. It had to be hurting Traci too. "Steve likes you. A lot."

Traci smiled. "Does that bother you?"

"Nah, you're the second hottest person in the division. Especially after my haircut." That brought a laugh.

"Hottest available woman," declared Traci.

"He's the dumbest Captain of the Universe, but he means well."

Traci's face lit up in a smile. "You will tell me that story later." Gail shrugged. "Holly, huh. Really." She didn't sound too surprised. "Need to girl talk?"

"No," smiled Gail.

Now Traci gave her a look. "You like her." With a sigh, Gail nodded. "So what's wrong?"

Gail glowered and pointed at herself with her thumbs, "Straight."

"Holly," replied Traci with a smirk. "Reclassify."

"Fine, but... It's like... When you were in school, did you ever make out with an older guy who'd already been around?"

"Sure. Dex." Traci paused, "Bad example."

"Little bit, yeah."

"I see the problem, though." Traci leaned back and looked thoughtful. "How ... Gay is she?"

"Totally." Gail realized with a start just how much they know about each others past relationships.

"And she knows that you're new at girls, right?" Gail nodded. "And ... Kissing?"

"I _may_ have, um, made out with her in interrogation..." Gail still felt embarrassed. "God, I can't believe I did that at work!"

Traci laughed, "Glad you're horrified about the Peck things." Silence. "Oh, that's gonna suck."

"Yeaaaah," drawled Gail. She had no idea. "Plus side, you and Stevie won't be a blip on the radar. God, he owes me one. You both do."

"If you'd done this on _purpose_, I might agree," teased Traci. "So? Kissing?"

"Traci! Yes. There's been kissing, okay. And I stayed with her last night."

Traci looked surprised. "And you didn't jump her? I've seen her, she's hot."

"God, why are we talking about this?" Gail groaned.

"You want to jump her." Fixing Traci with her best 'you are stupid' look, Gail nodded. "Okay. keep kissing her."

"That's it? That's your advice?"

Shaking her head, Traci pointed out, "I said you deserved happiness too, Gail. If it's with her, same thing. But can I be there when you tell Steve?"

"Too late for that!" Though Gail wondered why her brother hadn't told anyone.

That night at the Penny, Gail sat with friends and none of them remarked on her hair until Oliver showed up. He was physically fine, and delighted about the new look, but complained that it wasn't fair she had better short hair than he did, and _then _everyone caught on. Dov she forgave, not that she'd tell him that, ever, since he'd had to cope with his girlfriend being shot and married. That was filed away for later ammunition though.

When totally drunk McNally went back to the hospital, Gail, Dov and Chris departed for their lair.

"So," started Chris, in his dumb-as-a-box way. "Holly."

"Oh Christ," groaned Gail.

Dov, who had missed all the excitement of the Big Gay Distraction, was lost. "Holly what? Holly who? Are you finally over -"

"Holly the forensic pathologist. I'm dating her." There. She said it. Kissing meant dating, right? Gail hunched inside her coat, walking a little faster. The boys were quiet, and Gail peered over her shoulder to see them looking at Chris's phone. "What the hell?" She grabbed the phone and was startled to see a fuzzy shot of her and Holly, holding hands in the hospital.

"She's gonna kill you," Dov remarked to Chris, but regarded the photo again. "Coat Check Dr. Stewart. Wow."

"Hey, she introduced Holly to me!" Chris was smiling.

Gail wasn't _really_ mad but she threw the phone back at Chris, "I thought Steve was going to be the gossip queen about this."

Softly, Chris replied, "I'm not telling anyone." And then, "I like your haircut too."

Gail grumbled, "They're not related." The trio walked in silence for a little while, until Dov nudged Gail with his shoulder. "What?" she demanded, peevishly.

"Nothing." But he was smiling.

"You both need to shut up. We're not talking about this."

In defense, Chris held his hands up. "Just let us know when you won't be home," asked Dov, grinning. "Or if you have a guest over."

"Stop talking."

Locked in her room, Gail twiddled with her phone. Either Holly would text her, or she'd be working all night. So Gail tapped in a message.

_I'm not drunk enough to deal with my roommates being supportive._

She turned off the lights and tried not to get tense listening to the noises in the house. It was normal for her to fuss about it. Her therapist swore eventually she'd get past it, be able to sleep in the dark, but right now that didn't seem likely. With a sigh, Gail turned her closet light on and curled back up. Holly had a nightlight. She remembered from the nightmare Gail had the night she was on Oxy. Eyes wide open, Gail tried to think about happy, relaxing thoughts, and immediately went to daydreaming about the kiss. Kisses. That wasn't really relaxing, but it sure made her less tense... Or tense in a different way.

Abruptly her phone lit up. Gail rolled over and grabbed it, hoping it wasn't going to be her parents.

_Coincidentally, I'm not drunk enough to be at work._

Definitely not mom and dad. Gail grinned.

_I'm pretty sure you lose your license, drinking at work._

_Which is another reason I'm sober. Your friends ok?_

_Everyone lived. Oliver's getting promoted, Chloe's out of the woods, so Dov is making my life hell telling me you're cute. He is sooooo wrong._

_I'm not cute?_

_Cute is not the word I would use, no._

_This is much more interesting than work. What word would you use?_

_Cool. Smart. Sexy._

Holly didn't reply for a longer time and Gail bit her lip. Finally the phone beeped a reply.

_Sexy._

_Duh. Totally awesome and sexy._

_Well, you would know._

_What's THAT supposed to mean?_

_It means I think you're sexy too, silly._

_Not usually the word people use for me._

_Well they're stupid-heads._

Gail laughed and then covered her mouth so she didn't wake up the boys.

_Very scientific._

_Sexy Dr. Stewart says go to sleep, Officer Crankypants._

_K_

She paused and sent a second message.

_Can I see you tomorrow?_

_After work?_

_I'm on second shift, I'll text you when I'm done?_

_Sounds good, honey. Sleep._

_Night_

Gail smiled, feeling her skin blush. There was something about Holly calling her that ... She sighed and curled up with one hand on her phone, wishing it was Holly's hand.

* * *

Two days. Two days ago, Gail was asleep in her bed. Two days ago, she was cutting her hair and kissing her. Two days had passed with phone calls and texts and schedules that were enough to drive anyone insane. Or maybe just one pathologist with a rampant libido. Ugh. It was not fair to fall for unavailable people. Not that Gail was unavailable by choice at the moment, if the brief make out session before she'd gone home that first day was any indication.

The first cancelation of seeing each other was on Holly, stuck working overtime. The second was Gail, who ended up calling her from the patrol car. That was how Holly was introduced to Dov. He confiscated the phone and informed Holly that Gail was driving while talking on her cell phone.

The names Gail called Dov were enlightening and hilarious. Also descriptive and anatomically impossible.

However Gail did come over that night, in the end, fairly late, knocking on Holly's door at eleven.

"Gail?" Holly wasn't quite awake, having dozed off on the couch.

"Hey, sorry, did I wake you up?" Gail looked ready to step back and leave, so Holly grabbed her hand. "I saw the lights on."

"No," she lied. "Okay, yes, but I was on the couch. Why didn't you let yourself in?"

With a smirk, Gail let go of Holly's hand to hang up her coat. "I gave you your key back, nerd. I _could_ pick the lock, but your neighbors already think I'm weird."

Perplexed, Holly locked her door. "I don't even know my neighbors, how do you know them?"

"Super cop powers." Gail stepped out of her boots, making Holly wonder if she ever tied them, and smiled softly. "Sorry, I know you have to be up early."

That soft smile melted Holly's heart. How could someone so stuck up and stubborn look that tenderly at her? "It's okay." This was a truth. "I wanted to see you." Holly informed her brain to stop acting like a teenager, telling the first girl she liked that she _liked _her like her. That had gone badly.

Gail didn't say anything to that, and just invaded Holly's personal space to kiss her again. Quietly filing away her worries about Gail being straight, Holly pulled her close. Kissing Gail was rapidly becoming one of her favorite things about the woman, though Holly managed to ruin the moment by yawning. "That's _really_ encouraging," laughed Gail, clearly not offended.

"Sorry, I didn't sleep enough." Holly sighed, hiding her embarrassment by burying her face in the crook of Gail's neck.

Gentle fingers brushed at her hair, and Gail whispered, "We don't have to do anything, Holly."

Holly laughed and let go of Gail to look at her better. "I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be my line."

"Eh," she smiled. "I just wanted to be with you… Is that okay?" A touch of shyness grew on Gail's face.

"Very much okay." They went upstairs to the master bedroom, Gail borrowing the same sweats and shirt she'd worn two nights ago, and curled up under the sheets. Holly did not miss a brief moment of tension when the lights went off, fading as the light from the nightlight cast the room in a faint glow. How did you ask someone if they were afraid of the dark as an adult?

This time, Gail curled against Holly's side, an arm wrapped around her waist. "Thank you. For the light."

Holly turned her head and let her eyes adjust to the dimness. "Sure," she said softly, watching Gail's face quietly compose itself into relaxation.

One blue eye opened to look at her and Gail smiled. "You're going to watch me sleep." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact. When Holly didn't answer, not having a real answer that wasn't a little embarrassing, Gail propped herself up on one arm. "I like you, Holly. A lot." The arm on her waist moved and Gail rested her hand on Holly's hip.

Right away, Holly's mouth went dry. "I like you too." It seemed so silly to say that, when Gail was looking down at her with a face that said she wanted to kiss her.

And Gail did lean in to kiss her again. Holly closed her eyes, concentrating on the feeling of Gail, hovering over her, kissing her in her bed. Her hand found Gail's arm and squeezed it, wanting so much to feel her weight, her skin. But before the kiss got too far, Gail pulled away for a moment. A second, very soft kiss, without any pressure to take things further, followed. Why was Gail so clearly in charge in this moment? Holly sighed when the kiss stopped and Gail returned to cuddling with her. "Good. Because otherwise that would have been really awkward."

Holly laughed louder than she meant to and covered her mouth. "You're terrible."

"I'm the most awesome person in the universe," corrected Gail.

It was impossible not to smile. "I'm rolling over." As she did, Holly was aware that Gail simply scooted around with her, taking the 'little spoon' spot as if it was hers all along.

Lacing their fingers together, Gail sighed, comfortably, her body relaxing into the mattress. "Night, Holly."

* * *

The strident voice of Elaine Peck cut in the moment Gail said her name into her phone to the number she half-recognized as being from another station. "What are you doing on Thursday, Gail?" Of course Elaine knew the minute Gail was off shift. She probably had her schedule, and Steve's, laminated to the damn wall.

Gail eyed her phone. "Tomorrow? I… why?" It wasn't time for the monthly Peck Dinner, which Gail made a mental note to figure out how to ditch this time. Maybe Oliver would put her on a stakeout.

"The McDonald boy asked about you—"

"Oh. No. No, I am _not_ free for a date, Mother. And not with Trip." Gail made a face and hung up her gun belt. "We went over that."

"I know we'd agreed to stop setting you up, Gail," remarked Elaine, her tone clear that this was not ex-Peck-ted behavior. Gail grinned at her mental pun. "And while I understand your reservations with Winston—"

"Forest Hill, Mother. He was from Forest Hill and was the most pretentious ass—"

"His father neglected to mention the accent—"

"You didn't even _talk_ to him first!" It was somewhat normal for her and her mother to cut each other off mid-sentence, and Gail was surprised she got a second one in. "Anyway, I have a date."

There was a pause on the line, as well as a sound behind her. Gail glanced and saw another officer quickly look away. At least it wasn't Andy. Or Chloe. "Oh. A date. With whom?"

"Someone I met, but just be happy, okay? I won't be some dried up spinster Peck."

"Do I know him?"

Oh good god. "I have no idea, and I don't actually care." She paused. "It's not…" Shit.

"It's not…? What? You're seeing a police officer? It's not Nicholas?" Elaine's voice dripped with venom. Wow.

"God, no. Nick and I are _over_, and by the way, thank you for telling all my dates that I was on the rebound." Gail carefully hung up her uniform and thought about what to say. Most of the time, in public, Elaine was sickeningly sweet and undercutting. On the phone, when no one could hear them, it was different. That meant different answers and replies. "She's not a cop."

And with that, it was said. The word was out there and Gail waited. "She?"

Being a cop's child meant your parents regularly picked up on any careless words. This had not been that. "Yes. She. I'm going on a date with a woman." Gail was not quite certain she wanted to re-identify herself as a lesbian, but this much could be worked with.

"I see. Is this your … first date with her?"

Gail smiled and touched her hair, thankful her mother could not see her face. Weren't phone's wonderful? "No." Well… yes. Maybe. Did the other times count? She'd have to ask Holly. "This is who I told you about before. Why I was done with blind dates."

There was another, long, silence from Elaine. "Shall I buy you plaid for your birthday, then?"

"November's a long time away, Mother," Gail replied, snidely.

"I suppose this would be better than your goth phase," sighed Elaine.

An evil grin crossed Gail's face. "I cut my hair, too. It's all short now. I'll send you a picture."

She could hear her mother's wince. "Short hair is easier to clean," she muttered. "Dear, are you sure you understand what you're doing?"

Gail closed her eyes. She didn't understand everything, but she did understand one important thing. She _liked_ Holly. Holly made her feel loved and beautiful, even when she was having a crazy freakout in the bathroom, or a nightmare. Holly didn't judge or try to fix, she was just there. "Tell Trip MacDonald no thanks."

"Alright." A pause. "If this proves to be something substantial, I'd like to meet her. I don't think I've met any of your boyfriends since Craig."

"Chris, his name was Chris." And Elaine would meet Holly when pigs fly. "Dinner, fine." Gail dismissed the proposal in her mind. She'd just make sure to 'have' to miss the family dinner. "Can I go?"

"Of course. I'll tell your father." Her mother hung up without a farewell or an I-love-you. Of course, Gail couldn't remember a single sincere 'I love you' from her mother, so that was nothing new.

She sighed and took a selfie to send to her mother. And then she texted Holly. Because that was infinitely better.

* * *

_**Gail's a bit of a tease, but she goes for what she wants.**_


	8. What She Wants

_Author's Note: _Finally there can be sex. Note there is **no** rating change. I don't publish smut.

* * *

The text made Holly's face burn. It was silly how the sentence was making her feel warm and cuddly inside. And horny, definitely horny.

_I've decided I really like it when you call me 'honey'_

"What's this? Puppy love?" teased Lisa.

"Yes, exactly," replied Holly, tapping in a quick reply.

_I like when you call me lunchbox_.

Lisa, one of Holly's oldest and dearest friends, made a disgruntled sound. "How long have you been going out with her anyway?"

Warning bells went off. Lisa was always weird about the women Holly dated. She likely had a crush on Holly, which was fine, but not something to throw Gail into. Gail would probably bite. "Not that long," deferred Holly. Three months or three days, depending on your point of view.

"This is why you blew off that date I set up, isn't it? You flipped your straight chick."

Oh god, it was going to be one of those days. Her phone pinged again.

_You're such a nerd._

Holly tried not to smile. "Yes, yes it is exactly why. I totally flipped for a straight chick, she kissed me, and unlike you, I can't juggle more than one woman and a career." It was a mean comment, but then again, Lisa's nickname in med school had been Slutty BitchTits.

_I'm your nerd. When are you off shift?_

Lisa snorted. "I want to meet her."

"Pushy, aren't we? I'll talk to her."

Another snort. "I bet she hasn't introduced you to her friends."

For a moment, Holly contemplated explaining that Gail didn't really do 'friends' very well, but she'd met her brother and her roommates. "Actually, she has," smiled Holly, sweetly. "They're nice. I just don't want ..." What she didn't want was to introduce Gail to her own friends before they'd had sex.

_Depends. What's the best way to stop you from IDing a body?_

Holly eyed her phone. That was not an answer.

"You don't want to scare her off? Come on, if she can't take us, she doesn't deserve you."

Glancing at her friend, Holly thumbed a fast reply, "You can be a lot to take in at first, Lisa."

_Whom you killing now?_

The reply was an angry emoticon.

Lisa sighed, "I won't bite her."

No, but Gail might. They would either like each other or hate each other, depending on if Lisa understood what 'Peck' meant in cop-speak. Even Holly knew Superintendent Peck. That those Pecks were the same as her Peck had freaked her out. Gail, of course, was Gail about it.

_Dov has the day off, and it was McNally or Nick. Shoot me._

"I'll talk to her," repeated Holly.

"You're texting her now."

Holly stuck her tongue out at Lisa. "I'm asking when she's off work." It was not the time to explain Gail was a cop either. Lisa would be classist. Rachel would be worse. Lisa she might have to ask Gail to shoot.

_Come to my place after you kill your partner, I'll feed you._

Hopefully it wasn't too forward. The last few days had been rough, with Sam and Chloe still in intensive care. The whole division was overworked. Still, Holly just wanted to see Gail, and knew she wasn't going to get anywhere laying hints.

Lisa exhaled, "I don't want your heart broken, again." Whatever else Lisa was going to say was, mercifully, cut off by her own phone.

While Lisa took an emergency boob job call, Holly watched her phone for a reply text. Finally it came with one word.

_K_

"Really?" Sometimes Gail was too much. Pocketing the phone, Holly paid for the coffees and hugged Lisa goodbye. She would have to find out the best way to handle her strange cat.

Around seven, she got another text from Gail.

_Finished reports, home to change, yours all night._

Holly was glad to be home alone, and knew she was blushing. The implications of that sentence were ones that gave Holly tingles.

"Oh shit. Gail's coming _here_!" In a mild panic, Holly ordered takeout and rushed through her house putting things in order. She even changed the sheets and made the bed, and squeezed in a shower. Because... Hope lies eternal. Or as her father said, chance favors the prepared mind.

She had just pulled on jeans and a clean top when the doorbell rang. Doorbell meant food, though Gail had left the key with Holly. "Coming!" Was it too soon to give Gail her own key? She rushed down the stairs only to find Gail tipping the delivery man. "Hey! I said I'd feed you."

Gail kissed her cheek as she came in, "I thought maybe you'd cook." She was far more relaxed than she had been the other night. Routines did that to people.

Locking the door, lest the police officer scold her again (it was thus far the only time Gail had gotten mad at her), Holly went for the dishes. "I said I'd feed you. I'm really a better breakfast cook."

It was then Holly noted Gail had an overnight bag. Not that it meant anything. She may not have gone home after work. "I don't really do breakfast. I hate eggs and tomatoes, which seem to make up everyone's ideas of a good breakfast."

The sentence made Holly wonder about meanings. The first time Gail spent the night, she'd been doped up and complained about all food. The next two times there had been coffee and kisses, but no time for food. "I'll keep that in mind. Drinks?" Gail obliged with coke and water. "No alcohol this time?"

"Not for me," smiled Gail, and she pulled her boots off. The enigmatic Peck was at it again. As their paths crossed in the kitchen, Gail caught her arm, "Hi." Her smile was inviting and soft, begging to be kissed.

It was too easy to be distracted by Gail's smile. When they first met, it was so rare. Holly sighed, succumbed to temptation, and stepped in to kiss Gail. "Hi," she replied, before leaning her head in.

Kissing Gail was still so new and fascinating. Everyone told her that Gail Peck was cold and aloof. Holly didn't see that. She saw a pressured, smart, antagonistic porcupine. Just pet her the right way and you were fine. More than fine. Holly could get lost in her kisses. "Hi," smiled Gail again, at a pause between kisses.

"You said that before." Holly felt a little light headed, and sighed.

Gail made a noncommittal noise, "You'd cover for me, right?" She let go of Holly and took the plates to the table.

"Oh god, you did kill someone."

"Hah, hardly. I was stuck with _Nicholas_ today and McNally dumped him for Swarek. I'm letting him stew. I mean, Nick went to her right after we broke up... Which was the point."

That was when everything about this Nick guy made sense. He'd been the fiancé who left Gail at the alter. He was the ex-solider whom Gail had dated recently. He was the guy she cheated on, to give him an out so he could, guilt-free, date her friend, and ruin that friendship too. Holly remembered the haircut, when Gail had pointed at a bit of hair, calling it 'round two with Nicholas.' Nick. Nicholas. "Sorry, what?"

"Didn't I say? Last summer, when he and McNally went undercover, they pretend hooked up but he fell in love with her. While he was supposed to be dating me, or they did shortly after. They're both really vague about it. I gave him the out..." Gail shook her head. "It's all messed up. God, I'm glad to be out of that shit." Sitting down, Gail glanced back at Holly.

There it was. Holly was a rebound. Her face tightened. "No, you didn't mention that."

Gail frowned, "Hey, Holly..."

"You somehow neglected to mention the details."

This did not make Gail get up. "Nick was ... Convenient." She looked a little tense to explain it. "There was other stuff going on, and it was way less about him, trust me. I didn't care that McNally fell for him, I cared that they both lied about it." She frowned a little. "Remember when you picked me up at the hospital? The burn?"

Holly's train of thought derailed. "Yes..." What did the burn have to do with it?

"That's when McNally finally told me. McNally who I _thought_ was my friend lied to me about how she felt about him." Gail looked more thoughtful, and more pained. "This is why I don't like people. They lie and they hurt you and you can be friends but they still do it."

There was something odd about the brutal honesty in Gail's words. "I don't know what to think about this," sighed Holly and she sat down. It certainly made that night make a lot more sense, and the attitude towards her coworker in the hospital.

Gail shrugged and reached over to squeeze Holly's hand. "It's a long, stupid, story. And involves another stupid hair moment." At Holly's arched eyebrow, Gail sighed. "Goth. After Nick left me at the alter, I was a goth for a while. Then I went to Europe, backpacking, for the summer. And then I became a cop." Gail served them both Kung-pao chicken. "And then shit happened."

Holly frowned. One day Gail would tell her the rest of the shit. She had a feeling that getting back with Nick was related to the problems with cabs, and the nightmares. And her trust issues. And yet she trusted Holly with all this. There were a lot of contradictions in Gail, and they were fascinating. "You are impossible to figure out sometimes," smiled Holly.

"Thank you?" Gail laughed a little. "You confuse me too, though mostly about myself. I mean, who knew the whole sexy librarian thing was **my** thing?"

Touching her glasses, Holly smiled more. "And you like it when I call you 'honey' too." There was a slight flush to Gail's pale skin. "Goth, huh? You'd have been striking with that skin."

The blush didn't fade, "I looked terrible. It was my rebellious phase. What about you? Horrible perm stories? Secret stash of flannel?"

Holly pursed her lips, "Do you have photos of Goth Gail?" At the nod, Holly got up and took her high school photo album off her shelf. "Senior year, high school." Gail flipped through until she found the right page, which was self evident.

"Oh, Lumberjack Lunchbox!" Covering her mouth, Gail's eyes twinkled. "You are the cutest little butch ever! I swear this is what my mother thinks will happen."

Heart stopped. "Your mom?"

Nonchalantly, and cheerfully looking at more photos, Gail said, "I wanted to get it over with before Steve did, so I told her I was dating a woman." She paused and looked at Holly seriously. "That sounds so weird, doesn't it? A woman. But 'girl' felt wrong. You're not a girl at all." Gail looked Holly up and down, then at the pictures again. "_This_ is girl Holly, and she's adorable. I like woman Holly."

Holly tried to place her feelings on Superintendent Peck knowing about her. Was this going to change her job? Oh sure, _now_ let's worry about that. No wonder Gail was a little slow to introduce her around, this actually did have an impact on her career. Would the Superintendent come down and try to talk to her? What about the Commissioner? God, there were a lot of Pecks to worry about! But what came out of her mouth was, "We haven't even had _sex_ yet, Gail!"

Naturally Gail's reply was filled with the snide bite she loved to use. "I _had_ noticed that."

"Seriously! You told your mother about me before we had sex? Who does that?"

"Uh no, I told my mother I was dating _a_ woman." Gail was careful to emphasize the word.

Holly paused. "Not me?"

With a shrug, Gail closed the photo album. "Not like she couldn't figure out in an hour, but she promised not to invade my privacy. We have a deal." Gail looked at Holly thoughtfully, "Wow, I thought I was the only one having a meltdown."

Holly sighed, explosively. "A mini freak out."

"Which is why you cleaned the house. That or it's your seduction plan, and I gotta tell you, I'm a slob, so it doesn't impress me much. Not a lot to compare it to."

"And this is why you don't invite me over." There was something about Gail's caustic nature that was soothing.

"That and my stinky boy roommates." Gail smiled. "Your house is way nicer. No roommates at all." She reached across the table to touch the back of Holly's hand, tracing a circle in a way that tingled.

Oh. They were on the same page. "You know what sucks about being a lesbian?"

"Fleece and flannel are hot in the summer?"

"When I tell a girl she's cute, she doesn't always get the homo-intended vibe."

Gail stroked the back of Holly's hand again, "I can see that being a problem sometimes." She turned Holly's hand over. "I understand how you feel," she told Holly.

Certain Gail was wrong, Holly attempted to be calm. "Oh? How's that?"

"Well. Here's this misanthropic cop, straight, who you kind of like, and worry about. And when you try to tell her without saying that, she kisses you. So is she straight? Will this be more than a kiss? Will it be like when you kissed her, and you both pretended nothing happened? Or maybe it's like the shower... What if you do sleep with her and she thinks it's a big mistake?"

Meeting Gail's eyes, Holly was a little surprised. "That... Isn't all wrong." This wasn't the first time she'd heard Gail talk about feelings and emotions candidly, but it was still odd. It was clearly something she thought about, but rarely said.

With a soft smile, Gail stroked the palm of Holly's hand with her thumb. "And then I tell you I've been thinking about kissing you for months." Holly sucked in her breath a little. "Now... This is the part where you tell me we don't have to do this." Holly shivered as Gail traced lines on her palm and inner wrist. Her voice got softer. "And I tell you I know, so you tell me we can go slow." Gail didn't stop caressing Holly's hand. "Then I tell you I'm not scared. You get to have a freak out again because this is my first time with a woman, and it's a big deal because maybe it wasn't special enough for your first time. So you-"

Holly leaned in and kissed her. If Gail was startled, it didn't show and she welcomed the kiss. Holly oozed out of her chair and into Gail's lap, winding her fingers through the short hair that was so, so beautiful. Women with sexy short hair were totally her thing, and Holly knew it. She shivered again when Gail's hands slipped up the back of her shirt. "Sorry," she whispered. "You just needed to stop talking."

"I can shut up," smiled Gail. The kissing, like the time in the shower, started getting a little eager. It was good to know that sober, adjusted-to-short-hair Gail was kissing her the same way. It made Holly ache with a need to be touched. But this was not the place. Reluctantly, Holly stood up, eliciting a half moan, half groan out of Gail. "No more cold showers, please."

"No," agreed Holly, running her hands from Gail's head down her arms and finally to clasp her hands. "No shower." She tugged once and Gail immediately stood up. Leading Gail by the hand, Holly went upstairs to her bedroom. There was no hesitation from Gail as they stepped inside. She paused, looking at the bed, "We really don't have to do this, honey."

Gail let go of her hand, and as Holly turned, expecting to see some hesitancy in Gail's face, she caught Gail pulling off her own shirt. Oh. No mistakes about it, Gail knew what she wanted and went after it. Holly was frozen in place, admiring Gail's build. For someone who couldn't swing a bat, she was incredibly athletic. She walked passed Holly and sat on the bed, eyebrows raised in a silent question. _Why are you still standing there?_ Holly could hear Gail's voice in her head and smiled.

Why indeed?

Afterwards, they lay in a sweaty, loose tangle of limbs. "Yeah, that's going to happen again," decided Gail, toying with the ends of Holly's hair. After what had become round one, Gail declared that Holly was right, and men sucked. And then she'd stepped up to demonstrate her appreciation to Holly in a way that showed she'd been paying attention or had done some research. Or Gail was just a fast learner. Either way, Holly never wanted to move again.

"Yeah," agreed Holly. Her limbs felt pleasantly heavy and she had no intention to move any time soon. Not even to shower. "After a nap."

Gail gently kissed her bare shoulder. "That was ... Amazing."

Holly finally opened her eyes and looked up to see Gail smiling, almost shyly, at her. "That was unexpected." She smiled back and closed her eyes again.

"Liar."

Opening her eyes again, Holly frowned, "What?"

"You changed the sheets." Gail looked amused and Holly rolled her eyes. "The sheets still have creases. I'm a cop."

"You're far too awake," grumbled Holly. "You didn't warn me you were chatty after sex."

Gail pulled the blankets up over them and settled down. "I'm usually not." Her weight dipped the mattress and she exhaled, clearly getting comfortable. "Sleep now," she yawned.

Smiling, Holly stopped fighting sleep, and her last conscious thought was that Gail didn't really do breakfast.

* * *

"When you said to meet you at the range, I thought somewhere else," Holly noted.

"That's your excuse for staring at my ass for the last ten minutes?" Gail handed Holly the old target and hung a new one on the line.

When Holly had called her after work, Gail was torn between running off to be with her new girlfriend and finally getting in some practice. Thankfully, when she suggested Holly meet her at the range _not _at the station and then they could go out to dinner, this was met with interest.

Anything was bound to be better than the shit she was getting at work for the haircut. Her brother grabbed her at lunch to warn her their father was on the warpath. Apparently, while Superintendent Mom was relatively alright about Gail's dating a woman (though the remark of it being a phase stung), Inspector Dad was less so. She'd spent the day dodging his calls until, finally, he caught her at the end of shift. The argument had been brief, centering mostly around Gail screwing up her chance to make detective and look at that Nash girl, already there.

That Gail didn't really _want_ to be a detective didn't matter. She was a Peck, and Pecks did what was expected. She told her father it didn't have any impact at all, and to mind his own business. In that moment, Gail expected an explosion, but her father just fumed and said they'd talk at home. Which meant Gail was avoiding her parents' place for the time being. Nothing new there.

But none of that mattered at the moment, especially when she knew she was doing just fine at work and she had Holly. Even Gail deserved some happiness, as Traci had noted. So had her therapist the night before.

"It's just you said you didn't do sports." Just hearing that amused voice lowered Gail's blood pressure. This woman knew her at her snarkiest and still not only wanted to be her friend, but wanted her for exactly who she was.

Gail snorted, "This isn't a sport." She wiped off her ear protectors and checked to make sure Holly had the right kind. "It's just target shooting."

"There's an Olympic event for it."

"That's not a selling point."

"Seriously, you don't just shoot your work gun at ... Work?" Holly looked impressed as she studied the target. "Wow. Do you score that or something?"

Gail looked at the target for a moment, "Not during practice, and I haven't done competition shoots in years. I'm just trying to have a nice cluster." She put the ear protectors on her head, though not her ears. "I don't do sports, I just like shooting things." Shopping and weapons. Did that make her butch or femme? Did it matter?

Huffing, Holly rolled up the target. "By yourself. In the middle of the night. At a public range in the middle of nowhere."

"It's six, and Marc's right there." She waved at Marc who was still hanging his own target. He liked to record his scores, along with his thoughts, right away. Most people were annoyed by it, but Gail found it calming. "At least I'm not at the outdoor range."

Holly shuddered and pulled her coat tighter, "It's a colder than normal winter. Spring's going to be a bitch."

"Too many dead bodies under the thaw," quipped Gail, putting another clip on the counter and stretching. If Holly was going to reply, it was lost when she watched Gail. "Perv." Gail smiled and kissed Holly tenderly.

Making an appreciative noise, Holly sat on the bench behind Gail. "I'm trying to reconcile the most girliest shriek I've ever heard with the badass cop."

"I'm a contradiction," grinned Gail. "Put on the headgear, okay?" Holly nodded and Gail called down to Marc, "Range is hot." He repeated it back and she picked up her gun, slapping the new magazine into place. Gail had worried that having Holly there would distract her, but she found it easier to center herself, and easily shot the target.

After retrieving that target and shooting another, Gail eyed Holly, who was smiling. "What?" asked Holly, suddenly defensive.

"You're looking extra nerdy there, Lunchbox." When Holly just blushed, Gail laughed. "Oh you can't even say you were thinking about physics and crap, can you?"

"You look ... amazingly graceful, Gail." Holly fidgeted in a way that assured Gail the doctor had gone to a dirty place.

She grinned. They had only had sex the once, but Gail too found herself going to a dirty, dirty, sexy place in her mind all the time. That morning, waking up in her own bed alone, all Gail had been able to think about was Holly. "You want to try shooting? I've got a smaller caliber."

Holly startled but shook her head. "How long do you think you'll be shooting for?"

Gail pulled out her phone and checked the time. "Half hour. Forty-five max."

Nodding, Holly moved to the bench and sat. "I'm going to sit here and stare at your ass then." Gail rolled her eyes, but finished up her practice. As she started to take apart her gun, Holly noted, "Thirty-eight minutes."

"Punctual Peck. That's me."

They walked back to the cars holding hands, and while Holly floated the idea of take out, Gail noted they wouldn't get much eating done that way. The doctor blushed again, and suggested an Italian place that was walkable from her house. That was a better idea, and Gail took a moment to kiss Holly before they drove their respective cars to her place.

Gail was there first, and texted Dov.

_Don't wait up._

In the not too recent past, Gail wouldn't have worried about such things, but since her attack and Chloe's shooting, Gail felt obligated to do so. Besides, Chris and Dov had been very attentive, making sure she was never alone since Perik.

_Say hi to Holly._

Dov was a surprisingly good friend. Thank god they'd never slept together.

_Say hi to Chloe._

The lights from Holly's car light up the area and Gail rolled down her window as Dov replied.

_That's not Gail. Holly has the phone._

She smirked and tapped a fast reply.

_Don't be an asshole._

Holly opened her garage, "I think you can squeeze yours in, honey."

Gail rolled up her window and eased her car into the second spot in Holly's rather messy garage. Her phone buzzed again as she got out.

_That's my Gail. See you tomorrow._

"Work or family?" wondered Holly.

"Roommate."

_Shut up._

And wisely he did not text again. Gail looped her arm through Holly's and sighed, "They worry if I don't show up."

"That's sweet, and creepy." Holly leaned into Gail, leading her down the road.

Was it too soon to bring things up? "I suck at relationship Jenga, Holly." Holly gave her a quizzical look. "When you said I didn't have to go back out there, with the madman, and I said it was my job, I realized I was more Peck than I thought."

Holly was, apparently, getting used to Gail's non-sequiturs. "I was scared. I've never been worried like that about someone before, and it ... Scared me." For a moment, Gail thought about not continuing what she was trying to say. Holly worried about her so much that she had to see her. Had anyone cared like that about her before? Gail squeezed Holly's arm. "Jenga? Is this about getting up trees?"

Jenga, right. "No. It's ... I'm afraid of dark small spaces, Holly. I'm afraid of being alone in the apartment at night, and I'm really, really, afraid of taxis. Nightmare, talk to my therapist afraid." She felt herself tensing up a little. She'd stopped going to a therapist regularly, but after the department shrink gave her the look about a lesbian kiss, Gail caved to common sense and called her old one up. The therapist had been unsurprised to hear about the cheating on Nick, though somewhat shocked about the kiss with Holly. They were back to monthly sessions.

At first, Gail insisted she wasn't gay, or switching teams, but her therapist had pointed out it didn't matter, and let's talk about being happy. It was a nice change from talking about being afraid all the time.

"You don't have to talk about it, Gail," Holly said quietly, slowing her steps.

She tried to get the rest of the words out a few more times, and finally, as they got to the restaurant, Gail asked, "Is it really okay?"

Holly kissed her cheek. "Only if you promise to spend the night next time you drink with me."

It was wrong for Gail to buy into the distraction, but they were just starting to play Jenga, and there were already enough blocks puller out on Gail's side. _Don't yank out all the blocks at once and go run up a tree_, she told herself, and let Holly whisk the night away with a story about a drunken adventure, school stories, and a life Gail hadn't really thought about. Gail was sure her therapist would yell at her, as much as a therapist ever did, and tell her not to use Holly (or anyone, man or woman) the way she did, as an escape.

But this was not an escape. As terrifying as it was, Gail was falling in love with someone for the first time, for the first real time. She wanted to be invested and close in more ways than just physically. She wanted the long talks and the support and the sharing, and most importantly, she wanted it all from Holly. Gail was up a different tree, and she wanted to build a tree house with Holly up there.

"Earth to Officer Cranky Pants. Where's your head at?"

"Tree houses," replied Gail, reflexively. Holly's laugh was warm like a summer rain. "Sorry, I was thinking about you."

The laughter changed a little, shifting into a softer tone. "So no dessert?"

Gail wanted to say yes. She had seen the words 'chocolate cake meltdown' on the menu and Gail loved sweet foods. But for the first time in her life, Gail didn't want the dessert. Or at least not _that_ dessert. Holly's shirt had the top two buttons undone and suddenly Gail's mind was locked on target. Holy hell, that's why men liked to look at boobs. "Only if we can take it to go," she decided.

* * *

_**Boobs. Have you noticed Holly wears a lot of shirts that shows hers off?**_


	9. Unexpected Conversations in Cars

_Author's Note: _Since Rookie Blue claims season 5 was 'four months' that means Gail and Holly had at least two months together before being stupid. Based on clothes and snow on the ground, its impossible to actually place a timeframe, so just … winter. End of winter. Spring is at the end of season 5.

* * *

"Wow, you're never here," announced Dov, staring at Gail in the kitchen of their apartment.

"I'm always here. There's coffee here." She sniffed the coffee in the pot, verifying it's freshness, before pouring a cup. "Is Chloe here or did you finally learn how to make coffee?"

Dov stared at her, "She's at her parents. Why are you here?"

"I live here, Dov. I even pay rent." Gail dropped into a chair and sipped the dark brew. Holly had an espresso maker, which was nice, but overkill. "Why is Chloe at her parents?"

"The whole dead thing... Seriously, Gail. Why are you here for breakfast?"

Gail eyed her roommate. Truthfully, the last two weeks she'd barely been home except to shower and change. She and Holly had been a little joined at the hip. Thinking about that, she smiled a little. "You're a shitty cop, didn't even hear me come in."

"You know what... Why aren't you at Holly's?" Then Dov's eyes widened and he looked at Gail's bedroom door. "Is she here?!"

Throwing a dish towel at Dov, Gail snarled, "No, she's at home. I don't have to spend every waking hour there."

"I was thinking more about the sleeping ones."

"Stop. Just ... Stop thinking about me and Holly."

Dov looked embarrassed and sat down. "But-"

"Oh my god, Dov, really? I'm allowed to sleep where I pay rent, and I do pay. God, we're going out tonight, which is more than I can say for you and Chloe."

"She's on bed rest!" Dov protested, but smiled.

"See? This is why I don't hang out with you anymore, you're all perverted." Gail finished her coffee and went into her room to change for work.

She'd wanted to spend the night at Holly's, but getting finished with her own work so late on the night before Holly had a court date made staying over seemed like a bad idea. They'd just be up all night if Gail stayed over, so it had been a quiet phone call where they talked about nothing important. She'd woken up to a too cute text, wishing her a good morning. Not willing to really get up, Gail had demanded pictures of Holly's court outfit. Holly obliged with a photo of the suit on her bed. When Gail asked for photos of Holly, she got one of Holly's foot.

It was actually one of the more hilariously happy ways she'd woken up in a year.

Gail's day was spent in anticipation of dinner, and she kept tabs on the court case by simply asking her brother how it was going. His former partner was the arresting detective, so he had all the scoop. Thus she was prepared when she finally got a call from Holly near the end of the day.

"I am so, so sorry. This is going on forever."

"Hi to you too," smiled Gail, stepping into a quiet corner. The new rookie, Gerald, looked at her expectantly. "Go. Away." She shot him a glare and he ran off.

"Wow... Was that to me or-"

"Oh god, no. The rookie, he's an annoying puppy and I think McNally wants to kill him. Of course, he's the commissioner's step-son so ..." Gail knew that pressure all too well. Of course, her godfather had remarried when she was in the academy, so she really had no idea who the kid was, or if he mattered. There hadn't even been an informative text from Superintendent Mom. "Stuck in court hell?"

"We're on an hour recess, then I finally get to take the stand."

"Ouch!" Steve had told her it was delayed, but that was plain late.

"No kidding." Holly huffed, annoyed. "I hate lawyers. They're so picky and snippy. Science is so much better, don't you think? Just straight forward and there we go, answers."

She was rambling and Gail knew what that meant. "Did you eat?"

"Did I ... Eat?"

"Yeah, the thing where you put food in your face?" Silence. "Baby, go get something." There was a little more silence and then a chuckle. "I'm hanging up now," sighed Gail. As she did, she heard Holly laugh.

The rest of the day went by slowly. Dov went to see Chloe, Chris had some date, and Holly wound up in the apartment alone. Not generally a good thing. After doing laundry and actually cleaning, Gail gave in to a whim and drove over to Holly's. The lights were on, so she pulled out her phone.

_Did you make it home ok?_

The reply was pretty prompt. It was a grumpy emoticon.

_Open the garage?_

A long moment passed and the garage door rose. Inside, a robed, un-spectacled, Holly stood, looking confused, "How long have you been there?" Her eyes were all slitty and she looked miserable

"Two texts." Gail eased her car into the empty space and ushered Holly back inside. "You look beat to hell."

"Thank you so much," grumbled Holly, and she wandered back to the couch. Gail made sure the house was locked up before hanging up her coat and joining her. "I need brain candy or I won't sleep," complained Holly.

Gail settled in on the couch and draped an arm over the back. Raising an inviting eyebrow, she asked, "So what are we watching?"

"Sports. You'll hate it." Holly wrapped her arms around herself and looked grumpy. Without really thinking about it, Gail leaned over and turned Holly's shoulders. "What are you doing?" She sounded annoyed and like she'd rather be alone. Oh, Gail knew that one.

"Lean back."

Holly eyed her, but did, allowing Gail to be her pillow. They sat there, stiffly, for a while, and then Holly pulled her legs up underneath herself and relaxed against Gail, her head on Gail's arm. Through the first hour of the game, Holly's body became more and more limp, until finally she slid down so her head was in Gail's lap, and she was snoring softly.

"Yep," smiled Gail, and she gently stroked Holly's hair. This was better than alright. This was perfect. Holly felt perfect against her.

* * *

It was amusing to watch Gail, absolutely filthy and annoyed, as she stood guard in the falling sleet, mud splattered up past her knees. Holly was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to find it cute, but the look of disdain aimed at the people trying to drive through the crime scene was absolutely hilarious and sexy.

It was inappropriate, but Holly's spot by the body, collecting evidence, afforded her an unobstructed view of Gail's ass. And the best part was that Gail seemed to have no idea that she was that nearby. True, Holly was working, and making sure all the evidence was bagged (and it was weird evidence, medical trash that made no sense given the rest of the scene), but she enjoyed the free show when Gail leaned over into the car at the tape right then.

"Sir, I'm sorry our crime scene is making your pizza delivery late, but trespassing violates medical jurisprudence, so unless you want to be arrested, you can just call Dominos and tell them to meet you at the corner." Glancing over her shoulder, Gail shot Holly a smirk and then directed the car away.

Caught, Holly adjusted her hood to hide the smirk on her face and went back to monitoring evidence collection.

"Peck, anything new?" The voice was a grumpy, older, male officer Holly had met a couple times. Holly couldn't make out his nametag.

"Weird medical trash. That's my coffee, right?" Holly glanced over in time to see Gail taking a cup of coffee from the much drier officer.

"Oh yeah, nerd patrol tell you that?"

Disdainfully, Gail replied, "Forensics. No, but they're bagging it and I don't see any more except around the body."

Blinking, Holly looked around and realized Gail was right. So did the other officer, apparently, who muttered 'huh' and sipped his own cup. "Killer doctor?"

There was a chilling silence from Gail, and a tone of forced levity (or sarcasm) in her reply, "No. A clown, Andrews." She looked vaguely deadpan, but Holly got the inkling of a feeling that there was more to Gail's comment. The other officer, apparently Andrews, looked guilty.

So she spoke up. "Or nurse. Or our victim's in the medical profession. Or coincidence. At this point anything's possible, which is the point of why we're collecting evidence. If we find trace that's on the evidence that matches the body, then maybe we have more than just coincidence. Of course, its also possible it's just cross contamination, depending on how long the bodies' been here and for that we'll need to do more intensive tests."

"God," muttered Andrews. "Are they all like this?"

"Nope," replied Gail, popping the P in the word and smirking. "Still weird. Not a place I'd look for junkies."

"Junkies?" Andrews looked around. "They don't use nice parks?"

"Not this close Zanaro's territory. This used to be Bobby Zanaro's world. Ollie and I nabbed him 2 months ago."

"Used to be," pointed out Officer Andrews. "Could be a new group or an internal fight or a total random."

"Yeah, which means drugs and gangs needs in. You want to call it in?"

"Nah, you look like you could use some time to dry out." Car keys were exchanged and Gail vanished into the cruiser to call in the situation. Andrews lingered closer to Holly than the tape, though at this point Gail had rather effectively chased off everyone. His radio crackled into life and Gail's voice came through, unintelligible but recognizable. "Copy, Peck."

A moment later the cruiser pulled out and Holly was left with just the strange man she didn't really know. And her fellow lab rats. "We'll be done soon," assured Holly, watching the body finally drive off.

"They get mad if we leave you guys without protection. Killers like to come back."

"He could have died accidentally."

"Sure, but just in case." Officer Andrews patted his gun. "Peck'll be back before you guys roll out anyway. So will other Peck."

Holly blinked. "Other Peck?"

"Her brother. She probably tossed the case to him, fraternal freebie."

"Sororal sympathy," suggested Holly, smiling. She glanced up at Andrews' face and saw confusion. "Sororal means sister, and she's his sister..." Holly sighed and went back to her work. Gail probably would have made a joke.

While the rain let up, the crime scene for more officer mostly ignored Holly and crew and said nothing, until Gail pulled back up with the cruiser. "Peck, they said you were a fast driver."

"If you want cheese all on one side, sure." Gail popped open the car and pulled out five boxes.

"What the hell? You said pizza." Officer Andrews tromped over and took a box.

"Nerds eat too." Gail smiled and jerked her chin at Holly. "Whaddaya say, Dr. Stewart? Care and feeding of forensics?"

Andrews looked grumpy, which was normal based on today, "When I called them nerds, you gave me crap."

"I did," agreed Gail, though she seemed to be more watching Holly than her fellow officer. "So?"

The other lab workers looked at Holly pleadingly. "We're almost done..." Holly sighed and gestured at the pizza. Half her crew descended on Gail the moment they were out of tyvek, thanking her profusely, and eating it outside of the crime scene. The other half finished up under Holly's watch. Holly went for the pizza last, and was not horribly shocked to see there were no more boxes. "Whoops," she sighed, walking up to the cruiser.

"All that thinking makes 'em hungry."

"I did not think this through," sighed Holly, suddenly craving the pizza and not wanting to make her coworkers feel guilty about eating all of it.

Gail smirked and reached into the cruiser, "I did." She pulled out a smaller pizza box.

"No tomatoes?"

"Just the sauce."

It was an amusingly surreal moment, sharing a pizza at the crime scene, waiting for guns and gangs (and Gail's brother) to show up. Officer Andrews was more interested in flirting with one of the techs, so it was almost like they were parents supervising a kids play date.

Holly leaned into Gail's shoulder. "This is the weirdest date I've been on in a while." She kept her voice low.

"Well since I'm going to have to cancel tonight to work on the case, and _I'm_ hungry, I figured..."

"You're always hungry." Holly smiled, finding she really wasn't too upset about the lack of a date night. There were these stolen moments with Gail that more than made up for it.

When Steve arrived, it was back to Professional Peck, and the siblings somehow even put aside their usual bantering to discuss the case. While Steve's partner was dismissive of Gail's theories, Steve seemed to be interested. It was probably aided by the fact that Gail saved them pizza.

"Run that by me again," asked Steve around the mouthful of pizza.

"Zanaro said he got ousted, and now this guy, with the same old school ink, is here dead. I say cover up."

"And the meds?"

"Not sure yet. Waiting on forensics." Gail gestured at Holly, not smiling but still looking more friendly. Work Gail was usually this kind of distant, which wasn't a bad thing. It was nice to have some delineation.

"Well then maybe you should stop feeding them pizza and let 'em get to work," joked Steve. "Okay, uni, you get to run with us today on this one. Start with-"

"Canvassing the area, did that." She handed over her log book. "Statements, such as they are. Lots of 'I ain't seen nuthin' around here. We should run the traffic light at the corner, though. I already asked the store about their security camera, but it's just for show."

As Steve's partner reviewed the log book, and started taking Gail more seriously, Holly caught a smirk from Steve. It hadn't been a shock that she was closer to Steve's age than Gail's, though both Pecks were younger than Holly. Still, somehow Steve always felt more childish than Gail did. She was more immature, but she wore it like a shield, as if it protected her from having to be taken seriously. And then Gail was this brilliant, lazy, cop. And Holly found it enthralling.

Steve winked at Holly, clearly noticing. "Dr. Stewart," he grinned. "Mind if we come back with you to the lab? See what your minions uncover?"

"Not at all, Detective," she coughed. "Uh, Officers?"

"They're leaving the footwork to the experts," smirked Gail, looking just like her brother. "Come on, Andrews, you can ride shotgun."

* * *

"This is going to be awkward," sighed Nick, dropping into the driver's seat.

"Why?" Gail really wasn't paying attention to her partner at the moment. After working with her brother for a couple days, the drudge and boredom of a normal day was much welcome. Even if it was with Nick. Speaking of, he was being quiet, so Gail looked up at him and not at the text from Holly, asking her when she got off shift. "What?" Gail put on her best sneer.

And Nick exhaled, looking relieved. "Chloe said you were going soft."

"Oh, Nicholas, don't worry, you're my special punching bag." She gave him her best biting grin, and was pleased to see him cringe.

That let them ride in silence for quite a while. "Are you still mad at me?"

Boy, Luke wasn't wrong. People do just talk if you give them enough silence. "No," she sighed, and was surprised to feel how right that felt. Then she thought about what she'd said to Holly about it, and repeated the conclusion. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch, Nick. It was passive aggressive and ... Childish."

"I'm dreaming," mutter Nick. "I'm going to drive around the corner and there'll be a bear and my high school English teacher, tap dancing."

Gail sighed and reached over, pinching Nick's arm hard. He yelped. "Smart ass, I'm serious."

"I was worried you cut off all the bitch with the hair."

"Hardly. I just think short hair looks better on me. Maybe I'll try the motorcycle next." Without thinking, she laughed and said aloud, "She'd get a kick out of that."

The problem with dating cops was the same as being related to them. They latched on to things. "She?" Nick darted a glance over. "Your mother _would_ blame me."

"I'm having sex with a woman."

It was delightful to watch Nick's double take. He whipped his head around and slammed on the brakes at the last second to avoid rear ending a van, and Gail laughed gales of laughter. The best moment she'd had in days, outside of ones with Holly. "What the hell, Gail!?" Nick was sweating.

But Gail kept laughing. "I should have taken a video of your face, Nick. That was great."

"That's not funny," he growled.

"You were funny," she retorted.

"God, is there anything you won't say to get a rise out of me?" Nick eased the car back out into traffic.

Gail carefully aimed her phone at Nick and tapped the record button. "It's true though."

"What's true?" Nick was grouchy.

"I am having sex with a woman. It's great." The range of emotions on Nick's face were priceless. She was saving this video forever. "Seriously, I totally see why you're into it. I mean, wow. Soft and curves and she smells amazing. Did you know you guys smell totally different? It's like... I used to like turkey bacon, but then I had real bacon that first time, and I thought my parents had lied to me for years. Which isn't new."

In a strangled voice, Nick asked, "Are you comparing sex with women to bacon?"

"Good point. Men are more salty."

To her delight, Nick gibbered. "Jesus, Gail. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian now, Nick," she said firmly.

"This is a nightmare. I'm having a nightmare right now."

"Don't worry," caroled Gail. "I won't ask you for sex tips. It's a lot easier when you share the same parts."

Nick's face turned red. "You're still mad at me."

"Nope," Gail laughed, popping the P loudly. "We're good now." She turned off the video.

She let him live in silence for the rest of the shift, but wasn't surprised when, at the end, he asked, "You're serious about this? The lesbian thing?"

Gail leant on the car and thought it out. "Yeah, Nick. I am."

Her ex-fiancé looked confused but shook his head. "I gotta say, it makes a hell of a lot more sense."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" But she saw his smile and, for the first time since he was back from undercover, answered it with an honest smile of her own. "You're an ass, Collins."

"You're a bitch, Peck."

But they were friends again.

* * *

**_The conversation with Nick was re-written a couple times. I had a plot thread where he was trying to get Gail back, but that felt forced. Everyone moves on, and Gail loves to harass him._**


	10. First Impressions

_Author's Note: _There's a long section here for Holly, which will cover a lot of things between 5x03 and 5x07. After that, we're really going into a divergent world. Also Nick nearly got a story about when two women really liked each other... But yes. They do break up. It's bad, it's terrible, and Gail is an idiot, but so is Holly. They **WILL** get back together.

* * *

Holly knew a honeymoon week couldn't last forever, but she was very happy when the second week of dating stayed in that awesome bubble. And the sex was awesome. Even when there wasn't sex, there was this sweet, vulnerable side of Gail that was warming up to things. Part of her worried Gail was going to be one of those project girlfriends, but when she nagged Holly to eat, or made sure she was sleeping, the doubts faded.

It made her feel special, too, when she got to watch Gail sleep. It wasn't the only time Gail was so peaceful and angelic, but it was the only time Holly could watch her without getting teased. That was Gail's armor. Sarcasm and bite to keep the world at bay, to keep it from hurting her. And asleep, the armor seemed to fade. Sometimes, when they kissed, Holly caught the same open look on Gail's face, where she surrendered to her feelings.

Turning off the lights, Holly let her eyes adjust to the darkness and focused on the nightlight. It was symbolic, in a way. Letting that light in brought Gail closer. She turned to the side and curled up, watching Gail's deep, even breathing. "You're beautiful," Holly whispered.

"I'm not asleep," replied Gail, startling the crap out of Holly.

"Jesus, how the _hell_ can you breath like that and be awake!"

Gail opened one eye, "Really wanna know?" Holly nodded. "If I'm asleep on the couch, my parents don't talk to me." She closed her eye and added, "They had a doctor check me for narcolepsy when I was ten."

What a horrible reason to master that skill. "I'm sorry." She caressed Gail's face. "How come you're not asleep?" Instead of replying, Gail rolled over and snuggled up against Holly, using her as the big spoon. Holly smiled and draped her arm over Gail's waist, letting them hold hands.

"Because you keep staring at me. Go to sleep, Holly," instructed Gail, her breathing still slow and comforting.

Holly was asleep in moments, or so she presumed, since the next thing she knew, it was a quarter after two AM and the bed was empty. "Gail?" She rubbed her eyes and squinted around. There was some light in the hallway, and Holly got up and reached for her robe. Her favorite robe was missing and she frowned, taking the one Gail usually borrowed instead.

The light was from downstairs, and Holly poked her head down to see that Gail was curled on the couch with one small light on. Interesting. She was partway down the stairs when Gail spoke, "Sorry, I tried not to wake you up."

"You didn't." Holly sat down next to Gail. "That's my robe."

"Yeah, it smells like you," smiled Gail, not putting down the forensics journal.

Holly's brain wasn't running very fast. "Gail, it's two. Why are you awake?" When Gail didn't answer, Holly reached over and took hold of the magazine. "Gail."

The blonde sighed and dropped the magazine. "I couldn't sleep. It's not a big deal."

There was a lot of deflecting going on just then, "Honey. Is everything okay?"

For a second, a pained expression crossed Gail's face, but then with levity she remarked, "My schedule change messed up my circadian rhythm, that's all. I start night shift tomorrow."

Suspecting there was more to it, Holly frowned but asked, "Night shift for how long?"

"Five nights, just enough time to get used to it before screwing me up again." Gail reached over and pulled Holly onto her lap. "Five whole nights where I'm going to be working when you're in bed," she whispered, kissing Holly's collar bone.

Every time Gail did that, spontaneously touching her and kissing her, the fears Holly had about dating a 'straight girl' melted away. Gail wanted to touch her and be with her. "You're trying to distract me," sighed Holly.

"Is it working?" Gail started to worm one hand into Holly's robe.

"A little," admitted Holly. She kissed Gail softly. "When you're not on night shift, can we have drinks with my friends?" Gail murmured something that sounded like a yes, but her face was now pressed into Holly's neck. "Gail..."

"Drinks with Holly's friends," she repeated. "Tuesday?" The kissing was getting far harder to ignore.

"I'll check." Holly turned her neck, giving Gail more access. "Bed?"

Gail hmm'd and looked at Holly, "Only if I can keep kissing you."

"Oh, no," laughed Holly, getting up. "Clearly it's my job to make you sleep." Gail smirked, and followed her back to bed.

* * *

After four nights in a row at her own apartment in her own bed, Gail decided she hated it. She also hated the night shift, and she totally, absolutely hated being partnered with Salvador. He smelled sour and only wanted to talk about jujitsu.

On the one had, she wanted her shift to be longer so she could get used to it better. On the other, she was grateful she only had to cope with it for three nights, and this was the third. As shift change finally rolled around, she pulled the car into the lot. "Sal, wake up." She slammed on the brakes to snap him awake.

"Damn, woman," he groaned. "Would it kill you to be nice?"

"Yes. I'm deathly allergic to nice. Every time I ride with Price, I have to stab myself with an epi-pen." Her deadpan was not seen as humorous.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Sal shook his head. "Just TGIS man."

Gail rolled the letters around in her head and blinked. It _was_ Saturday. Days often had less meaning when you worked them the way they did. "I'll take care of the car," she told Sal. "What? I can be nice."

The man shook his head again, "You're only nice 'cause you're getting something."

Smirking, Gail popped the trunk to get their gear. "You are shockingly correct, Salvador."

After filling out the paperwork on the car and locking her gun up, Gail took the time to shower and change. By the time she was done, the day shift had started to drift in. Gail stalled a little, not wanting to chat with McNally or Price, but she checked the schedule to make sure of a couple things. Two days off. Then back to days.

"You look too devious, sister mine," drawled Steve. He was haggard and unshaven.

"I have two days off, brother dearest. Don't call."

He spelled Holly's name in sign language and Gail rolled her eyes. "We missed you at dinner last night. Mother asked, you know."

"I'm sure she did."

"So did Dad."

"Now that's a lie, and you know it, Steven." Gail swung her bag to her shoulder. "Unless he wanted to say how I was delusional."

"He said distracted, and asked if you were still seeing a therapist."

"Christ." Gail shook her head. "See this is why I hate family dinners."

Since he couldn't argue that, Steve just shrugged. "You're serious about this, aren't you?" When Gail abruptly blushed, she found herself the recipient of a surprised brotherly stare. "I feel like I should pull her aside and ask her intentions."

Making the sign for sex, Gail smirked at Steve's wince. "You asked. What's up with you and Traci?"

"It's going okay, I think. Good. I like her."

"You've had a crush on her since that night at the Penny."

"Jerry got there first," sighed Steve. "And then there's Dad."

They both paused. Their father had more weird sticking points than anyone else they knew. "Dad will get over it. Or not. I don't care. I'm actually _happy_ for once, Steve."

"Then grab it with both hands and don't let the bastards take it away, Gail." He grabbed her for a quick hug and then shoved her away. "Get. Leave the crime solving to me."

Gail snorted and headed out. She wanted, in no particular order, breakfast and to see Holly. That gave her an idea, and instead of driving to breakfast, she found a small fruit and nut, hippie place that Celery had told her about, and bought groceries. Then she drove to Holly's and rang the doorbell. There was no answer and Gail felt a little stupid. She had this idea that Holly would open the door, all cute and sleepy in a robe, and Gail would make her breakfast and then maybe things could happen.

Instead, she sat on the stoop and sighed. "Clearly I'm stupid," she told herself under her breath. Holly was probably out, doing things early risers did.

As Gail reflected on how long it was safe to sit on a stoop with eggs and milk, she saw Holly come jogging up. Literally. "Gail?" Holly blinked and pulled her earbuds out. "Did I forget something?"

Gail felt sheepish as she gestured at the reusable grocery bag at her feet. "No. I just finished shift and thought... I wanted to see you." She couldn't remember feeling this way about any of her boyfriends, and even Nick had managed to monumentally screw up surprise breakfasts. Was she the screw up now?

"With a bag." Holly pushed her sweaty hair away from her face and peered in the bag. "Flour. Eggs. Blueberries. Chocolate chips... Cookies for breakfast?" She sounded disappointed.

Reaching in, Gail pulled out the milk. "Pancakes."

Holly's eyes lit up. "Buttermilk pancakes? You cook?"

"Contrary to what everyone believes, I _can_ cook. Just not first thing in the morning."

Holly made a show of looking at her phone. "It's 6:20."

"I just got off shift." She smiled up at Holly, feeling awkward.

When Holly's face softened, she looked like Gail was the sweetest person in the world. "So this would be dinner?"

"Both. Or I can go wake up my roommates. They'll accuse me of trying to kill them..."

Holly held out her hand to Gail and pulled her up. "If you promise not to burn down my kitchen, I think we can make a deal."

* * *

She wasn't sure what the hell had just happened. Or why it happened. But Gail was out the door and angry. "Let her go," advised Lisa. "Better now than six months when you break her heart, or she breaks yours."

"It's too late for that," muttered Holly, and she ran outside without her coat, but Gail was out of sight. Holly vaguely knew where Gail lived, but was startled to realize she'd never been to her apartment. She knew Gail lived with two coworkers, male, but the details were lost on her. Dov and ... Nick? No. Chris. An ex.

The cold, late winter/early spring wind whipped around her and Holly shuddered. How little did she know about this woman after all? Gail didn't take taxis, she slept with a light on, she was allergic to tomatoes, she had a morbid sense of humor, and she was bratty and immature. And Holly had no idea where she lived.

Damn it.

Holly pulled her phone out and called Gail. Voicemail. "Hey. Honey, what the hell just happened? If it's what Lisa said, I can explain. Just... Call me back. Okay?"

It was a terrible message, but what else could she say.

A day went by without a reply, and Holly called again, leaving a voicemail again. "Gail, hi. I'm sorry about the stupid things they said, I know you're not uneducated or not in my league. I mean, who cares about leagues, right? Except for sports, they're stupid. Actually, they're made up in sports too, to give us something to side against, which is really fake. Faker than weddings. And- that woman you work with. Price? Her too. So. Um. Yeah. You're not fake. And I'm rambling and I really need to stop talking... So. Call me. Please."

The third voicemail, after a week of silence, was less friendly. "Okay Gail, this is fucking stupid. I know you're not dead. I've heard you're working on cases. This is just stupid, and you're in a damn tree and I'm _trying_ to get you down, but you have to actually answer me sometime. So come on, just pick up the phone when I call, or call me back. Or ... Something. Anything. This not talking shit is immature."

The day after, she left the fourth voicemail. "That was mean. I was mean. I was angry. I'm still angry. I. I don't know what to do about this anymore, Gail. I miss you, but if this is what's happening, then I guess ... This is goodbye." She paused. "Goodbye, Gail."

Somehow Holly managed not to leave any more voicemails. She didn't text. She didn't stalk or spy. She just looked away. She moved on. She went on a date, which was with a woman who wasn't as witty as Gail. There was another date with a woman who was lazy, like Gail, but not in an endearing way. After the third date, Holly considered throwing in the dating towel.

"Do you know what your problem is?" Rachel asked the question over a glass of wine at her condo, across town. "You're too picky."

"I have standards. And you're the one who didn't go on a second date with Roger because he smelled funny."

"You're still hung up on the cop."

Holly groaned. "Her name is Gail."

"Her name is walked-out-on-you," corrected Rachel. "You know I'm not saying Lisa was right about it, but..."

"Yeah, I know." Holly sipped the wine, "I'm just going to be celibate."

"Don't tell Dr. BitchTits." There was a pause and they both laughed.

So Holly went on another date and tried to make it work a little. This woman was nice, funny, not acerbic, but had a bit of bite to her. Feisty. And she had a sense of humor. That got her a second date. This went a little better, and she even kissed Holly before going home on her own.

The third date happened to be after she saw Gail again, and spent more than a minute in her presence. And Gail was a damned force of nature. She was _Gail_. As if nothing had happened for three weeks, Gail asked her out to talk. When Holly casually mentioned she was seeing someone, the hurt in Gail's face astounded her. Through all the not-talking, Gail still had feelings for her. Gail was still totally hung up on her?

Giving in to temptation, Holly made the drive across town herself with the thumb, forgotten in the mess of Gail losing Oliver's daughter. And Gail confessed she felt Holly was the best thing to ever happen to her. That hurt. It stung and it poked and it ripped open everything Holly had tried to push away. It was everything she'd wanted to hear, only four weeks late.

"Goodnight, Gail."

They were the hardest two words she'd ever said.

And in that mood, where her mind was swimming with Gail, she proceeded to make an ass of herself at dinner with her date. Because when she asked Holly what was wrong, Holly told her about her ex, the cop, who dumped her crap on Holly and made her think again about everything.

"You're not over her," said the date, sadly. And she kissed Holly's cheek and left her with the check. Which Holly admitted she deserved.

That was when even Rachel stopped trying to set Holly up. Actually, that was when Rachel told her to call her back when Holly's head was out of her ass, and hung up. Lisa was more crass and told Holly to fuck off and stop being stupid. Her mother was similarly unsympathetic. After all, Gail was the one who walked away and didn't answer.

And that was how Holly ended up filling in her resume and tossing it up in various places. Vancouver. Los Angeles. Mexico City. Paris. It started as a drunk game she could play. Find all the cities she'd wanted to live in and see if they had an opening for a forensic pathologist. New York. London. Budapest.

When she got a phone call from a city she hadn't even applied to, Holly was flabbergasted. They'd pay for the move, give her a pay bump, and make her assistant chief? And she didn't need to learn a new language. But her first thought was of Gail. She wouldn't see Gail again if she did this.

As she went through each stage of the interview, first with the SFPD and then the medical college, she started to wonder if this was all real, if it was all possible. After the first interview with the US consulate and then the Department of Homeland Security, Holly felt a rising panic of reality. This was going to happen.

That afternoon, in her lab, an alert pinged on her phone that brought it all crashing down. "Peck Family Dinner in Suburbia Hell."

Gail had put the alert on her phone. She wanted Holly to meet her parents, and had promised much drinking afterwards. Holly stared at the paperwork in front of her and shoved it all in her bag. Getting drunk _now_ seemed like a better idea, and she went to the store to find something to drink that didn't remind her of Gail for at least 12 hours.

What she found was Traci, similarly determined and similarly flustered.

"Why are you here," Holly blurted?

Traci startled and then blushed. "My mom has Leo. I forgot..." She and Holly shared a look and Traci tilted her head. "Huh, that explains why Gail's been avoiding me."

"Steve hasn't been avoiding me," Holly complained. He hadn't once mentioned Gail though, which was a small blessing.

They both looked at the various brands of wine and liquor before them. "You know what really sucks?"

"I can't drink tequila without thinking about Gail and how she swears it makes her do stupid things?" Holly sighed and put her hands in her pockets.

"I was thinking about vodka for Steve. Maybe getting drunk is stupid."

"Oh, it usually is," agreed Holly. They were silent for a while. "Did they go to the dinner?"

"I think so. Gail was somewhat dressed up and left with Steve." Traci smiled somewhat fondly. "Are you hungry?"

Holly blinked. "I seem to have a dearth of dinner plans," she admitted.

"I know a great dumpling place nearby."

And that was how Holly and Traci found themselves sitting in a booth talking about their failed relationships with the Pecks. When Traci explained that Steve had followed Dex, in an attempt to ensure Traci's custody battle was won, and possibly set him up. And then Traci had warned Dex. "Isn't that illegal?" Holly made sure to keep her voice low.

"Yeah," nodded Traci. "Steve hasn't told anyone, though. I don't think he ever will." She poked at her potsticker and then ate it. "But Dex is Leo's dad."

"He doesn't sound like a very good one."

Traci looked rueful. "He's ... Complicated."

Holly didn't buy it, and suspected it was more displaced affection for Leo, but that wasn't something you said right away. Well, Gail might. "He had your best interests at heart, Steve did."

"In a creepy, stalker, 'look at me, I'm a Peck' way." Traci put down her chopsticks. "Did Gail do something like that?"

"Oh, no, she walked out on me at drinks after she heard my friend." Holly winced and explained what had happened.

"See, that actually makes sense if you know Gail," sighed Traci. "The only person I know who knows _Steve_ is Gail, and I can't ask her if this is normal." The dumplings made their appearance and Traci took a moment to explain the best dipping strategy.

"Does everyone from Fifteen take food so seriously?"

"You should hear Oliver about schwarma. He has some unholy affinity to this tiny shop. Back when I was uniformed, Gail and I..." Traci trailed off and looked apologetic. "Sorry."

Holly couldn't not smile when she thought about the time she heard Gail shout at Oliver about not eating her food. They weren't even dating then, "It's fine. You two were friends. Are friends."

"As much as Gail has friends." Traci took a bite of her dumpling. "We didn't really become friends until after ... After Andy and Nick left, actually." She looked a little sad, as if there was much more to the story. "She babysat for me that summer. Leo likes her more than Steve, actually. Except she's just inept at sports."

And that reminded Holly about the batting cages, so she related that story. Traci told her about how Steve took Leo to hockey and ice cream. They ended up spending the night chatting about that, their shared misadventures with two people named Peck who, for all their faults, were wonderful people.

"Have you met 'Herr Peck' ever?" Holly ran her finger around the rim of her glass.

"Their dad? Twice, he was ... Weird."

"Oh, no, sorry, their mother. Gail called her Herr Peck half the time."

Traci laughed. "Not met, no. She was there when we graduated, but all I remember was an angry red-haired woman with more brass than blue on her jacket, telling Gail not to embarrass them."

"She's just as lovely as Gail implied, I see."

"Yeah I wasn't looking forward to _that_ part of dinner." Traci smiled, "Gail applied for the detective spot I got."

Holly blinked, "She doesn't want to be a detective, does she?"

"Not then. I don't know about now… She did it because she was supposed to. Half assed it." Traci shook her head. "She's still rebelling against her parents in her own way."

Sighing Holly looked at her plate. "See, and now I have to wonder if that's what I was. Another way to get at her parents."

Traci's hand reached over to touch Holly's. "I don't think so. She hasn't even looked at anyone since, Holly."

"Oh great, and here I am, going on dates." Holly groaned and slid her hand away from Traci's, slumping back in the booth. "She's impossible."

"Cryptic."

"Frustrating."

"Impulsive."

"Reckless."

"Pushy." Traci smiled and added, "Sucks doesn't it?"

"Totally," agreed Holly, despairingly. "God. Maybe I should have gotten drunk."

Traci laughed. "Then we'd be hungover and missing them." They split the check and wandered back out into the spring night. "Gail went to college, you know."

"I didn't know," replied Holly, surprised. "She didn't say."

"Tends not to. That's why she's older than most of the rookies in our class, except me. She has a BS in criminal justice." Traci looked at the traffic driving by, "She likes to act lazy and like she doesn't care, but ever since a year ago..." Again, Traci stopped. "If she ever gets her head out of her ass with you, she might tell you why. Maybe. It's this whole, painful, thing. But Gail did change. Maybe she will again."

It felt like Holly should say something encouraging about Steve, but she didn't know him well enough. She barely knew him by sight. "Steve cares about you," she offered, guiltily.

And Traci nodded. "I know he does."

None of that helped her answer the email awaiting her when she got home. San Francisco. Yes or no?

* * *

**_This is the last chapter for Part 1. Please don't kill me. I'm going to take a short break before continuing on. There IS a next part and it __will be called "Do Over" and I promise Golly gets back together. _**

**_My Better Half has decreed this will be one giant fic, so settle in, folks. This is long and I split it up into story arcs (parts) for ease of my own writing._**


	11. Peck It Up

DISCLAIMER: _Rookie Blue_ belongs to Global TV, ABC, and all of those people.

* * *

**Part Two: Do Over**

_Summary: Having pretty much tanked the best thing that ever happened to her, Gail did try to move on, but if there's anything the Pecks are good at, it's making a complicated situation even more complicated._

_Chapter Notes: We are now off track for the show officially, and into original territory. Slightly more realistic dealings with Oliver and Gail and their issues. I suspect some people would argue I'm humanizing Gail too much, but I tried to think up reasons why she would behave the way she does, and decided it's her family, so I'm going to delve into why Gail is Gail. And yes, I do think she loves Oliver in her own way._

_This chapter begins some deep stuff and has darkness. Gail has darkness._

* * *

While she had her own car, Gail let Steve drive her to dinner with their parents. Her excuse was that she wanted to drink, though the reality was she never got drunk in front of their parents, no matter how much she and Steve joked about wanting to do so. They always wanted to get blitzed, but getting drunk in front of Herr Peck and the Super's Inspector meant being harassed for days. And you just never, ever, got drunk at a fancy restaurant with reporters stalking your parents. They were Pecks. There were rules.

Still, public dinners out with the parents were infinitely better than the ones at home, which she'd managed to avoid most of, by picking up night shifts at the last minute. The public ones, however, she'd been caught and dragged into, and that meant at least one person stopping by the table to interrupt parental harassment. This one she'd hoped would be where she could introduce them to Holly in a way that would prevent a public scandal. Not so much.

"That wasn't so bad," Steve muttered, buckling in. Gail ignored him and turned her face to the street, watching the valet go to get the next car. They pulled out and, in a moment, hit the empty streets. "You gonna do this all night?"

He meant the silent treatment, probably. "What do you want me to say?"

The dinner wasn't an unmitigated disaster, not even according to Peck standards, which were really low. Judgmental comments from her father about the haircut notwithstanding, he'd kept his opinions of Gail's sexuality to a minimum. Steve had muttered that the table for six had been a low blow. Both of the siblings had Peck'ed it up to the best of their Peckish ability. As Nick had put it, the Pale Fails.

"I don't know," sighed Steve. "I was kind of expecting you to yell at me."

"I'm not mad at _you_." She side-glanced at Steve and caught him smiling. It was not without notice that Steve took the long, slow, way back to Gail's apartment. He wanted to talk. "I miss Holly," Gail finally allowed.

Steve turned to look at her for a moment. "I miss Traci."

"Please, it hasn't even been a month." She, on the other hand, was on week seven of the outs, and now the done and gones. "Holly's seeing someone else." Like everyone else in her life, Holly had moved on fast. Gail Peck was really not girlfriend material, thank you very much, Nicholas.

Steve glanced at her, "I'm sorry... You didn't say that before." He sighed, "I'm just saying, sister. If I feel a tiny bit like you feel? I feel you."

Gail snorted and then laughed. Steve chuckled. Within a minute, they were both laughing. "That was the dorkiest thing you've said in hours, Steve," she informed him, smiling for the first time since dinner started.

"Oh, really? You're the one who said 'I'm a lesbian. Steve, please pass the salt.' I mean, come on!" He smirked and stopped at the red light.

"I said please," muttered Gail, and Steve laughed.

"The face Mother made was great." Steve puckered his face up in an approximation of annoyance.

"And then there was _Dad_," she muttered.

Steve winced, "He'll get over it. I mean, Mom's okay, so he'll have to be. The Super's Inspector, and all." They both knew their mother ruled supreme in that relationship, though Gail was starting to think this would not be that simple.

"I should have brought Nick, he would have been their target." Her parents still hated him, though. Twice over. Not that she'd told them the details about the second time, but she'd certainly gotten stern looks from her family for even considering a second round with the idiot. He wasn't Peck Material, her mother said.

"That's mean. You're not mean anymore."

"Am to!"

"You helped a total stranger, Gail! And you said it felt good! You're all soft and gooshy and—" Gail wound up and punched her brother's arm. Hard. "OW!" Steve stared at her as the light turned green.

The car behind them honked, and he blinked. "Steve, green means go."

"When the hell did you learn to throw a punch?"

"I'm a _cop_, Steve!"

"The laziest one in existence, too," he noted.

Gail slouched in the seat. "Well. I've been working out, okay? It's that or listen to Dov and Chloe. Or Chris."

After a moment, Steve asked, "Sleeping okay?" She snorted. "If you want to talk about it…"

"I really don't, Steve." Gail looked away again, watching the street flow past.

He'd been away when she'd been abducted. When he got back, he tried to talk about it, but Gail had yelled at him. Then, after one night without any sleep, all alone in their suburban hellhole of a house, she'd shown up on his doorstep at three AM, asking to sleep on his couch. Steve was safe, after all. And he knew, he totally knew it was crap comfort they got from their parents.

Pecks, after all, didn't have anyone to talk to about these things. She couldn't talk to their parents, they wouldn't hear about it, or worse, they'd just tell her to suck it up. Steve, maybe, but he wasn't there at the time, and now it was just too hard to talk about at all. Except for one session with her therapist, Gail had found she just wasn't physically able to talk about it, not even drunk out of her mind. Her throat would close down, her heart would race, and once she even puked.

That one she blamed on the alcohol.

Her current therapist told her that she may never fully get over it, which was just peachy, and something she'd already sorted out. There was even an ugly, painful term for what was going on in her head, with the sleeping and the dreams and the days where it all hurt and she lashed out, angry and bitter and cynical. Post traumatic stress disorder. And there was no real cure.

At least now she could talk around it, tell people to shut up, and move on. It was better than the time she'd thrown a book at Oliver. He was seeing the same therapist she was, and doing much better than she was, which was galling. But then again … Oliver was off the streets now. She wondered if he'd ever be back.

"You gonna take the detective's exam?"

Gail glared at his reflection, "Go screw yourself, Steve."

He sighed. "Fine. Here you go, home sweet, stinky, home." Steve pulled up to the sidewalk and studied his sister's face.

"Steve," she sighed. "Can we just not go next time?"

"If you don't go, I don't go," he agreed.

Gail nodded and got out of the car. Of course Steve didn't drive off right away and she turned around to look at him. _Thank you_, she signed at him. It was easier this way.

_You're welcome_, he signed back, and then held up his fingers in a well understood formation. _I love you._

"Shut up, asshole," smiled Gail, and she went home alone.

* * *

She wasn't supposed to hear the conversation. She was supposed to be working on her immigration papers. But the voice was so familiar it kept pulling at her,

"Look, Gail, I'm sure Dad will settle down..." Gail? Holly peeked around the corner. A tallish man with strawberry blond hair was at the far, far end of the hall, talking on the phone. "Just be happy Mom isn't starting up blind dates again." Blind dates. Gail. Steve, right. She'd only met him twice, maybe three times, and he didn't look that much like his sister. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. _Now_ he looked like Gail. They shared mannerisms when frustrated. "You know that isn't what she meant."

Steve fell silent for a long while, and Holly suspected Gail was ripping into her brother. "I _am_ glad you came to the dinner, Garbage Pail," he said softly. "I don't think so, no. I just thought- _Mom_ thought that coming to dinner at the club meant you'd come to dinner at home." There was another long silence. "Hah, no, if you don't go, there's no way in hell I'm going. I told you that in the car." He laughed softly, "I love you too, sister dear."

Steve Peck tapped his phone and frowned. He dialed another number. "Hi, this is Detective Peck. Is the Superintendent in? Yes, I'll hold." He rocked on his feet and waited, about as patiently as his sister ever did, which is to say not at all. "Hi, Mom. She's not coming." He sucked in his breath. "I know... Yes, Oliver talked to her... Why me? Come on, she told me to screw myself, Mom." He huffed, sounding just like Gail. "Because she's gotta get it out of her system!"

When Steve started to turn, Holly tried to duck and hide in her lab. Nope, not eavesdropping! "That's not what I meant. Being a lesbian isn't another phase, Mom." Footsteps paced the corridor. "No. That's ... Mom, she's not going to be you. Or Dad, or Uncle Al or Gary, or anyone but herself. That's why you've gotta let her be. She's a great cop." He sounded angry. "See? This is why neither of us want to come over for dinner anymore, Mom. At least in public you have to be _Superintendent_ Peck, and worry about the news. Look, I'm working on a case, so you'll just have to entertain without your pet monkeys. I have to go." There was a beep and an annoyed growl.

"Damn it," he snapped loudly. Then he was silent for quite a while before knocking on Holly's door. "Hey, Dr. Stewart." Steve's affable smile seemed stretched.

"Hello, Detective Peck." She returned the smile a little uneasily. But all he wanted to talk about was the case, which was a relief. As he turned to go she felt guilty. "Ah, Steve. You should know... The hallway? Excellent acoustics."

Steve tilted his head and smiled tiredly. "I know."

And he left, leaving Holly to wonder what the hell that meant.

* * *

When the call came in the middle of the night, Gail had almost forgotten it was a possibility. "Peck," she mumbled into the phone.

"Can you come over?"

Gail's eyes snapped open as the voice registered with her brain, though she checked caller ID first. "Yes. On my way." She hung up and stumbled out of bed, not caring about the noise. Pants, shirt, hat, coat.

As she was pulling on her boots by the door, a cranky Dov opened his bedroom door. "Gail, what's going on?"

Things in the house were still tense. Chris was away at rehab, which Gail felt guilty for not having noticed but also for not going to visit him. But then again, Chris didn't want to see her, so she concerned herself with cleaning his room. "I gotta go, it's a ... thing." She didn't bother to tie her boots and tugged her watch cap on. "Don't freak, okay?"

Dov stood in the doorway to his room, clad only in boxers. "Freak?" He yawned. "Gail it's one."

She sighed. "Getting up early is good for you. Aren't you on night shift tomorrow?" Gail grabbed her keys off the peg.

But Dov hesitated. "Did you... Have a nightmare?"

The walls in the apartment were too thin. Gail normally was quiet when she had a bad dream, or a flashback, but sometimes she knocked things off her dresser. And it was no good telling them she was a restless sleeper, because Chris knew better. "No, but I will if I have to look at you in your underwear any longer." She smirked and bounced out the door.

The drive wasn't too terribly long, but Gail kept checking her phone for another call or text. She pulled up to the curb, not really worrying if she parked illegally, and tried to keep her volume down as she knocked on the door.

One knock, the door opened, and a strained Celery was there. "He's in the dining room."

Gail nodded and went right in. She didn't see Oliver at first, but then saw his feet. For whatever reason, he was sitting on the floor, hugging a photo of his kids. At least he wasn't drunk. Gail sat down beside him. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he repeated.

They sat in silence for a while. "So. Holly is seeing someone," she informed him. "And I helped someone move. I also told my parents I'm a lesbian."

Oliver puffed a laugh. "One step past dating a woman. What did your mother say?"

"She didn't. She just looked like the wine had turned." It had been a great expression. Gail mimicked it for Oliver, who smiled weakly. "My father, on the other hand, informed me I was being a petulant child."

"Only I get to call you petulant, Peck," remarked Oliver, almost reflexively.

"That was the first thing you called me."

He looked at her softly, as if she was one of his daughters. "No. No, I remember this. I called you a delinquent and a car thief. And then you handed over your license. I thought I was going to piss myself."

"Pleasant," sneered Gail, but she wasn't mad. "Steve was such an ass."

"You took his car."

"I borrowed it!" They shared a smile. "Anyway, he didn't press charges, thanks to you." The fact that Oliver (and Steve, technically) was the only officer involved was the only reason Gail didn't have an arrest on her record. She'd actually been resigned to fact that she was about to disappoint her mother, again.

"I was more scared about your mother than what my first, stupid, rookie was going to do to his sister."

"_Everyone_ is more scared of my mother."

"You're not." It wasn't true. Gail was terrified of her mother. He sighed and turned the photo to Gail. "What if he'd taken Izzy?"

"He'd have given her right back and turned himself in," Gail replied, snidely. Oliver cracked a smile. "Or we'd have done the same thing and gotten her back. Just like we got you."

"We almost didn't get you, darling." Oliver's voice shook. "It was dumb luck."

"But you _did_. And we got you. And you're safe, and Swarek's cheerfully making up with McNally so that's fine." The princess had worn the stupidest expression on her face all day, too.

Oliver stared at Gail. "I got scared," he whispered. "I woke up and I was scared about the streets, and then I ... Was relieved. I don't have to go out there again." Oliver's face drew pinched. "How can I be a cop, and protect people? I can't even protect Andy from herself."

To his credit, Oliver did not blurt the details Gail already knew about Gerald (Duncan, whatever) and Andy. She knew about the cover up. She knew about the deal, keeping Oliver in a white shirt. Her godfather had pulled her aside to ask her to not protect Duncan, which was the weirdest favor ever. But he wanted her to treat Duncan normally. Which probably meant she was going to be his new T.O. since McNally was such a fuck up.

"Oliver, the whole damn city can't do _that_. Andy's better at self-sabotage than I am!" Gail made a 'kaboom' sound and won a smile from her sergeant. "Cops get scared too, Ollie."

"Don't call me Ollie," he replied, putting the photo down. "I hate that nickname." Then he studied Gail's face. "How did you do it? Go back out there?"

She sighed. "Because. I hate people. But I hate losers and people who hurt people most of all. And... I can stop them. I like that."

"You just want to be the only mean person. But I'm on to you, Peck. You're secretly nice."

"Ice, Oliver. I'm an ice queen and a terrible girlfriend."

"And a good friend."

"If you tell anyone, I will use my connections to have you transferred to the RMCP."

Oliver whinged, "I hate horses." They smiled and he threw an arm around her shoulder. "Thank you." She didn't reply but leaned in so he could hug her. He needed it. "You're a jerk, but you're a nice jerk."

"That's a shitty compliment, Oliver," she laughed.

He sighed, "Izzy said she's sorry for messing you and Holly up."

Gail side-eyed Oliver and frowned, "Oliver, there's only one person who screwed up me and Holly, and you're hugging her."

With a thoughtful sound, Oliver let go. "You wanna sleep over?"

It was easy for Gail to translate that, and she nodded. Oliver wanted another cop around. "Sure. The couch looks fine."

"I have a guest room," he scoffed, and got to his feet.

"Fine, but we're having coffee and none of this tea crap in the morning." Gail took Oliver's hand and stood up. "And tell your girlfriend not to hug me."

* * *

"I'm just shocked Peck didn't punch him." It was a voice Holly recognized, and she glanced down the hall at Detective Swarek.

A female officer stood next to him and shook her head, "She's getting soft."

"Maybe she's growing up, Andy," laughed the Detective. "Just because you guys don't understand her sense of humor... Do me a favor and get the evidence report? I'm gonna call Nash." Swarek walked down the hall and Andy turned to face Holly.

"Oh. Dr. Stewart!" She looked confused and awkward.

"The acoustics," sighed Holly. "I never mean to eavesdrop, but I think they designed this place so we'd never be surprised by an invasion." She saw Andy (McNally, per the name tag) freeze and her face closed. Swarek. McNally. Invasion. Holly kicked herself mentally, wishing she'd paid more attention. Not that Gail had ever talked about the incident much. It seemed to be a sticking point. One of many that had driven wedges between them.

But McNally recovered. "Do you have the reports on the drowning?"

"You mean the body dumped in the lake? Yes." Holly smirked as McNally's eyes went wide. "Would you thank whichever officer controlled the scene? Getting the samples that fast, with that much detail, helped immeasurably."

"Sure, but don't expect her to be all excited about it," replied McNally, absently. "I don't think Gail's been _happy_ in months."

Hearing Gail's name sucked the breath out of her. "Officer Peck?" Holly pulled the last paper from the printer and tucked it in the folder.

The officer gave her a strange look. "Yeah. She's stuck with the rookie, Moore, and he took a lot of wrangling." McNally looked guilty. "And since I'm not allowed to stay at the scene with him, I'm here ... Gail asked me something about diatoms?"

Of all the damnedest things, Holly blushed. "Diatoms in the water and bones. The body wasn't in the water long enough for that. But the water in the lungs wasn't inhaled. Your victim died of anaphylactic shock, source yet unknown. We're still running that."

McNally squinted at the body. "That's what Gail said. Petechial ... Something. She was right? Crap, she's totally going for detective," sighed the officer.

"Oh?" Holy tried to pitch her voice innocently. Gail was going to be a detective? That might make her proposal harder. Would she even consider it in the first place? Gail was Toronto Police Royalty.

"Yeah... Do you know her? Gail I mean."

"We've met," Holly said, a little dryly, and that got a smirk from McNally. Clearly she had no idea about the nature of Gail and Holly's past relationship.

"We used to be friends. And then stuff happened and more stuff." McNally paused and studied Holly's face for a moment. In that look, Holly remembered seeing the woman once before at the hospital. This was Andy McNally who slept with Nick. "Anyway, Gail's been ... Weird. Even for Gail. Like she's changing. Sam thinks she's growing up. Maybe she's just becoming a Peck. Go be a detective, then an officer, then Chief of Police."

McNally sounded both offended and jealous, which Holly found amusing. "And you?" She didn't know why she was asking, but it was comforting to hear that Gail had been doing alright. What Holly really wanted to know was if Gail was single, and she couldn't ask that.

"I just flunked as a T.O. so ... Beat cop forever, just like my old man." McNally paused. "God, sorry, I'm dumping my crap on a stranger. Case?"

Holly pursed her lips. "Well. Officer Peck was right. Your victim was a body dump. The body started on manicured grass, colored. The chemicals were familiar, so I ran them and they matched what the Blue Jays and other professional fields use."

McNally looked at the report as if she could make sense of this. "Gail's going to be so pissed when Sam tells her she has to check out every baseball and softball stadium in the area."

Holly couldn't help but smile a little. It would, indeed, be very annoying for Gail.

When she got home, Holly started to tackle the personal paperwork and breaking the news to her friends. Lisa was pissed, predictably, and Rachel was upset they didn't talk first. They both blamed the 'Peck Fiasco' for Holly's decision to cut and run out of Toronto, and Holly couldn't really refute it. She still had feelings for Gail, Holly knew that.

Scratch that. She had more than feelings. Gail had uprooted her, given her a glimpse of a future with someone who was an equal in many ways. Gail's feelings for her were strangely unconditional. They never put a label on their relationship, which retrospectively seemed to be a bad idea. Maybe she should have put a label on it, told Gail that she was falling for her, that she was more than just fun.

But that would require being able to define what Gail was to her, and Holly didn't know. She did know there was an ache, a hole in her chest, where there was no Gail. Holly missed the little things, like Gail's grumpy expression in the early mornings, and the sweet looks in the day when they stole time for themselves. She missed jokes about the courier being sick when Gail brought her coffee. She missed hearing Gail berate people for being idiots.

Be honest. She missed Gail, and was starting to think this was the stupidest choice she'd ever made. But there was the job offer. A future for herself. And she was seriously doubting it was the right one. But she'd have to try and ask... She had to.

* * *

_Welcome back, everyone! Yes, they're still broken up. They will get back together. We just need to sort things out. Next up? Peck and Moore. Dear god._

_Yes 5x11 is in this fic, but there's more time between 9 and 10 to make room for a case. Just remember, Golly is my OTP and I have a plan. This plan will make you angry. It makes me angry. You won't be angry at Gail and Holly, if I do this right._


	12. Confessions and Complications

_**Author's Note:** Duncan came back earlier, because the idea of grumpy Gail sans Holly having to be a TO to him was too much to give up. Of course, drama is also entertaining. This chapter ends in a place where I get a little wet-eyed when I re-read it, so I'm sorry if I punch you all in the feels._

* * *

Sports reminded her of Holly, which did not help her mood with Gerald in the slightest. Him, she wanted to kill. Holly, she just didn't want to think about for eight hours, if possible, and if she was lucky, she could stop dreaming about her too. If she thought about Holly, she'd think about trying to apologize, for real, and maybe some grand romantic gesture to win her back. Or figure out who she was dating and arrest her... That wouldn't go over well either. Better to just work, run, and try to sleep without sex dreams about her ex.

"What's next on the list," she asked Gerald. No answer. Gail looked over and saw he was on his phone. Again. Without warning, she reached over, took the phone, and shoved it in her pocket. "If you touch me, I will break your arm," she growled at him.

Gerald (yes, fine, Duncan) complained, "I was tweeting!" He didn't attempt to get his phone back, however.

"Not. At. Work." Gail bit off every word. "God damn it, this is why you're in trouble to start with. You're not good enough to play on your phone _and_ watch the streets." Gail knew she was, but she'd also been practicing that for years. Her parents bought her the GameBoy she'd wanted, but she could only keep it if, after a three hour car drive, she passed their idiotic tests. "How many cars with out of province plates did we pass since leaving the station?"

"What?" Duncan stared at her and she repeated the question. "Come on," he whinged. "No one knows that."

"I counted fifteen on Queens Quay. And I'm driving, _Gerald_." She fixed him with a glare. "Where are we going now?" She pointed at the paper and he read the address. St. Clements. Awesome. "This is an all girls school, Gerald. You are not to look, ogle, stare at, or even remotely ponder them. They are off limits."

The rookie grumbled, "What about for you?"

Was that a lesbian dig? He was going to be hurt. "Do you _want_ to fail?" She hated this job, she didn't want to be his nanny. But Oliver and Uncle Al pointed out, rightly, her name was going to protect her from anything the idiot did. She could, freely and clearly, give her opinion and review on him, without fear of retribution.

"No," he whispered.

"Do you want to be a cop?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

God. He was doing this because it was expected of him, just like she did. Except Gail had a complex about failure, and stupid Duncan didn't care. She sighed. "No one likes you, Duncan," she said, intentionally using his real name. "No one likes me either, but I'm a good cop, and they would go to the line for me. _You_, on the other hand, are an embarrassment." She turned into the parking lot for the school. "I have zero interest in being T.O. to an embarrassment, so you are going to learn what you should have in the academy. I'm not your friend, I'm not your confidant. I'm your teacher, and you will not flunk this class, or so help me, I'll shoot you myself. Are we clear?"

Agape, Duncan stared at her. "Yes... Ma'am. Yes, ma'am."

Gail stopped the car and continued, "Since no on else wants your crap to touch their careers, and I'm the only person who doesn't have to worry about your step-father, I'm your training officer until further notice. You don't touch anything in the car until I tell you to. You don't write anything down in your memo book until I tell you to. You don't talk to other people, you look at me first. You do not tweet, text, Facebook, Instagram, FourSquare, Yo, or any other social media bull while we are on the job until I tell you to, and if you even consider telling people about our cases after shift, I have a cousin in the DA's office who would love to hear that. You do as I "say" not as I "do" and never question that." She paused, and knew this was where Oliver got nice and made a connection of friendship with the rookies. But Gail was not nice. "My job is to keep _them_ safe," she pointed at the people walking around. "And to keep you safe. Which means if I keep your phone hostage all day because it's safer, then you suck it up. Can you do this?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Get out of the car." She flipped on the stupid body camera. "Officers Peck and Moore, at St. Clements." She started down the walkway. "The DB was male, Moore. So why are we here?"

He didn't answer, and Gail checked to see if he was thinking or not. "Because. Forensics said the um, the grass matched?"

"The chemicals used on their softball field matched the ones found on the body. And how did we know that?"

"The, uh, the gardening crew." He hesitated, "How come we're not interviewing them? The grounds people?"

"Because that's an important interview and _you_ are not ready for the responsibility," she said flatly. "What do we want to look for here?"

"Someone who knows the victim!" He smiled, confident.

Good enough. The odds of that happening here was pretty slim, which was why she was here with Gerald in the first place. "Do you think it's a student?"

He looked lost at the question, "I guess. Anyone can poison, and it's a chick method-"

"Bzzzzzz! Wrong. Anyone and everyone poisons. More men use it to debilitate their victims." She rubbed her neck, an unwanted flashback. Push the thoughts back. She was a Peck. "This was anaphylaxis. Not poison." Off Duncan's blank look she elaborated. "He died of an allergic reaction."

"Oh. To ... What?"

"Spermicide." It was great to watch his face turn pink.

The interviews with the staff were brief and uninformative. Gail let Duncan try his hand at talking to the priest, trusting that the collar would keep him in check. It didn't, and after Duncan asked outright if Father Farr was sleeping with the dead kid, Gail cut in. "Okay, Officer Moore, that's enough." The priest looked relieved. "Shut up, sit down, listen, learn."

"Yes, ma'am."

Gail pushed her hair out of her face. "Sorry, Father, he's new. How's it been?"

The priest stared at her hair, then his eyes flicked to her name tag. "Officer Peck." He brightened. "You didn't come to the reunion."

"I told you I wasn't going."

"That was a decade ago, I thought you might have changed."

"Nope, still me." She handed him the photo again. "The reason my rookie was asking you awesomely awkward sex questions was the kid choked to death on spermicide." Father Farr's eyebrows rose up in surprise. "No DNA of course."

"You never believed testimony," mused the priest.

"You never bought mine," she retorted.

Smiling, regretfully, he handed the photo back. "I can give you my word. I don't recognize the boy." Gail watched his face, his eyes, and nodded. "Have you spoken with my younger teachers?"

The phrasing of the question was leading. "Not yet." She studied his face and then asked, "Who would you start with? If it was one of the girls." Seated beside them, Duncan twitched.

Father Farr, who never used three words of one would do, nodded slowly. "I would speak with Mr. Darthan _last_."

Gail pulled out her notes and looked at the name. The art teacher? Now her eyebrows rose. He wouldn't say the name if he didn't have a gut feeling. The gut was nice, but Gail needed evidence, even circumstantial. "Okay." She handed Father Farr a card. "You know the drill." He looked at the card and nodded.

As she led Duncan down the hall, he asked, "You know him?"

"I went here." She paused and looked at the girls leaving the art room.

"Didn't he say the art teacher would be last on his list?"

"He did," she replied. Her eyes sought a specific badge, and she tapped the shoulder of a short, grumpy, girl. Jerking her chin, Gail introduced herself, "I'm Officer Peck, this is Officer Moore. I wanted to ask you a question about your teachers."

The girl blinked. "Shouldn't I be called to the office?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry. I just had a question only the Arts Captain would be comfortable answering." Gail gestured at the badge, and the girl blushed. "Is Mr. Darthan the supervisor of the club?"

"Yes, since last year when Ms. Finch started retiring."

"She's still here?" Gail made a note to avoid her.

The girl rolled her eyes. "I know. She's a billion."

"She was a billion when I went here," confided Gail, and won a smile. "How's the new guy?"

"Oh, he's fine. He's a good teacher, but he's weird."

"Weird how?"

"You know how the guy teachers here are always ... Awkward?" Gail nodded encouragingly. "He's not. Not that way, I mean. And not how the priests are. He's just- he doesn't notice."

Gail thanked the girl and let her go. "Rookie, call dispatch and have them run a check on a Mr. Brett Darthan." She pulled her phone out to call Swarek and tell him she had a lead.

* * *

At first, not knowing the end of a case bothered her. Over time, Holly accepted that sometimes she wasn't going to get the whole story, and it made her inevitable testimonies easier. With just over two weeks until she left, Holly started to wonder if she'd learn what became of Gail's non-drowning victim, and if she'd have to fly back for a trial later, when McNally showed up again. It was only two days later, and McNally toted all the evidence and papers, in lieu of the courier. Frankly, Holly was surprised.

"You caught him already?"

"Super Peck did," grumbled McNally. "She actually managed to get the rookie to do something _right_ too. Grown up having a fling with a kid, accidental death." McNally shook her head. "It's crazy, right? She's the laziest cop I know, but she's just being freakin' amazing. I don't know how she does it. If all that had happened to me, I'd be ..." McNally stopped and put the box on the table.

All that? Holly didn't ask and signed the chain of evidence paperwork. "I wonder why he didn't call 911," she wondered aloud. "I mean, he died of anaphylaxis, which means it took _hours_ to die, at best. You could drop him off at an ER." Holly realized she was rambling, and stopped, feeling awkward. She didn't really get people as well as everyone seemed to think. Awkward extrovert.

"He actually claims he called 911, and didn't dump the body at all."

Both women shared a look. "Okay, that's weird," decided Holly. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" At McNally's confused look, Holly pointed out, "We have a courier."

"Oliver. He said sending Gail here kept her out of trouble, and since I'm in trouble again, it's my turn." McNally stopped and stared at Holly, recognition finally dawning. "You're Gail's friend." Holly said nothing, but the surprise must have been evident on her face. "Now I remember! You picked her up from the ER."

"Oh. Yes." This was not going to be a good conversation. "We were friends." The past tense in the statement hurt. Still.

"You too? She's a hard person to like." McNally sighed. "I miss being able to talk to her, though. Did you sleep with her ex too?"

Holly was terribly grateful not to be drinking in that moment. "No."

"She'll never forgive me. At least I didn't screw up her last one. That was all her." McNally turned to go and stopped in the doorway. Her body froze and Holly imagined, if this was a cartoon, a lightbulb would go on over McNally's head. "Oh. Shit..." Pivoting she stared at Holly. "You and Gail... Oh oh my god I'm an idiot!"

In any other time or place, Holly might have found the late realization amusing, "I honestly thought all of you knew."

"Ugh, well it's not like Gail talks to me anymore. God, I'm so sorry, just rambling about her and you guys broke up." McNally sighed again, "She really liked you." Before Holly could point out that McNally didn't even know about her, the cop went on. "She was _nicer_ to everyone. Even me. And then three weeks ago she was back to Mean Gail, except she wasn't. She was, she _is_ different. Believe me, I saw her through two breakups. I know breakup Gail. She likes to get drunk and complain. This isn't that."

Holly sighed. "McNally. I'm sure you mean well, but this is not your business." No wonder Gail hated talking about life at work.

"Gail's still my friend," pointed out the other woman. "Even if I'm not hers. And I'm responsible for some of her issues and if that screwed you guys up, then yeah, it's my business too."

"This has nothing to do with you, or Nick."

The dark look on McNally's face chilled her. "No. It doesn't have to do with _Nick_ at all," she agreed. "Just... If she talks to you, please. Listen. Okay?"

Holly nodded, confused, and was relieved to see McNally let it go at that. But she was left wondering what crisis would cause an ex-friend to still care about Gail like family.

* * *

"This is just ... wow," muttered Holly, staring at her steering wheel.

"That is an understatement," sighed Gail. Silence fell again, and Gail couldn't look anywhere but out the front windshield.

After the mutual bomb drops, Gail and Holly had walked silently to Holly's car and said very little. Clearly, Holly was still processing, as the car didn't move and Gail finally cleared her throat. "Dinner?"

Holly startled and nodded. "Yes, dinner— Wait. Dinner?" She turned to look at Gail, perplexed. "You still want to have dinner? With me?"

Nodding, Gail leaned back in the seat. "Clearly we need to talk, Holly. About a lot of things." Whispering her agreement, Holly put the car in gear and drove to her house.

Years of Peck Family Dinners had prepared Gail for the painful awkwardness of a dinner were people were on different pages and stages of their lives. Clearly this was not the case for Holly, who nearly dropped the dishes multiple times, until Gail took over and served dinner.

"Why are you calm?" grumbled Holly. "This is insane. All of it's insane."

Gail tossed the truth around in her head a little before being honest, "I have spent my entire life having a dinner with passive aggressive harassment from my parents, Holly. I'm used to this kind of awkward." She caught the pained look from Holly and smiled a little. "Do you want me to start?"

Embarrassed, Holly nodded. "Yes. No," she said, contradictorily. "Did you listen to any of my messages?"

"All four of them," admitted Gail, willing to let Holly set the pace right here.

"Why didn't you call me back?" It was a nearly whinging tone. Pleading.

Bringing the pasta to the table, Gail chewed her lip. "Because I was sure you were going to hurt me again, like everyone else." She pushed her hair back. "It's funny," she laughed softly. "I was so afraid you were going to break my heart, I went and did it myself. And you know, I actually cared for the first time." Gail sat down. "It was stupid. I don't have an excuse."

Holly sat down across from Gail and picked up her fork. "Is that what you wanted to tell me before?"

"In the hall? No," admitted Gail. "I had this whole other thing in mind." Holly didn't say anything to that, and they took a couple bites. "San Francisco? Is that a lesbian mecca?"

The laugh nearly caused Holly to choke. "Portland or Provincetown, I think," she smiled. "It's for assistant chief pathologist. I was going to give you crap for springing the adoption thing on me, but I did the same thing." Holly poked her dish. "I over cooked the pasta."

"Little bit," agreed Gail. "Next time I'll make mac and cheese, with cheese puffs."

"That's a thing?"

"It's really good," smiled Gail. "And you accepted the job."

"I did."

Gail looked at her plate for a moment. So that was it. "I can't quit my job, Holly." She sighed and looked up at her, seriously. "Even if there wasn't Sophie, I can't leave."

"You could transfer," suggested Holly, thinly.

"Not in two weeks. Not to the US." She took another bite. "This, Toronto policing, is my birthright. I can't." It was hard to admit how invested she was in her job, but the truth was she was never going to leave Toronto alive. This was her life. It had taken nearly losing her job to realize how much it meant, how much she wanted this, and how much she had rested on her name.

Now Holly looked down at her plate. "I didn't realize how much I missed you until you said I was the best thing that ever happened to you."

Quietly, Gail replied, "You still are."

"What about long distance?" Holly chewed her lip and then shook her head.

"No. That isn't fair to either of us, Holly." Long distance nearly always ended poorly, and Gail knew one of them would end up mad at the other. They needed to be together to be together.

"This— Is this it?" Holly's voice cracked, as if she was about to cry.

They looked at each other across the table and Gail sighed. "If it wasn't, would you still want to try?"

Holly put her fork down. "Tell me about the adoption."

"Her name is Sophie." Sophie was hard to explain, but Holly listened seriously and thoughtfully. When Gail finally said she knew it would be probably impossible for her to adopt Sophie, but she still felt she had to try, Holly covered her face with her hands. "I know it's a lot to take in," Gail said quietly.

"Jesus, are you insane?"

That stung. "Because I'm a cop?"

"You're a cop, you're single, you're a _beat_ cop! Gail! If you die, she'll lose two mothers!"

"Yeah, I know," snapped Gail. "But a lot of single cops are parents." She was about to use Noelle as an example but she had Frank, and Gail wasn't sure which way that argument would go. "I'm ready to do this."

Holly groaned. "You'd be a great mom, Gail, but really? This is so you. Reckless."

"Seriously? You're acting like I have a monopoly on impulse."

A heartbeat passed and Holly blushed. "That was fair," she sighed. "I don't want children, Gail."

Gail nodded. "Then that's it." Her throat was tight, and she looked away. She wanted to yell at Holly, that asking her to do this was stupid, that the de facto ultimatum was stupid and reckless, and she knew she had no room to say it. Holly was moving and didn't want children. Finally, Gail took another bite of pasta and asked, "Are you going to sell this place?"

Holly almost dropped her glass. "Seriously? That's where you're going?"

Now Gail's fork went down. "I still want to be your friend, Holly. I care about you, and I'd be a really shitty plus one if I can't help you pack, and sell or rent or whatever." And it was true. She wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

Holly's look softened. "Oh. Thank you." After a moment, they picked up their forks again and resumed eating, talking about smaller things.

They talked about being stupid. Gail for running off, Holly for letting her friends get away with that behavior. It had apparently made Holly start to worry about her own social inabilities, her awkwardness of not being able to always read people (hence forensic pathologist and not living people doctor). Holly also explained _why_ her friends were family (it involved heartache and breakups and family who didn't always agree with choices).

And they talked about fears. Holly was afraid of the move, far away from friends and family. Gail was afraid of not being her parents to a child. It didn't heal the gaping hole Gail felt, knowing that it was, finally, over with Holly, but having her there at all was better than nothing.

It began the hardest two weeks of Gail's life, however. Ever day she spent with Holly, helping her pack and clean and sort out her life into boxes made Gail feel like she was falling apart. She told her therapist how hard it was, how much it hurt and cut into her. It was worse than the time she'd been shot in her vest. Breathing hurt. But she felt like she had to do this, to say goodbye, and to have closure.

Naturally her therapist pointed out there was a difference between closure and masochism, and Gail mumbled that she still cared for Holly. A lot.

"You're not going to magically change her mind and win her back," her therapist remarked.

"I know, life doesn't work that way. But I just ... I just want to be in her life a little while longer. I don't want the fairy tale to be over yet."

So she held on, kept her feelings to herself, and went running every goddamn morning to try and keep her head clear. That was probably why the nightmare scared the shit out of her. It came out of nowhere. She'd actually enjoyed dinner with Holly, sitting on her deck eating out of to-go boxes, drinking a beer. They were down to the last few bottles, and Holly insisted Gail take the last ones homes.

The last thing Gail really wanted was to have memories of Holly floating around her home. Especially not a six-pack from a microbrewery where they'd had a pulled pork pancake at brunch and then some fantastic sex back at Holly's months ago. But she took the six pack and, finding Chloe on her couch, waiting for Dov, handed it over as a present.

"Here, don't say I never gave you anything nice."

Gail locked herself in her small room, mind drained, and curled up on her bed. When Dov knocked to ask of she was alright, she told him to fuck off and she had a headache. That bought her blessed silence, in which she fell asleep.

Until then, most of her dreams had been about Holly, which was embarrassing and uncomfortable, but not horrible. When she dreamed about someone caressing her hair, however, it was long hair, and she panicked. She knew it was a dream, but she couldn't move, couldn't wake up, couldn't see. She felt the hand on her face, knew it wasn't real, that it wasn't now, and thrashed, throwing herself out of the dream and her bed with a thump.

Christ.

She lay on her floor, panting, waiting to hear if anyone would come knocking at her door. Would anyone just break in and pick her up. Holly had. Holly ran to her when she had a nightmare, and stayed with her to make sure she was alright. When no one came, Gail covered her face with her hands and smothered the encroaching tears. Would anyone would ever do what Holly did? Could she ever have anything like that again?

* * *

_Yeah, so that's depressing isn't it? Gail needs a hug. Sometimes there are obvious triggers to why you freak the hell out and sometimes you'll be walking down the street when it hits you and you want to scream or cry. Those are the worst._


	13. Denial Isn't Just a River

_Author's Note: Time to address things seriously. And let's be honest, you didn't really think I was going to write about a long distance relationship, did you? No, there are wheels at work here that no one will like._

_Speaking of... A lot of anon people are mad at me and think I've done unfixable things. I do appreciate that my writing evoked enough of a reaction for you to reply, even if it was angry. This is a drama Fic, not angst, and that's all I'll say._

* * *

"How can they deny my work visa," she shouted at her phone. "What the actual fuck!?" But the consulate couldn't tell her, no matter how many times she asked. They only said the Department of Homeland Security rejected her visa application, and she could apply again. In a year.

Holly stared at the boxes in her house, angry beyond her capacity to rage or cry. The San Francisco Coroner's Office had been sympathetic, and advocated for her, but it was clear no one was budging. Neither of her best friends had any sympathy either, which only made her more angry. She'd rushed into this, they argued, and maybe it was for the best. But here she was, three days from moving to a new country, with no job and no visa.

After screaming and shouting into her phone, to Lisa and Rachel, and then to immigration, trying desperately to get an answer, Holly turned it off and threw it down the hall. She tore through the boxes with the intent on finding that damn bottle of Jim Bean to start drinking. As she dug through yet another box labeled 'kitchen,' there was a knock at her door. No, a pounding. She ignored it. A voice muttered something. Giving up on her search, Holly lay down in her fort of half-filled boxes. Maybe they wouldn't be able see her.

The pounding happened again, this time with a voice she knew all too well. "Holly, I don't have a key."

"Go away," she shouted. Gail. Gail was outside her door. Why was Gail outside the door?

"Holly, seriously, open the door."

"No," she snapped and stared at her ceiling. "Go away, or I'm calling the police on you."

There was blissful silence for a moment, and then she heard her lock click open and the door creaked. "You're such a pain in the ass," muttered Gail, her voice clearly inside the house. "I had to pick your damn lock."

Holly sat up and looked for her phone. "I'm calling the police."

"I _am_ the police, you nerd," sighed Gail, dressed in her uniform. She looked at Holly for a moment, then the house, and turned around. "Dispatch, 8727," and her voice lowered, saying words Holly couldn't quite catch. Then her door closed and Gail walked around the boxes to sit down next to Holly. "Your neighbors thought you were being robbed."

"Oh." Holly leaned against a box. "I was looking for something to drink." They both looked around the room, which had a destruction of boxes. Gail had seen it two days before, helping pack the books.

"What happened?" Gail sounded like Gail at her most calm. It was rare, but those moments felt like a safe harbor, where Gail would protect her from anything, and Holly started crying. "Hey, hey," Gail startled and sat down, putting a hand on Holly's shoulder. "Holly, what's wrong?"

Between sobs, she managed a sentence. "The US rejected my visa application."

"What!?" The sheer honestly of Gail's astonishment was refreshing and comforting. "How the hell could that happen?"

Holly couldn't stop crying, though, and Gail ended up sweeping her into a hug and holding her until she stopped sobbing. "I'm getting snot all over your jacket," she whinged, squeezing Gail so hard, the utility belt bit into her side.

"It's had worse, Holly," Gail replied soothingly.

They stayed like that for a while, well past the time that Holly had her breathing under control. "I wish I was drunk," sighed Holly, resting her head against Gail's shoulder, letting herself savor the feeling of Gail caressing her hair.

Gail laughed softly, "I think we did this bit in reverse, Holly. You're not going to cut off your hair, are you?"

"No, I like my hair." There was no reply to that. "You have to go to work."

"I'm at work. Oliver asked if we were friends before sending me to check," sighed Gail. "Come up, get up." She stood, hauling Holly to her feet. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Sure," sighed Holly. "If there's alcohol in it."

"Hm, no. We tried that before, ba— Holly." The slip of an endearment caught Holly's attention and she blinked. "I'm going to order you food."

"Gail, I'm fine.

"Horse shit," smiled Gail. "You're not. I wouldn't be."

Gail ignored her protests and arranged for food to be delivered. She also found the Jim Bean and confiscated the bottle. They ate together, going over what had happened and Gail coming up with a plan of action. After a couple hours, Gail left with the booze, but came back rather quickly, out of uniform and with tequila.

The night was spent drinking, which was far less productive than earlier, but far more fun. They didn't talk about a single important thing, and Gail tucked drunk Holly into her own bed, alone, and said she was going to crash on the guest couch.

"You can stay," whispered Holly, catching Gail's hand.

Gail stared at the plug where the nightlight used to be. "Plus one forever, Holly. I'll be in the guest room." It hurt, and it hurt more when Holly heard the doorknob lock click. Staying or going, they really had ended a romance, hadn't they?

* * *

With Holly's life in disarray, Gail stuck by her to help sort out the mess. She pushed the ME's office to re-hire her, using all the Peck Muscle Power she had. It was a near thing, too. Gail had to resort to her cousin at the hospital faking an offer to make the ME's office realize Holly was in demand (the cost was babysitting and tickets to a Jay's game). Taking back the offer on the house had been harder. Luckily Holly had only intended to lease it out, but there was another tense moment until Gail did a deep background check on the tenants and found just cause to yank that.

When Holly called it an abuse of power, Gail didn't argue that one bit. It was terrifying, since the last time she'd tried to use her Peck name to push things around, she'd been suspended. Justified suspension, of course, but still, it filled her with lingering doubts of if she was doing the right thing. When she'd done it before, it was because she figured she could get away with it. This time, she realized she would do anything to help Holly.

She didn't abuse her power when it came to Sophie, though, who quickly became a regular topic. They talked about their days, and Gail would mention Sophie. Holly would even ask about her, joking she could help teach Sophie softball, since Gail was inept at sports. But they didn't talk about a them. At the same time, it was clear neither of them wanted someone else. It was just strange timing. Holly was still vocal about Gail adopting as a single parent being a terrible idea, which led to a loud argument about if Gail was doing this for selfish reasons or for Sophie.

They didn't get to resolve the disagreement themselves, any more than they'd resolved Holly's move to the States.

The adoption was rejected. Gail was deemed unready and currently unfit, due in part to trauma at her job. She was too close to Sophie's situation, she'd been suspended for poor decisions, and she was too damaged from Perik. Gail was flabbergasted not that Perik came up, but what part came up. The video evidence from the trial of the copycat killer. And not just the part where she got Perik to give up evidence. The entire video had been watched.

It always came back to Perik. Got suspended and nearly lost her job because of him, got it back because of him, got promoted because of him, got demoted because of him. Lost Nick because of him. Panicked and did stupid things and lost Holly. Everything seemed to revolve around one moment in her life.

All Gail wanted to do about that news was either get drunk or go shoot things. Instead she called Holly and asked if she could come over. Sitting on Holly couch that night, Gail talked around the edges of the problem, the obvious reasons why an under 30 beat cop would be turned down, and yes Holly was entirely right, including her living situation, and Holly had hugged her. When anyone else did that, Gail would flinch, but Holly felt safe.

Then Holly gave her a look, as if she wanted to kiss her, and Gail realized she had to do this. She _had_ to do this. If she ever wanted a hope, a second chance, it had to start here. "Holly, I need to tell you something else," she whispered.

"God, tell me you didn't sleep with Nick."

Inappropriate laughter bubbled up. "No, ew no. Never again." The 'ew' made Holly laugh, a little nervously.

Gail let go and sat still, clasping her hands together. Holly, cross-legged on the couch, faced her profile and waited.

It was easier to talk like this, quietly, even in what Dov would have called the 'enemy territory' of Holly's house. She had known in her heart that actually adopting Sophie was never going to be possible. As a single, lesbian, cop, she'd have an uphill battle. But that hope, like the hope of Holly being back in her life, burned so strong, that she'd dared to dream. She could, and would, still advocate for her to have a good home, and even if she couldn't be the parent, she wanted to be part of her life in a positive way. Holly had, weirdly, understood that. Sympathized with it. Pretty much everything in Gail's life, screwups and all, Holly had understood.

Would she really understand everything? Gail chewed her lip, worrying it.

"What else are you thinking?" Holly's voice was a whisper, as if being loud would knock them out of the place where they could just exist.

"I need to say something," she replied equally quietly. But the words hung there in her throat. Again.

Holly touched her leg, "You don't have to, honey."

"No. No, I do. I'm just- I'm afraid." There. Hurdle one passed, and Gail exhaled shakily. It was hard to get words out, always. She couldn't tell Steve. She could barely tell her therapist that she'd picked. She'd not been able to tell the idiot her parents made her see, and sure as hell she couldn't tell her parents. Lying to them had been hard, but easier than the truth.

"Take all the time you need."

Of course. Because Holly understood her. That was why this _had_ to happen.

"Holly, I'm scared pretty much all the time, and... The real reason I can't adopt Sophie is why I'm scared all the time."

She had to say this now. If she didn't, she'd never get the words out. She couldn't look at Holly while she said this. "About a year and a half ago, I was working on a case. This serial killer went after call girls, so McNally and I were call girls! He went for blondes, so I was the bait and Andy was my backup." She laughed, bitterly, and stared at the wall, the boxes on the floor. "I wanted to, y'know, because I'm a Peck, and we have to do that." A far too familiar tension grew in her back and neck. Her hands weren't shaking, which was a good sign, though her heart was pounding.

"So I was undercover, at a fancy hotel, looking for this guy. Didn't find him. I went home after giving my statement. Andy's home. My parents weren't home, and … I forget why I thought it was a good idea." She was friends with Andy then. How weird had that been? But she'd let down those walls a little, let them in, and Chris and Dov, and it hadn't all been horrible. Right? She remembered Andy's horror when Gail walked, naked, from the shower to the couch where her clothes were. That had been funny. "He followed me. Turned out it was the taxi driver, the taxi Andy put me in to send me home."

With her eyes wide open, Gail's brain cheerfully filled in the moments with memory. Calling Nick. The door hitting her face. Stupid, stupid, Gail, not looking first! Fighting him. Hitting him. Her throat tightened, remembering his hands around it, and she tugged at her shirt collar. She remembered how hard it was, putting her tie on for the first time afterwards, using every excuse not to wear one. "He beat the hell out of me. Drugged me and Andy. I don't remember that either, Andy coming back."

Her face felt wet and the taste of salt was on her lips. Awesome. She was crying on the couch of her ex-girlfriend. There was a sound, Holly inhaling, and Gail waited a moment, to see if Holly was going to say something, but there was only the sound of them breathing. "He tied me up." She rubbed her wrists, feeling the bite of the zip-ties all over again. "When I woke up, I was tied up. Blindfolded." She felt Holly move beside her, but they didn't touch.

She wiped at her face, the back of her brain amazed at her continual ability to cry without sobbing. Her hand was now shaking and her tightened it into a fist. She had to concentrate on her breathing for a moment. The memory in her head was when he'd put the butterfly sutures on her head. That was the most terrifying moment. Realizing he wanted her _alive_ for a reason. Realizing how prepared he'd been. If she'd just looked… Except that wasn't true. Gail was able to kick a door in, and she wasn't that strong. A man that strong wouldn't have a problem.

Gail tried to mention the IV, but her voice stopped. That memory hurt too much, still. She was lucky she didn't lose her mind at the ER after the stupid chemical burn, but that was probably because Oxy had a weird effect on her. Reflexively, she rubbed at the spot on her arm where he'd stuck her and remembered being sarcastic to her kidnapper. That helped. "I was in his house, his basement, strapped to a table. He kept me drugged, until he figured out I was a cop."

There was a shift on the couch but again, Holly didn't touch Gail. She was just there. "Jerry, he found me. Good police work, total coincidence. They were looking for someone _following_ me." Gail exhaled. "God, nobody knows what happened really. Just that Jerry got stabbed. Perik, he came downstairs, with the knife, started yelling that I didn't tell him I was a cop. Asking why didn't I tell him? Shouting that was taking care of me." She coughed an un-funny laugh.

Take all the pain and drama of her life, take all the lack of parental influence on her, and add in someone wanting to take care of her who actually wanted to kill her. Of course she kept burning relationships. Every single person in her life who'd wanted to take care of her had hurt her. "Jerry, I don't know how he did it, but he jumped him, put his phone in his pocket. I couldn't move… he'd, Perik'd removed the blindfold so I could see to walk, but the drugs... My legs weren't working. He knocked Jerry out and put me in the trunk of his cab."

The taxi ride from hell. Knowing no one alive knew where you were. By the time the fog of drugs wore off, helped by adrenaline and terror, she could hear the sirens and knew she'd either be killed or saved. She remembered the cab stopping. That moment of terror, trying to rip her hands off to free them from the zip ties, planning to gouge his eyes out. And then she heard Nick and Chris, the trunk opened, the light burst in and her boys were there. They tried to hug her, and she remembered saying she was just cold.

She didn't have to tell Holly she was rescued. She was here. Obviously she was saved. But that last smile from Perik, when he was being cuffed, that smirk was the one thing that made her want to cry. They took her to the hospital. The hospital sucked. Crying in front of Traci, knowing Jerry was dead because he'd come for her, because he put the phone in Perik's pocket. "It wasn't my fault, that Jerry died. But it was. I'm accidentally the reason someone died." Now Holly's legs moved, turning to sit beside Gail, their shoulders nearly touching. "I know it's not my fault, I do. I know it. But…"

"I moved in with Dov almost on accident. After the hospital, I stayed with my parents by force, but I couch surfed a lot. My brother's. Nick's. When he and Andy went undercover, I spent most of the time with Traci, crashing at her place. Nick was gone, six months. I thought I got over my shit, you know? I thought I was feeling better. Then Nick was back and it was all screwed up." She sighed. "When Chris left for Timmons, Dov complained about being lonely so I took the room. Nick wanted me to move in with him, but that felt like the worst idea ever. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want to be with someone that _close_."

"I slept with a light on then. I still do. I don't do well when I'm alone at night. Sometimes I drink too much, which doesn't help either." Her voice felt thick. All the crying was making her head pound worse than a hangover. "And … I don't trust people. So I run away, and I'm cold and unfeeling, because if I'm just going to get hurt, why invest, right?" She paused, "Except there was you."

Now she side-glanced at Holly. Holly didn't say anything, but leaned so her head was touching Gail's shoulder, which felt okay. "And that's kind of- it's why I was stupid. Am stupid." She sighed. "And have nightmares, and I'm afraid of the dark." Holly made a noise, and Gail went on. "The problem ... Is the trials. I mean, I think I can deal with all the rest, but there was a case where we had to talk to Perik, and it was taped, and ... It's not _bad_ except for the part where it just shows how screwed up I am." She closed her eyes. "They saw the whole interview. It's rough and it's hard, and it's not a wrong decision, but ... I wanted you to know why."

She felt entirely naked. There it was out there. And now Holly was silent.

Holly cleared her throat. "Thank you for telling me." They said nothing for a while, though Holly took her hand. It was clear she was trying to think about what to do with Gail. "Stay here tonight," Holly finally said.

They spent the night like that, holding hands in Holly's bed. They were fully clothed, lying atop the sheets, their bodies barely touching. And it was enough.

* * *

Things were 'normal' again for Holly. She was back at work and in her groove again, which felt wonderful and horrible all at once. Having Gail back in her life had been a relief, but strange.

She'd cried at home after Gail's first admitting to having strong feelings for her, raging at stupidity. Mostly Gail's immaturity, but also her own. She could have forced it, shown up and demanded answers, but Holly too had felt guilty. It was stupid to have let her friends goad her, stupider not to follow Gail out sooner. Stupid to have actually felt, for any moment at all, that she could possibly do casual, easy, or light with someone who struck her heart as Gail had.

Then Holly had been the insane one, deciding to move out of the country and beg Gail to come with her. At the same time, Gail moved forward to adoption. And both had lost everything.

Where did that leave them now? Gail had been nothing but a good friend since their mutual bomb drop. She'd helped Holly pack, pick out a new apartment, sort out incidentals. And then she'd done it all in reverse, without asking for a single thing. She'd just done it and been there and it was wonderful to have Gail in her life again. Gail had actually been supportive, unlike Lisa or Rachel, both of whom were barely talking to her at all.

The problem was that Holly didn't want to have Gail in her life as a _friend_. She'd already worked through the drama of how terrifying it was to be in love with someone like Gail. Given a choice, she wouldn't have fallen for someone who was damaged goods to start with and had a dangerous job. She'd never dated anyone who was shot at before and it scared her. But she couldn't imagine her world without Gail making snappy commentary, or kissing her, and Gail's life was filled with danger.

She was in love with that wonderful, sweet, vulnerable woman, who opened up to her. Gail made her laugh, made her happy, and above all, Gail had really made Holly feel important. Adored. Holly had called her 'sweet Gail' once, and the blush on Gail's body was amazing. She was caustic and witty, and certainly Gail's default setting was to attack the world. At the same time, Holly had caught Gail working with a child witness, and that absolute tenderness with the young boy was painful.

It had been at a minimart hold up. They'd found the boy hiding in shelves behind the dead body, who was clearly protecting him, only after forensics had arrived. Gail had looked daggers at the rookie, but instead of ripping in to him, she sat down by the boy, who refused to get out from behind the mac'n'cheese. She talked to him, quietly, introducing herself, asking little things that made not a lot of sense. Holly was sure the boy was never coming out, when suddenly he squirmed out and into Gail's arms.

Without a trace of discomfort or annoyance, Gail held him and let him cry until child protective services showed up with his parents. Only then did she ask him anything about the shooting. He didn't know who the dead person was, just some stranger at the store. But he had seen the shooter, and described him. Once the boy was gone, Gail tore the rookie a new one, shouting about what clearing the scene meant, and that he could have put forensics in danger.

That was only two days ago, and it had been the first case they'd worked since Holly was back. Before Gail left the scene with the boy, Holly had asked her if she was okay. Gail had given her a momentary sad smile, before returning to tough cop mode and saying she was fine, but she had to kill her rookie. That night, on the phone, Gail told her she worried about Sophie, but she didn't want to come over to sit with Holly, she just needed to talk to her friend about what she could do.

What Holly wanted was what she'd wanted since she'd gotten the job offer. She wanted them to be back together. And she'd thought Gail wanted that too, which was making this weird now-ness so weird. What she needed to do was just ask Gail where she wanted to be, and asking that was hard. It should be easy, natural, like everything else with Gail had been.

Holly pushed her glasses up to her forehead and pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. She tried to think through what she needed to do at work instead of her personal life, though. It wasn't going to be a good idea to slack off just because she was trying to sort out the right way to tell Gail she wanted to get back together together.

Of course that's when Gail texted her.

_I'm coming by with some smelly evidence._

It was impossible not to smile a little. Holly had no problem thumbing a reply. This was easy.

_Thanks for the warning._

_Only fair to give you a chance to fob me off on someone else._

Oh the layers in that statement.

_Why? How smelly are we taking?_

It was just so easy to talk to Gail. Everything with Gail had been surprisingly natural. Why couldn't it all be easy like that?

_Hard to say. I'm nose blind_

Holly thought about that for a moment.

_Officer Peck, are YOU evidence?_

The reply of a sad-face emoticon made Holly laugh. She tasked her assistant to get some scrubs for an incoming officer, and went to prep a place for Gail to change. When Gail and an officer named Price walked in, Holly tried not to laugh. Gail looked exactly like she expected, angry and sullen and frustrated. Officer Price was bubbly and telling Gail how much she liked being back at work. They both had on tyvek suits from forensics over their uniforms.

It was easy to read Gail's expression. She wanted to kill her fellow officer.

"Is that Holly?" asked the other officer in a hushed tone, and Gail gave her a death glare. "Right! Shutting up. But she's so pretty!" The expression on Gail's face would have been funny if Holly wasn't momentarily worried for the other woman's life.

"Hi," Holly smiled, saving Officer Price from sudden grievous bodily harm. She inhaled to introduce herself and was nearly floored by the smell. "Wow..."

"I wasn't kidding." Gail cleared her throat, "Officer Price, Dr. Stewart." Gail glanced at the curtains in the back of the room. "It's just my pants and boots that are evidence, you get all of Price's crap." Jerking her chin, Gail led the other officer to the back and Holly could hear them changing.

"Dr. Stewart," said Price, in a voice that was meant to be for Gail alone. "You should grovel. I would grovel. I did grovel, because Dov-"

"Chloe, shut up." Gail's voice was quieter, but the tone was not as harsh as Holly might have expected. That made her Chloe Price, Dov's bubbly girlfriend who drove Gail up a wall on a good day, but she secretly appreciated, and don't ever tell anyone that. Holly quirked a smile.

"I'm just saying, she's pretty, you like her, you need to grovel and win her back. It'll be so romantic! You can tell your kids about it every Christmas!"

There was a pause, "My god, you sound like Dov."

"Really?" That voice sounded so ... Perky.

Poor, poor, Gail, stuck with her polar opposite all day. Gail said something in German and Chloe responded. Soon the two were arguing (or not, Holly couldn't tell the difference between talking in German and arguing in German) rapidly. Holly heard her name come up. She coughed and asked, "Do you even know what that stuff is?"

"It's more **who** it is that we don't know," replied Gail, causticly. "Chloe opened a cabinet and the guy fell out and exploded on her."

"So you know it's a male?" She meant to be sarcastic and teasing. But Gail's reply surprised her.

"Bones." And of all things, Gail rattled off a rather nice description of the pelvic bone's shape. So she _was_ listening all those times.

"I didn't know you knew all that," remarked Price.

"There's a lot about me you don't know, Chloe… And GOD you reek." Gail came out from behind the curtained area in scrubs and paper slippers. "The bag'o'body's on it's way. Think you can clear our weapons first?"

A bag of body was not an appetizing image. "Yours maybe, if you really didn't get any spatter." It was strange, working with Gail again. She was careful about keeping her distance, even when Dov showed up to fuss over Chloe and bring them clothes.

The detective (Traci) came with the evidence, and told Gail that Oliver wanted her to stick with the body. So Gail ended up waiting in the lab with Holly, while she went over the body. "On a scale of one to awkward, with awkward being turtle, how weird is this?"

Holly swallowed a laugh and smiled at Gail, "Less weird than a month ago, but weird."

"Goody. I'll sit outside," decided Gail, and she picked up her jacket.

Holly felt horribly shy when she looked at Gail. "Gail... I know you said not to be, um, private us at work, but. I just want you to know..." She trailed off and lost her sentence. She wanted to be kissing Gail again, disgusting smelly guy or not.

"You're really bad at this whole girl thing," Gail decided. "I mean, I thought I was bad, but I'm not the one who's been a lesbian since forever." A smile tugged at Gail's lips. "I totally get why you're single a lot."

"Shut up," smiled Holly. Holding up her hands, Gail moved to the door. "I didn't say thank you."

Gail paused in the door way, "For what?"

"Everything. Helping me move and un-move and everything else."

"Hey, we're plus one's forever." Gail paused and kicked at the door frame. "Thanks for listening about Sophie. I took your advice."

"Which part?"

"Helping find a good match for her. Even if it means I can't be in her life." That had been a gut wrenching conversation, with Gail saying she would rather Sophie be happy without her, if that's how it would be best.

Holly reached for the zipper on the bag and pulled her face mask down. "I don't mind if you stay, Gail. You're always welcome here." There was no reply from Gail, and Holly unzipped the bag and started to carefully take samples and remove the bones. She didn't hear Gail leave, so asked, "Why are some of the bones in the bag and some out? You didn't zip this up…"

"And screw up medical jurisprudence? There were two bags."

"Ah, and one exploded over you and Chloe?"

The sound of a chair scraping on the floor preceded Gail's reply, "Of course. The tools in the garage are being processed."

Confident that Gail couldn't see her face well enough under the mask, Holly smiled. Gail was staying in the room. "What were you looking for in the first place?"

Gail laughed, a real laugh this time. "A stolen pedigree cat. Can you believe that? People pay thousands for a special cat?"

"I think my aunt did that once, some bengali thing." Holly glanced over and saw Gail settling into her desk chair, picking up the latest journal. Gail snorted and flipped through the first pages. "So you and Chloe speak German?"

"We speak a lot of the same languages," confessed Gail. "Dov doesn't know any German, though, and it pisses him off when we do that." Which explained why Gail did it. Finding something, Gail skipped to the middle of the journal and started reading. "Legal Implications of Medical Jurisprudence in Field Samples," read off Gail. "You know, you didn't even need all that diatom stuff to find who he was."

Of course she was skipping to Holly's article. "We did to find cause of death," smirked Holly, feeling safe behind her mask.

"I can actually _hear_ you smirking, Lunchbox," Gail teased.

Holly rolled her eyes and continued to separate the bones.

* * *

_For those of you still reading this, thanks for the kind words of support. It will get better._


	14. Let It Go

_**Author's Note:** If I have to hear that song one more time... Oh well, let's start making things better and get to a happier place._

* * *

They worked through two coffees before Gail suggested they walk outside and talk. They were at a tiny shop Holly had picked, nearer to Holly's place than Casa Diaz/Peckstein, the Hostel for Wayward Cops. When Gail referred to it as such, Holly had an honest laugh. They talked about how Gail had yet to kill Gerald, and resented being his T.O. That was official, too. She was going to get another rookie after Gerald.

It was nice. The spring evening wasn't too cold, and she ended up walking Holly to her door.

"Thanks," she smiled, trying not to look as shy as she felt. She wanted to hug Holly, but she didn't want to overstep anything. Her therapist had told her not to repeat past mistakes, and jumping right into everything physical with Holly, no matter how wonderful, would be a repeat.

Holly rocked on her heels. "You're welcome. Better than being yelled at for bad decisions and getting tazed, huh?"

Gail winced but had to smile. "Not in the eye, at least." She exhaled, "I really don't like her, Holly. She's crazy judgey."

"I call her Dr. BitchTits sometimes," confessed Holly.

"I don't think she'll ever like me."

"She doesn't like me much right now."

"You think she'd like me better if I flaunted money?"

Holly made that goofy side smile that Gail adored. "Only if you spent it on a boob job."

They both laughed a little. "Yeah, no thanks. I like my boobs the way they are."

"So do I." Holly's eyes went wide the second she said it. "God, I'm sorry. My mouth just runs off sometimes and I can't stop it. It-"

"It happens when you're nervous," smiled Gail. She was disproportionately happy that Holly liked her breasts. The babbling nerves were why Gail kissed her in the first place. She wanted to kiss Holly now. Instead, she laughed and pulled Holly into a friendly hug. "You're very weird, Holly."

For a moment, Holly was stiff, but her hands reached around and rested on Gail's back, holding on to her. "Are we ever going to be the same?" Holly's voice was a whisper.

"Probably not," sighed Gail, one hand gently stroking Holly's hair. "Maybe we could be something else, though. Something better."

Holly laughed softly. "When did you become an optimist?"

The hug loosened. As much as Gail would have been happy to stand on the steps forever, she let go. Just having Holly in her arms was so good, and so right. She looked at Holly and reflex kicked in. Gail cupped Holly's face with her hands and felt her mouth go dry. "I should go home," she whispered.

Holly's hands rested on Gail's shoulder. "Gail," she sighed. "You can stay."

"No, Holly, I really can't." She leaned in and kissed Holly lightly. "I can't stay because I really want to do that."

"So do I." Holly leaned in and they kissed again. "And I want you to stay."

This was a problem. Gail closed her eyes and stepped back. She let her hands fall to her sides. "Holly, don't," she whispered. "Please, I really ... I love you, but I don't want to hurt us by thinking everything is fine just because we're kissing, when we know it's not. We rushed in to everything."

"You .. What?" Holly looked shocked.

Gail rewound her conversation in her head, caught the reason for the look, and exhaled. "I love you."

There. The three small words Gail had never been able to say before were out there. They just fell out without warning, and they startled Holly enough that Gail was able to take Holly's hands off her shoulders and squeeze them. She did love Holly. Insanely, madly, deeply. She'd never gotten her out of her head.

"I don't know what to say," remarked Holly in a whisper.

Gail smiled, trying to keep her face together. There was no chance Holly was going to say the words back right now, which could mean a lot of things, so she addressed Holly's hands. "You say goodnight, drive safe, and maybe you tell me to call you tomorrow." She squeezed the hands again, and dared to look up at Holly. Tears were in the corners of Holly's eyes. "Goodnight, Holly."

"Goodnight, Gail." A pause. "Text me when you get home."

Gail smiled, a more relieved smile. "I will." She turned to go and made it down two steps.

Cleaning her throat, Holly started to ask, "Gail, If I call you-"

"I'll answer." A pause. "Unless I'm on stakeout."

"That," agreed Holly, "is a good reason." They looked at each other, Gail shyly and Holly anxiously. Finally Holly opened her front door and stepped inside, but she kept watching Gail.

A small wave and Gail turned to walk to her car, parked not that far away. When she got home, she dutifully texted Holly.

* * *

Burning off excess energy should be fun. After a long day with horrible cases and emotional stress, hitting balls in the cages was supposed to be relaxing. It wasn't. Instead it was reminding her of Gail's attempt at killing herself with a bat, which was hilarious. And that also meant thinking about Gail.

It wasn't fair to still feel like this about Gail. Sure, she wanted to be back together with Gail, but for her to drop the 'love' word threw Holly off her game. She'd been hoping for maybe make-up sex. Anything but this. And it was making her conflicted. She'd never stopped caring about Gail, that was simple and easy to understand. The funny, people-hating cop, who cared about kids and was passionate about her work, was immature, and petty and ... Damn it, why did Holly keep rushing to kiss her all the time?

That was how she had gotten into this mess in the first place. Stupid, impulsive, Holly. She fell for the straight girl, again, and then gave her a pass, and then it bit her in the ass. And yet it was still better to think about her complicated, annoying, relationship with Gail than to think about the foster kid on her table today. Starved to death.

Why were people so damn cruel? Gail was right, people sucked. And she couldn't call Gail, because she was spending the afternoon with Sophie and wasn't available. Which was fair, Holly had to admit, and somehow comforting. There was one child Gail was desperate to make sure wasn't going to be mistreated. This new, mature, Gail was strange and wonderful. With an angry grunt, Holly swung and hit the ball, sending it flying into the home run marker, tweaking her back in the action.

There was applause from the other batters.

"Damn it," she winced, and added Salonpas to her mental shopping list.

Holly tried a couple more swings but verified that, indeed, her back hated her, so she called in a night. On the drive home, she found herself passing Gail's cop bar. A handful of officers Holly recognized were headed in and Holly wondered if she was in... Would it be weird to show up? Yes, it would. It would be very weird and inappropriate.

She continued on her way home, and texted Gail once she got in.

_Saw your friends at the Penny._

The reply was surprisingly fast.

G_ame night._

_Going to beat them?_

_I'm enjoying a quiet night at home with a book._

Holly stared at her phone. Was Gail home alone?

_Lies. You only read books with pictures._

_Your articles have pictures. Does that count?_

Holly smirked and winced as she hung up her purse. "Should've stopped at the store." Pressing a hand to her lower back, Holly decided to try a hot shower.

_You're not reading my articles._

_No, I'm reading some actually dreadful fantasy book. It has a map, and that counts._

When they'd been dating (the first time? was this a second or a reboot?), Holly had caught Gail inspecting her fantasy and science fiction books more than once.

_I told you Game Of Thrones was dark._

_Wrong! Kvetch._

_Who?_

_Damn you, autocorrect! KVOTHE._

_Name of the Wind is a great series!_

Holly was defensive, but she'd really liked the first two books, and was on pins and needles waiting for the third.

_The second book is all about sex! He out-sexes a nymph, bangs a teacher, and is a super Mary Sue expert._

_You remembered Mary Sue!_

_I'm not taking your advice on books anymore._

Holly laughed and tossed her phone onto her bed to try the shower, pain killers, and a heating pad to make sure her back wasn't going to kill her that night. When you spent half your day bending over to peer at things, back care was important.

Her phone had a text waiting for her when she got back.

_Why are you home at 7pm, Dr. Stewart?_

_That's awfully personal, Officer Peck._

Sooner than Holly expected, she got a reply.

_It's one of my charming traits._

_Why wouldn't I be home at 7pm on a work night?_

_Because you should be hitting balls, like a good lesbian._

Holly blinked at her phone. Was she that predictable?

_I've decided that's creepy._

_Sorry._

That was it? That was the reply? She waited a while and got no further texts. "You are annoying, Gail Peck." Holly wedged the heating pad into place and turned it on before settling into China Miéville's latest book. Except... "Damn it!" She snatched the phone back up.

_Okay, why should I be at the batting cages?_

This reply took longer to arrive, and was short but entirely explanatory.

_Traci was working the case._

Oh. That was ... Less creepy. But that also brought memories of the child on her table. Less than half the weight of children his age. Broken bones from systemic abuse and malnutrition. She felt like crying again. Instead she replied to Gail.

_I apologize. That's not creepy._

_It's okay. I figured you were looking for a virtual shoulder._

Damn. She really was transparent. Deflect. Deflect.

_Far more embarrassing actually_

Gail took a long time to reply.

_Do you need me to call?_

In an instant, tears pricked Holly's eyes. She sighed and tried to think about how she could say no when the answer was yes. The answer was that she wanted Gail in her arms, in her bed, and she wanted to comfort herself. Inevitably, the phone rang. "You're trying to say no," remarked Gail.

"I hate people."

"Pretty sure that's my line."

Holly laughed and started crying at the same time. "I really do, though," she sniffled through the tears.

"I'm sorry." Gail sounded sincere and warm in a friendly way that comforted Holly. She couldn't stop crying though. She really wished Gail was there to hug her and hold her.

"Who does that to anyone, Gail?" She sobbed into the phone. Holly had seen hundreds of bodies, and parts of bodies, in her years in the lab. The number of children were thankfully small, but they'd never hit her this hard before. "They locked him up in a cage because he was autistic! They beat him! That.. How can people treat their own child like that?" Her breath caught on a sob and Holly wailed.

But Gail stayed on the phone. "Everyone has one case, Holly," she said softly, her voice breaking through the tears with tenderness. "It knocks us down, humanizes us. Hits harder than all the others, for no reason we can tell. But it does." Holly sniffled and wiped her face. "Pierces the skin. And ... Now it's going to be harder and everything's going to hurt more for a while. And I'm really sorry. But this is a good thing, okay? It's a horrible, sucky thing, but it's good. Because it makes us human."

Reaching for the Kleenex, Holly blew her nose. "That was ... Deep." And comforting. Gail had clearly been there before.

"That was Oliver," Gail admitted. "He taught me that."

"I think I like him."

"Me too. He's not people." Holly blew her nose again. "That's really not a charming sound," laughed Gail.

"And you've ruined this awesome moment," Holly replied, but she started laughing again. Two idiots, laughing on the phone. The laughter lightened her a little.

Gail found her voice first. "That sounds better."

Holly sighed. "I feel a little better."

"Good. So tell me the embarrassing thing." When Holly groaned, Gail snorted. "Come on, after every dumb and embarrassing thing I've done with you, including stupid things straight chicks ask, you can't possibly have a single thing more embarrassing than me at the batting cages."

"Oh, god, you have no idea... I hurt my back hitting a home run." There was silence on the phone. "That's the good one where the ball goes out of the park-"

"Wow. And you thought _I'd_ hurt myself." The giggles were being barely contained.

"See? I'm hanging up if you laugh!" But it was too late, Gail was giggling like a child. "You suck, Gail Peck."

Gail laughed more now. "You're right, that _is_ embarrassing. Oh, man." She snorted a laugh.

"Now that is a charming sound," smiled Holly, but she could picture Gail in mind, laughing so hard that her jack and coke came out her nose. That had happened before over drinks, when Dov had thrown a dart into someone's hair. "Hey why are you home by yourself?"

She could still hear the smile in Gail's voice. "I asked Chloe to take Dov out, and Chris is working."

"That's how and not why," admonished Holly.

"Oh, I wanted to be alone." Gail was so flippant about things sometimes. "Don't get worried, the lights are on and I'm in the living room. I was watching Big Brother."

"That'll rot your brain."

"Please, I saw the Mary Higgins Clark books on your shelves."

Holly's face burned. After she'd ended up not moving, Gail had helped her unpack and put everything back in place. At least she hadn't found the collection of actual smut on Holly's shelves. "Are you okay?"

"Home alone? Well I set up a bunch of booby traps in case the burglars show up, with a paint can and some marbles." Gail chuckled. "Sophie and I were watching that."

"That's a horrible movie."

"She picked it. Anyway, I'm fine. I'm kind of enjoying it. Thinking about moving out of the frat."

It was hard to say how Holly felt about that. She knew it had been part of why the adoption failed. Was it related? Was it just a sign of growing up? "Well. Don't rush in to anything. Okay?"

"Says the woman who keeps driving across the city to kiss me in inappropriate rooms at my work."

"You kissed me the first time," Holly pointed out, indignantly.

"Seriously, I thought you were drunk or high..." Gail trailed off. They'd talked about that before, though. They'd talked about all of it, from exactly how not-serious Holly had been with her rebound and how she'd been dumped, to how Gail hadn't so much as looked at anyone. "You going to be able to sleep?"

"I think so." Holly hesitated, "Hey... Thanks for calling."

"Any time. Sweet dreams, Holly."

"Goodnight, Gail." They hung up and Holly smiled at the phone. Oh yeah. That's why she still cared about Gail.

* * *

It was Holly's idea to go to a movie. Gail had simply asked her to dinner, as a casual thing, but Holly claimed she seriously needed some brain candy and, after all, Gail had taken Sophie to see a movie. Eager to spend time with Holly, Gail agreed with some guidelines.

"No science fiction," she reminded Holly as they looked up movies over a coffee break. "No fantasy."

"Cartoons?"

Gail paused and stared at Holly. "Oh my god, you want to see _Frozen_."

The nerd blushed. "Look, it's funny and there's singing and you asked me out, so I get to pick the movie, right?"

It was the smile that did her in. Holly had a soft, shy, introverted smile. She didn't show it often, only in rare moments where she was totally embarrassed (like the time in bed that she'd lasted all of 90 seconds, and blamed Gail's couch foreplay while blushing to the tips of her ears). That smile made Gail want to do crazy things.

"Right. Okay, we go to the kiddie movie, but we're having ice cream after."

"I like this already," announced Holly, and with no shame put in the order for two adult tickets to _Frozen_.

Gail had to admit the movie was cute, though not her thing at all. Holding hands in the theater was. Holly had flipped up the armrest between them right away, before the lights went dark. After the second song, Gail checked and saw Holly's hand sitting on her own thigh, and reached over to touch it, just lightly resting her fingers on the back of Holly's hand. In response, Holly's hand turned and easily fit into Gail's.

She'd felt a little bad, since Sophie had dragged her to see the movie three weeks ago, but it worked out since Gail paid no attention at all to the film this time. She cared more about touching Holly, holding her hand as if nothing had changed. They held hands through the whole rest of the movie, neither hand sweating, as if it was the most normal, natural, thing to do. They stayed through the credits, since Holly wanted to watch them, and it wasn't until she stood up that Holly let go of her hand.

They did not hold hands walking to ice cream, and Gail let Holly's adorable babble about the movie wash over her. This felt so right. Being with Holly in normal situations, that normal people did, and feeling happy was a strange feeling for an umpteenth generation cop. But she was relaxed and wished the day could never end. Well, maybe it could end in a better way, but Gail was surprisingly alright with just being with Holly and being happy.

Gail bought the ice cream. "Do you want to sit outside...?" The patio was crowded with children and parents, all from the same movie. There had actually been other couples, adult couples, at the film, but none of them were at the ice cream parlor. Did no one else think of ice cream as a date thing anymore? Was this a date?

"There's a park," Holly noted, and looped her arm through Gail's to lead them there. Gail's heart started pounding, and she felt herself heating up. It wasn't until the ice cream started to drip on her hand that she remembered she was even holding the cone.

As they walked to the swings, Gail asked, "What's the part of your brain that doesn't ask for directions and just decides how you feel about things?" She tried to keep her voice light.

"Amygdala." Holly licked her ice cream cone. "Yours is probably on overdrive a lot," she mused. "Studies show that traumatic incidents center there."

Gail gave Holly a frown. "Wow, really?"

Embarrassed, Holly explained. "You deal with a lot of fear-based situations, and your amygdala is what processes that. So that you're always overcoming those moments, you have to suppress that reaction, which contributes to ... Um. Yeah, that's probably not what you were asking."

"Very much not, you nerd." She smiled, squeezing Holly's arm and then letting it go to sit on a swing. "I meant the part where when you're doing one thing and your brain calms down and you stop worrying about all the crap in your life."

Holly looked thoughtful and sat in the next swing over. "Reptile Brain, possibly, though that's debatable." They swung in silence for a little while. "Why?"

Exhaling, Gail let her feet drag to stop her swinging. "Because when I'm with you, I don't worry as much about the shit-storm that is my life. When I held your hand, in the theater, I forgot to watch the movie. And when you took my arm, I forgot I had ice cream." She leaned against the chain and looked at Holly. "I miss us. And I kind of feel like we have a second chance."

Still swinging gently, Holly nibbled on her cone. "I see," she finally remarked.

"I'm sorry," sighed Gail. She had no taste to finish the ice cream. "I know it sounds like I'm treating you like some fallback plan."

"Are you?"

"No. I never once stopped wishing I was with you." It was true. She'd wanted Holly and Sophie, true, but she thought she couldn't have them both. Then she had this brief, insanely hopeful moment, where she thought she could have them both before life pissed in her cornflakes. Neither. Or maybe not. Was it wrong to want a dream with Holly again? Was it a fallback when it was really something she'd wanted with all her heart even when she said idiotic things.

Holly looked over at her, thoughtfully. "I don't want kids, Gail. Not now, maybe not ever."

"I know," she sighed, but the back of her brain twigged to how Holly said that. "And you were going to leave Canada."

"With you." Holly grimaced. "That was stupid, I know. I'm sorry." Before Gail could say anything, Holly added, "I love you."

"What?" Gail blurted the question without stopping to think about it.

A pause. A heartbeat. Holly's voice was quiet and calm and she repeated, "I love you, Gail Peck." Gail kept staring. While she'd said it before, Holly had not, and hearing it now was crazy. Her pulse pounded in her head, and she felt light headed.

Was she supposed to say it back now? She remembered, dimly, Nick professing his love as he proposed. That was the only time he'd said it seriously, and it never felt like this. "Oh," she finally managed. Swallowing, she whispered, "I love you."

Taking the tongue-tied expression well, Holly pushed off the ground and swung. "I was mad at you for moving on when I did too, which is so insanely stupid of me. It wasn't fair, and I… I don't know if I would have been willing to be a mom with you, Gail, I still don't want kids. But I don't want to be _without_ you right now. So I want to try. And talk."

That had been a fear of Gail's. That Sophie and Holly were and either/or situation. And while the reality looked like that would be the case, she didn't feel that she was settling for one or the other. She'd wanted both. Her life was not a fairy tale. "Can we do this again?"

"No," admitted Holly, "but maybe we can do it better."

* * *

_Stepping forward, it's sometimes okay to put a label on things._

___BTW, this whole thing is written for another 45 chapters or so. That means no, I've not changed anything just because you guys don't like the whole beat-cop remark, or the visa. I'm not answering everything in one go, either. Some of this will take a long time to resolve. Like chapter 50 solves some of the things you hated, Guests. The question is if you like the storytelling._


	15. Rain Delays

_Author's Note: It took them a while to get to sex before, it will take a while to get back to sex now. There will be sex though._

* * *

Either Gail was playing it cool or she was scared to death and frozen with indecision. No matter what, she was not making an advance on Holly, even while sitting on her couch, watching soccer with Holly. They both had a Long Island ice tea and Gail was curled up with her feet tucked underneath, watching the TV curiously.

"Okay, honey, you have got to be bored."

Gail took a sip of her drink, "What? No!" She paused. "Has Canada ever made it to the … Universal Bowl thingy? They keep showing commercials for it."

"World Cup, it's this summer. And yes." Holly scooted so her thigh was up against Gail's.

"Ever won?" When Holly hesitated, Gail laughed, "Okay, how many times have they gone?"

Holly scowled. "Once, in 1986." The smirk on Gail's face was epic. "Shut up, we watched it at home."

But Gail had the giggles. "Baby lumberjack lunchbox."

Holly swatted her arm but smiled. "Come on, we've been in five of the six Women's World Cup. Came in fourth in 2003."

Gail looked surprised, "Women do this? Why aren't we watching that?" She gestured at the TV with both hands. Giggling, Holly pointed out a women's match wasn't on. Gail huffed and leaned back, resting a hand on Holly's thigh.

"It's in Canada next year," she noted, trying not to let her heart race any more, just from having Gail touch her. "The Women's World Cup. Men's games start in June."

"Huh, maybe I could get tickets from Uncle Al. I'll probably get stuck working though."

"You don't even like it!"

"You like it. Sophie's kinda into soccer. Maybe." Gail tried to shrug nonchalantly, but managed to look awkward and nervous.

Holly smiled. "You'd be bored, and you know it."

"Hey, they're not sexy librarians, but they're probably cute, right?" When Holly blushed, Gail grinned, "Please tell me you came out because you had a massive crush on some Brazilian."

"She was German," Holly said defensively. And she had short blonde hair like Gail.

Gail made a satisfied noise and moved her hand from Holly's thigh so she could wedge herself in the corner of the couch. "Of course she was." Gail put her glass down and draped an arm over the back of the couch. "Sit with me?"

Holly hesitated and then turned around, leaning back against Gail, resting her head against her shoulder. "I thought you were the little spoon," she teased.

Gail gently stroked Holly's hair, brushing it out of the way. "I'm all about new experiences."

This must have been how Gail felt at the movie theater. While Holly was interested in the game, she kept thinking about the soft body under hers, the pale legs touching her own. All she had to do was turn around and Gail would be right there. She turned her face, looking up, and was surprised at how relaxed Gail was now. "You look way too calm."

"No more hair to chop off." Gail stretched her legs, one sliding over Holly's which was not helping Holly's self control. "Pecks stay calm under pressure, don't you know?" Holly gave her best 'oh really?' look and Gail chuckled, self deprecatingly. "When we're not having traumatic flashbacks and freaking out about our self-identities. Which Good Pecks don't do either." The obvious meaning there was that Gail did not consider herself to be a very good Peck. "I'm happy right now."

It was too soon to get into Gail's issues of self-worth and her family. "Really? Gail, you hate sports."

"True, but _you_ like it, and it's kind of nice to get to spend the day hanging out with the coolest chick ever." When Holly poked her thigh, Gail chuckled. "My life is not the happy end of the fairy tale. I have this right now, Holly, and I kinda want to savor it."

Knowing everything she did about Gail's life, Holly could not disagree, but she wasn't quite sure what to say. Just then, a particularly vicious play went down and Holly groaned, "Oh come on! Red card!"

"How can you tell when they're really hurt? Every time someone goes down, they act like their leg came off." So Holly attempted to explain the ways of drawing fouls and scoring and penalty shots. "I don't get why the scores are always one to nothing, then, with all this kicking."

"Well there are offsides rules." Holly tried to explain them, but she was pretty sure Gail didn't follow or care.

Gail huffed but continued to watch until halftime. "They make me tired just watching them run around." As Gail raised her arms over her head to stretch, her bangs flopped into her eyes.

"You," laughed Holly, "Are incredibly lazy." She sat up and turned to look at Gail. The hair was starting to grow out, and Holly reached to push it out of Gail's face. "Still kinda beautiful." In reply, Gail smiled a little embarrassedly.

There wasn't enough alcohol in their drinks to make a claim for liquid courage, and Holly moved into Gail's personal space. She really wanted to kiss Gail again, and the predatory look in her eyes must have been obvious. Now Gail was nervous, but she reached out to touch Holly's arms. "Holly, I want to kiss you."

"We _are_ dating," agreed Holly, and she leaned in to kiss Gail. This was better. This was how things should be, and Holly settled on Gail's lap running a hand through her hair. So much better.

They broke off the kiss before getting further in, looking at each other carefully. Holly gently kissed her again. It was a light kiss, almost the same as in the coat closet. "This is nice," whispered Gail, and Holly sighed, touching Gail's face.

Gail held Holly's hand in place, smiling. Their eyes met for a moment, and Gail pushed herself up to kiss Holly this time. As Gail's hand touched her hip, Holly's eyes drifted closed. She let Gail guide her back into her lap, concentrating only on the kiss. But Gail's hands went no further and she sighed. On an unspoken cue, they broke apart, Gail pulling Holly onto her, tucking Holly's head on her shoulder.

They lay there, quietly, in a safe bubble. Holly's fingers traced the collar on Gail's shirt, drinking in the feeling of nearness. "You haven't told me about any of your cases... Except stinky cat hoarder guy."

"You... Don't want to hear about them from my end, Holly." That was code for Gail didn't want to talk about her feelings and Holly frowned. "Really, I have a mess of ugly cases." But Gail reached to took Holly's hand in her own. "I'm still hunting down Mr. Stinky's cat." When Holly blinked, Gail grinned. "I have talked to every owner of a Scottish Fold in the city."

At Holly's prompting, Gail went on to explain how frustrating it was to track down a damn cat, who probably ran off on its own anyway. And for her part, Holly smiled. This was okay.

* * *

She thought her brain was going to explode. "Can women even get blue balls," Gail asked herself, aloud, in her bedroom. Holly would know, but you couldn't really ask the reason behind your ongoing aches what the technical term was for female sexual frustration. And so Gail self-diagnosed herself with blue balls.

Pulling on the snug black undershirt, Gail tried to put it out of her mind. She could hold off on sex, as long as needed to be. Rushing into things was how they'd ended up at a place of insecurity to begin with. Not that it helped to go slower right now, or slower faster, whatever they were calling it. Gail kept worrying she was doing things wrong and was being a bad girlfriend.

At the same time, Holly seemed happier than before. They were cautious about certain topics, but they spent more time together touching. Hand holding, certainly, but sitting on the couch with her arms around Holly had been one of the best days in recent memory. Yes, they'd made out many times, but other than the one, chaste, night, hadn't slept together.

Then there was the other day, when Gail had dared to kiss Holly while they were watching a movie.

It wasn't that she hadn't liked the movie, it was cute and had a surprising amount of action and tension. She'd never seen _Lord of the Rings_, and Holly saw it as a deficiency. So they'd watched. But with Holly leaning up against her for the whole first half, Gail had felt a discomfort unrelated to the hobbits and elves. As Holly started to get up to change the DVD, Gail pulled her down.

The kiss was meant to be just warm and brief, but Gail surprised herself by how much she'd needed to feel Holly against her. Before long, a simple kiss became serious one, hungry and hot. She'd pulled Holly closer, falling back onto the couch, and met no resistance. Instead, Holly had gasped and laughed, letting her weight settle on Gail.

She had missed that so, so much. Feeling Holly against her, having her hair fall and get in Gail's face, and the rims of her glasses bumping Gail's nose. It took every ounce of Gail's willpower not to move Holly onto one of her thighs. But she wanted it, oh god did she want to feel that. And unlike the time watching soccer, there was no need to stop, or feelings of doubt.

Her hands went up the back of Holly's shirt, and Holly made that soft sound she used when she happy and turned on. It wasn't a moan, but something more gentle. They'd started to move more against each other in a way that was more than suggestive, when Holly stopped, pulling away reluctantly.

That one kiss, that one make out session, kicked Gail's libido into overdrive, and made her wish she lived alone. It just wasn't fair to crave someone that much.

Gail pulled a loose sweater on and checked her phone. She pushed thoughts of Holly out of her head as much as she could, and headed out. Today was a Sophie day. She'd been telling the girl bits and pieces about her best friend, and Sophie admitted she'd always wanted one, but asked if Gail could be her best friend too. It pulled at Gail's heart, the blatant obviousness of an eight year-old. Social services had been a little more iffy about Gail still spending so much time with Sophie, and she'd been honest with them about where things stood with Holly.

Because Holly was worth waiting for.

* * *

"Was the courier sick again," asked the man in the white shirt with the name tag of Shaw. It took Holly a moment to recognize him as Oliver. Gail talked about him in possibly the most friendly ways possible, so she understood he was someone Gail actually liked. He wasn't 'people' to Gail, which was high praise.

Smiling, Holly held up her empty hands. "No, I'm supposed to talk to Detective Swarek about a case, and he asked if I could come here. So."

Oliver nodded, "Sam is in the detective bullpen." He turned and shouted, "Price! Come escort our esteemed forensics friend to Swarek, please and thank you." Then to Holly he added, "I'm glad you're back. My petulant Peck wasn't the same."

Before Holly really had a chance to process the comment, the bubbly Chloe Price popped up, appearing out of nowhere. "Hi, Dr. Stewart! You look great. Do you always look this put together? I wish I could. I'm really glad we wear uniforms here, though. I'd never want to be a detective and have to figure out those suits."

Holly shot Oliver a pained look and he just smiled. No wonder Gail regularly reported wanting to kill Chloe. "Dress for the job you want to have," replied Holly, trying to tamp her annoyance down.

"That makes sense." Chloe paused and looked around. "So … are you and Gail … back together?"

Well. That was unexpected. "I'm … sorry. What?" Did they all know? Probably. Gail mentioned once that her brother would spread gossip like herpes, which wasn't an appealing analogy. Though that would imply Gail had told her brother anything, and while they were indeed back together, it was being kept under wraps for as long as possible. No long nights at Holly's, just long phone calls and talking. And sometimes getting a little hot and heavy on the couch. It was frustrating, sexually speaking, but at the same time had been a relief to have someone touch her the way Gail did. Reverently.

"It's just she was all sad while you were broken up, and more grumpy than normal. I mean, it probably had to do with that case too. She kind of takes cases with kids really hard, but don't tell her I said that." Chloe cleared her throat. "Sorry, word vomit. She's just less angry since you came back, though I hear about your transfer not happening, and that sucks. The US is stupid, you'd be great. I'm just really happy that she's happy. For Gail."

Holly tried to figure out the nice way to say she wasn't going to talk about that with a total stranger, when a fit man walked up, "Chloe, stop it." His name tag read Collins and it was familiar. "Sorry, she's really excitable."

"Nick! You're working with Gail, where is she?" Chloe actually looked worried.

"Lockup. You really need to stop interfering."

But Chloe had a look on her face. "You should! You were so good at getting Dov over his issue, and it was really great and—"

"Oh no, no no no, we are not doing this!" Nick looked horrified. "Especially not with Gail!"

Why would he care that much about Gail in that regard? Holly stared at Officer Collins for a moment. Nick Collins. "Oh, _you're_ Nicholas," said Holly aloud and then felt herself blush. He looked nothing like Gail had described, but then again, she also didn't have any photos of him. But this was the man Gail had once been engaged to. Holly felt irrationally jealous. He looked like the perfect trophy husband.

Half embarrassed and half relieved, he nodded. "Yes, which is **exactly** why this is not a conversation I should be having." At least he was somewhat self aware of how awkward it was for two people who had slept with Gail to talk about one of them having sex with Gail. Or not. Ugh.

"I think that about pretty much everything you say, Nick," remarked Gail in her most acerbic. "Hi, Dr. Stewart."

There was a twinkle in her eye when she smiled at Holly and Holly grinned back. "Hello, Officer Peck. I'm just here to talk to Detective Swarek and …"

"And you got waylaid by Chloe, who needs to mind her own business." Gail shook her head, but was fairly relaxed by Gail-standards when it came to people like Chloe.

"You _are_ back together!" squealed Chloe.

Gail looked momentarily startled. "Don't, Chloe, just … Don't. We're at work."

"Yes, and I should not be here," Nick remarked

"I think that every day," Gail sighed. "Swarek's in the break room." She gave Holly a sympathetic look while Nick just looked like he wanted to run away.

Chloe was just looking thoughtful. "Oh, I get it! You aren't together together. Well that's silly! I mean, I bet it's just like me and Dov, where he was being all stupid and didn't want to hurt me, and I just wanted to get laid—"

"Chloe!" snapped Gail. "Shut. Up." There was a bite to her tone that actually did cause Chloe to close her mouth. "Swarek. Break room. Work. Stay the hell out of my personal life, okay?" Turning to Nick, she added, "We have a call, Collins. Stop trying to help people and actually help people." With one last glance for Holly, Gail hauled Nick off.

After a moment, Holly coughed. "Well. That's awkward."

Chloe sighed. "I forgot he used to date Gail... It feels like a million years ago."

Holly eyed Chloe, marveling that Chloe's takeaway was that, of all things. "Uh huh. Break room?"

Chloe jumped and started down a different path. "She really likes you, you know."

Clearly this wasn't going to end. "I know," sighed Holly.

"You like her."

"That … isn't the problem." Why was she even having this conversation?

"Gail can be kind of immature," Chloe noted. "I don't think it's really her fault. She's got more pressure than I do, and my godfather was the sergeant here before Oliver." With a sigh, Chloe opened the break room door. "Just give her a chance?"

Holly stared at Chloe for a moment, and realized the super-perky person actually cared about Gail as a friend. For all Gail said she didn't make friends, the whole division seemed to be invested in her happiness. "Thank you," she replied, in lieu of anything else to say, and found herself stuck in a Chloe hug.

"Don't see that every day," said Detective Swarek after Chloe left.

"I'm really not sure what just happened," admitted Holly.

"No one really is with her." And thankfully, they got down to work.

* * *

_Does she hug EVERYONE?!_

The text from Holly made Gail laugh.

"What's funny?" asked Nick, driving the squad car.

"Lesbian jokes." Gail tapped a reply.

_Only once if you're me. I threatened her._

"So. You and Holly." He hesitated and glanced at her. "This is inappropriate, isn't it?" Gail just glared at him. "Right! I'm just … She looked at you."

"We're friends, Nick. Friends look at each other."

"Yeah, she looked at you the way Dov looks at Chloe."

Gail shuddered. "Do not compare her to Dov. Or me to Chloe."

_Was Chloe really trying to give us advice on sex?_

"I'm not, I'm just saying she really likes you. And if you got a second chance—"

"Nicholas! Seriously, we're not talking about this!" He was silent for a mile after that and Gail tapped in a reply.

_Afraid so._

For that alone, Gail might have to poison Chloe. Sex advice was not the issue. They were taking it slow, damn it.

_I think you have a lot more friends than you think._

That was a strange text.

_I think your definition of friend is strange._

_This is possible. I think you're one of the friendliest people I know._

Gail smiled at that peculiar thought. Friendly Gail Peck.

_It's all that formaldehyde, Lunchbox._

"How's the girl? Sophie?"

"Jesus, Nick. Seriously?" Gail put her phone down. "Since when have you cared about me?"

The words came out harsher than Gail had expected. Nick winced. "I'm sorry. I just... Care about you as a friend."

"Well, stop it."

They paused at a red light and Nick sighed, "Look, you like Holly. She likes you. I think you're in love with her, and you really need to not screw this up, Gail. You … after all the shit that's happened, you deserve to be happy."

Slowly Gail turned to stare at Nick. Everyone always thought Gail just didn't have feelings, but really she just didn't want to talk to people who were going to judge her. As she started to formulate a reply, a man burst out of a store carrying an enormous TV, ran into the street, tripped, and threw the television towards the car. Nick slammed on the brakes in time.

Gail snatched the radio to call it in. Work. Work was way better than having awkward conversations with Nick about the sex with Holly she wasn't having.

* * *

_Work is a good distraction._


	16. Video Killed The Radio Star

_**Chapter 16: Video Killed The Radio Star **_

_Author's Note: Gail's a cop and let's have some cop stuff. And more Chloe. I like her. I watched seasons three and four again recently, and realized how annoying Chloe was in the first episode, but how quickly they tamped her down to be perky likable. She's the anti-Gail._

* * *

The positive side was Gail was actually telling her they had to cancel their date night. The negative was the reason.

"I'm sorry, you stopped a radio with your face?" Holly was sure her phone was cutting out.

Gail's reply was more amused than caustic. "That is indeed what I said, Doctor. Have you had your hearing checked out?"

"Very funny. Do you want to explain this one?"

"If I say 'cop' can that be it?" sighed Gail. Holly did not answer and Gail grumbled. "Guys robbed an electronics' store. One of them broke a TV, the other threw a radio at me when I was cuffing the first guy. Honestly it's just stupid stuff, but my jaw hurts so dinner's kind of a bad idea."

"Uh huh," sighed Holly. "And what did the doctor say?"

"The EMT said I should stay off it," Gail quipped. "Actually, _Nicholas_ said that and promised to stop bugging me about sleeping with you. I am so, so sorry about that."

Holly smiled, pretty sure she was the only one who got to talk to Gail like this. It did not escape her notice how derisive Gail was when speaking of Nick."I've had more awkward days with police officers, but that was mostly after this one didn't call me back after walking out on me."

She could hear Gail cringe. It wasn't really fair to keep poking at Gail about it, but at the same time it certainly reenforced shit which Holly would not accept in a relationship. "And you see how I'm calling you now to explain why I can't go out?"

"I accept your reason," agreed Holly. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm just going to pop some more Aleve and watch Big Brother. Pretty people being stupid on live TV, only I don't have to arrest them. Fun times."

"Well. Okay. Call me or text me if you need anything, promise?" That Gail was only taking OTC painkillers meant it couldn't be all that bad. Or it was horrible.

"Geeze, you're pushy," laughed Gail. "Yes, I promise to contact you should I need so much as a tissue."

"Idiot," smiled Holly, "Feel better."

"I will." Gail paused as if holding on to a word. "Talk to you later."

They hung up and Holly stared at her phone for a while. She had been looking forward to spending time with Gail and their non-physical intimacy was growing. Improving really. Gail actually talked to her about things, like a horrific case that was hitting her hard, or that she knew ASL. They were little things but they really were helping.

If anything, Holly was the one in danger of messing it up since she really just wanted to touch Gail and Gail was being weirdly mature and tentative. When Holly mentioned it the first time, Gail said it was at her therapists' suggestion. Not to just jump back in but to take it slow and actually listen to Holly more. Holly decided it would be inappropriate to send the therapist flowers. At the same time, right now she wanted to borrow Gail's gun and hold the therapist hostage until Gail was convinced to move a little faster.

She really did enjoy hanging out with Gail again but after watching _Lord of the Rings_ and getting seriously into each other at the disk swap, Holly determined what she wanted was more than just hugs and kisses and holding and talking. She wanted to get back to where she could have Gail in her bed. Instead, she had Gail at her own apartment with boys, watching TV with an ice pack.

"Oh for god's sake, Holly," she snapped at herself. If Gail was going to sit around and mope, Holly was going to intrude and that was that. She stopped to pick up some protein smoothies, certain that Gail was just going to drink and not eat, but also soft serve frozen yogurt. The girl loved her sweet treats and today Holly was inclined to be generous.

She knew where Gail lived now, having dropped her off before, but had never actually gone inside. Holly didn't know what to expect when she knocked but having Chloe open the door wasn't on her list.

"OH! Gail, it's for yooooouuuuuuuu," sang Chloe, dancing away to let Holly in.

That was very weird. "Seriously, Chloe, I don't want pizza. You and Dov should just go out and— Holly." Gail's head poked over the couch and Holly could see the entire left side of her face was already discolored. Not that it took much, with Gail's pale skin, to stand out. This however was a massive black eye, a fantastic bruise on her cheek, and serious swelling.

"That looks painful," remarked Holly, closing the door. It looked broken. She frowned at Gail and was highly suspicious of the claim of Advil.

"I've had worse." Gail held up an icepack, indicating her treatment regime. The horrid thing was that Gail probably wasn't lying. "I see you've met my nanny. Her cohort in crime is in the back."

Holly smirked and hung up her jacket. "I brought you some food. Can I…?" Holly gestured at the fridge and Gail did a shrug-nod. When she opened the freezer, there were a dozen icepacks. That made sense, given the physical nature of the job, but it was still daunting. "Want a fresh pack?"

"Sure." Gail tossed the icepack over, belying her claim to not being sporty, and Holly exchanged it. "What'd you bring me?"

"Some soft, cold, foods. Smoothies." Holly loaded up the fridge and was surprised at the amount of fresh food. Hesitating, Holly brought the sweetest one over first, along with the icepack. "Let me look." Gail sighed and turned her head so Holly could inspect the damage. She barely touched it and Gail winced. The worst part was where a sharp corner had impacted along Gail's cheekbone. "They really let you home with this?"

"Her brain breaks the machines," remarked Dov, walking in from the back bedroom area. "EMT swears she doesn't have a concussion. They offered her the good drugs, too."

While Gail flipped Dov off, Holly carefully brought the icepack to Gail's face. "She has a tough head," smiled Holly.

"Hah, if I said that, she'd hurt me."

"I still might, Dov," grumbled Gail, and she eyed the smoothie. "This is healthy."

"And tastes good," Holly insisted. With a reluctant, puppy dog, face, Gail took a sip through the straw. She winced a little, but then sipped more.

Holly smiled, "If you have a blender, you can make a lot more like that with your fridge stock."

Snorting, Dov explained, "She's on a raw food kick. Can you believe that?"

"I didn't touch your candy stash, Dov," grumbled Gail, sinking into the couch.

Holly was impressed. "It's good for you," and she settled in on the couch. For all Gail had warned her, the place wasn't that messy at all. It showed evidence of a recent cleaning though, which made Holly think the cleanliness aspect was new. "So give, how bad is it?"

"Fractured. They x-rayed it. Something about a closed fracture." She shrugged and sipped the smoothie. "I have the print out in my room."

A zygomatic fracture made a lot of sense and Gail was insanely lucky that the damage was so light. "Double vision?" Holly studied Gail's eyes, but both pupils were the same size.

Gail sighed, "Blurry." The admission was like pulling teeth. "I'm off work for a while."

"Holly... If you're going to stay," wondered Dov aloud and paused when Gail glared. "Chloe and I are going out, if that's okay."

Holly was about to say they didn't have to, but Gail spoke up first. "God. Please, go. Or I won't be responsible for what happens to your girlfriend." Said girlfriend was all but dancing on her tip toes, watching Holly and Gail.

In mere moments, Dov had Chloe ushered out the door and as it closed they could both hear Chloe exclaim, "They are so _cute_ together, Dov! Almost as cute as you!" There was a sound of kissing and Holly broke up laughing at the disgusted face Gail was making.

"Sorry, you don't have to stay but I really was going to kill her. She's over _all_ the time again since she and Dov made up." Gail sipped the smoothie again, "I actually started running in the mornings just so I don't kill her before my coffee."

"Poor baby," laughed Holly. "And it's fine. I wanted to see you." She hesitated, "I just.. remembered the last time you got banged up and called me."

Gail looked surprised. "Oh, god, no. Holly, that's _why_ I turned down the Oxy. No, I'm okay." The nightmares and the flashbacks had scared Holly, but Gail seemed much more at ease this time, just a little more pained physically. It was clearly a trade off. Hurt more or sleep worse.

She hadn't really understood why Gail had reacted the way she did to the dark, to being absolutely alone in a strange place, and to taxis. Now that she knew some of the story, the fact that Gail was still rushing to a job where she could get killed was crazy and brave and terrifying.

Holly put that aside for a moment, smiled and reached over. Gently she cupped the unbruised side of Gail's face. "That has got to hurt."

"It's really not that bad," insisted Gail. It probably wasn't, given everything else that had gone on in her life, but Holly didn't think for a moment that it didn't hurt. She sighed and gently kissed Gail, startling her. It was a soft kiss, a welcome kiss, a real kiss. Gail made a happy noise, winding a hand in Holly's shirt to pull her closer. The kiss became more heated, but a moment into it Gail winced and pulled back.

Holly shook her head. "Yeah, it doesn't hurt," she admonished. "How about we just sit here and watch TV?"

Gail sighed. "I liked the kissing part better."

Since both of Gail's hands were quickly occupied with an icepack and a smoothie, Holly situated herself so Gail could lean back against her and Holly could toy with her hair. Yes, damn it, she loved the hair. "It's growing out. Are you going to keep it short?"

"Dunno. It's just hair, right?" That, Holly had to agree with. "I'm not bleaching it anymore." While the bleach and the pale skin were amazing, the warmer natural colors would be beautiful in a different way.

They made it through one episode of Big Brother and Holly was surprised that the DVR auto played another. Apparently Gail had a backlog. With her jaw hurting, Holly didn't expect much conversation out of Gail and was content to simply sit here, holding her, for another episode. By the third one, Holly thought her brain might melt. "Gail, honey, can we please watch anything else?"

No reply. Holly squinted and realized Gail had fallen sound asleep on her. Actually asleep, too, not the fake sleep. "I should have brought a book," Holly muttered and flipped the TV off. The only thing within reach was a People magazine, which was poor reading, but better than sitting doing nothing.

That was how Dov, sans Chloe, found them when he returned. "Is she…?" he asked quietly.

"Out like a light." Holly carefully took the warm icepack off Gail's face and held it up for Dov, who tossed it back in the freezer.

He walked back over and stared down at Gail for a while. "I asked her to move in with me, when Chris left. Nick had come back, but when I asked her, we both felt alone. She even volunteered to move into the den when Chris came back. I couldn't ask her to leave."

Holly stroked Gail's hair softly. "Thank you for doing that." Dov made a 'hmm' noise and nodded. "How is Chris?"

"Okay. Better. He's working tonight. I'm getting him to NA and all the fun stuff, though... Gail takes him sometimes too."

"I won't tell her you told me she's being nice," smiled Holly.

Dov hesitated. "I love her too, you know. Not like you do. I mean, I did. Or I thought I did. I was on Vicodin and totally confessed to her. Broke up her and Chris. But she never makes fun of me about that." He sighed. "But I do. Love her. She's the family I chose."

That was a surprising statement and Holly nodded. They said nothing more about it, both watching Gail sleep. It had taken Holly a while to understand the levels of sleep Gail possessed, but this particular sleep of exhaustion was hard to fake. "I should probably get her into bed."

"I am going to get out of here before she wakes up and yells at me." He smiled and vanished into the back.

It took a while to wake Gail up. "Honey, you need to sleep in your actual bed." Finally, though, Gail squinted up at Holly and sat up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"You stopped crime and a radio today, honey. It's fine." Holly smiled and caressed Gail's right cheek. "Come on, let me get you into bed."

"No, I'm okay," insisted Gail, getting up slowly and wincing as she touched her own face. "I hope Nick's knee is worse than this. He tripped on the TV and banged it."

"Less visible."

"I know, right?" Gail went to get a fresh icepack and then hesitated. "I'm serious, Holly, I can tuck myself in. Besides, I gotta lock the door."

Holly stretched and stood up, "Dov can let me out."

With the icepack in hand, Gail hesitated. "Could you stay?" Her voice was quiet, almost embarrassed.

They both looked towards Dov's room. "Just to sleep," Holly said slowly. Gail nodded quickly. The presence of roommates certainly would put a halt to any shenanigans, which made it relatively safe. Not that Holly wanted to be safe. She wanted to have been at a romantic dinner and convincing Gail to stay at her place that night.

"You can say no," Gail pointed out, stupidly. "I mean, you already came all the way over here and you have work tomorrow and I don't."

"I don't," replied Holly, smiling at Gail's babble.

"What?"

"I have tomorrow off. It's a holiday? Don't you guys take those off?"

Gail looked embarrassed. "No. I mean, sometimes, but I usually work them so I can avoid my parents."

Nodding, Holly got up and picked up her purse. "Which room's yours?" Gail took her hand and led her into the smallest room and they closed the door. Nothing would happen that night, Holly knew it, but she found herself sleeping the best night she had in months, curled around Gail in a tiny bed in a tiny room, with a light on in the closet.

* * *

"Holy hell, you better not let mom see you." Steve Peck eyed his sister, much to Gail's annoyance.

"She already knows, you moron," snapped Gail. "You know she gets reports on us daily."

"Yeah, well hearing and seeing aren't the same. How can you even see?"

The blurry vision had gone away pretty fast and the pain was really tolerable. "It looks worse than it is, Steve." It was too boring to stay at home and she'd begged Oliver to let her work the desk and admit.

"It better. I brought you the smoothie."

"You should start with _that_ next time," and Gail grabbed the cup. "I can't wait till I can chew again."

Smirking, Steve sat on the edge of the desk. "Messing with you and Holly making up?"

Gail glowered, "I know all your bad habits and Nash is my friend." It was not an empty threat and Steve held up his hands. "Besides, you two just sorted your shit out too."

"True," allowed Steve. "You like her."

"Seriously? Why does everyone want to talk about my personal life at work?"

"When do you give us a chance otherwise, kiddo?"

Challenge accepted. "Buy me a drink tonight at the Penny."

"Oh! You're drinking again?"

"A, single, drink. And I'm not on the fun drugs." She sipped the smoothie and was somewhat disappointed it didn't taste as good as the night Holly came over. "Since when have you counted my drinks?"

"Who said I counted? Drink tonight, on me." And Steve headed back to the bullpen.

That was something to look forward to, at least. Gail might call Holly, but she still felt like walking on eggshells around her. It was too weird and too fragile to assume anything, no matter how passionate things could be. They had to have stability to make it last and Gail wanted Holly. For as long as humanly possible.

Swirling her smoothie, which was very watery, Gail sighed and contemplated how thin the ice of the relationship was. If Holly made her a better person, then she really needed to live up to that. She felt she was about Sophie, talking to her honestly about the adoption situation, asking her what she wanted. When Sophie asked if _Gail_ could adopt her, she'd had to explain why her job was making it a bad idea. With childish logic, Sophie pointed out her mother had been a single mom and that day, when Gail left, Sophie had been angry with her. Three days later, Sophie apologized, but asked if Gail had a boyfriend.

"No, not a boyfriend, sweetie," Gail had explained. "I have someone I like, and we talk about you a lot." Immediately Sophie wanted to know details,which Gail skirted around carefully (was he handsome, did he want kids, and so on). The social worker dropped that bomb for her, asking in front of Sophie if Gail's girlfriend was going to meet them any time soon.

Schooled from an early age not to over react, Gail just watched Sophie's eyes widen as the clue dropped and the reality of why Gail had avoided details was explained. And, with a complete lack of guile, Sophie demanded to know when she could meet the girlfriend, what her name was, and was she pretty? Gail showed a picture and was amused to have Holly deemed 'very pretty'. She promised to ask Holly, but then the stupid radio thing had happened.

When Gail showed up the day before, with her black eye and bruises, Sophie had been appalled. Gail was forced to explain what happened, but promised that Holly was a doctor, and was taking care of her. All that drove Gail desperately into the arms of work, yet again.

Jarring her out of her thoughts was a shout, "Petulant Desk Peck!" Oliver's voice rang out. "Come. I have need of your smiling, discolored face."

She rolled her eyes but willingly ceded the desk to anyone else. "Yes sir, Oliver, sir." She tossed him a salute, which he returned laughingly.

"I need a secretary and you type faster."

"This is an abuse of power."

"Only if I ask you to sit on my lap. Besides, I bring a bribe." He held out a styrofoam bowl. "Little bird told me you're still not chewing."

"Would you convict me if I shot Chloe?" Gail took the bowl and smiled at the ice cream. "What am I typing?" Oliver put his hand on a stack of papers. "Oh, you owe me a lot more than one plain vanilla, Oliver." He promised more and blew her a kiss as he left.

The reports were all old, and dead boring. But it was better than answering phones since everyone left her alone. She finished the smoothie and the ice cream but only a third of the papers. It was time to scrounge the fridge. Without the paperwork to occupy her brain, thoughts returned to Holly. She wanted to talk to her, just about anything without being creepy, and finally had an idea.

_I have apples, oranges, cranberry juice, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and bananas. Is that healthy enough?_

Pulling out the food, she dug the ancient, but effective, blender out from a cabinet. It was probably old when her parents had worked uniforms in 15. The phone dinged.

_Are you eating enough protein right now?_

Probably not. The idea of blended meat was disgusting and that meant scrambled eggs (which she hated) or protein powders. Gail stared at the cabinets and found some whey protein powder that hadn't expired.

_Whey protein?_

_Check the sugar content._

That was enlightening and she put it back. Who knew there was that much sugar in 'protein' powder? Well, besides Holly.

_Yogurt?_

The yogurt was actually hers and was really low in sugar. Greek yogurt without the fruit in it meant no one ate her food.

_If it's the Greek stuff you had in your fridge yes. But not with the juice. Milk would be better._

Perfect. Gail dumped it and everything but the apple into the blender.

_Thanks. Steve found me a smoothie but it wasn't as good as the ones you brought me._

She ran the blender, watching the food pulverize, and got yelled at by a grumpy McNally who had shouted her name a few times. Gail flipped the off switch, "What the hell is that loud noise?"

"Blender?" She gestured at the machine and jiggled the contents. Mostly done. She pulsed it a few more times, getting a wince out of McNally each time. A fringe benefit.

As Gail poured the well blended mix into a tall cup, McNally lingered. "So. You ... Still can't eat solid foods?"

Gail eyed McNally with a frown. "Soft foods are fine. The less chewing, the better."

Fidgeting in the way she did when nervous, McNally poured coffee. "How's Nick?"

That's what she cared about? Of course. Gail rolled her eyes. "Fine. Doctor popped his knee back into place. He has the night desk duty." One person at roll call had implied her day shift roll was because she was a Peck. Oliver, bless his soul, said that was right, because Pecks ask to come back first.

She sipped the smoothie, which was a little thick but tasty. Gail pulled her phone out again to thank Holly and saw the doctor had already replied.

_Don't keep me hanging! How is it?_

_Heaven in a cup_

McNally lingered. God she was annoying, "Okay, McNally, give."

"I don't know how to start." That was new. "I just. I miss being able to talk to you. About stuff. You made more sense about Sam and you didn't let me be stupid and ... I need a friend like you, Gail, and I don't know what to do to fix this."

Gail wanted to just be cruel, but of all the damned things to happen, her phone beeped. Holly. And thinking of Holly made her self-reflective. Gail knew damn well what McNally wanted to talk about and why. She closed her eyes and sipped the smoothie. "Okay. I do."

"You ... You do?"

"It's five words, McNally, follow along okay?" Gail stared at McNally in the eyes. She held up a hand, ticking off a finger for each word. "I'm sorry, it was wrong."

McNally's eyes darted from the hand to the eyes and then she nodded. "I'm sorry. It was wrong." She paused, "Now what?"

Wondering when she became fluent at girl, Gail waved at the table. "Now tell me what _really_ happened. And ... Then you can buy me a drink later." Hopefully Steve wouldn't count.

* * *

_You need friends, Gail. Just let yourself grow._


	17. Stay

**_Chapter 17: Stay_**

_Author's Note: This chapter has a payoff. It's what you're thinking, too._

* * *

When Holly sent the text, offering to deliver sexy smoothies, she was partly joking. Looking at it with no reply for hours made her wonder if she'd spooked Gail. Why was she doing the chasing again? This was the woman who'd ignored her for weeks when scared, and them dumped her life on Holly again. Why was she in love with a damn project girlfriend. As Holly packed up for the day, she was livid. Gail was doing this shit again.

The phone beeped.

_Jesus, Andy is a talker._

The name Andy was familiar. Andy McNally. Only Gail had only called her McNally before.

_Andy?_

_Girl Guide McNally wanted to apologize, so I thought I should listen._

That barely sounded like Gail. Holly hesitated. Gail was listening to an old friend apologize. She wasn't running off and being a brat. Holly felt insanely guilty and relieved. Sitting down, Holly tried to assess her own reaction and feelings.

_Wow. How'd that work out?_

_She's buying me a drink at the Penny._

_Sounds promising._

_Not as much fun as home deliveries from you, though. _

Holly smiled. Okay, she was blowing it out of proportion. She got to her car and considered asking to come to the Penny. But getting more people involved in their recovering relationship felt like a bad idea just now.

_So you're up for going out?_

Holly chewed her lip waiting for an answer.

_Maybe. I'll be home by 8_

So not a long night. That was smart.

_Let me know if you want home delivery then._

Gail replied right away.

_You do not play fair, missy_.

_Sorry. Mature, dealing with her shit, Gail is surprisingly attractive._

This time the delay in replies was probably legit and related to Gail thinking.

_I have Thursday off. Maybe we could hang out again?_

_There's a soccer game._

_You are a mean, mean, woman!_

_Is that a yes or a no?_

_Yes. And you should think about how much I like you, that I'll watch sports with you._

Holly smiled.

* * *

She could see Holly checking her out in the reflection of the oven. "Chop the salad, you perv."

"I am! How come I'm making the salad if you're making dinner?"

"You like rabbit food. I'm making tamales." Gail wrapped the last one and tossed the pan in the oven. Leaning over Holly's shoulder, Gail pondered the salad. "You should put an avocado in there. They're the good fats."

Holly laughed. "How do you know that?"

"This incredibly hot doctor told me that was why I was eating a guacamole smoothie last week." She kissed Holly's cheek and went to put the cookware in the dishwasher.

"Speaking of last week, how's your jaw?"

Gail considered her own black and blue face. "Feels okay. Yellow is not my color, though." The bone had cracked, but not much, so it only ached a little and then only if she touched it the right way. Or slept on it. Strangely it didn't remind her of Perik at all. Possibly because it was the other side of her face. It was a very different sort of pain for a very similar injury. Already, Sophie was over the fear of the injury and asked Gail all sorts of details about the job.

Armed with two avocados, Holly smiled, "Maybe not that shade, no. I'm glad you're feeling better." She paused and then went to chop the avocado.

Smiling, Gail hopped up to sit on the island and watch Holly chop. Once the salad was done, she waited for Holly to cross her path with empty hands and reached out to her, "Hey, come here for a second."

When Holly slowed, Gail pulled her over and looped her hands behind Holly's head. "I thought you were all about taking it slow," smiled Holly. It was clearly not a complaint.

"Fast would be kissing you and wrapping my legs around you." Gail did neither of these and simply smiled at Holly. "Maybe I'll kiss you."

"That would be nice."

Gail smiled and leaned in to kiss Holly. It was soft and warm and so easy to just fall in. "Yeah, that's nice," agreed Gail and she ducked her head down for a second kiss. Holly's hands ended up on Gail's thighs, not gripping them, but in tight fists. There was a tension and Gail could tell Holly really wanted more.

If one of her boyfriends had pulled what Gail did, she'd have dumped his ass and never looked back. That Holly actually was letting her back in was a miracle and a blessing. "Gail," whispered Holly, her eyes closed. "There is such a thing as too slow."

Taking the comment for what it was, Gail pulled Holly a little closer and kissed her again. This time Gail gave in to the craving to kiss like they had before in interrogation and the shower. To kiss Holly with passion and, yes, lust. Holly's hands moved to Gail's waist as she stepped in closer. Gail smiled, breaking the kiss, "I take instructions better, I think."

"Stop talking," whispered Holly and kissed Gail hungrily. It was impossible not to get wrapped up in the kiss and Gail's hold on Holly tightened. It felt so, so good to be kissing her again and a familiar ache was burning for more. Would this be a bad time? It felt right and natural when Holly moved one hand under her shirt. Gail clutched at Holly's shirt, tugging her closer still, winding one leg around to hold them in place.

However, when Holly put her other hand on Gail's face, she pressed harder on the bruise than she meant. Gail yelped and jerked her head back. "Ah, sorry," Gail winced, putting the back of her hand on her cheek to cool it down.

Holly exhaled, "I should be apologizing, honey. I forgot." She tenderly cupped Gail's face. "You really are beautiful." Kissing her softly, Holly went to the freezer. "I have ... Peas."

"It's really okay. I don't think about it." Unless she slept on it or someone touched it. Holly ignored her and wrapped the peas in a dish towel and pressed it to Gail's cheek. Best not to argue, and Gail held it in place.

"I have some arnica upstairs. And Tylenol. Or do you want something else?"

Gail grabbed her arm. "Hey, Lunchbox, you didn't hurt me." But Holly had tears in her eyes. What would Oliver do? "Hey, it's okay." She pulled Holly in for a hug, pressing her safe cheek against Holly's. Holly squeezed Gail tight and sniffled.

Finally Holly mumbled, "Your job scares me." There it was. "You get shot at and hit with radios. Some of you die." She sighed, "I've already picked you up at the hospital."

Putting down the makeshift icepack, Gail stroked Holly's hair. "Oh, Holly," she sighed. All the love in her heart wasn't going to make that any easier to stomach. "That's probably why your friends are worried about us," realized Gail. Holly nodded and Gail felt a little vindicated. "Lisa could work on her words."

That made Holly laugh. "Really? You're going to say that?"

"Hey! I'm growing." But she had to laugh too and in a moment they were both just laughing helplessly. Gail sighed and kissed Holly's cheek. "Do you ... Do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking her head, Holly sighed as well. "No. Not right now." She lightly kissed Gail's bruise.

"_That_ doesn't hurt," smiled Gail. Her stomach interrupted the tender moment and they both laughed. "Okay, I need to eat something, baby."

Holly tilted her head, "Baby."

Gail scrunched her face up. "Lunchbox?"

But Holly kissed her again, "I like it. How about we eat the salad and then your tamales and then..." She trailed off, expectantly.

"Then I have to go home, because I have to work tonight," sighed Gail. Technically this was her breakfast. Holly scowled but kissed her one more time.

"At least I'm getting you to eat salad!"

* * *

"You need to explain this again," growled Rachel. While she was the more forgiving of her friends, she had not been pleasant when faced with Holly's abrupt 180 with the whole moving thing and less with the re-introduction of Gail.

"I told you, after the move didn't happen, we kind of fell back together."

"You mean you took her back."

Holly winced and nodded. She knew Rachel and Lisa were not going to take that well. "We talked."

"Holly, she didn't talk to you for three weeks!"

Lisa added, "And you were moving!"

"I know," sighed Holly. "It's complicated, okay."

Rachel scowled. "I don't like it."

"You broke the rules," added Lisa, with a similar scowl.

"Oh come on, this isn't about the damn move," snapped Holly. "I'm serious about her."

It was amusing to watch Rachel's jaw snap shut. Lisa frowned more. "You're serious about her," Lisa repeated. "You also said no one was going to get hurt."

"Well, if someone hadn't been a classist and gave her a chance, no one would have," snarled Holly.

"I do not understand you," Rachel cut in.

"What's to understand?"

"Well except for telling us she was gorgeous, which she is, and straight, you haven't told us anything! That's not what we do, Holly!" Lisa was angry, but had a point. "You were going to ask her to move with you and don't think you're off the hook there."

Holly took a deeper breath. She couldn't tell them about Sophie, since she still didn't know how she felt about it, but the rest... "She's smart. She picks up new skills insanely fast. She speaks French, beautifully. And Italian. Can't play sports with other people, but I think that's a psychological thing. She hates people, loves kids. She's _amazing_ with kids. Music, she can sing with any pop tune on the radio, but has a massive blues collection. She has this horribly dark sense of humor that I like, she takes the world by the horns. She doesn't take shit from people and ... She gets what I do."

The last was a dig at her friends but Holly didn't regret it in the least. But that was actually important. Gail _got_ her work. And on so many levels, Gail understood what Holly was about. Her friends at least had the grace to look apologetic.

"That isn't fair," muttered Lisa.

"I'm just saying, out of the three of you, only one helped me with that move."

"How serious?" Rachel was thoughtful now.

Holly didn't answer right away. She knew the answer want going to help in the arguments at all. "I'm in love with her."

Looking like she'd bitten a lemon, Rachel put her coffee down. "Holly-"

"I'm serious enough that I want to make this work and I don't want my best friends in the universe to just write me off because they don't want to get to know someone I really care about." A pause. "She said it first."

Both Lisa and Rachel looked at each other. "Okay," Rachel decided. Lisa blustered and Rachel was louder. "I want to meet her again. Maybe she's just not the kind of person who makes a good first impression, _Lisa._"

Holly smiled hopefully. Now she just had to get Gail on the same page.

* * *

Gail whinged, "They don't like me, Holly."

This time Holly was being firm. "They don't know you. You're dark, you're funny, and I love you, so you're going to get to know them." Gail scowled and Holly glowered.

"Fine, I'll be on my best behavior."

"Gail, I'm serious. If you pull that shit again-"

Gail threw her hands up. "I wasn't thinking that!" She sighed. "I am not running out on you or them. I just... I don't think I'm going to enjoy this. We have nothing in common."

"Sure you do."

Rolling her eyes, Gail fell on the couch, "Name me one thing I have in common with Dr. Lopsided Boob Job."

"Me."

Gail blinked and looked back at Holly. She was slightly upset and Gail swallowed. "You're right." She held out a hand and Holly came over, but did not sit. "I'm sorry."

Holly reached out and brushed Gail's hair out of her face. "I know. You don't like people."

"I like you." Gail wrapped one hand in Holly's. "They don't like me."

"Well yeah, you hurt me, dummy."

"Yeah, and you forgave me. And they didn't like me _before_ I hurt you."

"You don't make a great first impression, honey. You tried to arrest me."

Gail snorted. That's what Dov had said. "What reason do they have to like me? I'm not in love with them. They don't know I'm an awesome kisser!"

That won a smirk from Holly. "Oh, don't mention that. Lisa will talk your ear off about the lesbian sex web." With another fond hair tousle, Holly went to the kitchen.

Gail stared after her. "The lesbian sex _what_!?"

* * *

This time, Gail was on her best behavior. She held Holly's hand most of the night and was polite, if terse, to Rachel and Lisa, tolerating their nagging. Both of her friends repeated, many times, that Gail was the luckiest woman in the world and she better not hurt their friend.

When the two went to get drinks, Holly leaned in. "Holding up okay?"

Gail nodded. "I was a jerk. I deserved most of that." She sighed and looked longingly at Holly. "They really care about you."

Holly smiled and kissed her gently. "See, you have something in common." And Gail's eyes drifted closed as they kissed.

"Ugh, again?" That was Lisa.

"Oh shut up about it, BitchTits," joked Holly, and Rachel guffawed.

"What the hell, Holly!?"

But Rachel joined in, "Oh come on. Who slept with her professor's _wife_?"

As one, Holly and Rachel said, "BitchTits."

When Lisa started to protest, Holly added, "Who had a random hook-up and ditched us without a car at the jazz festival in Montréal?"

Again as one, "BitchTits."

Lisa pressed her lips together and spoke before they got further down the chain of The Adventures of BitchTits. "Okay, fine, but I don't make a habit of dating straight girls."

Holly was prepared to counter that but Gail simply remarked, "I'm not straight." Everyone stopped. "What?" Her face was collected and calm, in the way she got when someone was being dense.

"So how _do_ you identify?" Lisa was her most demanding.

"Misanthropist." Gail winked at Holly who laughed. Even Rachel smirked.

That did not appease Lisa, however. "Seriously."

Gail sighed and picked up her drink. "I hate labels, you're worse than my parents." Hiding her smile behind her own drink, Holly squeezed Gail's knee under the table.

"Your family knows?"

"About Holly? Kind of. I haven't told them we got back together, which has nothing to do with Holly. I don't talk to my parents much in general. But I did tell them I was a lesbian at the family dinner." Gail smirked, "I like that word better than gay, Holly. Lesbian." Holly grinned and kissed her quickly. "So very much lesbian," smiled Gail.

Disgruntled but accepting, Lisa moved on and told Holly about her last date. Then Rachel told them about a trip to Paris and Holly glanced at Gail. If she was bored, she was hiding it well and simply listened with her normal bitchy-resting-face expression. This time Holly had made sure to stress the fact that Gail wasn't being bitchy like that, and Lisa had understood.

Speaking of Lisa, she started droning on about the riding instructor at her barn and how she was amazing, and Gail tsked. "Yeah, _she's_ straight."

Everyone stared at Gail again. "I'm sorry, do you even know _who_ I'm talking about?" Lisa was about to be her worst.

And Gail rattled off some information about the instructor, including how she'd come in third at junior nationals twice. "She used to date her instructor in high school. Still does, even though _he_ went after McNally a couple years ago." Holly quickly sipped her drink to hid a smirk.

Lisa was flabbergasted, "Why do you know that?"

"_How_ do you know that?" Rachel was a little louder than necessary.

"We use those stables for training—"

"Gail Peck!" Lisa was floored. "Gymkhana Juniors champion four years running! Reserve senior champ-"

"She means I got second place," Gail explained. "Twice? Twice." Shrugging, Gail replied, "Yes, that would be me."

The reality that Gail was, in fact, not actually as blue collar as all that was known to Holly. The horseback riding was not. "You didn't tell me you rode horses."

"It doesn't come up much anymore. I mean, cops barely ride horses nowadays." She shrugged again, "Pecks have to know. Steve's terrible at it, though. Probably why he rushed for detective."

"She didn't just ride horses, Holly, she was a goddamn genius." Lisa was positively astounded and any lingering snideness seemed to have fallen away. "Why did you stop? Everyone said you could go to the Olympics!"

That was surprising and impressive and Holly looked curiously at Gail, "Because you're a Peck, right?" She smiled and kissed Gail again. In a way, she was grateful for Gail being a target as she didn't have to argue about the move. Again.

"Pretty much," sighed Gail. There was an undertone that Gail was just not going to talk about in front of Rachel or Lisa. "I went to the Academy, not a lot of time for that."

Rachel huffed, "I have to ask... Why a cop?"

"Pecks have been police officers in Toronto for ... As long as Toronto's had police. Family business." Gail caught Holly's hand under the table.

"Don't worry, they don't understand why I'm in forensics either," smiled Holly, squeezing Gail's hand.

It was after dinner, with Gail driving them back to Holly's, that a more real answer came out. "It's hilarious that I'm really only great at the stuff my family wanted me to learn so I could be a cop."

"You're a good cop, Gail, everyone says so."

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to be a _great_ cop." She sighed, "I stopped riding, competitively, because my parents said it was taking too much time away from all the other things I was supposed to do."

Holly frowned, "Why did you decide to join the force?"

There was a long silence and Gail tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. "It was a deal to get them off my back after the wedding. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to, but not as much as they did. They just expected me to do it and part of me felt I was supposed to. But ... The more I think about it, the more it's a thing I have to do. I mean, I get scared too, but when people need someone between them and the crazy, I just don't run away. I can do _that_." She side glanced at Holly. "Sorry, that's not really an answer."

Putting her hand on Gail's shoulder, Holly smiled. "No, I understand." It was hard to explain why she was in forensics. Why she had a need to answer those questions. "Besides, you're not **a** Peck."

Gail laughed, "Oh, really?"

"You're **my** Peck."

After a moment, Gail quipped, "Steve will cry."

Holly could tell Gail was trying defuse the tension. "I'm not about to ask Steve to come inside." Looking at Gail drive, Holly made a decision. She let her voice drift lower, "Spend the night with me, Gail."

While Gail's eyes didn't leave the road, Holly was sure she was being checked out in the mirror. They'd fooled around on the couch since getting back together, but they hadn't been as intimate, physically, as before. It was something they both wanted and just hadn't rushed back into. A flush was rising on Gail's neck. That was an encouraging reaction. So was Gail swallowing and nodding, "Okay."

The tone was so blasé it was pure Gail. "You can say no, honey."

"Uh huh," she replied, her voice a little higher than normal. Clearly she had no intention of declining the offer. Single syllables. Holly smiled smugly and leaned back in the seat.

Deciding not to tease Gail too much while she was driving, Holly stayed quiet until they got to her house and parked in the garage. Gail lingered at the door from the garage for a moment, her face still red. Holly took her hand, "Gail, I want you."

The blush deepened. Gail just nodded and followed Holly inside. When Holly put her purse down on the kitchen island, Gail stepped into her personal space and kissed the side of her neck from behind. Shuddering, Holly tilted her neck for more access. "Holly," she breathed, almost reverently, and brushed her lips against Holly's skin, hands lightly holding her waist.

That was two syllables. Holly sighed and turned around, bringing her hands up to run her fingers through Gail's short hair. They hesitated a moment before kissing, not in trepidation, Holly felt, but out of a need to experience everything anew. The kiss was hungry, no, starving, and Gail wasn't holding back any desires now. She was a little forceful but in a way that felt so right. Holly's pulse pounded as Gail pressed their bodies against each other. "Bedroom," she groaned.

Gail pulled away for a moment, her eyes half closed. "Soon," she agreed, and started to kiss Holly's neck and collarbone. Letting her head tip back, Holly squeezed her eyes shut and gave in to the feeling of Gail's lips on her skin. Oh god, yes. A hand slid under her shirt, touching her ribs, almost touching her breast. The lips were on her chin, and now her lips again, and they kissed.

She wasn't going to be able to keep standing and Holly took the effort to step back and pull Gail with her. "No, now." While Gail's face was still red and serious, her eyes were smiling. "I need you in bed," she informed Gail and led her upstairs.

There was a different kind of shyness in bed this time. The clothes came off faster, before they even got onto the bed, but there was a slower pace as Holly reacquainted herself with Gail's body. She'd lost some weight in the two months since they had last been naked in front of each other, in ways you couldn't easily tell when Gail was dressed. The non sporty girl had new muscle definition. "How did you change that much that fast," Holly wondered, running her hands over ab muscles that had not been quite that noticeable before.

"Lots of running." Gail's voice was still higher, more tense. "It was that or I killed Chloe."

Well, they couldn't have that. It was impressive how fast Gail built muscles and learned things. Holly wanted to take stock of every curve, count every bruise, and measure every inch of Gail's body. She gently touched Gail's left cheek, "Does it still hurt?" The discoloration was faded and nearly invisible, unless you spent a lot of time studying Gail's face.

"Not if you're kissing me." Gail threaded a hand through Holly's hair and pulled her in for a kiss. That was perfection. Their bodies were easing into sync quickly, where it was so simple to know what to touch and where and when and how. This was the easy part of Gail, of loving her. The universe was two people and everything made perfect sense.

And there were hands and lips and hands and finally, finally, release and sleep.

It was still dark when Holly realized Gail was talking. "Right now?" A pause, "I'm not. At home." A longer pause. "Are you sure? ... Well. If you don't, I will." She hung up and rolled onto her back with a groan of annoyance.

"You okay?" Holly yawned, completely awake now.

"Crap," muttered Gail, and she turned to look at Holly. "Sorry, Dov... You know what, doesn't matter right now." She leaned back to toss her phone onto the nightstand and then scooted closer to Holly, reaching over to brush the hair away from her face. "You are so beautiful, Holly," Gail whispered.

Holly blushed. "You're pretty sexy yourself, officer."

"I missed this so much." Gail's fingers trailed down Holly's face to her shoulder, arm, and then dipped under the sheets to find her hip. With a contented sigh, Holly's eyes drifted closed and she reveled in the sensations of Gail's fingers on her skin. She'd missed that too.

When Gail's hand moved to a more suggestive location, Holly curved towards the hand, only to have it inch away. "You're a tease," she muttered.

Lips pressed into her neck and Holly moved to give Gail more access, drawing her arms around the blonde. "Get used to it," Gail warned her. "I'm not leaving this any time soon."

* * *

_This last scene got changed a lot to be more happy._ _And longer. But you were okay with a longer make up scene, right?_


	18. Shots Fired

_**Chapter 18: Shots Fired**_

_Author's Note: This is a shorter chapter, and ends on a cliffhanger. Gail can't catch a break sometimes. Well... Last night she did._

* * *

Three coffees and she still wasn't really awake enough for parade. One of the coffees was Holly's super strong espresso. The second was a depth charge from a coffee house by her own apartment, which had been empty. The third was actually tea, handed to her by Andy.

"You look wiped," Andy remarked, slipping into a seat beside her.

"Long night." She sipped the tea, which was doctored the way she liked. "Thanks."

"Wow. I got a Peck thank you," joked Andy.

"Bite me," Gail grumbled and drank the tea.

"I feel better. You weren't at game night."

"Because that's sooooo much fun." But Andy was giving her a look. "What?"

"You had a date!"

Gail blinked a few times. She hadn't really been talking to Andy much since that day, and in the last three weeks, they'd really just talked about Sam, and Duncan (Gerald, whatever), and other things. Gail had not mentioned her personal life. "Oh. Yeah."

She tried to think about how to talk around it, when Oliver saved her. "Good to see one of my Diaz/Pecksteins made it to work," announced Oliver. "Peck, my office after parade."

So it was going to be that kind of day. Gail tried to put the night out of her mind, pretty unsuccessfully, and peeked at her phone. Messages from Holly but not Dov. Odds were that Oliver wanted to talk about Dov and Chris, so she flipped the sound off and surreptitiously texted Dov.

_Oliver is looking for you - 30 min_

As a child, her parents had drilled into her the need to listen, process, and multitask. Doing it at parade was easy, and she took notes while focusing on the day's routines. "And that's it people. Check the board for your assignments."

Gail glanced at her name on the board as she headed to Oliver's office. McPeck. Damn it, Oliver. Could be worse. At least Duncan could be trusted regularly with other officers now, though she felt a little bad for him being stuck with Chloe. "You wanted to see me, Oliver?" She tried to look bright eyed and bushy tailed, but probably didn't manage it.

"You sleeping okay, Gail?" Oliver looked seriously concerned.

Jesus, you don't sleep one night... "Yep." When she'd slept, it'd been great. It was just that there hadn't been a lot of sleeping. Of course, the not sleeping part had been pretty fantastic too. Make up sex was awesome. She was sure her face was giving her away, but it was hard not to smirk.

Too late. Oliver noticed something. "Uh huh, so. Diaz and Epstein?"

"Not home when I got there." An honest reply.

"Everything okay with you three? Diaz has been weird, I know."

What? "Yeah, we're fine." Generally they watched each others backs, but this wasn't the first time Chris had been left to his own devices at night since he got hooked on drugs.

The desk phone rang and Oliver frowned. "Stay." She shrugged and finished her tea while he grabbed the phone. "Sgt. Shaw... Epstein! Where the hell are you? Uh huh. And Diaz? ... Peck's right here. Where the two of you should be. Get the hell in here."

Gail peeked at her own phone. Sometime between parade and now, Dov had texted her that Chris had been at Nick's and overslept and they were going to an NA meeting. "So. Patrol now?" She gestured at the door as Oliver hung up.

"Just... One thing." He hesitated, in his endearing dad way. "How are you?"

Unexpected. "Fine." An understatement to put it mildly.

Oliver, per usual, didn't buy it. "When a lot of stuff hits us at once, it's really hard to process all of it. And you, you've had a rough couple of years." Where was this going, wondered Gail, frowning. "That case hit you hard earlier this year."

She hesitated. "Yeah, it did."

"And I said things were going to hurt more for a while." Nodding, Gail had to admit that he was right. "Dov said you weren't home last night." Before Gail could ask what the hell was going on, Oliver added, "I asked Dov and Chris to keep tabs on you, after Perik."

Now she was annoyed, "You asked them?"

"They came to me... You were sleeping on their couch sometimes, Gail. Chris worried, and he didn't know what do with you." Oliver looked so pained, Gail felt guilty for being annoyed at him. "I told him that he and Dov should be your friend and watch out for you. Make sure you're not alone."

"Oh. That's... I thought this was about Chris."

"It is. Dov's going to run himself thin right now, looking out for you and Chris and Chloe." Oliver looked serious for a moment, though Gail wondered what he knew about Chris. "So I'm asking, are you okay?" Gail started to reply when Oliver said, "Don't just say 'yeah' okay? I'm serious. You've been through a lot, you're acting tense lately, and then you were out all night and you look... Well you look like you haven't slept. Gail, you're not drinking, are you?"

Gail stared at Oliver. "_What_?" She forgot to be a cool Peck in that exact moment. "That's where you all went?"

"Look, I'm just saying it's been an extra rough couple months, with you and Holly and breaking your face-"

"Oliver, I, literally, slept on my face wrong. Which is the second most annoying about that stupid fracture. I wasn't drinking, I had a beer at dinner and..." She stopped. Damn it. It was Oliver. Gail tried to find that cool-as-a-cucumber Peck face and, as casually as possible, added, "And I spent the night at Holly's."

Oliver blinked. "Holly's."

"Yeah, Holly's."

"So you weren't home because you were at Holly's."

"Oliver, why does _everyone_ need to know about my personal life?" She ran her hands through her hair. They were really intent on ruining a great thing, just because she wanted to hold on to it privately for a while.

"Because we care about you," but he was grinning. "You spent the night at Holly's. So ... Things are good?"

"Don't be an ass, Oliver. I know your secrets."

He smiled more. "We should have dinner. You and your girl, me and mine." She gave Oliver her best 'you are an idiot, please shut up' look, but he smiled. "I'll figure out dates! Go make the streets safer, Peck."

Gail escaped and pulled her phone out.

_Oliver interrogated me about our sleepover._

She tossed her cup away and went to find McNally, while Holly replied.

_I told you to call in sick. You looked exhausted._

_And whose fault is that? Headed on patrol with Andy. I'll text you later._

"McNally! Come on." As expected, Andy was awkwardly talking to Sam. "I'm driving."

That got Andy's attention. "Why are you driving? I got you tea!"

"I got the keys!" She didn't, but she was closer to the garage and thus had the car keys and was in the driver's seat before Andy. "If you're nice, you can pick lunch."

Andy laughed, buckling in, and Gail pulled out of the lot. "You're in a good mood today. Date really that good?" Turning the car down the road to a scruffy part of their patrol, Gail pondered how to explain it. "I mean, what was she like? Or... Was it a she?"

"Yeah, I'm done with men, Andy," she sighed. "Team switched."

"Is it really that good?"

"No scratchy beard stubble or chest hair." Soft lips. Curves. Oh yes, women had everything men were missing. "Way less smelly." That made her think about the heady, mind-spinning smell that was Holly. The way the scent of her skin and sweat circumvented thought. The taste of ... Oh god, how Gail had missed that.

Andy seemed to accept that. "Okay you have a really good point there." There was a pause and Gail's phone beeped. "Is that her?"

"Probably." Gail checked the street. She wanted to check, but she'd been trying to be a better person, and better people don't text and drive.

"So? What's her name?"

Gail sighed. "Holly." That shut Andy up for a moment. "Don't act so shocked, we've been talking things out a lot."

"You didn't cheat on her like you did Nick, did you?"

"Oh, that would have been better on so many levels." And Gail actually detailed the drama for Andy, who asked all the right questions and make the right noises at the right places.

They paused at a perfect moment, Gail's hallway confessional, to check on a gang hanging outside a store. They'd looked like they were dealing drugs, but instead they were swapping thumb drives. Andy insisted on checking one, and they were rewarded with some interesting music.

"That has to be the weirdest deal I've seen," laughed Gail.

"It could have been an illegal software ring!"

"They use torrents for that, McNally, don't you read the notices?" When Andy looked indignant, Gail smirked. "You lose the lunch offer. I'm picking schwarma." She could get some for Oliver too, and try to bribe him off of his idea for dinner double dates.

"That so isn't fair! Man and you got laid last night too." When Andy caught sight of Gail's side eye, she huffed. "Oh come on, you look that tired _and_ you're in a good mood?"

Gail's phone buzzed. It was probably Holly, but she ignored it for now. "Why are we having this conversation, McNally?"

"Oh. I thought... Sorry." When Gail glanced over, she saw Andy looking nervous again. Jesus, she was such a baby sometimes.

"If you start asking me for details about lesbian sex, I will tie you to the roof of this car."

Andy was quiet for a moment, "I think I'm jealous of you two. When did you get emotionally older than me?"

Wasn't that a funny thought. Part of why Gail had liked Andy was that they were the same age when it came to relationships, and similarly stupid. "Steve and I decided the Peck Cycle of Self-Sabotage and Relationship Jenga needed to stop."

"Jenga ... Wow, that makes perfect sense! Pull out the blocks, and boom." Why was Andy the only person who got that metaphor? "You really like her."

"Okay, now we're stopping!" But she smiled. She really liked Holly. The rest of morning patrol was quiet, so Gail pulled up at the middle eastern restaurant. "Ten bucks."

"I'm paying?"

"For yourself. Schwarma, fries, salad, coke. Trust me, it's heaven." Gail walked around the car and held her hand out, "Actually make it fifteen. We'll split Oliver's."

While Andy grumbled, she handed over a twenty. "I want my change, Peck!"

"Change comes from within, McNally!" Gail inhaled as she stepped into the store. It was quiet, as usual for a weekday. "If I wasn't hungry before," she sighed, happily.

"Officer Peck!" The old man behind the counter smiled, looking a little tense. "Your hair's growing out."

"It must be where yours is going, Mr. Abrams." She'd known the man for years, since before becoming a cop, and had always teased him about balding. When she'd shown up with her short hair, he'd been delighted. "Three chicken lunches, please."

"Three, one with no tomatoes, you seeing someone I should know?"

Gail hesitated and decided not to address that today. "My partner and I are bringing one back for Oliver. You know he can't say no to your wife's pita."

"I keep telling you, it's laffa. You should remember." In truth, she did, but the old teasing jokes were the best. Gail watched the old man move about, more stiffly than normal. He wasn't really old, but she wondered if he felt that way.

"You know, I know a great osteopath," she mentioned, pulling out her phone.

His head jerked in a funny, nervous, way. "Can't help getting old," he said, with forced levity.

Maybe it was something personal. Maybe he and his wife were having problems. Gail frowned but tabbed her phone open to answer the texts from Holly, one asking if Gail was going to kill Andy too, and another about lunch.

_Girl Guide McNally and I are getting schwarma. Want one?_

"Mr. Abrams, can you make that four?" Gail suspected it would not go to waste, no matter what. "No tomatoes on that one, too."

"Oh ho," he laughed, seeming to understand right away why there were no tomatoes on the new one. "I should get my wife here to girl gossip you." He would never actually ask, saying before that it was improper to speak to a girl about those things. But he would tease her a little.

_That sounds great. I'll call off the courier._

_He might be sick anyway._

Gail pocketed her phone and studied the building. There was something that felt off today, "Hey, Mr. Abrams-"

"Hay is for horses."

That joke was old. "I thought your daughters were coming back from school for the summer."

His back stiffened. That wasn't good. "Today they're off. Not enough work."

Gail played it cool, "Sucks, doesn't it? Finish all your holidays and now it's dead?"

"Since when have you known my holidays?" The tease was a little forced.

"I remember the one in spring when you're closed for a whole week. The no bread one right by Easter." She knew what Passover was, even if Dov had been made to explain the details once.

Mr. Abrams smiled and handed over two bags. "Cokes?"

"Three Cokes. One Sprite." Oliver would be able to get away with a Sprite, but Celery would hassle him for a Coke. She paid, leaving a tip in the jar, and watched as he scribbled the receipt by hand, "Machine down?"

"My printer is stuck," he sighed. "My son-in-law swears he can fix it." The receipt went in the bag, which wasn't normal, and Gail thanked him. The receipt was always placed on the counter, with the change on top. Always. "Come again, and bring your friends."

She smiled and went back to the car. By the time she got there, she was frowning. "Here, check the receipt for me, will you?" She put both bags on Andy's lap before starting the car.

"Sure. You got my change?" Gail ignored her and pulled up Mr. Abrams name on the computer. Nothing for him or his kids. Or his son-in-law. "What's wrong?"

"Not sure. Maybe nothing," sighed Gail, tabbing through the family. She went back to the wife and started on her family. "Receipt?" The machine hadn't looked broken, and there had been no sign. But.. Why would he hand write the receipt?

Andy pulled it out, "Do I have to check his math?" She absently flipped it over and muttered, "Weird doodle." Doodle? Gail started the car and headed down the block. "It's all wiggles and shapes. What's up with that?"

"Give it here." Gail held out a hand while turning the car.

With a shrug, Andy held it over. "The station's the other way." Gail ignored the question and looked at the receipt. It wasn't doodles. "Gail, I know you got top scores on the driving course, but, um, can you look at the road?"

Instead, Gail swung into the alley behind the stores and stopped the car. "Shut up for a minute, Andy," she said quietly and stared at the paper. Those were not doodles. It was Hebrew script. She'd seen it before. Pulling out her phone, Gail saw three texts from Holly, but skipped them to take a photo of the receipt and send it to Dov. "Andy, ask dispatch to get Dov on the radio and translate what I sent him."

There must have been something in her tone, because Andy did it right away. The phone pinged her back with a translation. "Please help. Hostage." Gail was out of the car calling for backup, drawing her gun, "Andy, go around the front and tell Mr. Abrams we're missing an order of fries or something."

"That's your plan? Not waiting for backup?"

"He didn't say armed." Gail wasn't stupid, nor overly brave. She was confident though. Leaving her cell in the car, Gail waved Andy off and crept along the alley. People like Andy and Swarek ruled with their gut. Pecks used their brains, and Gail was no exception to that. Mr. Abrams had been glancing at the back. There was someone held back there.

"Store's closed now." Andy's voice was low and quiet in the radio. "Sign says back in 15."

"Copy," replied Gail.

She heard Andy knock on the door and ask, loudly, "Excuse me, Mr. Abrams?" Smart, smiled Gail. Andy was going to keep up the facade of a lost item.

Gail reached the back door and put her ear to it. She could hear people talking. "Just ignore her and she'll go away." That voice didn't have the same lilt or accent of the Abrams family. She looked at the basement windows, the small hinged ones, but they were closed. The lights were on. Gail oozed forward. "Andy, can you see anything?"

"Negative." Their voices were low. "Door isn't locked."

"Hold on." Gail leaned forward and looked in the window quickly. It had taken her years to train her eyes to be able to look at a room and lock it in her mind in that split second. "Two men. Mrs. Abrams is tied to a chair. Can you go in without making the bell jingle?"

There was a pause. "I think so."

"Okay, I'm going in the back." Gail stepped back to the door and turned the handle slowly. No sound. She pushed it lightly. Thank god for good maintenance, there were no squeaks. Waiting a long moment, Gail made sure none of the sounds changed, and slowly closed the door behind her. Pause. Wait. Listen. "I'm in," she told McNally.

"I'm in," repeated McNally. "Visual?"

"They're down the stairs." It was a poor tactical plan to charge them, and neither one of the officers suggested it. Even if it was only three steps, they didn't have a clear view.

"Second exit?"

"Negative." Gail checked her gun. "Front rooms?"

"Cleared." Andy stepped in from the front and nodded.

They took up flanking positions on either side of the door, listening carefully. The two strange men were talking about drugs. Andy and Gail shared a confused look, as the captors demanded the Abrams tell them where the drugs were.

Gail touched her radio, "Dispatch, 1521, what's the status on backup?"

"1521, dispatch. Backup is twenty minutes out."

"Copy. Hostage situation is drug related."

"Copy, drugs and guns units alerted."

They should wait. Protocol was protocol. But then they heard the sounds of someone being hit. It was possibly the only thing she and Andy would agree on. They locked eyes and nodded, Gail dropping low, Andy staying high. One step, Gail in front. Two steps, gun safety off. Three steps, turn.

"Police! Freeze!"

* * *

_I had to stop here, didn't I? Cliffhanger!_


	19. Talking to Strangers

_**Chapter 19: Talking to Strangers**_

_Author's Note: I see I'm evil for the cliffhanger. You're welcome :) I love how y'all only worried because Andy, the crap magnet, is involved. Personally I think Holly needs to stop coming to 15. Seriously. Girl's a bad luck charm. And no, Gail did not know Hebrew like that. She knew she was at a Jewish restaurant, she's seen the posters and such stuck to the billboards in there, and she knows Dov's Jewish. The odds were in her favor it was Hebrew.  
_

* * *

It was bad that every time she heard about shootings and 15 Division, Holly rushed to the station. In this case, Holly was actually at the station when she heard that Gail and Andy were involved in a shooting.

Seated at a desk was a very tired looking Dov. "Hi, Dov. Do you know where Gail is?"

He blinked at her. "Dr. Stewart. Uh, Gail's out with Andy. Were you supposed to meet her?"

"She asked me to meet her for lunch." Holly eyed Dov. "You _can_ call me Holly."

Dov looked sheepish, "I just figured out where Gail was... I'm sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night."

"It's alright." She really hadn't minded, though going to her work physically exhausted was less of a problem than Gail doing the same. "Can you see where she is?" Holly gestured at the computer.

"Oh!" Dov reached for his keyboard when an alert went off from dispatch, calling in a hostage situation. The car number caught Dov's attention. "Crap, can you hang on a second?" Without waiting for an answer, Dov bolted to the office in back.

Holly sighed and sat down, wondering why cops were so weird, when an announcement came in for backup on the officer involved shooting. Assistance needed for officers McNally and Peck. Shots fired.

Her blood felt cold and Holly ceased to hear anything around her. She wasn't sure she was even breathing. "I got it, Epstein. Go, take Other Peck." The names pierced her horror, and she turned to see the white shirt. Oliver Shaw. "Hey, Holly, come with me for a minute, okay, darling?"

She had heard him call Gail that, darling, and without processing much, Holly followed him to his office and allowed Oliver to sit her on his couch. "Shooting?" Her voice shook.

"You just sit and breath for a moment, Gail's gonna kill me if you pass out." The use of present tense caught Holly's attention. "She's fine. Andy's fine. They're waiting on guns and drugs to take over the scene."

"But ... Shooting?"

"Hey, hey, I know that's scary stuff, okay?" He sat down next to her. "They had everything under control. No one got hurt, okay?"

Holly felt like she was about to cry and Oliver pulled her in to a hug. Waterworks. "We just... I just..."

He patted her back gently, like a father. "I know." And Holly suddenly understood why Gail adored this man. He was a rock in a storm. A gentle, wonderful, soul. "It takes a while to get used to this kind of thing, if you ever do," he told her. "My wife never did. Celery, she gets it."

"Celery?" Holly blinked at the name.

"My girlfriend. Gail didn't tell you?" He sighed. "You two should talk. You and Celery I mean. We cops, we do crazy things like get shot at or kidnapped or hold grenades. And you, you crazy people who love us... I think it's harder for you."

Holly shuddered and let go of Oliver. "I was coming by for _lunch_," she whispered.

Handing over a box of tissues, Oliver smiled. "You're having schwarma too? Perfect, it'll help."

Really, Holly had no idea how that would help, but a cup of tea did. Oliver had her wait in his office, and he ran back and forth, bringing her news of where Gail was, her ETA, and promises that the food would be good. It did help calm her down, surprisingly, and Holly was able to erase most of the signs of crying by the time Andy and Gail arrived.

She heard them first, and Oliver asked Andy to come with him, sending Gail to his office. "Hey, sorry the food's cold," she said quietly, closing the door. There was a smudge of dirt on her face.

"You were shot at," whispered Holly.

Gail sat beside her, reeking of sweat. "Yes," she sighed. One hand rested on Holly's knee.

Her hands started to shake again, and Gail took the tea mug away. "Is it always going to be like this? People throwing radios at you and shooting at you?" Gail took her hands and said yes, softly. "I don't know how anyone can live like that," she whispered, looking at Gail in fear.

Stiffening, Gail looked down at their hands, "This is what I do, Holly." She sighed, "I wish I could promise I'll always be safe, but ... This is what I am."

It was clear that Gail thought Holly was about to dump her. The only way to explain otherwise was to hug her, and Holly buried her face in Gail's neck. She didn't care that Gail smelled nasty or that she was still dirty. She cared that Gail came back to her. "Promise me something."

"Anything," agreed Gail, her face pressed against Holly's hair.

Holly knew she was about to ask something unreasonable and impossible to hold Gail to, but she said it anyway. "Always come back to me."

* * *

The negotiations with Holly had been harder than with social services. All social wanted to know was how serious Gail was about Holly, since she hadn't mentioned her before except to Anne. Holly, on the other hand, wanted to know what _Gail _expected of her. After patiently explaining she just wanted them to meet, possibly to be friends, and if not, Holly never had to see or hear about Sophie again, Gail was surprised by a glare.

"Gail Peck, don't do this. Don't chase me away."

"I'm not! I'm just... I'm trying not to pressure you or-"

"It _feels_ like you're making me decide if I want you and Sophie or nothing at all."

Gail took Holly's hands, "No. I swear no. That's not at all what I'm saying." She chewed her lip. "I love you. And yeah, I love this kid, but it's not the same thing."

But Holly was not convinced, "I don't know if I want kids... No... I _don't_ want them, Gail. Not right now, maybe not ever. So this is a big thing."

"Okay, I understand that." She studied Holly's face. "It I was volunteering as a big sister or mentor, would you be okay with it?"

Blinking, Holly nodded, "Sure."

"Well, that's what this is now."

Holly frowned, "If they'd said you could adopt... Where would _we_ be?"

"I don't know. I don't know that I _can_ know, Holly." She drew Holly's hands up to her mouth and kissed them lightly. "I want a lot, and I know I'm asking a lot right now. I kinda got into this without you, and I didn't expect, I didn't even dare to dream I could have this back. I'm as lost as you are, baby."

In the end, Holly agreed to meet Sophie. The girl, upon seeing Gail, sprinted away from her social worker to get a huge hug. Immediately she started telling Gail about how she was learning French, and proceeded to flaunt her vocabulary. When Gail replied in kind, Sophie cheered, announcing she knew Gail would know French. Only then did Gail lead her over to where Holly was sitting with the social worker.

"Sophie, remember I told you about my girlfriend?"

The little girl looked up with curious eyes at Holly. "She's prettier in person," Sophie said, in the childish whisper that was not quiet at all.

"Why do all your friends say that?" Holly blurted the question and then blushed.

"Because it's true," Gail smiled and sat down next to Holly. "Sophie, this is Holly." Hands were clasped in a very adult manner.

After a moment scrutinizing Holly, Sophie declared, "You don't look like a doctor. Gail said you were a doctor and took care of her after she stopped a radio with her face."

"I'm a forensic pathologist." Noticing Holly's hand shaking, Gail reached over and took it in her own.

The action was not missed by Sophie, but she was more interested in Holly's words at them moment. "What does that mean?" So Holly explained, in broad terms, that she helped find out why people died. This led to a few more related questions about how Holly and Gail worked together sometimes, and finally, "Did _you_ find out how my mom died?"

Holly looked panicked and stared at Gail. "No, she didn't," replied Gail calmly, squeezing Holly's hand in support. "But we met at a crime scene." And she easily distracted Sophie from that topic by telling her how she'd tried to arrest Holly at the scene.

The intentional inaccuracies in Gail's story made Holly step in to correct her, and soon they were bantering about the day. Sophie giggled and claimed Gail's free hand, leaning against her to continue talking to Holly. They quickly found common ground in movies, both having loved _Frozen_ (though Gail got a light glare from Holly when Sophie leaked that Gail had taken _her_ first).

After a while, Gail and the social worker stepped away to talk about the current status of Sophie's situation, as well as the idea Gail'd had, but also to let Holly and Sophie talk a little more privately. Holly had barely noticed Gail left until she came back and kissed her cheek, "Come on, you nerd, it's time to go."

Sophie pouted but hugged Gail tight. "She's nice. I like her." This time, Sophie remembered to keep her voice quiet.

"I like her too," Gail whispered back.

The conversation was repeated in the car, with Holly, though not in whispers. The difference being Holly added, "I see why you like her. I worried it was just guilt."

"You, my therapist, social services, and everyone else," acknowledged Gail, sighing.

"Speaking of social services..."

Gail pursed her lips and turned the car down a different direction than Holly's place. "Someone I know might kinda be a good fit."

"Someone ... Peck?" Holly looked worried.

"Ew, no. Someone sane. Remember the wedding?"

Holly laughed, "I don't think I can forget, honey." Then she caught on, "Wait, _they'd_ adopt her?"

"Foster," corrected Gail. "I asked Noelle for advice when I started this, cause she did the whole IVF thing for a kid and... Well she's still on maternity leave, but she was interested when I brought it up." That had been weird, asking Frank if she could come over to talk to them.

Frank had been surprised, but he'd also been the frequent recipient of political workplace bullying by Elaine Peck, and having her daughter talk to them about fostering a kid because _she_ couldn't was, they all agreed, really not what they'd expected. Noelle was amused at how much Gail had grown, and said she'd think about it, in a way Gail read as 'I will talk Frank into this.' The girl network was amazingly powerful.

This was explained to Holly, who was very quiet. "You'd be cool Aunt Gail?"

"I guess, yeah."

More silence, and Gail pulled up at a quiet French restaurant. Holly remained quiet as they were seated and until they ordered. "I think I could be okay with being Aunt Gail's girlfriend."

Gail covered her smile with a sip of her iced tea. "Thank you, Holly."

With a sigh and a smile, Holly reached across the table to touch Gail's arm. "You're very persuasive, honey. And clearly deficient in musicals, cartoons, and sci-fi. Someone has to help her!"

* * *

"Do you want kids?"

Gail froze where she was, her lips just starting to move from Holly's collarbone to regions southern. "What?" She pulled her head up, perplexed and flustered, fingers still on the buttons of Holly's blouse.

"Kids." Holly managed to force her voice into calm and casual, trying not to let Gail's hands get the better of her. She even tugged Gail back up to settle in an easy cuddle on the couch.

There was a frustrated grumble from Gail, but she rested her head on Holly's shoulder. "Yes, I want kids." Gail's hand slipped under her shirt, fingers roaming over Holly's stomach. "Why?"

Holly squirmed, "I don't really right now."

"I know that, you dork," laughed Gail, surprising her. "You told me before."

"Oh. I just thought... I mean, with Sophie and all..."

Propping herself up, Gail frowned at Holly. "Are you worried I'm going to leave you because of kids?"

No. Holly was more worried Gail was going to leave her because she was dead. There was a scratch on Gail's arm right now, caused by nothing more than a failed attempt at learning soccer, but it worried Holly nonetheless. "Yes," she replied. "I don't want you to get dissatisfied. Regret not having kids in thirty years."

Gail made a soft noise and kissed Holly's neck. "Thirty years, huh? You see us together that long?"

Holly swallowed a dry throat. It was a measure of her fear that she realized she'd rather talk about kids than make out with Gail just now. It had been getting worse, and she knew it. The more she thought about what Gail did, the dangers, the more she wanted Gail here with her safe. The more she wanted to touch her, like Gail was touching her right now.

But at the same time, the constant little things were driving her crazy. Ok, being shot at was a big thing. The bruises, the sore muscles, the aching back, the feet, the headaches, were wearing on Holly. She found herself constantly panicking every time Gail so much as winced. It was worse when she caught Gail taking extra time stretching before they ran. Was something wrong?

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" Gail had stopped kissing her and the hand on her stomach stilled.

"Sorry," mumbled Holly and she squirmed out from under Gail, feeling a need to put distance between them.

Gail frowned, "Don't you go up a tree, Holly." Her voice was tender. She pulled her legs up to sit cross legged on the couch, facing Holly. "Yes, I want kids. I love them. But they don't have to be _my_ kids. I want them in my life. That doesn't mean they have to be in my house."

"You wanted to _adopt_ on your own!"

"Sophie was different. Is different."

"What if there's another Sophie?"

Looking thrown, Gail exhaled sharply. "Well. Okay, what if _you_ have a Sophie?"

Holly blinked. She had never loved children like Gail, and she wanted to say it was impossible. Gail loved them because they weren't people yet, but Holly feared them for the same reason. Neither she nor Gail really understood people like Dov or Oliver did. Motive was different. Understanding people who knew who _they_ were was hard enough. Understanding people who were figuring it out? Just look at her record with straight girls.

Gail reached over and put a hand on Holly's leg. "I love you, Holly. I'm not running away, I'm not giving up or settling or anything else. I want to be here, with you."

Holly nodded, but didn't say anything. She had doubts. She would, possibly, always have them. But now, this time, she let Gail's gentle touch turn her face and bring her into a kiss. There were too many things to fear right now, with Gail getting hurt again, or changing her mind about kids, or what about men? It was all just too much sometimes.

* * *

Gail sprawled on Holly's bed, giving in to the feeling of absolute relaxation seeping into her bones. Hands pressed down on her shoulders again and Gail groaned. "Not too hard?" Holly's voice was soft.

"No, it's great."

Holly continued to massage Gail's shoulders, "Good." She moved her hands to Gail's neck and gently pressed on the muscles. She was sitting on the back of Gail's thighs, which was exceptionally comfortable.

"I hate softball," muttered Gail.

"You're supposed to slide feet first." She could hear Holly smirking. "And you don't slide into first at all. I told you you could overrun it down that path."

"That pitcher was going to touch me with the ball, and I know that means I'm out."

"She would have had you out by touching the bag, silly."

"I'm never playing with you again."

"The fact that you are topless in my bed suggests that may be a lie, Ms. Peck."

"That's Constable Peck to you, evil doctor." She winced when Holly pressed on a sensitive spot on her back.

"At least you're not going to tease me about hurting my back hitting a home run anymore."

"Says who?"

Holly laughed, "Gail, you tried to dislocate your shoulder sliding into first base!"

"And who hit the ball that scored a touchdown?" There was no reply and Gail smirked. "I know it's called a run."

"You are insane." Holly moved off Gail's legs and kissed the sore shoulder. "Need anything?"

Sitting up, Gail carefully rotated her shoulder and grimaced, "Yes. Do you have any Tiger Balm?"

"No, but hang on." Holly kissed her briefly and vanished into the bathroom. She was spending a rather large amount of time damaged at Holly's place. Of course, it was somewhat normal for Gail to come home banged up and bruised. It was not normal for Holly. "Salonpas," announced Holly, coming back with a patch. She carefully applied it to the stiffest part of Gail's shoulder.

It didn't smell as strong as Tiger Balm, thought Gail, and she tried to see what it was. "Is this like icy hot?"

"Similar, but they had better double-blind results. And you can wear a shirt." Holly held out Gail's shirt. Her eyes darted around Gail's body, doing an inventory. When they stopped on the discoloration on Gail's ribs, which was from bouncing off a car door last week chasing a perp, Holly turned away. This was not the first time Holly had stopped looking at Gail's body, and it was starting to get worrying.

"I was thinking I'd walk around topless for the rest of the day." But she took the shirt and put it on, following Holly out of the bedroom. They hadn't really talked about things regarding Gail's work since the schwarma case. While Gail cheerfully accepted free schwarma for life, and grumpily took the commendation for being the reason a drug smuggling ring was discovered, Holly had been tight lipped about the whole thing.

Actually, Holly had been very hands off lately, in the physical sense. They'd run around and had fun, hiking and playing softball (not that Gail would admit it was fun at all). But other than kissing, there had been a dearth of physical intimacy. Gail was pretty sure Holly was still creeped out about the shooting that wasn't even a shooting. The idiot drug runner/kidnapper shot his own damn foot! Andy and Gail hadn't ever laughed so hard giving statements before.

"That would make dinner interesting," joked Holly, but her voice was too tense to make it funny.

While it would be easier to climb a tree, Gail took a deep breath. "Hey, can I ask an awkward relationship question?"

Holly paused on the last step of the stairs. "That you're asking it that way fills my heart with terror, Gail."

"It's … I love you. You know that, right?"

"Was that your awkward question? Because yes, I know, and no, it's not awkward."

"No. I just want you to know I'm not, like, trying to break up or anything stupid like that!"

"Not helping," and while Holly smiled, it was a tense look.

This was not a conversation that was going to be easy, and Gail knew it. But when your girlfriend started getting weird about touching you, or looking at you, and stopped sleeping well, you had to do _something_, didn't you? Scratching the back of her head, Gail grimaced. "Does it bother you, me coming here banged up all the time?"

"Yes," admitted Holly, faster than Gail had expected. "I hate it." She looked down the staircase and away from Gail, her face tightening up.

"I don't have to—"

"Please don't say you don't have to come over when you're hurt, or I'll never see you." Holly's voice sounded tense, and she walked into the kitchen.

Defensively, Gail wanted to point out it wasn't _every_ time, but the reality was at least every week she had something new. Usually it was something strained or sore, but sometimes it was a bruise from an arrest. Gail was adrift for words. Not at a total loss, as she had an idea where to go with the conversation. She leaned against the stairwell. "Okay," she said to buy some time. "What do you hate about it?" She had a good idea, but just in case she was off base, Gail figured she should ask.

With one hand on the refrigerator door, Holly stood perfectly still. "All of it. Every time I see you, you have a new bruise, or something hurts, or you're sore. Like, last week when you were limping? I had this whole terrible, horrible story in my head that you'd kicked a drug dealer or twisted your ankle jumping a car, or ... Pretty much anything except having a stupid ingrown toenail because your nail clipper was old." Holly turned to look at Gail. She wasn't crying, which didn't help Gail understand her mood in the slightest. "I hate that I have five ice packs in my freezer, just in case you come over hurt again. And I hate worrying that I'm going to hurt you when I touch you when you come here. Or that you're going to call me from the ER again or, or worse."

The fact that Holly dumped all that so fast meant Gail was right about needing to talk. And she was right about exactly what was going on. "Okay," she said slowly. "Do you want me to take the sergeants exam?"

Holly looked blank for a moment. "What does that have to do with anything?" Thankfully she didn't sound angry, just confused.

"White shirts don't generally get involved in the psychical stuff." It was more boring, in Gail's opinion, but she wanted to see where Holly's mind was at.

Scowling, Holly pointed at Gail. "You are _not_ quitting your job to sit at a desk and order people around. And you don't want that."

That escalated quickly. "Good? I ... Holly let's sit down okay?" They moved to the living room but Holly kept standing. Oh good. Gail sighed and sat down on the couch, looking up. "I don't want you to be scared every night."

"You're a little late on that, Gail." Holly's snide reply was on par with Gail's best.

Any enjoyment Gail found in Holly's ability to give as good as she got was lost by the truth of that statement. "There are other cop jobs that aren't as dangerous," she said softly.

"Yeah, and I'd still freak out if you came home with a hangnail!" Holly looked bitter and before Gail could comment, she added, "Yes, I know how unfair I'm being."

Gail took another deep breath. She couldn't believe she was about to say this. "Holly. I think you she see a therapist." Never before had Gail seen Holly's face shut down like that. "Don't tell me I'm being unreasonable, Holly," she continued softly.

"I really don't want to talk about this." Holly folded her arms in a posture Gail read as defensive and scared.

"I know." She pitched her voice the same way she did when talking to children. This was a time to be careful and kind. "But I'm a cop. And it's scary." Her standard of using small words might backfire here, but Gail held on to that. The theory was that if you lowered the wall, it was easier to talk about things.

Holly turned away, but did not walk away. "Were you scared about your parents?"

"Not often," she admitted. "But I was ... They're older, you know? By the time I was born, they both had desk positions." Gail sat back, trying to project the aura of comfort and safety. "I was more worried someone would shoot them at a press conference or something public." She remembered crying to Steve about assassination fears.

Facing away, Holly's back stiffened. "Great, so even if you get a desk job, you'll still get shot at."

"Well. Yes." There was no point in lying or trying to make it light. "I'm a Peck, Holly. I'm always going to be a target of something."

Holly didn't say anything for a little while, and Gail let her wait. Luke taught her that waiting people out had a power all it's own. "Does it help you? Talking to a stranger?"

Exhaling, Gail looked at the ceiling. In public, she made a lot of wise ass comments about therapy. It was no secret that she hated the department therapist, and being made to talk to anyone stuck in her craw. "Sometimes it does. I don't really have anyone to talk to about stuff."

That got a reaction. Holly pivoted and looked absolutely hurt. Quickly Gail reviewed what she'd just said. Her mother had always stressed she memorize what she said, so she could regurgitate it in court later, and Gail had found it to be a strange benefit to a relationship with a woman. Rarely had she ever found a need to do this dating guys. "You don't have anyone?"

Gail winced a little. "Well. No. Not about some things. I mean, I couldn't exactly talk to _you_ when we weren't an _us_, could I?" It was rational. Hopefully Holly could understand that. "And right now, I really don't think you'd be okay with me telling you why I'm annoyed about the stupid commendation, 'cause every time I mention it, you get _that_ look on your face." She pointed at Holly, who was currently wearing a closed expression, clearly unhappy and trying to hide it with blankness.

Called out, Holly tried to force her face into any other expression and failed. "What look?"

"The one that says 'I'm really freaked out about my girlfriend getting hurt, to the point that I'm not really sleeping well, I'm scared to touch her, and it's a problem I don't want to talk about.' And … I can't believe _I'm_ saying this, but I do want to talk about it."

Holly's face tightened. "It's not …" She stopped and tightened her arms around herself.

Okay. Here was the hard part. Gail looked at her own hands for a moment and then, slowly, made herself watch Holly's face. "If you can't deal with this, it's okay."

She did not want to say it at all. The very idea that she was trying to give Holly an out burned. But being with someone who was going to be miserable with you wasn't fair to either of you. Gail learned that with Nick, twice, and she'd be damned if she did that to Holly.

It was a little gratifying to see the abject shock and horror on Holly's face. "You're giving me an out?" She was a little incredulous.

Gail put her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her hands. "No, I'm reminding you that you have one."

After a moment, Holly looked away. "I don't want to be the bad guy, Gail."

"You're not," replied Gail, earnestly. "I've just— I've seen a _lot_ of relationships fall apart over this. Oliver, my godfather, my aunt, cousin Larry. And it's stupid, right? Because you fell in love with me for who I am, and what I am, and now it's making it all hard and weird and I know you love me, but it's hard. When I get hurt, which is gonna happen, it's gonna be painful for you. And, baby, I have a lot of baggage."

Holly's arms twitched, but she stayed where she was. "I don't want a therapist to tell me the best thing is to leave you," Holly said in a small voice.

Puffing a laugh that wasn't funny at all was all Gail could do. "God, neither do I."

"What if they do?"

In Gail's experience, it had never come to that, but she could imagine it might one day. "Then maybe that's the right thing for us." It took monumental effort to keep her voice relaxed, and Gail was abruptly grateful for years of police work. Though she was never going to tell Holly she treated her like a terrified witness.

Finally Holly sat down, though not beside Gail. She took a seat on her coffee table. "I'm scared," she said, staring at Gail's knees. "About us."

Gail reached out one hand and put it on Holly's knee, trying to be comforting. "Me too." She'd lost Holly once before, and the idea of telling her it was okay to leave was horrible. If given the option, she'd rather watch Dov and Chloe make out than even consider this.

One of Holly's arms wormed out of it's protective shield enough to cover Gail's hand. They both sat there, looking at their hands, for a long time.

* * *

_Don't panic! They're not breaking up at all, they just have some things to work out. And that's why there's one more chapter for this part. Chapter 20 doesn't even get you to the half-way point of this fic. Yikes.  
_


	20. Power of Two

_**Chapter 20: Power of Two**_

_Author's Note: There are things to be dealt with now._

* * *

Science was great. You could put the right formulas in and there were answers, solutions. You never had to speculate on their meaning, unless you were a cop like Gail, you just had to process evidence and study bodies and report the findings. And damn it all, Holly loved that about science. Working backwards to figure out that someone had lived in another country based on the density of their bones was, as Gail would say, the shit she lived for.

The fluffy 'science' of psychiatry was not Holly's cup of tea.

If she'd have her way, her brain would cheerfully accept the fact that Gail had a high stakes, high risk job, and move on. Her brain had other plans, like waking up and freaking out when Gail wasn't in bed. Which wasn't uncommon, even when Gail _was_ spending the night. She caught herself listening to the reports from dispatch more often, straining to hear if anything was happening at 15. And she was afraid to _touch_ Gail half the time.

Which is why she agreed with Gail, and ended up going to talk to a therapist. She was entirely annoyed with the necessity, and after a weekly visit for a month, entirely displeased with the current results. There weren't answers for any of the problems in her head, just more questions and poking at them to talk about them. It was like inviting the worlds neediest girlfriend into your life, and having them badger you for an hour.

It wasn't helping much that Gail didn't come over on nights when Holly had talked to the therapist either. Initially, Holly had been surprised that Gail didn't want to have dinner after her session. "You won't want to," Gail had said both knowingly and cryptically. And that first time, she was annoyingly correct. Holly's head had felt full and confused and talking to Gail, or even looking at her, was painful to contemplate.

That wasn't how she felt right now, and as soon as she pulled into her garage, she yanked her phone out to call Gail. "You suck," she informed her girlfriend, not giving Gail a chance to say hello.

"Ooookay," drawled Gail. There was a muffled sound, Gail talking to someone else, and then a door closed. "What did I do?"

"You and your stupid therapy idea. This is stupid. It sucks, and I hate it and it's not doing me any good. I still hate you getting hurt, and I'm still worried about you."

Gail sounded amused, "Baby, I really don't think _that_ is gonna change."

"Then _why_ am I going," wailed Holly, throwing her fridge door open. She stared at the take out boxes which had not been there that morning. "And why do I have food in my fridge. Were you over?"

"Yeah, I picked up your usual 'I am grumpy' order from the Chinese place."

"I'm not grumpy! I'm pissed off at wasting my time and money." She put an assortment of the take out on to a plate. "Four weeks. Four hours, where I sit in a room and she doesn't even ask me questions half the time!" Holly slammed the microwave door and stabbed the reheat button hard enough to make her finger hurt. "I mean, she doesn't even ask me _why_ I'm worried about you in the first place! Or why it scares me. Which, no thanks to her, I figured out was because I'm in love with you and I don't want to lose you. Duh, thanks a lot." Holly huffed and looked at her finger. In the silence, she realized Gail hadn't spoken for a while. "You're very quiet."

"I was waiting for you to finish." Gail sounded exceptionally polite. "You didn't say that before, you know."

Holly paused and tried to think about what she just said. "Say what?" More than once, Gail had repeated, word for word, something Holly had said. It was creepy, and Holly asked her not to do it anymore. Especially if they were fighting.

"You said you're in love with me and didn't want to lose me."

"What? I never said that before?"

"Nope." Gail popped the P in nope.

Holly frowned and took her food out of the microwave. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Sometimes," allowed Gail. "But, y'know, I'm all fuzzy inside now. It's nice."

That was a strange thing to contemplate. "Do I not say I love you?"

"You do."

Which meant the other part, about not wanting to lose Gail, had been unsaid. Holly stared at her dinner, confused, and thought back over the day. "I've always thought that. I hated it the first time. I don't want you to be just ... Gone." So why had she not said it before? "Oh. Shit."

"Hm?"

"Son of a bitch, that goddamned therapist!" Holly groaned and covered her face. All this time she'd just not been willing to say that out loud? "Am I an idiot?" How stupid did you have to be to not know that you were afraid of losing someone to the point that you couldn't say it. "Why is just _saying_ this making me feel better?"

There was a laugh on the phone, "Did I tell you about the dinner with my family? The one you were gonna come to?"

"You ... No." Holly knew that sometimes Gail would go on a tangent that didn't feel at all related, but would loop back around.

"Steve and I went, solo, and it was epically horrible. Every way you could imagine. And my mother said that now that I broke up with you, she had a nice young man I should meet."

Holly scowled. "I'm mad at her right now. Is that okay?"

"Join the club. I'm President, Steve's the Treasurer." Gail chuckled. "So I told her that I was a lesbian."

Out of nowhere, Holly felt _better_. She smiled and felt her face warm up. "At dinner?"

"Yep. I said I was a lesbian and asked Steve to pass the salt."

Holly giggled. "What did Steve do?"

"Passed the salt, duh. But. That was the first time I said I was a lesbian to them, out loud. And it felt _good_. Like everything was going to be easier. I didn't care who knew I was into women, I mean, it was kind of obvious, right? But saying it changed how freaked I was about it."

Which was why Holly was feeling better. "How come you're smart about this?"

"I have a lot more issues, baby. You should eat dinner before you have to re-reheat it."

Holly sighed. The daunting realization that Gail was getting smart about dealing with her shit simply because she had that much to deal with was depressing. "Will you come over?"

There was hesitation on the phone. "You sure?"

"I think... I want to see you. I don't want to talk about everything, but I want to hug you." She paused and felt herself blushing. "I don't want to be _alone_ right now."

After a moment, Gail exhaled and replied in the best way. "Okay. I'll be right over."

* * *

"I'm not used to you being _happy_," Chloe told her at the Penny.

"I'm not used to drinking with someone with that shitty a dye job, but there's a first for everything," remarked Gail, sipping her beer.

Per usual, Chloe did not rise to the bait. "And the beer. You don't drink hard stuff as much."

Gail put the pint glass down. "Is there a reason for all this, Chloe?"

The smaller woman smiled and shrugged. "I was thinking ... Dov actually talking to me, making up. That was you."

It was, but Gail was loathe to admit it. "Yeah, right. Because I want to hear the Dork Kingdom banging in the next room over." Truth was, she did. The alternative was to listen to Dov lament about his relationship, and in a house with a recovering addict and a broken heart (at the time at least), fixing one thing felt a hell of a lot better.

"You like me."

"No, I don't," snarled Gail. "I tolerate you."

There was no reply to that, as their order of mini burgers showed up. After a whole day riding with Gerald, Gail would actually rather hang out with Chloe. Since Chris, Dov _and_ Holly were working, at least hanging out with Chloe seemed better than being alone.

It had not taken long for Gail to really hate an empty house. Once in a while it was alright, but actually being alone for a whole night hadn't ended well recently. Things came and went of their own volition, without any regard for Gail's wishes. This time of year was turning out to be tense and frustrating, though. The weather had fooled her, being colder than normal, and she wouldn't have thought about it, but Oliver had asked if she wanted the day off in such a weird way she'd had to think what he meant.

Dates were not Gail's forte. She rarely remembered the date of anyone's birthday, and she constantly forgot the date that Nick's parents died (even though she had good cause to remember that). If Steve hadn't programmed them into her phone, she'd forget her own parents birthdays and their anniversary.

When she and Holly started getting serious, Gail warned her. Holly wisely took a page from Steve's book and programmed her birthday into Gail's phone, but not their anniversary. After all, how did you count a relationship that started at a crime scene and just fell into something more.

But. Today was a day she didn't want to remember, and everyone else did. Today was a day she could have cheerful blocked out for eternity.

"Why did you stop drinking?"

Jesus. Chloe. "Because I have to drive home."

Lie. Because drunk and remembering Perik led to vomiting.

Chloe split the fries, putting ketchup on a bread plate. "How come you're not scared?"

"What?" Gail stared at the woman, absolutely lost.

The vinegar was passed over for Gail to doctor her fries. "Scared. Sometimes, when I hear a gunshot, I freak out. I think ... Maybe it's going to happen again." Chloe touched her neck. "And stupid Wes left the blood clot, which could _still _kill me, thank you. And I think every day that I could die."

Gail narrowed her eyes. "And you're telling me this because..."

"Because something happened to you," whispered Chloe. "I didn't know... I didn't _see_ it before. But it's like, now that I've seen death, which I know is such a trope, right? But now that I've seen it, I can see it in people. Like Oliver."

"It's a different club," Gail muttered and ate a fry.

"What-"

"No," growled Gail. "No, just... No. Ask Dov, shit, ask Andy or Traci. I don't care, but I'm not talking about it." And of all things, Chloe backed off, apologizing. Everyone knew anyway, but she wasn't going to tell Chloe when she could barely tell Holly.

The thing was that it sucked. Literally. It sucked the air out of her lungs, preventing her from talking about things. It sucked her courage away. It sucked her self-confidence. So she put up more walls, cared less, and hunkered in cynicism. They ate the fries in silence, Chloe volunteering to get the next round, and when she came back with beer for both of them, Gail cleared her throat.

"I'm a cop," she told Chloe. "I go out and protect people who have no idea what the hell is out there. I'm Buffy. I stop things from being worse, I catch losers doing stupid things. So ... No matter how scared I am, no matter how much I don't want to do it, I _have_ to do this. I have to put my vest on and go out there because there isn't another choice for me."

The words sat there between them. Chloe's eyes were wider than normal and she nodded, looking relieved. "Thank you," she whispered.

Instead of going straight home, Gail offered to drive Chloe to her place. Anything to defer the possibility of nightmares. She almost accepted Chloe's offer to come in and hang. Desperate much? What she wanted really was to be asleep, preferably with Holly near her. Holly wasn't home tonight, Holly was working overtime, on some sort of punishment gig after her re-hiring.

So she lied to Chloe, said she was just going home to crash, and drove. And drove. It was like going on patrol, only she drove by her friends' places. The lights were off at Sam's but on at Andy's, implying god knows what. Nick's living room lights were on and the flashing colors indicated he was watching TV. Or sleeping with the TV on. Sometimes he did that too.

Nick _should_ have been the person to talk to. He should have been the one who understood any of it. But he didn't and he wasn't and he couldn't. He understood pain, but not when it was you. Nick was the guy who understood loss, not horror. Nick was the guy who lost everything, always, and forever.

For a very long time, Gail felt the same way. That maybe he and she were meant for each other because everyone else left them. Even after Nick left her, twice. She took him back because he did, eventually, come back. And yet it was never right. She was always going to break his heart because he wouldn't give her his.

Oliver, also, she couldn't talk to. He was home and clearly with Celery, as the lights and sounds from that apartment were friendly and welcoming. Celery would let her in, no doubt, just to hang out, and Oliver had texted her earlier, asking how she was. Gail had lied, said she was fine, and ignored the question.

She didn't drive out to the PeckMansion. She couldn't do that, since they'd see her car, know _something_ was up, and berate her for not getting over it. Two years, she should be over it, right? Gail know she'd never be over it, but she may one day be able to better cope with it. She did check on Steve, in his shitty apartment, and then Traci and her mother. Frank and Noelle. She'd have called Sophie if it wasn't such a shitty hour.

Knowing that Holly was at work didn't change the need she had to just go to her house, though. Gail drove to Holly's, letting herself in through the garage. She turned off the car and texted Holly, knowing she wasn't going to get an answer.

_Are you stuck at work?_

Surprisingly, she got a text back in moments.

_Till god knows when._

_I'm at your place. Is that okay?_

_Honey, you can always be there_.

Gail wasn't sure if it would be harder to easier to be at someone else's that night. She checked Holly's front door, the security system, and then the whole house. That night, Nick hadn't replied at all. Not to the calls or texts. But Holly did. She replied right away when Gail texted, even though she was busy.

Sitting on the couch, Gail tried to convince herself that being home alone was okay and safe and normal, but it wasn't working. She tried watching television, but every sound started to get to her, make her twitch.

Damn it. Chloe had to ask, didn't she? Oliver had to care, didn't he? She could have just forgotten the damn date and moved on with her life.

What did normal people do in these moments?

Gail looked at her phone and picked it up. The last time she'd tried this, he never answered. She pressed the call button and swallowed. It was answered.

"Hey, honey, I'm sorry, it's going to be a long night-"

Closing her eyes, Gail cut into the apology, "Can you please come home?" She couldn't say more, the words made her throat thick, and she hated, despised, the desperation she felt. At the same time, she prayed that Holly would hear it in her voice.

There was a pause, an infinitesimal pause, before Holly replied. "Yes."

Whispering a thank you, Gail hung up and hugged her knees. She hated this. She hated feeling this way. Needy. Scared. Alone. It didn't feel like a panic attack, Gail knew that very well. The empty feeling of isolation crept in and Gail concentrated on her breathing. In and out.

That's how she was when the garage door went up and Holly came inside. She knew it was Holly the same way she knew when her brother was there. "Hey," breathed Gail, resting her face on her knees.

"Hey." Holly sat next to her, not touching her.

Gail's voice was a whisper. "I forgot what today was." She saw Holly's perplexed expression, "Oliver kept trying to get me to go home. Andy was really weird. And ... I just forgot."

Exhaling, Holly moved, hesitating as if she wanted to hug her. The back part of Gail's brain realized that tomorrow was the anniversary of Jerry's death, which she ought to warn Steve about if he hadn't already known. He may not have. Traci had the week off.

"I don't know what to do," admitted Holly, at length.

Really, Gail didn't know either. "Last year, I got so drunk I threw up."

"Hm. Let's not."

Slowly, Gail lifted her head up. "I just... I needed to be with you." She held a hand out to Holly.

When her hand was grasped, squeezed, Gail felt the tension start to slide away a little. "Can you ... Come here?" Holly's voice was soft, and Gail nodded, scooting until she was wrapped in Holly's arms. That was better.

"This isn't how I communicate," she told Holly, letting go of her own knees.

The arms were soft and comforting though. "I know," Holly laughed. It wasn't a funny laugh, it was a laugh that just expressed emotions Holly couldn't put into words. She'd laughed like that during sex and the first time it had surprised Gail. Now she understood. Holly could share joy, humor, nerves, fear, or just everything with that laugh.

Uncurling her legs, Gail settled against Holly, listening to her breathing and her heart. "Sometimes... A lot of the time I'm okay alone," she said into Holly's shoulder. As Holly's hand stroked her hair, she relaxed a little more. "Thank you for coming back."

"You only have to ask, honey," whispered Holly, holding her close.

It was an answer to a question Gail hadn't realized she'd been asking her whole life. The obvious questions she'd given up on years ago. Why wasn't she the one? Why wasn't she special enough? Why did everyone else get happiness and not her? But this was different. This was a answer of what life was supposed to be.

This was love and peace. Comfort. All the things she'd craved from Nick, the strength that he'd been afraid of giving her or was unable to, they were here. All the things she'd loved about Chris, his caring nature and the undeniable comfort, they were here. It was all here, in Holly, in her arms and her heart.

She closed her eyes tightly and pressed her face into Holly's shoulder. This was a new world, and a new feeling and ... New everything. It was new. And it wasn't terrifying. It was right.

* * *

The night shift was a strange idea. Many people excelled at it, but Holly was a morning person, and had hated it. Gail just hated getting out of bed, regardless the hour, so it didn't make too much of a dent in her attitude. But a week of only seeing each other in passing was already surprisingly painful after two days.

Perhaps the upside was Gail usually got three days off afterwards, which meant one day sleeping to get her mind back to 'normal' hours and then two days where they could spend together, like a normal couple. Normal.

Her relationship with Gail was anything but normal. Holly smiled, folding away the last of the clothes Gail had left over. Tempestuous, strange, wonderful. The way Gail's childishness still shone through the odd, newfound maturity was a delight. At first Holly worried that the bratty, sassy woman she'd fallen for was going away, but in their short time apart, Gail grew up without losing herself.

And damned if it wasn't sexy. A woman like that, who was always confident, sarcastic, and yes, bitter and jaded, was attractive. It was mostly the confidence, to be honest. Gail threw herself at things she wanted with a reckless abandon, certain that it would be something. Except... Not people. How many times had she been discarded to grow that wary of people?

The phone rang, startling Holly, and she smiled to see Gail's face on the screen. "Hey, I was just thinking about you."

"Oooh, sexy thoughts?" Gail's tone was light and breezy.

"Depends on who you're with and if I'm on speaker."

"Duncan, ew, no. I just wanted to tell you I love you before I go patrol the city streets for losers and failures."

Holly blushed. "What time do you get off shift?"

"Six, same as usual. Why?"

"I don't have to be at work till eight. We could have dinner."

Gail snorted. "You mean we could screw before you go to work, and I can sleep like the dead in your house?"

"It'll be quieter." Holly had no guilty feelings about her intention. But the sex, which was great, was only part of it. She wanted to keep tabs on Gail's emotional temperature, as it was.

"At seven AM, everything's about the same, Holly," laughed Gail. "How about this, call me when you get up, and maybe we can have breakfast."

"I don't like the maybe part of your equation, honey, but I'll take it."

"Good, go to sleep. I love you."

The casualness of that comment, the ease of it, made Holly blush. "Love you too, honey. Night."

Hanging up, Holly smiled at the phone. Love. That was a wonderful feeling. That was something missing in her other relationships. Not that Holly was all that great at dating to begin with. Falling for unavailable people was her forte. Even Gail counted as that in the beginning, but she was so damn magnetic.

Getting the second chance made things worthwhile. It made the drama of the breakup and the move that wasn't all seem like those Herculean trials one had to face in order to prove worth. It was ... It was simple.

Of course, better would be Gail not having insane hours and weird shift changes, because that night began the week of her girlfriend being a phone. There were three calls a day. Holly called when she woke up, usually catching Gail right at the end of shift when she was stuck finishing paperwork. Then Gail would call when _she_ woke up around six at night. The third call was before Holly went to sleep, a call from Gail to tell her where she was, who she was with, and that she loved her.

Gail always told her she loved her before going on patrol now.

Sunday was Gail's last night on shift, and Holly had made sure to free up Tuesday and Wednesday for it. She even worked the weekend, picking up an extra shift, just to be sure she'd have no arguments from her boss. The current medical director of the lab was not her fan, and since most forensic pathologists reported up that chain, Holly was stuck with a boss whom she didn't care for, and who wasn't always too forgiving about her wanting time off.

Come Monday evening, Holly realized how little she cared about that. She came home to a second car in her garage, a note on the kitchen with a list of dinner choices, and a note reading 'for gods sake, wake me up when you get here, I want to see your unpixelated face.' It was romantic, for Gail at least. Romantic to Holly certainly. Picking the first dinner suggestion on the list, Holly ordered in Thai food.

She left her bag downstairs and rushed up to the bedroom, where Gail was curled up making a cocoon of all the blankets. Holly grinned and kicked off her shoes before kneeling onto the bed to kiss Gail. She was not surprised when a hand wormed out of the covers to pull her into a half hug, half cuddle. "Honey, I smell like death."

"Don't care." Gail's voice was muffled by the blankets and Holly let herself be pulled into the embrace. It lasted a moment before one baleful blue eye peered out from the nest. "Jesus, you reek. What the hell?"

"Long day," sighed Holly. "I'm going to shower. Dinner will be here in half an hour."

Pouting, Gail let go and rolled away, somehow managing to straighten out the blankets as she did. "What time do you have to be at work?"

Holly smiled and headed to the bathroom, "Thursday. Eight AM."

The look of sheer delight on Gail's face made the weekend and Monday all worthwhile.

* * *

_This is the end of the second story arc. They're back, they're working through more shit, but they're Golly. The next arc in the series will get more into Gail's family, Sophie, dangling plot threads, and relationships. Don't worry, Holly will work through her shit. And then we give her and Gail more shit._

_Remember, part three is already written! It's 10 chapters and is called "It's Not a Choice" and ... well. Anyway. Short break. Re-reading the whole 100 pages again for me, then I'll start posting it. In the meantime check me out at chapsticklez dot wordpress dot com for all the fun 'behind the scenes' rambling 500 word author notes.  
_


	21. Damn it, Gerald!

**Part Three: It's Not A Choice**

Summary: Golly is back on, but life isn't easy for a Peck in Toronto. After all, people don't get Visas revoked like that, normally. Something happened to cause that, and we should find out what.

* * *

**Chapter 21: Damn it, Gerald!**

_Author's Note: Gerald does get to work with other people, but since Gail can keep him in line, this happens. If I did other POVs, you'd get a Chloe and Duncan ride. Just imagine it though._

* * *

The hardest part about having to work a murder scene was _not_ looking at Holly too much. She was at work, they were at work, and Gail's job was to maintain the perimeter. Those were rules Gail agreed with, and in fact had pushed herself. Some Peck rules had started to make more sense. Of course, when she lectured Gerald about medical jurisprudence, the laughter had been from Holly.

"Stand here. If anyone tries to cross the line, ask for their badge or ID. Then ask _me_ to verify. Copy?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Gail nodded and walked over to Traci and Holly. Implementing the fear of Gail in Gerald had been a trial. "You sure that's wise?" Traci glanced back at the rookie.

"Traci, I will look the other way if you shoot him." Gail sighed and looked at Holly and the dead body, "Just be glad he didn't sit on the body when he was trying not to puke."

The doctor looked up, annoyed, "He was here?"

"No. He was there." Gail pointed at the _other_ body. The rotting one. "He started stepping back, but I hauled him up to the rocks. Dry heaves. That's when we saw number two here, and he freaked." She rolled her eyes. "I should make him clean out the division's fridge."

Traci laughed, "That's mean."

"Oliver's mean. I'd rather babysit Izzy again and deal with her stupid questions."

"You lost Izzy last time," Holly noted, looking up from the body. "What questions?"

"She asked if we boned," grumbled Gail. Her rookie was gazing off into nothing. "Hey, Gerald, eyes front!" He snapped his head around and Traci chuckled.

A little miffed, Holly remarked, "Inaccurate."

"That's what I said."

"If you two are done flirting over dead bodies," teased Traci, "maybe I can get some info?"

"Please, I've seen you and Steve at work." But Gail turned to Holly for actual information on the case.

Adjusting her glasses (which Gail had to remind herself not to smile over), Holly offered a tidbit. "The body wasn't moved since it landed here. And he's fresh. Rigor's just starting to set in."

Gail and Traci exchanged a look. "Fresh body dump on an old site," said Traci. "Unless Mr. Maggoty there …" Both cops looked over at the more decomposed body.

"I won't know until I get back to the lab," noted Holly, a little pointedly. "But. He's been there long enough for second stage larval development to begin, and the soft-tissue damage from decomposition appears to have been impacted by wildlife." She sighed, "I'd say you're looking at weeks, rather than days. Versus this one, who's been here hours, at most."

When Traci opened her mouth, Gail leaned towards her, "Don't ask her about the variable rates of rigor mortis." Then louder, she asked, "Let me guess, me and Gerald stick around here?"

"Unless you want to send him to the lab with the bodies," suggested Traci, and both Gail and Holly glared. "Or he could stay here or—"

"Or the lab can call us when they have results. Really? You want me to be half the town away from Gerald? God knows what he'd get up to on his own."

"You've got to take the training wheels off sometime, Gail. He will pass."

Gail huffed, "Yeah. Yeah, well not today." She pulled out her logbook. "One fresh, one old, anything else?" For some reason, Holly hesitated and then said what sounded like 'ivy.' There wasn't any ivy around that she remembered, but Gail took a second look.

"Ivy?" Traci, too, was confused. "Like trace from another location?"

"No, like intravenous … He has an IV tap in his arm." Another hesitation, "And it looks wrong. It's not even in a vein. Here, wait…" Holly turned the arm over and gestured at the still intact IV port.

Both Gail and Traci leaned to get a better look at the arm, Gail absently rubbing her right forearm. "Anything in his neck?" she asked carefully. She knew she was going to have to get used to looking at this, but some days it was harder than others.

"Not that I can see here," Holly pursed her lips. "It's almost like they just put it in for show. Which I gotta say is weird."

Gail stopped listening for a moment, thinking backwards through every case she'd worked on, or read about recently. Just for show. Why would someone stick an IV in for show? They were clearly hiding 'something' but what? What it _did_ mean was that the IV was unrelated to the actual death, unless he bled out from it, which looked unlikely. The forensics nerds could try to get a print off it, of course, but …

Turning around, Gail looked at the ground. She heard Holly start to ask what was wrong, but Traci hushed her. The ground wasn't super dry, but it hadn't rained recently, so tracks should stand out a little. Gail studied the path for a moment and looked up at the 'safe' end where she'd stuck Duncan. That path was not one they'd used because it was too steep for the forensic gear, though it was closer to the parking lot. It was a little worn down, in the way unofficial trails generally were. Gail looked at the path. No one would use that path often. If you did carry a body down it, though, you'd have the perfect angle to toss a dead guy out of sight of the normal trail. "Hey, Gerald," she called up to her partner. "Any wide wheel tire tracks up there?"

"Um. I … like a van?"

God help the future of police work. "Deeper than a van. Wider tires. Look in the grass." She moved to get a better view of the idiot.

"Maybe?" He carefully moved away from his station to look at something. "There's some tire tracks here, which is funny cause the parking's like ten feet away. Maybe some kids making out?"

"Don't touch it," ordered Gail and turned back to the body, only to find Holly and Traci grinning at her. "What?"

Traci pulled out her phone, "Care to share with the class?"

They looked so weird, smiling like that. Gail rolled her eyes. "Someone with access to medical supplies drove past the parking lot and chucked our fresh guy. It's either bad luck they landed near the other guy, or they've used this as a dump before. Either way it's lazy not scoping your site first," she sighed. People didn't get that there was an absolute art to being lazy, and it was to be good at what you did and not slack off. Gail had, twice, and both consequences had been galling.

Leaving Holly with the bodies for a moment, Gail showed Traci where she saw the trail broken, and then they went up to check on Duncan's possible tire tracks. "Nice," grinned Traci. "You really should take the exam, Gail, you'd make a great detective."

"And work with you or my brother? Hell no." She shoved her hands in her pockets, looking around the parking lot. Something was still bothering her about it, reminding her of … something. "You want us with the bodies or here?"

"Stay with forensics," decided Traci. "I'll go back with the body." Giving instructions for Duncan to stay there and not let anyone but forensics near the tire prints, Gail and Traci took the longer way back down to the nerds. "I gotta ask, how did you get him to stop taking photos?"

Gail reached into a pocket and held up Duncan's phone. "If he's smart and does well, he gets it back at second break. Otherwise he gets it back at the end of shift." Covering her mouth, Holly tried not to laugh.

On the other hand, Traci did just laugh. "How many times has he gotten it back before shift change?"

"Too few to count." The phone went back into her pocket. "Fine, I'll stick here and look for clues with Scooby-Dum." As the bodies were loaded away, Gail found herself thinking more about the oddities in the situation than anything else. Stupid, lazy, or unlucky? Well, that would have to wait for the autopsy.

* * *

At Traci's request, Holly called Gail with the preliminary autopsy results. "It'll cheer her up, and maybe she won't kill Duncan." Holly had to agree Traci had a point and once the bodies were in the cooler, rang up Gail's phone.

"Peck," she answered, perfunctorily.

"It's Dr. Stewart," Holly smiled. Most of the time Gail answered the phone as girlfriend Gail even when she was at work, but when they actually worked a case together she was very much Officer Peck. Really, Holly liked the smart Officer Peck who was great at anything she put her mind to. It was one of the things she'd like in Gail early on, the smarts and the snarks.

"Results already? Hang on..." There was the sound of shuffling and Holly heard Gail talking to someone. "Rookie, quiz time. Fastest way back to the station?" Holly couldn't hear the answer but Gail's reply surprised her. "Okay, Duncan, you can drive us back." A pause, "Phone or car, your choice." There was a thump and Gail spoke to the phone again, "Sorry. I can't take notes _and_ drive, Doc."

"You're letting him drive?" It was hard to be mad at Gail about it but she was a little nervous. "I think I'm more scared then when you get shot at."

"So am I," confessed Gail. "Results? Your lab guys have picked bits from every tree, bush, and blade of grass in the area."

About to tease Gail that it was impossible in such a short time, Holly glanced at the clock. "You're still there? Gail, it's been five hours!"

"I know, I'm starving. Lunch was some disgusting sandwich. Results please? Or are you splitting more DNA?"

"Sorry, results. The deaths appear unrelated. The older one matched a missing persons. Detective Nash is running that right now, looks like he hit his head when he fell."

"Wow," sighed Gail. "Twenty feet from the trail. That's horrible."

"Given the depth and dimensions of the skull fracture, he was likely unconscious."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Subjective."

Abruptly Gail snapped, "Hey, Gerald, take the left. If you scratch the cruiser it's coming out of your paycheck." Then a lower growl, "I'm going to kill him."

Holly laughed, "You're having better luck than Andy did."

"Don't start," groaned Gail. That was code for 'I'll tell you about it later.' But Gail went on with work. "Fresh body?"

"The IV was totally useless, not even used. I sent it to CSI for prints, but frankly there was talc so don't get your hopes up."

"Hold that thought. Gerald, what's talcum powder have to do with medicine?" Not bothering to correct Gail about talc versus talcum powder, she listened for the stammered answer of gloves. Not bad. "Good. But remember that means _old_ gloves, or not medical grade. They use cornstarch now."

Holly grinned, "I didn't know you knew that."

"I know a lot of things." She could hear Gail's smirk. "Old gloves. Anything else?"

"He was shot."

"Woah, how'd we miss _that_?"

"You'll like this," grinned Holly. "They bandaged him up, like crap by the way. You did better with Chris. Then they redressed him, and then they dumped him."

There was too long of a silence before Gail replied. "Huh."

Holly had a bad feeling she'd said something wrong. The silence dragged on. "So. On your way back to the station?"

"Yes, yeah, if Duncan doesn't flip the car over." Gail sounded distracted and not the way she had been at the crime scene. "Thanks."

"Hey, Gail... We still on for dinner?"

"What?" The brightness returned to Gail's voice, though it sounded forced. "Yes, definitely yes."

Still, Holly wondered what she'd said to bug her girlfriend wrong. Gail did show up at the restaurant, barely on time, clearly just out of the shower and out of breath. "Cutting it fine," smiled Holly, relieved to see her at all.

"Sorry." Gail looked apologetic and sexy in jeans, a dark shirt, and a long coat. "I was talking to Frank, he was our sergeant before Oliver."

"I believe I may have attended his wedding," teased Holly.

Gail gave her a smirk, "Yes, that. He's working upstairs now."

"Are they really going to foster Sophie?"

"Huh? Oh! Probably. They filed the paperwork, aced the class. This was something else, though. Work and I ... Doesn't matter, sorry I was late." She reached across the table for Holly's hand. "Let's not talk about work. Unless you want me to tell you how Chris ripped his pants. I let Duncan take a photo. We're trying to let Oliver put it on the official division twitter."

Dinner became a lighthearted affair, which suited Holly fine. She began to think there was nothing at all wrong and Gail was just a little distracted from an interesting case. They split a desert, after Gail begged Holly to just try the cake which was sinfully delicious. In return, Holly asked Gail to come over which was readily accepted and, in the mind of some, actually sinful.

By the time Holly drifted to sleep, she'd almost forgotten the weirdness of Gail on the phone.

Gail's nightmare startled Holly awake. More often, Gail woke up without a noise, but this time was the first since the Oxy induced drama, where she'd yelled when coming out of the dream in the guest room, that Holly heard anything. This wasn't a shout or a yell, but a sound like a choked cry of someone about to vomit, and Gail sat bolt upright, clapping a hand to her right arm, hugging it close.

It was the motion that fully shook Holly out of her own, clearly much better, dream. Her brain lagged a moment, connecting the sound to the motion to the woman in her bed. "Gail?" There was no answer and Holly pushed her hair out of her face to get a better look. "Hey, Gail, it's me, Holly."

"Yes!" Gail's voice was tense and strained, like it was an effort to get sound out. "Holly." Her back was soaking with sweat.

Holly fumbled for her glasses and sat up. "Honey, it was just a dream." Slowly, Gail's hands moved to cover her face and she nodded, not speaking. Was it safe to touch her? Holly reached over and her hand hovered over Gail's back before resting her palm between Gail's shoulders. The sweat was cold. "Hey," she whispered. There was no shaking this time.

Nodding again, Gail inhaled a shuddering breath. "I'm okay," she whispered.

She was clearly anything but. Holly sighed and scooted over closer. While Gail didn't move towards her, she didn't lean away either. "I'm here, honey." Another nod. Gail was taking long, deep breaths, controlled breaths, that came out shuddering.

Without a single idea what to say, Holly leaned against her girlfriend, hoping that the physical nearness would help. It didn't seem to be hurting at least, as Gail leaned into her as well after a while. "I'm. Okay," she whispered again, sounding like she was affirming that with herself more than anything else.

"Do you want the lights on?" First Gail shook her head no. Then she nodded a yes. Holly reached around Gail to turn on the lamp on her side. "I'm here," she repeated and wrapped her arms around Gail loosely.

Another nod and Gail exhaled slowly. "Bandages," she said quietly.

"Are you- are you hurt?" Holly started to let go, but Gail caught her hands.

"The bandages, on the fresh guy. The IV. Reminded me..."

Holly frowned. "The IV?"

"Perik. He put an IV in my arm." Gail took another deep breath and let it go slowly. She reached up and touched her neck again, as if checking for something, then her forehead. "He put sutures on my head, to stop the bleeding. My head... The door hit it."

That was new information. Every once in a while, Gail shared a little more about the incident. "Honey, you don't have to say anything." Nodding, Gail leaned more into Holly's arms. They sat like that for a while, Holly's back against the headboard, Gail in her arms. It was hard to keep that level of tension and Holly felt herself starting to drift off. She glanced at Gail's face and saw her eyes wide open. "Lie down?"

"Yeah." Gail let go of Holly's hands and surprisingly turned her light off.

"Honey, you can keep it on."

"I know," Gail replied, and once Holly was lying down, settled her head on Holly's shoulder. It was easy to wrap her arms around Gail and hold her close.

"Sleep?"

"No, I'll just see it again. Him again." She sighed. "I just want to lie here with you."

"Okay," agreed Holly and she closed her eyes.

"Your glasses are still on, baby." Holly took them off, carelessly tossing them onto the nightstand. At least Gail was up to complete sentences now.

She gently rubbed Gail's back and sighed, trying to think of what to say. "How did Nick deal with this," she wondered, barely noticing she said it aloud.

"Didn't. If I felt… off I didn't stay the night," Gail replied, sounding almost apologetic. Holly paused and thought about the implications of that. Did that mean Gail trusted _her_ where she didn't trust Nick? Her hand stopped as she realized how much Gail had let her in more than anyone else. "You can go to sleep," whispered Gail.

"Don't want you to be alone in the dark."

"I'm not. You're here." While flattering, Holly fought for awareness and to stay awake longer. She knew she wouldn't be able to tell by Gail's breathing if she was awake or not, so she kept lightly rubbing her back. "Holly?"

"Yes?"

"I always gonna have nightmares."

This wasn't a question but Holly treated it like one. "Yes, you are." She hugged Gail a little. "I'm right here." Gail's body relaxed a little. Listening to Gail's breathing, Holly realized she didn't care how late she had to stay awake or how little sleep she got, because she wanted to be right here, for Gail. With Gail. She closed her eyes and let Gail's even breathing lull her to sleep, hoping it would be comforting enough.

* * *

After Dov, Chris, Nick, Andy, _and _Chloe bugged her, Gail took her notes and stole her brother's desk. She'd begged Frank for a copy of some files, and technically could have gotten the rest from Steve, but for now, she had enough. Fake ambulances were still bugging her. The tire prints from the double dump two weeks ago had, indeed, been from an ambulance, which had reminded her of the body dump at the lake, over six weeks ago. That had been the accidental death of a teenaged boy, but Gail remembered the 'killer' insisted he'd called an ambulance. The phone records backed that up, but there was no trace of the actual pickup.

The theory she had was someone was playing fake EMT. But why would they pick up these bodies? She'd found nothing in common, and started reading phone transcripts. The 911 call was normal, until she hit something downright weird, and logged in to Steve's computer. It was easy to get access to the 911 calls and Gail plugged in the headphones to listen, eyes closed.

_"911 what's your emergency?"_

_"Oh god, he's choking and turning blue. He can't breath. What do I do?"_

_"Sir, do you need an ambulance?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"What's your location, sir? Can you see a cross street?"_

_"It's... I don't ... Hang on." A door slammed. "327 Blue Ridge, off ... Um ... Off Cornwell. Wait! There's an ambulance! Hey! Hey! Stop!"_

The rest of the call was him reading off the ambulance number to 911 and disconnecting before he'd gotten a reply from the operator. She must be pissed. But Gail frowned. He did call 911. He then grabbed a passing ambulance, which was the devil's own luck. And then ... Nothing.

The ambulance number was a fake.

Who the hell did that? Why the hell would anyone do that? If Gail was a fake ambulance driver in a fake ambulance, why would she be looking for people who would die en route? Did that happen a lot? Probably, but where did they go? She snatched pen and paper from Steve's desk and scribbled that down.

How many people went missing every year? Were there a lot between pickup and ER? How easy was it to lose a body at a hospital? Could you deliver someone right to the morgue? What about real people picked up by a fake ambulance? Maybe they left AMA. Could you do that? How long did it take for a hospital to realize an ambulance didn't show up? How hard was it to fake being an EMT? How many bodies never made it to the morgue.

She sighed and put the pen down, followed shortly by putting her head on the desk, pillowed by her arms. It was annoying to not get this out of her head and Gail felt like she should already know a lot of this.

"Napping?" Traci's voice cut in to Gail's thoughts.

"Reading. Thinking. How do you get _anything_ done?" Gail turned her head to the side and looked at the detective.

"Yikes, you need a nap." Traci sat down on the table. "Holly keeping you up at night?" she teased.

"No," grumbled Gail and buried her face again.

"Did you do something stupid?"

"What?" Gail turned so she could open one eye and glare at Traci. "Is my track record _that_ horrible?"

After a moment Traci said, "Yes, it is."

People sucked. Gail scowled and closed her eyes. "It's not Holly."

"Good. I like her."

Everyone liked Holly. For all she claimed not to make friends any more easily than Gail did, she was incredibly likable to pretty much anyone with a brain and quite a few people without them (i.e. Duncan). "Why is it every time I don't sleep, everyone's up in my face about me being an alcoholic or screwing up my love life?" Traci made a thoughtful sound but didn't press. "Do you think about him?"

"Who?" She sounded perplexed.

Gail picked up her head a little, propping her chin on her fists. "Jerry."

Exhaling, Traci slumped a little. "Yeah." She glanced at the desk that had been Jerry's and luckily was not Steve's because, wow. "What brought that on?"

Nerves kicked in and Gail started digging her thumbnail into her fingers. She could trust Traci, who had been there when she'd been in the hospital and was a friend. "Not sleeping," she said vaguely, trying to allude to things without having to say them aloud.

"Not sleeping because of, or because of not sleeping?"

While the sentence was convoluted, Gail understood. "First one." Not sleeping because of Jerry and Perik.

Traci frowned and got what Gail could only presume was a 'concerned mother' expression. "Gail." She hesitated. "I'm not sure what to say."

Neither was Gail, to be honest. She propped her chin up in one hand. "It's just what it is, Traci." She shrugged a little. Really, she didn't want it to become a big deal. Yes, she still had trouble sleeping, she still had nightmares.

Sometimes it felt like she wasn't making any progress at all. Like all the hours figuring out who she was, not just being Gail the Pale Fail and letting her name push her around, was for nothing. But that really wasn't the case. She was better, and it wasn't _just_ Holly, though that was a major catalyst. Gail honestly wanted to be a better person, do better and be more than just someone floating at life, resenting being a Peck and yet using it to meander forward.

Traci reached down and picked up Gail's note paper. "So what's this?"

A subject change was welcomed by all. "The tire tracks at the double body site _were_ an ambulance, but not a model used by any of the nearby stations."

Eyes widening, Traci gestured, "You gonna follow up on this on your own? The case is pretty cold."

"Yeah, I know. But it's just bugging me. It made me think about the underage sex teacher."

"Oh yeah, I remember." Traci paused, "You know, the idea of an illegal ambulance ring is pretty crazy."

"Aaand this is why I didn't tell anyone." She snatched the paper back, carefully putting it into her folder.

"Seriously, what good would it do anyone? Let you dump bodies in weird places to make people not use ambulances? Drive everyone to one specific company?"

Absently, Gail let her own, private, theory see the light of day, "Cover up a bigger crime."

Traci scoffed, "That's way too much work for such lousy output, Gail."

"Depends on how big the crime is, doesn't it?"

There was a moment of hesitation. "Okay," allowed Traci. "But that's crazy. You'd have to have to have a massive network." She shook her head, "No way, I take back everything I said about you being a good detective. You're totally Fox Muldering."

Which made Holly her Scully, and that wasn't _too_ bad. "Never. Mind." She rolled her eyes at Traci, "I'm going now. You're as bad as the rest of them." Gail paused to change a setting on her brother's chair, and went back to find her rookie and head back out to the streets.

* * *

_And now you see the glimpse of something bigger behind the body dumps!_


	22. Stupid Things Straight Girls Say

**Chapter 22: Stupid Things Straight Girls Say**

_Author's Note: Andy's back! And Gail being a cop is her birthright, of course. Marlo is not pregnant. There's just an IA case about her still going on because I don't hate McSwarek that much. Also the ultrasound was dated 2009, so the kid would be around 3._

_Guest Henry: Boning is inaccurate because it implies a penis. Even if you want to extend that to include dildos, it was __inaccurate_ in that time frame.

* * *

Random questions weren't too unusual for Holly's job. Police generally weren't scientists so they asked questions in weird, round about ways, trying to put their ideas in an order only they understood. She just wasn't used to the source of her strange questions being her girlfriend since most of the serious relationships she'd had were broken over the job. And the questions really were odd, like how many bodies did the morgue lose a year and did Holly know any EMTs.

After that, however, no mention was made of the topic and Gail seemed no more or less distracted than usual. There were no repeat nightmares, though it wasn't as if she saw Gail every night (especially around shift changes, Gail frequently lamented her hatred of the night shift). Nights they didn't spend together were often filled with phone calls. Sadly, right now Gerald— Duncan (damn it, Gail!) was Gail's regular partner, and she didn't feel comfortable flirting on the phone in the car and only called Holly back in private.

There was also Sophie, whom Gail saw regularly. Holly went with her on those and they both had dinner with Noelle and Frank. Frank had been flummoxed at the appearance of Holly at dinner, having not been privy to the usual gossip about Gail, though Noelle confided she'd thought something was up when Gail brought Holly as a plus one, but hadn't expected that either. Then she proceeded to give Gail crap for not warning her about the gay thing.

They'd all talked about Sophie, what the odds were, did Frank and Noelle really want to become that big a family, that fast. And then everyone spent a Saturday with Sophie, together, and Frank was sold, provided Gail promised to babysit. It was really that easy, which amazed Holly. When Frank asked _her_ directly about wanting kids, Holly had stalled, which did not go unnoticed by the other two police officers, though Gail didn't make a fuss and simply said that Holly did not. It was true, but Holly started to wonder if she was wrong.

And then there were the breaks. Not dating breaks, they'd worked through that and had no interest in a revisit. No, the breaks of not being able to see each other for days. The breaks where where Gail worked too many hours, Holly had court, and now two weeks had passed between the last time Gail had spent the night. It made Holly feel like a total horn dog.

There had been a surprise afternoon visit on Sunday when Gail showed up unannounced, still in uniform, and explained she had four hours and was going to kill her roommates. Holly had been watching TV and finishing a needless proof of an article, but Gail had said she didn't mind just hanging out. They never even made it back to the couch, heading right upstairs as soon as Holly got a clear look at Gail in uniform. The uniform really was a turn on. Leaving the police car parked outside on the street for three hours, however, had encouraged her neighbors to knock after Gail had left and ask if everything was all right.

What she needed was to get her mind off it for a while. Being grumpy because you couldn't be with your girlfriend all the time was juvenile and unproductive.

Holly pulled on her running shoes and stepped outside into the damp Toronto spring. A muggy heat hugged the air and Holly sighed, thinking about how sticky it was for late May. If you can't get your endorphins out one way, best to try another, and she turned on her running mix before stretching and heading down the road to her favorite park trail.

Running was her zen, her meditation. She'd gone into medicine out of an interest in health, but forensics had fallen into her heart like a calling. It was impossible to explain her devotion, but with it, everything made sense. Similarly, running made sense. One foot in front of the other, your heart pounding and blood rushing, and then the brain chemistry kicked in to make you forget the pain and aches, and all that was left was joy. Which made it a lot like sex with Gail, if she was being perfectly honest.

Running cleared her brain, which was entirely unlike sex. At least not sex with Gail. That tended to completely blank her brain. The first time Gail had gone down on her, Holly forgot how to speak in English for long enough that Gail found it hilarious. And none of that was helping her _not_ think about the sex she wasn't having because schedules sucked.

What would be nicer would be if Gail would move in with her, but that was an odd thing to ask. She'd never successful lived with another woman before. College barely counted, and that had been living together to girlfriends to being dumped and ex-roommate/girlfriend moving in with another girl, leaving Holly to deal with a new, mid-term, homophobic roommate. Other than that, she'd never had a girlfriend she wanted to see that often.

But she sucked at girls. Girlfriends. Relationships. Gail wasn't the only one with a terrible track record and commitment issues. Good lord, and the whole kids thing, which was a massive commitment Holly was terrified to consider. Except thanks to Gail, she was now actually thinking about it as a possibility. Holly slowed down as she reached a corner, saw no cars, and sprinted across the street to hit the trail. Feet pounding did, eventually, calm her mind down and she made her circuit thinking of little beyond the songs and the air and the quiet.

As she sprinted across the street again her phone started ringing. Holly did not slow down, but thumbed the hands free button. "Hello?"

"Jaywalking's against the law." Gail's voice was surprisingly cheerful for the hour. Given her way, Gail would never be out of bed before noon.

But that wasn't the weirdest thing. How did Gail know she'd just jaywalked? "Are you tracking my phone?"

"That would be a misuse of power." Gail sounded a little out of breath now that Holly thought about.

"Where are you?" Holly stopped moving forward and jogged in place.

"Waiting for the light to change."

"That's a what..." Holly trailed off and turned around, looking back at the corner. There, jogging in place and waiting at the light, was Gail in shorts and a police academy sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off.

It was hard not to laugh and Holly hung up. The light changed and Gail joined Holly. "That was incredibly rude," smirked Gail.

"The 80s called." Holly flicked a finger on Gail's top.

Gail plucked at her sleeveless sweatshirt, "It's Steve's. I stole it, in lieu of having a boyfriend to steal comfy clothes from." She stopped jogging and started stretching.

"The one lesbian drawback. Giving up already?" Holly slowed down but kept bouncing in place.

"Puuuuuhlease, I've done four miles." She held up her phone so Holly could see the running app. "This is, by the way, your fault."

Holly sighed and stopped running. "Okay, spell this one out."

"You making me care and healthy and all this crap. I could be asleep right now." Gail shook her head.

"And that's your excuse for coming miles out of your way for a run."

Gail pointed at Holly's legs, "Those are my excuse." When Holly didn't reply, she sighed. "I wanted to see you, and ... I don't know, it seemed like a good idea. Meet you jogging, go to brunch, stay over tonight?"

"It's not a terrible idea," allowed Holly, a smile tugging at her face. "However..."

"Oh, no no, you are not working, I checked." Gail held up a finger. "Your case plead out last night. Steve was in the judges chambers all night. If he didn't tell you, I will flatten his tires." Gail reached for Holly's hands. "Please? I traded shifts with Andy to have a whole weekend off. No work. No trial prep. Just us."

That sounded far better than anything else. "I'm going to call Steve. And the ADA," she warned Gail but tugged her in for a kiss. "If I hear you threatened anyone..."

"Just Andy," promised Gail. "Come on, I'm hungry."

Holly rolled her eyes but laced her fingers with Gail's and let herself be led off to a brunch.

* * *

"What's it like?"

Gail opened one eye and looked at Andy. They had ended up at the Diaz/Peckstein apartment, Andy lamenting over yet another fight with Sam and Gail trying to actually be a friend. This had involved drinking at Gail's because the odds of Sam showing up there were slim. Gail ruthlessly punted the boys out, texted an apology to Holly about breaking the 'only get drunk with your girlfriend' rule (which Holly accepted), and proceeded to get half-blasted on margaritas with Andy in her living room.

The drama had been expected, somewhat, when Marlo showed up. The internal investigation had been rather ruthless, led not by Gail's mother, thank god, but a pretty anal retentive Inspector whom Gail knew. It had still been rough since Andy had known about the bipolar situation. Realistically, Gail pointed out that if Marlo had told her superiors before it became a problem it wouldn't have been quite as bad. Not everyone who was bipolar went off the rails and Gail knew a few officers with serious issues. Herself included. She hadn't mentioned her own PTSD which worried her at times like this. Rarely had her mother had any sympathy for anyone with issues like that, though Gail certainly did.

After the complaining Andy had become maudlin and quiet, lying on the floor hugging a pillow. Gail took the couch and relaxed in the quiet for a while.

"What's what like?"

Andy sat up, "Sex."

Gail blinked and turned onto her side to stare at Andy. "I'm _pretty_ sure you've had sex, Andy."

"Oh, yeah. But not like you." While Gail tried to work out if Andy was calling her a slut, Andy added, "Lesbian sex."

Was this how it'd felt when she'd asked Holly those horrible questions in the closet? Holy crap. "I'm not having sex with you, McNally."

Andy groaned, "Not in a million years, Peck. I've seen you naked. Not interested."

"Same here," smirked Gail.

"See? That doesn't make sense." Andy hugged the pillow closer. "You don't check anyone out?"

Gail huffed. Wow. People did just ask lesbians weird questions. "What are you really asking?"

"Are... You gay or just gay for Holly? And is it gay or lesbian or…"

"Lesbian," confirmed Gail. "But... You don't find every guy sexy, right? Sometimes you just look at them and know." When Andy nodded Gail gestured. "Holly."

Andy let that ruminate in her brain for a while and Gail could hear the hamster wheel spinning. "How did you know?"

"Which? Holly or lesbian?" The look on Andy's face clearly said both so Gail chewed her lip. "Holly first. She kissed me at Frank and Noelle's wedding." That brought a widening of eyes to Andy's face. "It made me think." The margaritas had done a nice job and Gail felt that comfortable lassitude that came with good drinks and a comfortable person. She realized she rarely wanted to get drunk with Holly, preferring to enjoy her as sober as possible.

And Gail would have left it there but Andy looked at her pleadingly, clearly desperate to hear a love story for once. "If I did that, you'd have hit me."

"I knew she was a lesbian, dumb ass," laughed Gail. "I was asking her stupid questions, like you are now, and I swear to god if you kiss me I will taze you in your ass." That set Andy giggling and they both seemed to agree that the idea of _them_ kissing was stupid.

"Not enough tequila on the continent," agreed Andy. And then she added, "Holly is insanely hot, though. I could see kissing her."

"I _have_ a tazer, McNally," snarled Gail, only to see a smirk from her friend. "Not funny."

"Totally funny," disagreed Andy. "Objectively, she's hot."

"Stop objectifying my girlfriend."

A moment passed, and Andy realized Gail was serious. "Wow, you _really_ like her."

Sighing, Gail closed her eyes. "You have no idea. She changed my whole world, Andy. And ... It's not the sex. I mean, wow, sex, but it's just _her_. She makes me feel better. About everything. She looks at me like I'm the only person in her universe, she calls me on my bullshit. And she's funny, smart... Sexy." Gail exhaled a long breath and smiled. There was no sound from Andy, and Gail opened her eyes to see her friend, passed out against the table. "Nice talk, McNally."

It took monumental effort to get Andy onto the couch, but once she was there Gail covered her with a blanket and left a note for the boys not to bother her. Almost absently, she cleaned up the drinks, drank a cup of water, and took another to her room. In the past she might have hauled Andy into her room to sleep it off like friends do, but right now having anyone in her bed besides Holly felt wrong. Not that they'd ever had sex in Gail's bed.

Barricaded behind her door, Gail checked her phone. No messages. She quickly tapped one out to Holly, three words, and lay down on her bed.

Instead of thinking about Holly, Gail found herself thinking about work. Her handling of idiot Gerald made Oliver float the idea of being a regular T.O. and taking a rookie when the next batch rolled in. She countered that this was only a special favor because of the Peck name and he pointed out she could use that to train them right.

Her mother agreed with Oliver which didn't help. At the monthly Peck dinner the previous week, with Gail and Steve attending solo by choice, her mother positively oozed pride. In the last four months, Gail had gone from a Pale Fail to the Pride of Pecks. A public commendation for the schwarma thing, a successful training rotation, handling the T.O. job with style, and Gail was well on her way to being a white shirt. Then her mother had let slip that Gail's rookie group was, collectively, up for promotions. This was expected, at least by Gail. For the most part, Chris, Dov, Andy, and herself were damn fine officers and unlikely to cause problems if made constable third class. The only delays were likely to be related to stupid things like Chris leaving for Timmons for a while, Dov dating a suspect and getting rolled for it (and covering for Chris on drugs), or Andy and Gerald… Actually, Chris and Andy probably would be promoted next round, with that in mind. At least Gail's fuck up and suspension was furthest out.

However her mother brought up one last thing that tweaked Gail. There was a Peck Timetable and Gail was on it. She'd driven Steve home and he asked how she was going to handle it. Flippant, Gail replied she'd skip the next three dinners. But it was a problem. The Deal, as she'd called it, was nearly up. Her mother had plied her with information about the detective spot opening up but Gail just wasn't interested in that spot, Guns and Gangs. At least it stopped her father from making veiled remarks about her sexuality. Those were getting old.

Her phone rang, startling her out of work-related angst, and Gail was surprised to see Oliver's name. "I'm too drunk to work, Ollie."

"Too drunk for congratulations?"

"Are you pregnant?"

The man laughed. "You're funny when you're drunk, kid. Brass bumped you to third."

Third? Third rank. Gail blinked, "Why are you telling me this at 11PM, Oliver?" Then she remembered what day it was, "Jesus, did you guys _just_ finish the damn reviews? Please tell me Gerald failed."

"Persnickety Peck, you always know what's going on behind the scenes. No, your rookie did not fail. Sorry, he's a real officer now."

Groaning, Gail bashed the back of her head into the bed. "Who else got bumped?" There was silence and Gail frowned. "Not even Dov?"

"He'll be in the next batch," Oliver said hesitantly. "There was an issue …"

"Which you can't tell me about, I get it. You suck. I'm going to sleep."

"Love you too, sunshine," teased Oliver. "Keep McNally out of trouble."

"She brings it with her, smart ass." Hanging up, Gail rolled to her side and went to sleep.

* * *

The information came from Oliver, who made an effort to explain just how important it was and it needed to be special because Gail was Gail and would reject anyone else's attempts to congratulate her. "The first in her class," he repeated for the fifth time, pacing in her office.

"How many others?"

"Seven, but none at Fifteen."

She wasn't really sure what that meant but Oliver had driven across town just to talk to Holly about it. Ergo it was important. "I hate even thinking this," Holly said slowly. "Is it because she's a Peck?"

And that's when Oliver hit her with a thousand watt grin. His open geniality was heartwarming. "No," he grinned. "Not a chance. She _earned_ this. And you have to make sure that sinks in!"

"Me?" Holly almost babbled. "Oliver, I don't know a thing about this! It's all ... Whatever!" She waved her hands in a way Gail did when being dismissive.

"Our little Peck has a thing about deserving good things, Holly." The reply grimace on Holly's face only seemed to confirm what Oliver was saying and he nodded. "Which is why I'm asking you to make sure she knows it's amazing and awesome. I know it is, Fifteen knows it is, but she's going to blow it off."

"Oliver," Holly sighed, wearily. "She's going to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about and blame it on nepotism." That had happened before, with the stupid schwarma thing. Even though Andy had insisted Gail knew what was wrong, Gail argued that Andy's gut instinct was how they'd managed to burst in and surprise the kidnappers. She didn't want the stupid award.

"I know, my Petulant Peck has a chip on her shoulder," he sighed. There was always a paternal feeling from Oliver, like he loved Gail as if she was his own. "I'm giving you this." He handed a print up with names and what looked like votes.

Holly read the paper, confused. "I don't get it." Oliver opened his mouth and Holly stemmed the word vomit. "No, I get it. These are the people who voted for promotions, and yes, I see that her mother recused herself. But ..." All Holly had was horror stories about Elaine from everyone, Peck and not Peck.

"Not a single Peck Crony on that list, Holly. Gail will know. She starts freaking out, you show her that."

It wasn't until after Oliver left that Holly wondered if they'd broken a law.

Her only warning about it from Gail was that she texted to complain about being dragged to the Penny for drinks after work, and would Holly please pick her up absolutely no later than 7. "Make it special, huh," muttered Holly texting her agreement.

That gave her enough time to go home, make a semi-romantic setup on the dining table, get a real, home made dinner in the oven, shower, get into sexy clothes, and pick up Gail at the Penny at ten after seven. She pulled up out front and texted. A moment later, Gail and her crew burst out of the bar, them singing, her cringing. Gail's people tolerance was about done for the night.

"Hey, hot stuff," smiled Holly, looking out the open window.

"You're late," griped Gail and suffered another hug from a _very_ inebriated Dov. "Okay, see? My chariot awaits, I'm going now."

"But you're the first third fifteen!" That was Andy, sheets to the wind and clearly caring little for it.

"Okay, you're wasted." Gail looked past her drunk friends to where a sober looking Nash nodded. "I'm dumping them on you, Traci!"

"Thanks so much!" Traci laughed however. "Come on, let's go drink for Gail!" Someone cheered, remarking it'd be more fun if Gail wasn't there.

For once, Gail didn't rise to the bait and just slipped into the car. Her brother emerged from nowhere which Holly felt was a skill for such a pale ginger to have. "Congrats, sis," he smiled, holding the door open.

"Come on, Steve. It's embarrassing." Gail clipped herself in. "I'm almost thirty, of course they bumped me first. Herr Peck would have had their asses otherwise."

"Hey, I told you. Gossip chain swears this was all you, little brat." He ruffled her hair and closed the door. When Gail flipped him off, his hands moved in a longer, more eloquent, statement. Gail sighed and replied in a similar way, before telling him to go away.

"What's the party for?" Holly tried to be innocent and pulled the car out. She wanted to know what Steve had said as well, but let that alone for now.

Gail scowled. "Nothing, I got promoted is all."

"And this is bad?"

Somehow Gail slouched impossibly low in the seat. "It's stupid. I'm the first one in the division. From my class."

"Honey, you're gonna have to work with me here. Why is this bad?"

Gail said nothing until they eased into Holly's neighborhood, "I didn't want to be the first. But stupid Andy screwed up being a T.O., Dov killed a kid and dated a suspect and got beat up, and Chris went to rehab, so that leaves me and Traci, and she's a detective, so yaaaay, _Peck_ gets firsties." She sunk further into her seat. "And tomorrow it'll all be how I got it because of my stupid name."

Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, Holly thought about that. "You took a bunch of training classes, right? When we were being stupid?" Gail grunted a 'yeah,' though she smiled a little at Holly's description of their break up. "And you totally aced Gerald... Duncan... Whatever." Now Gail giggled. "That's your fault, by the way. Everyone at the lab calls him Gerald now, it's like an epitaph. Someone drops a vial, they shout 'Damn it, Gerald!' And we all laugh."

"No way," laughed Gail. She sat up a little, brightening at the story.

"Yes, and you're mean and should stop it." Holly smirked at Gail. "And my point, honey, is that you've done a lot of things at work and you deserve some accolades. You've been an amazing T.O. You were instrumental in solving multiple cases. And your friends need an excuse to get drunk, so you're it."

"Bah," grumped Gail, though she didn't slouch as much. "I don't want a birthday party."

"Duly noted." They pulled in to the garage and Holly pondered her plan and how poorly it was going to work. "Why don't you grab a shower and I'll get food ready?"

But Gail shook her head, "No, I'm gonna face plant when I shower. I just... I wanted to be with you and not people. You're not all pushy and noisy." Gail was out of the car surprisingly quickly. "I'll make a sandwich or something and we can watch one of your sport things..." Gail stopped as she opened the door to the townhouse.

"Surprise?" Holly smiled weakly and stepped up behind Gail, ushering her inside.

Slowly Gail took in the candles (unlit), the red wine (breathing), and the smell of good food. "Who told you?" She paused by the dining table, looking embarrassed again.

"Oliver. He said it was important so I thought I should make it special." She scooted past Gail and pulled the chicken out of the oven. "I even made the potatoes the way you like them."

"God, Holly..." Gail pushed her hair out of her face and Holly realized she was crying.

Cue dramatic Peck Family flashback? Holly cursed Oliver silently and put the pan down. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry. We don't have to do this. It can just be dinner and I'll put the candles away. This was a bad idea right? I should have thought, I mean, your parents and-" Gail stopped her rambling in Holly's favorite way, with a kiss.

Gail's hands were firm on her shoulders, holding Holly still. Oven mitts and all, Holly grabbed Gail's waist and melted into her as much as possible. These kisses, the ones that went right past her brain and lit a fire, were some of Holly's favorite. "No one else does stuff like this for me, baby," she whispered. Her fingers smoothed the fabric of Holly's shirt. "Thank you."

That was entirely depressing to think about and Holly sighed. "You probably scare your friends." Holly smiled and kissed her again, her glasses bumping Gail's face and digging in a little to the bridge of her own nose.

"I meant boyfriends and family." Reaching over, Gail adjusted Holly's glasses. "You're amazing. How are you so amazing? I mean, Jesus, I've known Nick for years and he still forgets I'm allergic to fucking tomatoes!" That had been the subject of an argument outside Holly's lab, when Gail and Nick came by on a case and he brought her a burger with tomatoes in it.

Holly tilted her head. "You also hate eggs and don't do breakfast." She kissed Gail's nose. "But you love chicken and potatoes and I bet you'll like my veggies. And the red wine. It's really good wine. Dinner?"

"Should I shower? I mean, you're all dressed up..." Gail looked Holly up and down, seeming to just now take in the clothes.

"That's up to you, honey." Holly turned back to the chicken and got a knife out to break it down. Behind her, she heard a 'huh' noise and Gail's footsteps fading into the upstairs. By the time she had the chicken separated and plates served, she was staring to wonder if Gail was ever coming downstairs. "Gail? Confirm existence please!"

"Do you have _any_ high heels here?" Gail's voice drifted down.

"Don't own any except the boots." The reply was reflex, but Holly blinked and looked at the stairs in curious wonder. Why was Gail asking about shoes? But then Gail came down barefoot, in a casual knit shirt/dress that was a little too short. She'd worn it over jeans a couple times, but this was the first time she'd just worn the dress as a dress.

And Holly suddenly understood why Gail had said the getting dressed part was the best part of a date. "Catching flies there, baby," teased Gail.

The too short dress and bare feet were adorable and sexy, especially given the limited wardrobe Gail had here. The makeup and hair were astounding. Holly was just stunned with how Gail looked, dolled up, making her sexy in a way the uniform or the leather jacket never did. "Okay, wow... How did you do ... That?" Holly waved a finger in a circle around her own face.

"The hair took forever," admitted Gail. "Why is short hair so hard to style?" She had somehow managed to get her unruly cowlick to lie in a curl that would put a 1940s pin up girl to shame. The makeup, which Holly was generally adequate at, was brilliant and made her pale skin radiate health. The red lipstick was perfect and distracting.

Tongue-tied, Holly blurted, "I am _so_ gay right now, Gail."

Gail bubbled with laughter. "Well next time warn a girl, and I'll have my sexy lbd on, and shoes." She gave Holly a peck on the cheek before sliding into her seat at the table. "Guess short hair doesn't make the dress look funny, huh?"

It took Holly a moment to get back on track, and she couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

_Gail is a little girly. If you've ever had that moment when your other half shows up looking amazing and you forget words, then you've been where Holly is right now._

_By the way, I have an open poll for if y'all want to see me write Gail and Holly with a kid. Have a vote at **poll . fm / ****4yhmi** (just remove the spaces because FFN is 'against spamming')  
_


	23. Late For Dinner

**Chapter 23: Late For Dinner**

_Author's Note: Gail Peck and the very long day. This is the first of two rough days for our girl. Since this is Gail's story, this will be more about her. Oh and the kids question is for .. Like chapter 70 land, so a loooong way out. Don't panic folks._

* * *

"Am I allowed to ask personal questions?"

Gail gave Duncan a stern look. "Generally no, but since your sorry ass got me promoted, I will grant you one."

He cleared his throat. "You and Dr. Stewart are dating, right?"

"Are you asking for a purpose?" She paused at the corner and sipped her green smoothie, which was Holly's fault.

Duncan looked down. "Kinda. You keep telling me to pay attention, so I've been trying to. And at the body dump place? She was looking at you." He gestured with one hand, nervously.

They were back at the car, having done a courtesy check on a store. "Hmm. Okay. And do you care?"

"No! I just ... I want to know if I'm seeing things right. Like you and Detective Nash are friends and you kinda want to kill Officer Price a lot... And Collins is totally guilty about something."

She put her smoothie on top to the car. "Collins, huh? That's old news. Ask your stepfather, he was there." Digging into her pockets, Gail pulled out Duncan's phone and the car keys. She didn't have to tell him to choose. He knew.

The rookie pointed at the phone but did not turn it on. He simply put it in his pocket as is. "Thanks, ma'am."

"Today you can call me Peck," she informed him and finished the smoothie. "You should have gotten a smoothie, you know, Moore."

Confused by his elevation, Duncan just nodded and got in the car. "It's fruit and shit, ma'am - Peck."

They'd work on that. "It's good for you." She tossed the smoothie and got into the car.

After a few blocks of silence, Duncan spoke up again, "Why do you keep looking at ambulances?"

Now this question was more awkward than the Holly one. "Because only two times is coincidence."

Duncan hesitated. "The guy with the IV?" When Gail nodded, he frowned and wracked his brain. "Was there more?"

"Remember the kid in the lake? His lover called 911, but the kid never got there."

"That's still coincidence, right?"

So he wasn't useless. Gail smiled thinly. "It is," she agreed. "How many Quebec plates since our last stop." Duncan stammered a count, which wasn't too far off Gail's, winning him a reprieve in that particular training game. The joy on Duncan's face was brief, as the game replaced by a new, harder, one, called Guess Who? Duncan lost three times in a row and sulked most of the day.

Back at the station, Gail was presented with a stack of papers from Chloe, who said someone from the main building came by for her. "I didn't peek, but who'd you upset now?"

"It'll be you and Dov in about ten seconds," growled Gail, and she opened the folder. "Ah crap..."

Chloe peeked over Gail's arm. "You're going for detective? You'd make a great detective. You're smart and you see things and pay attention in all these really impressive ways. I mean, you scare me, not in a grrr way, but like in a smart and capable way. And you scare me the rest of the time, but I don't think you're really mean."

"I most certainly am not going for detective, and sure as hell not in guns and gangs with Steve," snapped Gail, and she dumped the whole folder in recycling. Stomping off to the locker room, she was surprised to be followed by Chloe.

"Uncle Frank keeps asking me about it too," she said quietly, surprising Gail yet again. Chloe put the folder down on the bench between them. "Can I keep this?"

"Sure." Gail opened it again to see if her mother left any snide missives. "Don't do it because they want you to, Chloe." There was, indeed, a letter in the mix and Gail folded it up into her pocket. She'd read it, or not, later.

Taking the folder back, Chloe pulled out the handbook. "I don't know if I want it or not, but ... I want to know." It was nice to sit there quietly. "Uncle Frank's adopting a girl."

"Fostering." The correction came out without Gail really thinking about it. She glanced at Chloe, feeling apologetic and wasn't that a weird way to feel about Chloe? But Chloe was smiling. "What?"

"He said it was your idea and I should ask _you_ about her."

There was a long pause and Gail frowned. "Why aren't you talking a mile a minute?"

Chloe kept her eyes on the folder, but also kept smiling, "Sometimes you keep the bubbly inside, Gail." With that, Chloe quickly hugged Gail and bolted. Gail was partly convinced it was all a set up for the hug, but as she left to go home she saw Chloe reading the papers with interest.

She waited until she was home, locked in her room, to read the letter. The note. It was short and to the point. Here was the latest information on the open spot in the rotation. Here was the type of officer they wanted. Here was who she'd work with. And here was a date, underlined in bold.

The date bewildered Gail until her phone rang. It was Nick.

"No, Nicholas, I will not save you from a blind date."

"I wouldn't dare ask. I just... Wanted to say I was sorry."

Gail frowned and kicked her shoes off. "Why? What did you do this time?"

Now Nick paused. "Wow. I can't tell if you're being a bitch or you honestly forgot." He sounded pained. Forgot? Gail looked at the date on the letter again.

"I could be a bitch if you wanted, but I was really just going to watch TV and crash. What the hell are you talking about?"

More silence. "Christ, I envy you." Now he was angry. "Did it mean nothing?"

"Did what mean nothing- oh. Oh!" The words were the trigger. She'd shouted them at _him_ five years ago over the phone. Because of what happened five years ago from today. The deal.

"Seriously, Gail. How the hell did you forget?"

While Nick was angry, Gail was confused as to why. "Hey, asshole, you left me at the damn altar. With a fucking _note_ in my dressing room. I didn't find out you joined the damn army until Steve hunted you down."

"Did you even look?" He was bitter. And possibly drunk.

"No," admitted Gail, honestly. She tried to remember why the date was so important to Nick, though. He couldn't be mad because she'd moved on. Hell, he liked Holly and Gail together, or so he said.

"You know, I don't know what the hell I was thinking... Never mind, Gail."

"Hey, hang on. What the hell is going on?" Memories of conversations she'd tried to forget rushed to the front of her brain. She hadn't picked the date for the wedding. He did. He picked the date because it was the same date as his parents' death. "Jesus, Nick, can't you just say you're depressed about your parents?"

"I'm not! I just... This was supposed to be our day. And I screwed it up. Twice."

Gail snorted, "Nick, we both screwed it up." Her bald statement stopped him. "I was a crap girlfriend and we would have divorced within a year. You and me, we were bad for each other."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "I didn't mean that..."

"What? That I wasn't girlfriend material? You weren't wrong, Nicholas." She sighed. "I'm sorry I forgot."

"No," he mumbled. "I'm sorry for bringing it up." Then he apologized again and hung up.

Gail fell onto her bed. She couldn't fathom loosing her parents. As much as they fought, they were her parents and a part of her still loved them. The paper crinkled and she pulled her mother's missive out to look at it. Ugh. Why was everything so complicated? She crushed the paper into a ball and threw it into the garbage.

Curling up, fully clothed, on her bed, Gail contemplated just going to sleep when her phone rang again. "Goddamn it," she growled, ready to ignore the call until she saw Holly's name on the phone. "Hey."

"Wow, you don't sound happy."

"I'm having a very Peck day," sighed Gail. "The only way it could get better is if Steve showed up or it was the third Thursday." There was silence on the phone. "Please god don't tell me today is the third Thursday of the month..."

"Well..." Holly trailed off. "Is this the monthly dinner?"

"Shit," snarled Gail. That's why her mother underlined the damn date. "I have to get dressed." She scrambled back up, hunting for clean things to wear. "Baby, I'm sorry. I have to go."

"That's fine, we can talk later." Holly sounded a little off and Gail stopped, her hand on a clean shirt. "I'd say have fun but that seems unlikely."

"No kidding. I'm sorry, Holly, I love you."

That brought an honest laugh across the phone, "I love you too."

Gail hung up and stared at her phone. The last thing she really wanted to do was see her parents, but it was Thursday and she had promised. She really wanted to sleep. Or see Holly. Grumbling, Gail wriggled out of her jeans and into a nice dress, to perhaps stave off her father's increasingly pointed remarks. "Dov, get out of the bathroom!" She pounded on the door until he threw it open.

"What the hell is - woah." He was in a towel and Gail quickly pulled him out and popped into the bathroom to get her makeup. "You forget a date with Holly?"

"It's Thursday, I'm late, my parents are going to kill me." Fast makeup was hard to get right, but Gail had mastered it. For all Nick called her high maintenance, she really wasn't. She just liked things the way she liked them.

"You never dressed up that nice when you were dating Chris," Dov remarked, watching the transformation into girl with amazement. Taking a moment to flip Dov off, she stole some of his hair cream to fix her hair. "Hey! That's mine!"

"You can borrow my blush," offered Gail. Satisfied with her look, Gail dashed back to her room, grabbed her shoes and purse, and sprinted for the door, hopping into her heels on the way.

* * *

"I can't believe you ditched me and Traci," complained Steve for the hundredth time.

"Seriously, Steven. I'm sorry!"

"I had to lie to mom!"

Holly had been watching the Peck siblings banter most of the night at dinner and the basketball game. The tickets and meal were Gail's apology for abandoning her sibling to the Peck Family Dinner, and a bribe for Holly not to say what had really happened. That didn't stop a blush and smile from crossing her face, though. Seated beside her in the skybox, Gail squeezed her hand.

"Brother mine, let's get drinks okay?"

As Gail hauled her brother off, Traci oozed into a seat. "Okay, spill."

"What? I have no idea how Gail got these seats."

"One of their cousins, probably," Traci waved a hand. "You keep grinning when Gail apologizes."

Holly sighed and glanced out the door. The Pecks were at the bar down the hall so she pulled out her phone and showed Traci a picture of Gail leaning at the counter of a quiet, fancy, restaurant. Gail was in a wine red dress and heels, her hair curled back in a vintage '40s look. Leaning back slightly, she smiled at the camera in a femme fatale sort of way.

"Woah," breathed Traci. "She was going to wear _that_ to dinner with her parents?"

"So she says." Holly had been called, mere minutes after their first phone call that night was aborted. Gail's request had been simple, begging Holly to please meet her for dinner instead of making her suffer with her parents. She then sent Holly that photo. "I swear, I have never gotten dressed so fast in my life."

"I don't blame you." Traci shook her head. "You know, I get so used to her in jeans and those boots, I forget she used to girl it up all the time."

Holly lost her focus, trying to picture a world where Gail was girly all the time. "What happened?"

"She moved in with Dov, after Chris left for Timmons." Traci stopped and looked embarrassed. "You know what, never mind."

The timing snapped Holly back into reality. Moving in with Dov. "After Perik?" When Traci froze Holly added, "She told me."

"Jerry was my fiancé," sighed Traci, looking over at the siblings. Okay, maybe Gail hadn't told her everything. "I don't think she and I would have been friends without that. And without Nick and Andy going undercover." Traci smiled. "It's funny. She's closer to my age than Andy's but it was easier to be friends with Andy first. Gail just never let's people in."

"Well," sighed Holly. "Their parents..."

"Are batshit insane," agreed Traci. "They didn't ask about you once, though. Steve just said she'd had a long day and was probably asleep."

"It was _supposed_ to be my wedding anniversary," Gail announced and Holly blushed. "I told you they were gossiping about us."

"Since when did you learn to speak girl." Steve handed Traci a drink and sat beside her.

"Ass."

"Brat."

They started signing rudely at each other, until Holly grabbed Gail's hand and pulled her over for a kiss. "Wedding?"

"Nick," grumbled Gail, leaning back. "He's a moron for picking the date, too. Same day his parents died."

Many people would have heard that as Gail being uncaring or unfeeling. Holly saw that Gail actually was angry that Nick would set himself up for that kind of pain. She kept hold of Gail's hand and leaned into her shoulder. "Clearly you need to pick the next wedding date."

"Is that a proposal, 'cause it needs work, nerd," laughed Gail, but she let go of Holly's hand to flip the armrest up and drape her arm over her shoulders. Much better, Holly agreed, "What are we watching again?"

As one, everyone replied, "Basketball!"

Discussions of marriage, exes, and slinky dresses were put to the side to watch the game. Holly and Traci knew more about the sport, and Traci confessed that Leo had been upset to learn he wasn't coming. That had surprised Gail who said next time they should bring him, because more people who knew more about sports than she did was just fun. Even Holly wasn't sure if that was a sarcastic remark but Gail did adore mini-humans, so it might have been serious.

After the game was over Gail tossed them one more surprise and they got to meet the players. Holly was positively gleeful and got her jersey signed by the player himself while Steve simply asked for a signed ball for his girlfriend's son. Gail nudged Traci at that point and said she'd better put out, which resulted in the two giggling.

Back at her place, Holly hung up the jersey reverently. She was going to get it framed but had already sent a selfie of her wearing it to her mother, who was jealous, and wanted to know how she'd gotten that. That was an interesting question. The last her parents heard, Gail was included in the group of friends like Lisa and Rachel. There had been no mention of the relationship status. She just wasn't sure how her parents would take it.

Her mother had taken Holly's sexuality harder than her father, who was pretty much laconic about anything that wasn't science. Once she got over it, Holly's mother had been a confidant for almost all her relationships, including the myriad fiascoes with straight girls. That said, the fallout over Gail had not gone as well as one might hope. The argument over moving to the States went worse. Both of her parents accused her of making impulsive choices and running instead of dealing with thing.

Ironically, that was why she'd 'lip attacked' Gail in interrogation. Deal with things. Deal with the fact that she was still terribly hung up on Gail, in a way she'd never wanted to be. It was supposed to be an easy thing, a friendship that grew into something more and, eventually, love. Love scared the shit out of Holly. That was her own hurdle, though. Gail's was more like relationship self-immolation. If things got too much, or too weird, she broke things as best she could and escaped.

Except… Gail wasn't doing that anymore. At least not now with Holly. And Holly wasn't running from a serious commitment, which was kind of novel after her last serious relationship. Six years ago, she'd been dumped by the woman she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with, because oops, she wasn't gay after all.

Since then, it had been a series of casual, friendly flings. Nothing too deep, in part because she didn't want to get burned again, but also because she just didn't connect with anyone that way. She did with Gail, though. Strange, petulant, sarcastic, outright mean when she wanted to be, Gail. Gail who, by her own admission, was immature and prone to self-destructive relationship patterns.

And who was sitting on her couch right now, having gone an extra mile or ten to treat her girlfriend out to a night at a sporting event she hated. Gail could have just given her brother the tickets, but she knew that Holly would want to go too. So she sucked it up and spent a boring night, just for Holly. Who the hell wouldn't think that was love?

Holly glanced at Gail, feeling incredibly guilty, and asked, "Have you told your parents we're dating again?"

"No," admitted Gail. "Which doesn't mean they don't know."

"Do they _really_ spy on you?" She dropped onto the couch and curled up against Gail, too keyed up to consider sleeping yet.

"Sometimes. Not right now, though, we have a deal." Gail wrapped an arm around Holly and pulled her close to kiss her cheek. "Ever since I moved out we talk less, which if you knew how little we talked when I lived with them, you would be impressed." Gail caressed Holly's face, "But this was you trying to tell me you haven't told your parents yet."

Holly grimaced and pressed her face into Gail's cleavage. "I never should have dated a cop."

"Says the woman with her face in my boobs."

"They're very nice," smiled Holly. "I could live here." Gail laughed and her fingers found Holly's chin, drawing it up so they could kiss. "This is good too." She practically crawled onto Gail, pushing her back into the couch so they could stretch out. "Can you stay tonight?"

"I can," confirmed Gail, drawing her in to kiss again. "If you did my laundry."

"Curiously enough, I _may_ have washed the clothes you left here," Holly grinned. "What about your uniform?"

"If I leave by seven, it'll be fine."

Holly did hate that part of their routine, the scheduling and adjustments. But that said, it meant she had Gail in her bed for another night, and that was worth it.

* * *

_Surprising your girlfriend with things she loves, even if you tolerate them, can be awesome._


	24. Unacceptable Behavior

**Chapter 24: Unacceptable Behavior**

_Author's Note: My family is far too accepting and tolerant of me and my sexuality, even if it took some people a while. Asking friends what shitty things their parents said about them being gay to write a fic was odd. It became less odd and more depressing when we read things that Michelle Bachmann and Fred Phelps said.  
_

_Gail's passcodes are random by intent and she changes them, so if they're different later then it is by intent. Her whole family are cops, it's the only way to keep things secret._

* * *

"Dad?" Gail practically bounced off him as she rounded the corner to her car. He was out of uniform for once, which was unexpected. Her father wore his uniform like a shield.

"Hi, kiddo. Can we talk?"

Gail tilted her head and nodded. "Sure." She made no move to go anywhere, nor did he. "Everything okay? I didn't to anything to embarrass Mom again, did I?" She was reasonably sure she'd been under the radar with all things.

Bill Peck stalled. "No. I'm here on my own." He hesitated and looked away. "You're dating a woman. Again."

Technically she was dating the same woman again. Not wanting to get into semantics, Gail just nodded. "I am."

"I don't understand." His hands went into his pockets, grumpily. "Why?"

"Why what? Why a woman?" Now her father nodded. "Because it happened. Same way I decided to date a guy."

"But this isn't a guy, Gail," he sighed. "And I don't understand why women. Why now? You're almost 30, and you're suddenly a- a-"

"Lesbian," Gail filled in. "Dad, it's not a phase. And it's not a choice. This is what it is, okay? I fell in love with a girl, and she's in love with me, and that's just what it is."

Her father looked away. "How could you do this?"

"Do what?" There was no answer from her father and Gail checked the time. "Look, Dad, I have an appointment so I need to go."

Nodding, Bill hesitated and finally said, "I don't like it. It's unnatural and wrong."

Gail flinched. She'd always suspected her father held something like that. Once, he'd called one of her teachers a fairy. But having it aimed at yourself, from your own father, was painful. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Dad." She had no idea where the politeness came from, when all she felt was rage.

"This is just against everything we ever taught you, Gail. It's bad enough we have to cater to the gays, have parades, but now you? This? Did we fail somehow?"

Gail felt like she'd been punched. "Seriously? This is how you want to do it?" Her father looked startled. "What do you want?"

"I want you to stop playing around."

"Is that what you think? Wow." Gail pushed her hands through her hair.

"This rebellion- this is just lashing out. Ever since you were abducted-"

"This has nothing to do with Perik!" Gail's voice was loud enough to grab the attention of the other officers in the vicinity. She swallowed and said more quietly, "Go home, Dad. Tell mom you tried to talk me out of being a lesbian, and I told you to fuck off. I don't care anymore." She jerked her car door open and threw her purse inside, "But I'm the same Gail I've always been. Right? Just failing your expectations every day."

Slamming the door, Gail drove out of the lot faster than she intended. Shit. When she pulled up at the park, she resisted the urge to hit her steering wheel or punch anything. Fuck. How the hell did her father drop that bomb. Gail winced and pulled out her phone to text her brother.

_Our father is a raging homophobe._

She really hadn't expected him to go there. Nor did she expect Steve to text her right back.

_What did he say?_

_It's unnatural and wrong and did they fail at raising me._

_Shit. Our father? Was he drunk?_

_Smelled stone cold sober._

Steve didn't reply to that and Gail flipped her phone to silent, shoving it into her pocket. She stepped out of the car and took a deep breath. Calm. Breathe in, breathe out. People wondered why she had high walls, why she pushed them away. Most people just hurt you, wanted what they wanted, and you weren't a consideration. Most people included her parents it seemed.

She wasn't her parents. Holly wasn't most people. She opened her eyes and looked across the park. Neither was she, decided Gail, and smiled as she saw Sophie playing on the jungle gym with the other foster kids. Pulling the box of donuts from the car, Gail walked over to sit by the social worker, not willing to break up the game.

"You should stop bringing junk food," joked Anne, the social worker.

"Is that a complaint?" Gail grinned and popped the box. It was like catnip. Six kids surrounded them, cheering the donuts, and immediately wolfing them down.

"Not _really_." Anne cheerfully handed out napkins.

Sophie was watching Gail curiously. "You're having an eat your feelings day."

Kid was perceptive. "Nah, just got into an argument with someone before I came here, sweetie." Maybe a few years ago she'd do that, but it felt wrong now. "How about you? Did you like dinner with just Frank and Noelle?"

"I guess," she mumbled, tearing the napkin.

Gail knew that Sophie had been a little belligerent. "They said you didn't talk much."

Nodding, Sophie asked, "How come _you_ can't adopt me?"

Gail glanced at the social worker, who shook her head. Clearly this was not a leak. "I'd love to, but I can't. They won't let me."

"Is it because you have a girlfriend?"

Sighing, Gail ate the last of her donut before replying. "No, it's not. They don't think I'm ready, that's all."

There were tears in Sophie's eyes. "But I like you best!"

Right. This was why people hugged. Gail pulled Sophie into a gentle hug, "Hey, I like you best too." She sighed, "You know I used to work with Frank and Noelle?" There was a nod. "Well. When I tried to adopt you, they gave me lots of advice and support. And I told Noelle how come I like you so much, and she feels the same way."

"They have a baby they'll like more than me."

"They have a baby they'll like differently than you, sweetie."

Sophie squirmed out of Gail's hug and stared at her. "Tell me why." When Gail didn't answer, Sophie insisted. "Tell me why they said you can't."

Jesus. Gail exhaled and glanced at Anne, silently begging for some space. The other woman led the rest of the kids away, giving the two some privacy. "Okay. A couple years ago I got hurt really badly in a case." She regarded her own knuckles, thinking about how to explain all of this in a way that didn't terrify the child. "Sometimes it comes up at work, and the last time it did I got very angry. So they read my record and decided I wasn't ready yet. That I'm not ... healed."

She really couldn't explain it better than that right now. She didn't want to. It was hard to talk about, and Gail hadn't argued when they'd told her that was the reason either. She knew in her heart it was right. If this was another year from now, maybe it would be different, but it wasn't. It was now, and it was here, and Gail was still damaged.

"Do you have nightmares too?" Sophie's voice was the softest whisper ever.

"Yeah, I do," whispered Gail.

The girl threw her arms around Gail, "If I live with Frank and Noelle, will I still see you?"

"All the time, sweetie. All the time."

There were snuffles and tears, but Sophie finally let go, promising to really talk to Noelle and Frank. And like that, the visit drew to a close. Gail walked the kids back to the van, and one of the other girls dawdled.

"Officer Gail?" She kicked at the dirt, nervously.

Rooting in her brain for the name, Gail was saved when Sophie mouthed it. "Yes, Kate?"

The girl blinked and blushed hearing her name. "Sophie said you had a girlfriend."

Oh dear. The other kids were suddenly silent, paying attention. "I do. Her name is Holly." Gail reached into her pocket for her phone. "Sometimes when I pick up Sophie, she's with me."

"How'd you know?" Jesus, kids just asked things. They were worse than straight chicks.

"Well. When you like someone, you just know." Gail ignored the texts from her brother and opened a photo of her and Holly at the basketball game. "Here. This is me and her and my brother and his girlfriend."

All the kids crowded around to look. They all decided she was pretty, but Sophie announced that Holly was even prettier in person _and_ a doctor. Suddenly Gail's stock went up. It was restorative, having a group of children be so open and accepting of Gail being gay. A total opposite of how her father made her feel. It was bewildering. Gail helped get the kids in the van and was not surprised when Anne pulled her over for a question.

"Do you think Kate..."

"She's _eight_," Gail pointed out. "And I have no gaydar. But ... Y'know she's talking."

"True." Anne paused. "Would you mind coming over to see her some time? _Just_ her?"

Gail looked at the van of kids and her heart ached. "I can do that." She didn't need to think. Those kids needed someone, and if she could help even a little. Some had been afraid of cops, some hated them, and some needed to see people being people. But this, this feeling of hope in a kid's eyes, knowing that Gail was there and gay, that was how she knew her father was all wrong.

Without thinking much, Gail found herself driving to Holly's instead of her apartment. She circled the block, spotting the office lights on, and pulled around back. Holly had given her a key and a remote for the garage during the great unpacking, insisting Gail could come over any time. It still felt odd to show up unannounced, even though they were sleeping together. It was a small, strange invasion of privacy.

Still, Gail thumbed the remote to open the garage and let herself in. Once the garage closed, and Gail was inside, she heard Holly shout down, "Better be my girlfriend and not an axe murderer."

"¿Por qué no los dos?"

"Spanish. You speak Spanish too?" Holly's head popped over the stair railing, her hair in an adorably messy bun. "Or are you just quoting commercials?"

"Actually I do speak Spanish."

"You never cease to impress me, Gail Peck."

"I've got Russian down now, too," smiled Gail and she made her way up the stairs. "Officer Nemov said I sound like a real Muscovite now."

"Fluent in Russian, when do you learn these languages? Why did you?" Holly shook her head and looped her arms around Gail's neck. "Is there another one you're not telling me about?"

"Just one... I listened to tapes while I was running." Gail kissed her lightly. "Anything and everything to get you out of my head." Resting her hands on Holly's waist, she drew her closer. "Didn't work. I just dreamed about you in Punjabi. It turned into this whole Bollywood thing, where you were dancing with Andy and Chloe as your backups. Very weird."

Holly bubbled a laugh. "Punjabi? Why Punjabi?"

"It's the third most spoken language in Canada," smirked Gail. "I can't read it well yet." Languages just stuck in her head, though. They worked far more than math and science ever had.

Holly shook her head and kissed Gail again, "Give it time." They stood in the hallway, kissing for a while. "Just here for a booty call?"

"Sympathy and cuddles." Gail rested her head on Holly's shoulder.

"Is Sophie still mad about the Bests?" Of course Gail had told her about Sophie's mini tantrum and frustration.

Gail kissed Holly's shoulder. "She was mad because she wanted me to adopt her. I told her I was still kinda messed up." The arms around her tightened and held her close. "Hey, it's okay. They're right. I'm pretty crazy."

"You're not messed up. You're perfectly sane," whispered Holly. "It's just the rest of the world that's crazy."

"Is that your professional opinion?" Gail inhaled, taking in the smell of Holly's skin. While Holly didn't answer, Gail knew it was girlfriend Holly who had spoken. "Sophie's fine. They asked if I could come hang out with another girl."

Holly started to toy with the hair at the back of Gail's neck. "Is that good?"

"They think... _She_ thinks she might be gay, I think. I have no gaydar." In her arms, Holly snickered. "It's not funny! I'm serious!"

"You have no gaydar, really?"

"Okay, that's funny," she allowed. They kissed again and Gail's stomach growled. "I haven't had dinner. You?" Holly leaned away and looked thoughtful. "That's a no. Come on, bookworm, I'll cook."

"Oh you _are_ needy," Holly blinked, letting Gail lead her downstairs.

"There are other reasons to want to cook," muttered Gail, popping open the fridge. "Where did all your tomatoes go?"

Holly blushed, sitting on a stool. "I didn't want to accidentally eat one before you showed up." Smiling, Gail pulled out avocados and cheese and bread. "Tuna melts? Okay, give. What happened? It can't be this kid, unless you're trying to tell me you want to go into CYAC."

Wincing, Gail shook her head. "No. That'd eat me alive." She pulled her phone out and slid it over. "Passcode's 1383."

"Oooh, we're at this point in our relationship? Should I tell you mine?"

"It's your mother's birthday." Gail smirked and took the can opener out, "And before you ask, I've never used it. Check the texts from Steve."

Holly looked perplexed but did so. Keeping watch of her reflection in the window, Gail watched her face go from confused to surprised to angry. "What did he actually say?" Her voice was low and tense. So Gail recited the conversation, word for word, including the part where she told her father to fuck off. "Huh. I thought he was upset about it hurting your career."

"Dad doesn't get my sense of humor either," admitted Gail. "I once told him I'd rather be abducted than go to work with my mother, which actually is a fringe benefit of having been suspended... I'll never work in her department." She side glanced at Holly who was smirking ruefully. Relief washed through her, just seeing that Holly found the joke for what it was.

"You have a dark sense of humor, sweetheart," smiled Holly. "But I think maybe if I'd known you then..."

"They were in New Zealand. I didn't see them for two weeks." She shook her head. "You probably would have done what Traci did, hauled me out of the hospital and made me talk to people." Gail set the cast iron pan on the range to start heating it up.

"I knew I liked Traci." Holly got up and pulled out plates and glasses. "What did your parents do?"

Gail exhaled. "My mother sent me to a therapist way the hell out of town. Made me live at home. Got mad when I started dating Nick again. The usual." Waving a hand, Gail put the bread in the pan to toast it. "They hate Nick. And Chris... Huh. I kinda hoped they'd like you because you're a doctor."

Lips quirking into that adorable side-smile, Holly shook her head, "So you're only into me for my degree."

The bread was flipped and Gail sliced the avocados. "All those big words are a turn on," agreed Gail. "Plus side, I won't be going to any family dinners, so you don't have to worry about them hating you."

"That's a little extreme."

"How did your parents take you coming out?" She sprinkled cheese on the bread and let it start to melt before putting it on plates and adding avocados and tuna.

"Well I was fifteen so ... They caught me making out with my 'best friend' in my room." Gail giggled and Holly looked embarrassed. "Totally cliché, I know. Dad was okay with it, but Mom said she couldn't spend the night and we had the most awkward conversation ever. It wasn't in her mom lexicon, so _now_ it's really funny. At the time, I was freaking out that they'd kick me out or something. But dad just hugged me and said no matter what, he loved me."

The feeling of jealousy tickled her spine and Gail pushed a plate over. "I have no idea how that even feels," sighed Gail. She couldn't find one memory where her parents said that. The closest was her father telling her not to joke about being abducted, but even then he never said he loved her. "Steve calls us trained monkeys."

Holly was silent, eating her sandwich with a rhapsodic expression. "Okay. So I can't fix that, honey," she finally said.

"What? No, I didn't think you could. I just... Needed someone? To talk to, I guess." Gail bit into her sandwich.

They ate quietly for a while. "What did you do before?"

"Get drunk."

"Then this would be better," agreed Holly. "But I do need to finish my report..."

"Can I hang out? I have my iPad." She smiled shyly at Holly, "I just feel safe here. Like everything will be okay, even if I go a little crazy. Or you go crazy." Spinning around on her stool, Gail looked up at the ceiling.

"You need a drawer. And some room in my closet," decided Holly. Gail stopped spinning and blinked at Holly. Did she just say she wanted Gail to have space in her house? "That was pushy? Yeah, that was pushy. Bad timing, too. I just want you, I mean, I like that you feel safe here. I feel safer, better, when you're here. You're the first girl I ever gave my key too, actually. You're, um, the only one who slept over, too. Even before we were dating, unless you count my mom, and I really don't."

Gail slid off her stool and kissed Holly to stop her rambling, "I want a big drawer. And room for shoes."

"A big drawer. You want to leave a uniform here too?"

"No, you'd just want me to wear it 'cause I'm sexy in my uniform." When Holly blushed, Gail kissed her again, "This is a step up from me just leaving things here when I'm late."

Holly smiled and made a pleased sound, "I may have put your things in a drawer already."

"Aw, I liked my pile."

After dinner, they ended up in the office, Holly working at her big desk and Gail reading up on the other kids in Sophie's foster group, sprawled on the sofa. While she certainly appreciated the work CYAC did, she knew that kind of job would eat her alive. Scratching one more possible future off her list, Gail flipped to a doc her mother had sent with a list of all potential jobs. She had been lazy before, reluctant to invest in her career, but now having trained Gerald she had an itch to do more. Was this how it started for everyone?

"You look very serious," remarked Holly.

The thought came out of her mouth, unhindered by the remark. "I think Noelle's coming back to Fifteen soon."

Holly turned around in her chair, resting her arms on the back. "That's not what you were reading."

"Oh, no. I was thinking about the whole T.O. thing. Training Officer. Since Gerald's probably gonna pass. Finally. And I can't be Ollie's partner anymore, and I really don't want to get stuck with anyone else ..." She sighed and tossed the iPad to the foot of the couch. "It's silly."

"No it's not." Holly kicked her chair and wheeled over to pick up the iPad. She lingered over the lock screen before taping in four digits and frowning. "Seriously, who uses different codes on their devices?"

"The same people who use random number generators to make them in the first place. 7643."

Holly tapped in that code and read the app Gail had left open. "You highlight your ebooks? And I'm the nerd?" Not replying, Gail scrunched down on the couch and put her feet up. "This is from your mother?"

"Yup." She popped the p loudly out of habit. "Lots of options. Except every one where my family is involved."

"Do those even exist?"

"Not really, no." Gail closed her eyes and recited off the various positions her relatives had, until Holly stopped her by covering Gail's mouth with her hand. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"You know, I don't understand something," Holly decided, putting the iPad on Gail's stomach. "You're smart. I mean, insanely gifted smart. You could do _anything_ in the world. You practically inhale languages and I know you actually understand all the crap I like to spout out about medicine." Holly sighed, "So how come you always act like you expect to fail?"

Oh. That. Gail opened her eyes and looked up at Holly quietly. "My nickname growing up was Gail the Fail. Actually it's Garbage Pail Gail the Pale Fail." She folded her arms under her head, turning her face away to look at the ceiling. "My cousins, Steve, they're all better at cop stuff. Better detectives, stronger, faster... They'd pick on me, since I'm the youngest, until I'd cry and my mother would tell me I wasn't being a Peck. Dad'd just have this look... I'm absolute crap at sports too. which pissed him off, though it's funny _now_ since he's having the stupid homo-hissy fit."

Holly's hand rested on her thigh, "Sweetheart, you don't have to be strong."

"No, I have to be _tough_. Don't let things like that get to me, don't let Perik get to me. My mother was angry I was in therapy that long." She exhaled an angry breath. She hadn't actually told the, she'd gone back to therapy. "Being smarter didn't seem to matter. If I got an A, I should have gotten an A+. I got the highest score on the police exam for my class, but that's just what I was supposed to get. And I didn't the highest score ever, so I got shit for that."

"I see why you call then ex-Peck-tations," grumbled Holly. "But Gail, that's like saying you're not a good swimmer because you're not Michael Phelps!"

Which was something Gail had known. "Yeah." She pushed herself up on her elbows. "Unattainable goals. So I stopped trying to be the cop they wanted me to be." Holly just looked at her, saying nothing. "I just don't know what I want to be yet, Holly."

After a long moment, Holly got out of the chair and nudged Gail over so she could curl up against her on the couch, face to face. "I don't mind how long you take, if you don't mind how long it takes me to get back to where I was."

"How's that going?" Gail stroked Holly's back gently. She'd been aware of the complications Holly had faced, taking her job back at a pay cut and a decrease of responsibilities. The amount of scut work, as Holly put it, had increased, though she'd still had to work on as many articles as before.

Holly made a grumbling noise and pressed her face into Gail's shoulder. "You got demoted once, didn't you?"

"Kind of. Pay cut, suspension." She scooted over and Holly draped a leg over her own, nestling in. "Guy died because I didn't search him." There was a soft 'oh' from Holly. "Little different." They lay there quietly for a while. "I'll still love you if you become a mortician," decided Gail.

Holly giggled. "I'll love you when you become a mall cop."

Let the future be what it will be.

* * *

_Accepting people for who they are is never a bad thing. Unless you hate who they are._


	25. The Fosters

**Chapter 25: The Fosters**

_Author's Note: Sophie deserves a family. Oh and I love watching The Fosters. Steph and Lena are adorable. This was delayed because I got the flu._

* * *

Being swamped and doing the grunt work at 25 was a lot easier than at 36. It was worse at 36 when you had a serious relationship with a woman who was working hard do advocate for a child's fostering, and wanted you involved. Talking to the therapist about it had been weird, and while Holly was feeling better about that, she really wanted to talk to Lisa and Rachel. The problem was that they didn't know about Sophie, and Holly wasn't sure it was her place to tell them. Not to mention they hadn't been as close since the move that wasn't.

So when she came home to find Gail on the desk, grilling burgers and drinking beer with Lisa and Rachel, it was strange. "Gail, how insane are you?" Holly accepted the beer and eyed the group.

"Pretty nuts, but you said you were missing girl time. So..." Gail gestured.

"But you said you're working tonight."

"Yes," nodded Gail, hoisting her drink which was actually just a soda. "Exactly right. I have to leave in an hour and Rachel will grill the meat."

"If that's another straight joke, Blondie," drawled Rachel, mock warningly.

The bantering between Gail and Rachel seemed practically natural and weird. They were talking about Gail and Nick's wedding, or lack there of, in Las Vegas. Gail was arguing that she had nothing to do with any of the planning, nor was it running away. Her parents had actually been there. Rachel was fascinated by the idea of the wedding in Las Vegas and Gail was surprisingly tolerant (for Gail) about the retelling. It was nothing Holly didn't know.

"I'm a bad friend," announced Lisa abruptly, catching Holly by surprise.

"No arguments here." Gail lifted her drink in mock salute which Lisa met, chagrined.

Holly picked up her own beer, feeling rather perplexed. "Why are you a bad friend?"

When Lisa hesitated it was Rachel and Gail who said, as one, "BitchTits is happy you didn't leave Canada."

Beer did not shoot out Holly's nose, but it was a near thing. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you guys..."

"I'm more mad you were going to ask blondie to run away with you."

Rachel nodded, agreeing with Lisa. "Seriously, that was stupid impulse Holly who slept with her roommate."

Lisa added, "Or who fell madly in love with her straight TA."

"Okay!" Holly waved her hands. "God, yes. I know it was stupid and crazy, but." She looked at Gail, sheepishly, and saw the blonde smiling. "I'm really in love with her."

"I can't believe you were going to give her up," grumbled Lisa and Holly startled. She certainly hadn't mentioned that Gail had let her go while still helping pack.

"I can't leave Toronto right now." Gail sipped her beer. "And at the time, I was trying to adopt."

That shut both Lisa and Rachel up. "Adopt?" Lisa almost stuttered.

"Gail, Holly doesn't want kids." Rachel looked between them, confounded.

And Gail just nodded. "I am aware of this."

"We talked," Holly noted and kicked the railing. "I offered the long distance thing."

"Yeah, that was just going to make one of us hate the other, baby." Gail leaned around and kissed Holly gently.

Lisa made a face, "Stop being cute. And stop being right. I liked it better when I though you were uneducated and blue collar."

"I liked you better when you were a lopsided boob job, so we're even."

For a moment Holly worried the two would argue but she saw a glimmer of delight in Gail's eyes, matched by Lisa's. Oh dear god. "When did you two decide to be friends?"

"We're not!" The two women shouted at once.

"I think she's an elitist ass," snarled Gail.

Lisa nodded, "And she's a stuck up ice princess. Go back to the adoption. Holly was moving to the US and you were going to adopt a kid."

"It's a Peck thing," sighed Gail. "When you have something complicated, make it more complicated." Gail perched on the railing and tugged Holly into her arms, though she continued to talk to Lisa. "Her name is Sophie and they turned me down for a couple reasons."

"Single lesbian?" Rachel looked over from the grill. "Or cop things?"

"Cop things. My record had ups and downs."

There was a pause and Lisa noted, "I was suspended for conduct once." When Gail looked interested she added, "I slept with a teacher at the hospital."

"I thought you slept with a teacher's wife." Gail sounded amused.

"That too." Lisa looked embarrassed and Gail laughed. "I don't like how I'm the only one with a horrible nickname."

Holly snorted and pointed at Lisa, Rachel, and herself in turn. "BitchTits, ManEater, ImpulseSex."

Eyes sparking, Gail whispered 'ImpulseSex?' into Holly's ear as Rachel asked if Gail had a nickname. "Ah, Ice Queen or Frigid Bitch is what it usually get."

"Yeah," acknowledged Rachel, "but what do your friends call you?"

"Peck. It's a name and an epitaph," smiled Gail. "Or an insult. It's really a wonderful multifaceted, love/hate name."

Rachel grinned and the friendly banter continued until Gail pulled herself away to go to the station. She lingered with Holly in the house for a moment, kissing her and promising to come back after work. Back on the deck, Rachel handed her a burger. "Did you know she went to college?"

"Lisa? It's still in doubt that she graduated, but I do recall her in our classes."

Rolling her eyes, Rachel gestured towards the house, "Gail!"

"I didn't the first time you met her," smiled Holly. "Criminal Justice." Holly also knew Gail had taken some business management classes to 'prep her for a white shirt,' per her parents, but had not officially minored in it because it was 'stupid.'

"Why is she a beat cop?"

"Patrol officer," corrected Holly. Not that 'beat cop' was necessarily insulting, it just usually was meant that way. "You should ask her, Rachel. It's complicated."

Lisa sighed, "She did. Exactly how many Pecks are there in police, Holls? I get the feeling she was downplaying exactly how blue her blood is, and I mean that in every way possible."

Holly hesitated. "Her mother's in charge of internal affairs, her father's the head Inspector of her Division, her godfather's the chief of police, and there's basically at least one Peck or a blood relative in every division, every department. So ... Yeah."

Both her friends looked flabbergasted. "Shit," muttered Lisa. "I asked her about how crazy that was and your cop hottie told us about the kid." Of all things possible, Lisa looked sympathetic. "Holly, she's going to want to be a parent one day."

Getting another beer, Holly sat on her bench. "Yeah, I know. And she's amazing with them. They love her." Even mature, sorting her shit out, Gail was a child at heart.

"You don't want kids," Lisa pointed out. "You've _never_ wanted kids the whole time I've known you. That was why you broke up with the accountant whatever her name was."

Holly sipped her beer. "Melissa and can I call parlay?"

It was an old joke, calling parlay. The friends had used it since the first pirate movie as a way to agree to let each other say what they were thinking without judgement. Had Holly been thinking, she'd have called it when she announced her move. At the time she'd been sure Rachel and Lisa would be supportive. Now she wasn't. Parlay also had come to mean a time when you could say things that weren't well thought out, but spoken from the heart.

"Of course," promised Rachel. A moment later Lisa muttered her agreement.

Holly closed her eyes. "I'm in love with Gail. And I spend a lot of time with her and... She's good with kids. So I'm around them more. I was never around kids before. We don't really hang with them." This won quiet murmurs of agreement. "I see Gail with kids and I think she's amazing and I like the kids and ... Maybe I _do_ want them and I just never had the right person to want them with. I maybe kind of want them with her." She opened one eye and screwed her face up at her friends. "I'm crazy huh?"

"You're our crazy." Lisa, of all people, sat next to her on the bench and hugged her. This was why Lisa was her friend. When her parents had argued about the last second switch to forensics, Lisa stood by her and helped her figure out how to survive without her parents' money. Even if she didn't always agree, Lisa would help. "No having babies right away. You should try living with her first."

"They'd have adorable babies, though," mused Rachel, who had been vocal about her biological clock ticking lately. "What's Gail's real hair color? And does she have a brother?"

"Kinda what you saw tonight. She stopped dying it when we broke up." Holly leaned into Lisa and sighed. "Her brother's a ginger and not single. Also ew? I'm not having a baby."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You would have amazingly cute little babies, I'm just saying." Squeezing in on the other side, Rachel wrapped her arms around Lisa and Holly and hugged them both. "I'm glad you stayed in Canada, Impulse Girl."

"I'm kind of glad I didn't move too, but ... God I wish I knew why."

She spent the rest of the evening talking about regular things with her friends, like movies and their dates. Rachel had a new boy who was possibly serious and wanted them, including Gail, to meet him. When Lisa joked Gail could run a background check, Rachel looked worried and Holly had to promise that Gail wouldn't.

When she woke up in the morning, Gail was in bed with her, hair still damp from a shower, sound asleep. Holly knew better than to surprise Gail, so she just turned around and curled up into her, getting that extra precious hour in her company rather than sleeping or running. Early on, Gail would invariably wake up when Holly did that, the sound and movement startling her out of sleep. That didn't mean she'd get up. On the contrary, Gail often burrowed back under the covers and looked grouchy.

Recently though, Gail had started sleeping through Holly getting up and dressed. Holly had not yet asked her about it, fearing the answer a little. Downstairs, the coffee machine was set up for her and Gail had left a note.

_Dinner with Sophie at 7. She wants you to come if you're not working. I have the day off so send me on errands after noon. Love you._

Holly smiled and flipped it over to leave her answer (yes), a list of two errands (dry cleaning and groceries), and a confirmation of adoration.

This part of life was currently her favorite. The little things with Gail, spending time with her and having normal life moments. Even more than that were the moments where they did little things for each other. Gail gassed up Holly's car without being asked, Holly took Gail's dress uniform to the cleaners when she noticed it had a small stain after a funeral for a retired officer, and they both just shared random chores.

At seven, Gail drove them over to Sophie's foster home and Holly found herself the surprise focus of a couple other girls. They demanded to know if she was _really_ a doctor, and when they found out she was a 'dead people doctor,' their fascination grew. Sophie was delighted to brag and tell them that she knew all about Holly's job, and explained in slightly more gory detail than Holly would have, but she did nod and confirm that, indeed, Sophie was right.

At dinner, though, Sophie had a more important topic to discuss. The fostering with the Bests was a go, and she'd be moving in with them in a week, but as soon as Gail stepped away to the bathroom, Sophie had her moment, "You like Gail a lot. Why doesn't she live with you and not the stinky boys."

Holly blinked. "We haven't talked about it," she said slowly. "Sophie, do you know what it means, me and Gail dating?"

The girl nodded. "You're girlfriends. You kiss and hold hands and probably have c-e-x." She looked pleased when Holly startled and blushed.

It was not a conversation she really was comfortable having, with or without Gail present. "It's s-e-x and ... Okay, you do know. Um..." Now what?

"So why doesn't she live with you? Do you have stinky boy roommates?"

"No," Holly said slowly. "I have a house. Townhouse. It's, um." She frowned and wondered where this was going. "You can come over, if you want."

Sophie took another piece of bread. "Okay. Next week?"

"If I don't have to, um, work. Sure." What the hell was she doing? How did a child railroad her like that?

Thankfully, Gail returned and paused to kiss Holly's cheek before sitting down, "Sophie, don't interrogate Holly. And if you fill up on bread, you will be very grumpy about desert."

The magic word distracted Sophie for a second, but not enough for Holly's sanity. "Holly said I could come over next week."

"Oh did she?" Gail looked interested. "You know next week is the last week, kiddo."

Sophie grinned ear to ear. "I know. And if you move in with Holly, then I can sleep over when you babysit me."

Gail blinked and looks at Holly. "Well. That's for us to figure out, Sophie." The little girl fixed Gail with a look that clearly asked if Gail thought she was being serious. "Hey, I told you..." She paused and looked at Holly.

"Told her what?" Holly smiled, hoping Sophie saw it as amused and Gail saw it as a girlfriend threat.

"That we hadn't talking about it at all, and ... Um. Hey, look! Dinner."

Holly and Sophie eyed each other but let it go. The rest of dinner passed uneventfully. Holly and Gail got big hugs before Sophie would let them go home.

"You want to stay over tonight?" Holly asked the question lightly as Gail turned onto the road.

"Want, yes, but I have to meet with Oliver early tomorrow." She made a face. "Stupid training officer training."

"How early?"

"I'd have to get up and out the door by six. And I need a clean uniform."

Holly sighed. "You should leave a uniform at my place." She'd made the suggestion before but been blown off with a joke about how Holly found the uniform too sexy.

After a moment of silence, Gail nodded, "Yeah."

Blinking, Holly looked at her girlfriend. "Yes?"

"Yes. You're right. I was going to get another spare anyway." Gail's thumbs bounced on the steering wheel. Apparently she wasn't going to bring up the idea of moving in either. Of course, it wasn't like Holly had a hell of a lot of experience with that herself. That was why she bought her home on her own. It was just easier.

That said, Gail was the only girlfriend who'd ever stayed over regularly. Actually or at all, now that Holly thought about it. Gail was the only other person to have slept in that bed. She wasn't sure how to approach the topic. So she went another way.

"Sophie says we probably have c-e-x," Holly said casually.

"What?" Gail spelled the word back and laughed. "Did you correct her spelling?"

"I may have."

"That's my nerd." Gail didn't seem bothered by it in the least. She pulled up to the front of the house and parked, looking at Holly fondly. "Next week is her last week in the group home."

Holly pondered that. "Should we throw a party?"

"No... Maybe. I'll ask her I guess." Gail sighed and leaned on the steering wheel, resting her arms and head on it. "I was just thinking ..."

"Dangerous pastime," teased Holly, reaching over to fluff Gail's hair. "I like it shorter."

Smirking, Gail closed her eyes to the touch. "I know you do." She sighed, happily. "I was thinking about us. And how incredibly lucky I am. Like how everything had to absolutely wrong to get us here, and I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"Really? Even the part with you walking out of the Penny and me leaving mean voicemails?"

"Really," confirmed Gail. "Because without that, I wouldn't have changed enough. I still would have been childish, bratty, immature." She opened her eyes and smiled at Holly. "You deserve that. Grown up Gail."

Those blue eyes did her in and Holly smiled. "She is remarkably attractive." She rested two fingers under Gail's chin. "You're not coming in, are you." It wasn't a question. She knew.

"No." There was a sigh. "Want to, shouldn't. Grown up Gail has to be a grown up." She picked her head up and leaned across the gearshift to kiss Holly lightly. "If I walk you to the door, I will not make it home tonight," she whispered.

Holly sighed and nodded, giving Gail one last kiss before sliding out of the car. "Gail," she chewed her lip before closing the door. "You're the only person I've ever had spend the night here." The surprise on Gail's face was obvious. "You're the only person I want to spend the night. Even when we broke up. I can't see anyone here but you. I just want to be with you, and here and... I love you."

When there was no reply, Holly bit her lip, wondering if she'd said too much. The slow smile on Gail's face made he feel relieved. "I made Andy sleep on the couch the other week. Because you're the only person I want in bed with me."

They looked at each other through the car for a moment and finally Holly closed the door. She made a careful sign with her hands and, after a heartbeat, Gail laughed. The window rolled down, "You just asked me to _summon_ you, you nerd." She made the proper sign back.

"You knew what I meant," huffed Holly. "Call me." And she went inside her home, grinning.

* * *

The party was quietish and rowdy at the same time. Gail and Steve had Sophie and Leo on their shoulders, playing some game they made up on the fly in the pool, while Holly was trapped by Noelle and Traci and baby Olivia. The wrestling match between Leo and Sophie was complicated by the fact that Gail was smaller than her brother, though not much shorter, and was struggling to keep up.

"Frank, for god's sake, take over," shouted Oliver. All three of his daughters were over as well, the youngest being the same age as Leo and Sophie, making for a trifecta of second graders.

"You should take Winny in there, Dad," suggested Izzy with a smirk. Gail might just have to treat her to lunch for saving her from drowning.

After a moment, Frank pulled off his shirt. "All right you Pale Pecktective, try taking on someone your own size."

Sophie cheered and happily clambered onto Frank's broader shoulders, while Oliver and Winny joined the fray. Gail made her escape to the deep end, far from the fighters. "What on earth are they playing?" Celery's hand extended to haul Gail out of the pool, as did Izzy's.

"I think it's called 'Drown Gail,'" muttered Gail, planting her feet on the pool wall and hauling both of her helpers in with her.

The whoops of laughter came from everywhere and Gail hopped out of the pool, smirking. Holly shook her head, "I'd offer you a towel, but you might get me wet."

"Holly! Not in front of the kids," joked Gail, making an L with one hand and brushing it under her chin. It took a moment, but Holly apparently remembered _that_ sign and threw a towel at Gail.

Izzy clambered out of the pool, leaving Celery to enjoy it for a moment. "You're mean, Aunt Gail."

"You're a delinquent and have no room to talk," she smiled at the teenager, but picked up a towel. "And you need to get in the shade before you turn pink." Gail too was aiming for the shade and fell onto Holly's lounge chair. "Hey cutie," she grinned at Olivia and was rewarded with a beaming smile.

Snorting, Izzy sat down beside them. "So if it's not _boning_ then what is it?"

Watching Holly nearly spit-take her beer was worth the price of admission. But Gail went with a demure answer, "Dating." But she signed the letters s-e-x.

Traci smirked. "Sophie was correcting Leo's spelling earlier. Apparently he thought you spelled it with a C."

"So did Sophie," noted Gail. "Holly corrected _her_ spelling." Holly, still blushing, muttered that this was far too frank a discussion to be having. Sitting up, Gail kissed her cheek, "Izzy is 17. She's old enough to hear about stuff she's probably doing, or thinking about doing. And I'm _pretty_ sure Olivia doesn't understand any of this yet."

"What Olivia understands is nap time," smiled Noelle. "I'm going to get her settled and grill."

As Noelle left, they all looked at the squealing eight year-olds in the pool and their father figures. Then Gail checked Oliver's middle daughter, thirteen and sullen, with her headphones on. "She hates everyone," Izzy said of her sister with a sigh.

"I remember you at that age," teased Gail. "Oh wait, that was last week." Izzy rolled her eyes. "How's she holding up?"

"She wants to stay with mom and _Daryl._" While Izzy was, generally, skeptical of Celery after that whole fertility thing (Gail understood it to be less fertility to have a baby and more something boring about aligning your uterus with the moon bullshit), she outright despised her mother's boyfriend. "He wants to move in."

This caused Gail to glance at Traci. Steve had made noises about the idea to Gail, mostly suggesting she move in with Holly so he could ask Traci about it. "Big step," muttered Gail.

Traci exhaled and echoed Gail's thoughts, "Leo likes Steve, but I don't know what he'd think about _living_ with him." She tugged at the towel's edge. "After Jerry, I'm scared to even think about it."

Almost absently, Holly's hand landed on her knee. Gail covered it with her own, worming her fingers between Holly's. She was not ignorant of the hints Holly had been dropping, broadly, about being more than sleepover buddies. "What about Celery?" Gail kept her voice low, watching Celery swim and cheer on the kids.

"She's weird," sighed Izzy, "But she really loves Dad." The teenager looked at the woman as well. "Dad's getting an actual house. He asked if I wanted to move in."

"Do you?" Gail pitched her voice casually. She already knew about it from Oliver, who'd talked to her over a lunch.

Izzy shrugged and then nodded. "I like her better than Daryl, I guess." Clearly a ringing endorsement. "What would you do?"

"Well, I don't even like my parents, but I lived at home until I was 27, so you really can't ask me." Gail glanced at Traci and Holly for support.

"I lived at home until I was a cop," noted Traci. "But I was raising Leo and my mom helped."

"I moved out during college." Holly sipped her beer. "Me and a bunch of friends got a crappy apartment, kind of like yours." She squeezed Gail's knee.

"Hey," smarted Gail. "My apartment is perfectly clean and uncrappy." The apartment was, currently, spotless. One of the ways she'd devised to help keep Chris sober was to make him clean with her, run with her, go to the gym with her, and cook with her. The last one terrified Dov until he found, with shock, that Gail _could_ cook just fine. She'd even caught Dov telling Nick that he knew nothing about Gail, and waved the fresh baked bread in his face.

Holly grinned and leaned in to kiss Gail again, "I meant with the stinky boy roommates and one bathroom." There was another kiss, followed by a gagging sound from Izzy. "She lives in a closet," explained Holly, innocently.

There was stifled laughter from Traci and Izzy. Gail watched Holly's expression shift as she caught on to what she had just said. "Nerd." Gail let go and grabbed the sunblock. "Just for that, you can do my back."

"You do live in the tiniest room known to man, Gail," teased Traci.

"It was a den thing." She _had_ lived in Chris's room until his return from Timmons, with Denise and Christian in tow. Then, in a burst of kindness, she'd taken her dresser into the smaller non-room with the sliding, pocket door and picked up a small Ikea bed. The smaller room suited her. Less crap to cling to, more light at night even with the dark red walls, and more privacy. It barely fit her bed and dresser, but that made it feel safer.

By contrast, Holly's house was open and airy. Light. Staying there felt like living in the sky, with the tall ceilings and warm colors. She even had a corner of a closet and two dresser drawers. She sighed as Holly started to work the ultra strength sunblock into her back and shoulders.

Izzy grumbled. "I want my own room." Gail was aware that she shared with her sisters at the moment. "Dad would give me my own room."

"See? Sounds like a good choice!" Traci grinned. "Gail, does Steve sunburn like you?"

"No, that ass has all the melanin." She received a slap on her shoulder from Holly for cursing. "Oh come on, Izzy knows that word!"

"Grinding?" Izzy's comment came out of left field and the adults stopped talking for a moment. "I get why boning is inaccurate. But what _is_ the right vulgarity?" The teenager had twinkling eyes.

Gail smirked, "You can do that with guys too, kid." Point scored, Izzy looked blank and then blushed, Traci laughed and Holly groaned. That done, Gail mentally made a note to snag Izzy next time she was around for some _actual_ educational talk. It was clear that Oliver was not going to be asked the awkward sex questions, and Izzy didn't feel comfortable asking Celery or her mother.

The boys eventually clambered out of the pool, waterlogged and pink, with the children arguing about who was champion of the world. No one complained when the talk moved to food, and Gail found herself being Frank's grilling assistant.

"Listen, Gail... I want to say thank you," he said softly. "For this. Sophie."

Oh. Gail smiled and looked at the girl, complaining as Noelle put sunblock on her. "You're welcome." She did still wish she had been able to adopt, and this felt like such a fallback plan, but it worked in a different way. Suddenly Sophie had a good man as a father figure, something she'd never had before, and wouldn't have had with Gail.

"I'm proud of you, Gail. You grew up."

"It was bound to happen eventually," she laughed, disparagingly.

"Have you thought about the other thing?"

Gail nodded. "A lot. But Oliver needs a T.O. who won't get IA involved every time."

Nodding back, Frank flipped a burger. "Three months. Maybe six."

They had both been involved in policing for so long it was easy to skip around in conversations. "Give me time to prep," she joked. "Take a class or three."

"Ace another T.O. run and and you won't need any." However he did start talking about useful courses she could take at the police college. Some were technically closed off to non-white shirts, but they both knew if a Peck applied, a Peck would get in.

At least it might make her mother happy.

* * *

_So how much do you think Gail actually cares about what her mother thinks?_

_Also if she does a TO round, who would she get…_


	26. Big Gay Distraction

**Chapter 26: Big Gay Distraction**

_Author's Note: The Toronto Policing College has continuing education. Also it's July now in the fic. Holly and Gail got back together in very early Spring, which is not my fault. Season Five was very short and started in Winter. A lot gets pushed into a small timeframe._

* * *

School was a laudable thing. Adults continuing their learning, never ceasing, was a thing of beauty. Girlfriends who were taking training courses in pretty much all their free time were positively frustrating. Either Gail was at work, in a class, with Sophie, with another foster kid as a big sister, or asleep. Now, half the time asleep meant at Holly's, but rarely had it been more than kissing before Gail conked out.

Normal people took time off from work to do those things. Training Officer Peck did not. She spent a full day with her new rookie, having _finally_ gotten Duncan trained enough that she felt he could work well without her every day. Of course, Noelle had come back, so Oliver devilishly assigned her as Duncan's new primary partner. Gail had cackled with glee, telling Holly that Duncan said Noelle was easy after Gail, and Noelle had been torn between horror and pride.

The new rookie was a young woman who was painfully shy and earnest. It was a trial for Gail, who did better with the sort you had to tamp down, but she seemed to be making it work. Already the rookie, Samantha Gagnon, had the nickname Snowflake and Holly heard it from Nick before anyone else. Of all Gail's friends, Nick avoided Holly the most. Even though Gail swore they were friends, Nick looked horribly awkward and uncomfortable around Holly. He hadn't noticed her at the scene when he radio'd Gail, asking if she and the Snowflake were at the other scene.

When pressed, Gail said that the rookie told her that was the nickname she'd had growing up, so Gail just used that. And she took news of Nick's attitude in stride, saying she'd talk to him. That Gail was able to remain friends with her ex-boyfriends was not weird to Holly. She was still friends with some of her own ex-girlfriends. But she didn't see them daily.

Holly first met Snowflake the day before Pride Week began. Gail, already in her civvies, was giving her a firm talking to about listening to everything McNally told her, and to do what she was told. Listening in, Holly was amused to hear the lecture. "She's really good at it," sighed Andy, popping up beside Holly.

"So I see. How come you're taking over?"

"Pride Week. The Commissioner asked for Gail to be on the float."

Holly blinked and stared at Andy, "What? When did that happen?"

"About ten minutes ago. Congrats, you get Grumpy Gail."

But as Gail wrapped up her instructions, she broke into a huge grin when she spotted Holly. "One minute, then we bounce." Turning to Andy, Gail said one final sentence. "Do not fuck this up, McNally."

"I know, use Noelle and follow the Peck Rules." Oddly Andy did not seem hurt or offended. It was almost with relief that she replied to Gail. "It's a week. I can do this."

Gail nodded and picked up her bag. "Good! I'm out. See you fools from the easy seats." As soon as they walked out of the station, Gail groaned. "Please tell me Andy spilled so I can start without explaining this is _not_ my fault."

"She did," sighed Holly. "Have you even been to Pride Week before?"

"I usually avoid it," admitted Gail. "It's filled with noisy, happy, people. And no one wants to do regular patrol, or desk. They all want the show, so ... I stay."

They had not actually made Pride Week plans. Holly rarely did the parade thing now that she was looking at forty a lot closer. It had been fun in her early twenties, but like many things she'd outgrown the need to be so in-your-face about it. And also the desire to go and get drunk around thousands of lesbians in the hope of getting lucky. "And now you get to be _on_ the float." She giggled at the idea. Maybe she'd go with Lisa and Rachel.

"Worse. I get to go with everyone to the parties, in uniform." She rolled her eyes. "My father is going to shit bricks."

The reminder of Gail's parents and their lack of acceptance slapped Holly out of her amusement. "Not your mother?"

"No," sighed Gail. "Apparently she's okay with it. I officially give up trying to understand her."

Holly laced her fingers with Gail's, walking to the parking lot and Gail's car. Her father was, clearly, anti-gay. Her mother was clearly pro-career. The talks at home had to be interesting. "Wait, isn't next week a dinner week?"

"Oh, like hell I'm going," laughed Gail. "I legit have to work a gay people with uniforms thing." She glanced at Holly and then, shyly, asked, "Would you be my plus one?"

"I did say forever, didn't I?" Holly smiled and leaned into Gail as they walked. "Your parents _won't_ be there, will they?"

"Uncle Al says no, they're not invited. One Peck is enough."

They got into the car and as Gail eased out of the lot, Holly asked, "What about your classes?"

"On break for two weeks, thank god. This crap is running me thin! I haven't been to the Penny in three weeks!" Nor had they had enough time together, thought Holly. "When was the last time we went on a date?"

"Um, just us? A month ago."

"Yeah, that's no good." Gail checked traffic and turned the car away from Holly's house. "We need dinner, out, you and me. Pan Asian? There's a new place, Octopus Grill. Chloe swears by it."

Holly laughed, "Right now?"

"Unless you have other plans..."

Smiling, Holly watched Gail's face. "No," she admitted.

"Right. Dinner, then I take you home and spend the night. It's Friday, I have a weekend free of homework and rookies ..." She trailed off, arching an eyebrow.

So Gail wasn't too tired. Holly blushed. They got to the restaurant, which was packed, but Gail quickly got a table through the simple foresight of having made a reservation.

Holly quirked a smile as Gail muttered it was a surprise. "It's a nice surprise, but how did you know?"

"Well if we'd have missed it, I was going to give the spot to Dov or Andy. They don't seem to comprehend planning."

"I do. And I love it. I get cranky when I don't see enough of you."

"It shows," confirmed Gail. "I didn't know about the whole Pride thing, this was really just supposed to be an apology for being work-on-a-holiday Gail. She's annoying, by the way. I didn't know she even existed." Gail huffed. "Usually I cram things into my brain when I'm trying to avoid problems. Now I'm doing it and _making_ problems. Is that grown up?"

"Not sure," Holly replied slowly. "Are you avoiding anything?"

"Just my mother. She's starting to email me again. Wants to know why I'm taking classes."

"Why _are_ you taking classes?" There was an uncomfortable silence across the table that surprised Holly. "Something wrong?"

"No, just complicated." Gail ran her finger around the base of her wine glass. "I don't want to be a beat cop forever."

Holly blinked and then smiled. "Oh." She reached across the table and covered Gail's fingers with her own. "Honey, when I called you that, I was kind of being irrational and angry."

"I know. That was a shitty day." Gail waited and when Holly said nothing more, looked surprised. "That's it?"

"Well. I think I know why, but if you're nervous and don't want to tell me, I'll get it out of you later. We tell each other stuff." Holly grinned and leaned back as their salads arrived. "Eventually."

Gail exhaled and tucked her napkin into place. "Can I spend the weekend at your place?" She sounded so shy, Holly laughed. "Or not, geeze."

"You can always spend your free time with me."

Rolling her eyes, Gail pointed at Holly with her fork. "Sometimes you have to work."

"Not this weekend," promised Holly. "But you can stay even if I have to work."

They smiled at each other and ate the salads. When the main courses arrived, Gail finally asked her real question. "What's the Parade really like?"

* * *

Watching Holly was the best part of the awkward dinner. Gail hadn't realized how many police officers were gay until that night, and they hadn't known she was until the Commissioner introduced her. Officer Jen Luck was there of course, surprising Gail not a bit, though Luck did a double take when she realized Gail was there with Holly.

"Wish you'd told me that before, Peck."

"Bad luck, eh?" That won her a smirk from Luck, who graciously welcomed her to the club and introduced her around.

But every time she glanced at Holly, she caught her girlfriend eying her. "Your woman's checking out your ass," confirmed Jen, who insisted on being called that.

"She hasn't seen me in my dress uniform before," replied Gail. "I'm damn hot."

Jen snorted. "Swelled head. So how do you like it?" When Gail didn't reply, Jen gestured at the room. "The big gay dinner?"

"Meh," replied Gail. "Too happy."

"Oh is _that_ why you've skipped the parade all these years?"

Gail frowned and eyed Jen, "Yes." What was the woman getting at? She rummaged through her head, trying to remember who Jen worked for and that was when the clue dropped. "Ah, I get it." Smiling, she patted Jen's shoulder. "You can stop quizzing me. Tell him I'm very much committed to my girlfriend, he'll tell my mother, and we can all stop playing spy."

"Him?" Jen tried to look innocent, but it came out sheepish.

"Your Staff Sergeant is one of my mother's minions," sighed Gail, rescuing two flutes of champagne from a waiter. "I've been playing this game since before you knew how to spell cop, Jen. Don't even bother."

With that, Gail wove through the crowd to where Holly was talking to an RMCP fellow. She slipped into the conversation by handing Holly a drink. "Oh, and this is my girlfriend, Officer Peck."

The man smiled and introduced himself, his accent marvelously thick. Gail replied in French and they cheerfully chatted about their work for a moment. It did not escape Gail's notice that Holly was positively beaming. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Stewart, Officer Peck," smiled the officer, shaking their hands and leaving to go meet new people.

Gail turned to Holly and tilted her head. "He's okay."

But Holly just devoured Gail with her eyes. "You hate it here," she said softly.

"True," allowed Gail, smiling. She sipped her champagne and tried for an innocent look. "They're all too happy."

Holly reached over to straighten Gail's lapel, and then let the hand trail down Gail's arm to her clasp her fingers. "I would like to be happy right now." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Can we leave?"

Glancing at the group, Gail caught the eye of her godfather and gave him a slight wave. He looked at Holly, then Gail, and smirked. He really was much nicer than her parents, in many ways. With the sole important goodbye completed, Gail laced her fingers through Holly's and led her out a side door.

The next morning, Gail yawned her way through meetings and glad hands. She ran into Jen again, who held out a coffee. "Peace?"

"If you want to fake spy to keep your cover I won't tell." Gail was too tired to want to fight.

Jen snorted. "Nah, I told him you were stupid in love with the doc." Now Gail was awake and she glared. "Woah, okay no jokes about the doctor. Yikes." Jen shoved her hands in her pockets. "This is your first gay rodeo, huh?"

"If you're still poking the bear, I will break your fingers," growled Gail.

But Jen laughed. "I meant Pride Week. I _know_ she's your first girlfriend." Gail did not want to know how Jen knew that but nodded. "So listen, I've been out since I was born, practically. I've been doing the parade, marching, since I was sixteen. The float's no big deal. We sit and wave at people, they shoot water guns at us and cheer. You can get out and walk if you want. Usually we get the highest ranker to do it, but you being a Peck might make the font page."

"And ruin my chances of undercover work," grumbled Gail. Though she doubted that people would recognize her. Rarely did anyone pay attention anymore.

"With that face, I'm surprised more people don't recognize you daily."

Was Jen _still_ hitting on her? Weird. "I don't try to be noticed." Gail pushed her hair out of her face. "S'good coffee."

"Gail!" The strident voice of her godfather broke through the room.

"Commissioner Santana," she smiled back.

"Officer Peck." He smiled more. "I saw you and your young lady skip out early. You've never liked those parties." When Gail shrugged, he squeezed her shoulder. "Your mother said you haven't been around lately."

Gail winced a little. "Can you blame me?"

"Ah, Bill. He's very traditional." The Commissioner frowned, "Maybe we should have a side dinner one of these days. You barely know my wife, and I'd like to know your young lady. A doctor, even."

"You freaked Holly out a little, last time."

"Hmm, well. Thank you for that." He was sincere and Gail just nodded. "Ah! Officer Luck. You'll show Gail the ropes?"

Truthfully, Gail had forgotten Jen was standing there and grinned when she saw the confusion on the other officer's face. "Sir! Yes, of course, sir."

The Commissioner clapped Gail on the shoulder. "Good. Learn it all, Gail. I'll need you to take over in a few years." She'd expected that and nodded. The hand on her shoulder squeezed and the chief walked away.

"What the fuck?" Jen hissed at Gail. "The Commissioner invited you over for dinner? With your girlfriend?"

Gail finished the coffee. "It's not a big deal, Jen." The glare from the other officer was actually amusing. "He's my godfather." He was also her mother's T.O. and Gail was actually named for Al's first wife. The other Gail, also a cop, had died in uniform, hit by a car at a routine traffic check when Steve was in diapers.

The rest of the personal drama was more than she cared to get into with a relative stranger. That Gail had called the chief 'Uncle Al' until she entered the academy was not anyone else's business.

"How did I not know that?"

"Same way you didn't know you were being pushed by my mom to spy on me, Jen. You're a good cop." She smiled thinly, and walked past Jen, fairly sure that the implication might never be caught. Jen was a good cop, she'd never be a great cop.

When Pride Week was finally over, Gail was relieved to get back to her normal routine. She'd managed to avoid a sunburn on the float and hadn't run into her parents once. Practically a perfect event, if you ignored the fact that she spent half the day on a float surrounded by thousands of happy people.

Holly and Traci had come to cheer her on, as had Steve, and before Gail realized it, it became an affair with all the 'grown ups' of Fifteen. She wondered when that had happened, that she had more in common with the Old Guard and less with her classmates. Maybe it was Holly, but more likely it was just that unlike Chris, Dov, or Andy, she could see her future and went for it.

So she grinned and waved at her girlfriend, her friends, and indeed, Sophie, who was perched on Frank's shoulder, cheering. Gail threw beads at Holly, smirking, but ended up with quite a lot herself from various attendees. While all the officers were invited to parties all night long, Gail bounced between three before getting a ride back to fifteen with a cruiser and going to Holly's to fall face first on the bed. And not in the fun way.

But now it was back to work, and Gail and her rookie Samantha the Snowflake had the beginnings of an easy day, monitoring speed traps. It was boring, but she needed a dull day after the week of super gayness. They were the first car on the line, and Gail had Snowflake on the scanner while she radio'd Noelle and Gerald down the line.

"This really help?" Snowflake was clearly getting bored.

"Boosts numbers and tickets, which makes Ollie look good. And what do we think about Oliver?"

"Oliver's the best boss we could ever have. We do anything for Oliver. He loves all of us. Even me." The recitation felt more honest than the first few times she'd made the rookie say it, and Gail smiled. "He can't like Duncan, though. I mean, he screwed up and taped Andy. That's breaking the code."

"It was," agreed Gail. "But he understands why now." Gail sipped her soda, "Why do you know about that?"

"Oh! Everyone knows. We all got warned how not to get in trouble. Duncan's the poster boy for how to screw up."

Gail sighed and made a note to warn Ollie and Noelle later. "He's learned."

The rookie glanced back at her, "Yes ma'am, you taught him. That's why I'm really happy you're my T.O." The what now? She made a noise and Snowflake focused on the scanner. "Everyone said you're the best, ma'am. You're tough, but you can make people great cops."

Well, that was alright, decided Gail, and she smiled. "You can drive back, rookie," she informed Snowflake and sat on the hood of the car.

They called in a couple speedsters before a car pulled up beside them and rolled down the window. An older man, maybe her father's age, leaned over. "Hey, how come you aren't at the rolled over ambulance?"

"Sorry, what?" Gail popped to her feet and listened carefully to the man before nodding. It wasn't too far away. "Sir, do you mind pulling over here and walking with me?" He did not and as he pulled in, Gail tapped Snowflake's shoulder. "You keep doing this. Keep the radio on, do to anything Officer Williams tells you. Got it?" Her rookie nodded and Gail called in her check to the group.

They walked through the hillside beside the check point, cutting around the normal traffic, until they were almost out of sight of Snowflake. Gail casually rested her hand by her weapon, and looked around. "S'right there," the man pointed, and walked in front of her.

Habit. Gail checked the surrounding area before following his gaze to an ambulance, lying on it's side. "Well shit," she muttered. "Dispatch, 8727. I have an ambulance rollover, no plates. We lose one?"

"Copy 8727. What's the number?"

"429. It's the neon yellow, green vomit color."

There was a pause. "8727, can you confirm the numbers are four, two, niner?"

"Confirm, requesting backup." She turned to the man, "Sir, I'm going to need you to stand up there where my partner can see you." He nodded and Gail pinged her rookie. "Gagnon, can you see our Samaritan?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Eyes on him until I tell you otherwise, even if replacements come." Gail turned down her radio and drew her gun. Very slowly she walked up to the ambulance. A pause. She heard nothing and walked closer until she could see in the driver's window. Empty. The keys dangled in the ignition and the dash was a mess from the rolling. "Cab is empty," she said softly into her radio and stepped to the back. "Rear door is ajar."

Very slowly, very calmly, Gail eased the door open. Nothing. She pulled out her flashlight and held it up to her gun before looking in. What a mess. There was medical equipment everywhere, all over the damn interior. She sighed and carefully checked every visible corner until she saw a head. "Shit!" Gail jumped back and waited for movement but, seeing none, stepped forward and took a closer look. Maybe it was a mannequin.

The congealed blood was real, though, and Gail swore. "Dispatch, I need that backup and tell forensics to bring a doctor. There's a body in the back."

"Copy that. Confirm he's dead?"

Gail looked at the interior and carefully moved the gurney, only to have the head roll off to the side, completely disconnected from the body. "Yep," she replied drolly. "He's dead."

* * *

While she knew Gail gave a special talk to the rookies on their first day, a talk she'd inherited and evolved from Oliver, Holly was interested in the one they got in the morgue even more. Gail'd told her about the first day talk and Holly found it entertaining. This one just had more to do with her, so she lingered outside the room to listen.

"Do you remember our talk, Samantha?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"It's our job to make this city safe, and when we fail, we come here. This place means we've failed, and all we can do is bring closure to someone. Out there, I'm in charge. Here, the doctors and lab techs are your boss. Whatever they tell you to do, you do without question. You touch nothing unless told to, you treat everyone with respect, including the dead. They're humans, and never forget that. If you're here alone, you sit in a corner and keep out of trouble, which will not happen until you make it through an autopsy without puking or passing out. You do not speak until spoken to, and above all, you remember that you are a police officer and our job is to listen and learn here." Gail huffed. "And remember. Do as I say, not as I do. I have more privileges here than you do."

That was her Gail and Holly smiled. She bumped the door open with her hip, "Officer Peck, Officer ..."

"Gagnon, ma'am. Doctor. Ma'am."

"Doctor Stewart," corrected Holly. She hadn't officially met Samantha yet and Gail rarely talked about her. "Gagnon... That's Québécois?"

The girl, practically a child, nodded. "My father. He's from Val-d'Or."

While Holly could translate it she had no idea about the town and glanced at Gail. "It's about as far up as Timmins. North of Réserve faunique La Vérendrye." The rookie gaped at Gail and Holly hid a smile. "Meanwhile, back in Ontario."

"The head was removed postmortem," noted Holly, pulling on her gloves.

"I figured," replied Gail. She turned to her rookie, "Lack of blood at the scene. He was probably dead and beheaded before the ambulance was rolled down the ravine." The rookie nodded, her face set but her eyes wide.

Settling her face guard in place, Holly gave Gail a look and the officer stepped back, tugging her rookie with her. "Is the detective coming?" Holly pulled over the tools and prepared for the Y-incision.

"They asked us to watch, since it's my head." Gail shot her a toothy grin, the one of the cop who was delighted in her finding. She smiled like that when shopping for shoes, or guns weirdly enough, and when just plain happy. Holly would melt over that grin and move mountains to see it again.

Trying not to smile, Holly nodded. "So I heard." She pressed the scalpel to the skin and heard a noise from the side.

"Out. Turn left. Third door," instructed Gail, and the thudding steps of her rookie left the room. "Puking. Not a single one of them pass a first autopsy."

"Oh and you did?"

"Of course," sighed Gail, perching on her favorite stool. "My first in uniform wasn't anything new."

Holly glanced over at her girlfriend and sighed a little. "Your mother..." And Gail shrugged a little. "Didn't you have an ambulance theory?"

"Nah," laughed Gail. "I have an ambulance coincidence, that's all." Gail spun the stool around, "Headless guy in a junky only ambulance. Old gloves, too," she added. "Box said with cornstarch." Gail was looking up at the lights. When Holly hadn't known Gail as well, she thought the behavior nothing more than a feckless, childish, flash of ADD. In the year she'd known and worked with Gail, Holly came to realize her brain was always working, always whirling.

The anger against stupid people and childishness was nothing more than a lack of understanding. The aloofness was an inability to connect. And the distractions were some odd attempt of Gail to seem less off. But Holly had noticed the less Gail tried, the more she fit in with people. And the less she drank, the faster she thought in general. Once Holly suggested Gail just be herself all the time, and Gail had looked rather terrified.

So Holly had come to where she let Gail talk freely in this way, just as Gail gave her space and silence when she needed it. "That's familiar," she replied, cracking the chest open.

"Creeps me out, though. Doctors and serial deaths with ambulances." Gail stopped spinning and looked at Holly. "Are you busy tonight?"

"Depends how long this takes me." She regarded the body curiously. "No marks except a really bad tattoo? I think it's a dog. No gunshot, no stabbing, no wounds of any kind."

"Except around the neck region," joked Gail. "Which was ipso post dead-o."

Holly smirked and rolled her eyes. "Funny. I'm leaning towards..." Holly stopped and stared at the body.

When she said nothing, Gail hopped off the stool and leaned over to look. "Pink."

"Cyanide."

"Cyanide?" Gail pulled her phone out and starting typing, "Can I send Steve a photo?"

Holly exhaled slowly. "I think you'd better. What the hell? Who beheads a poison victim? They had to know we'd autopsy!"

"It really makes no sense," agreed Gail. Her tone clearly showed she thought this was great.

Their semi-private conversation ceased when Snowflake returned, pale and shaking. She opened her mouth to speak and Gail held up a hand. "Nuh uh." She pointed to the stool and, as Snowflake walked by, she glanced at the body.

Neither Gail nor Holly were surprised by the thud of her hitting the floor.

* * *

_Poor rookies._


	27. White Shirts

**Chapter 27: White Shirts**

_Author's Note: It is time for Holly to meet Elaine Peck in person. This will not go well. Does anyone remember those dangling plot threads? You will in a minute. All temperatures are in Celsius.  
_

_To the guest who_ **still**_ doesn't like that Gail referred to herself as a beat cop, that was the point. Gail has some self-esteem issues regarding her legacy status._

* * *

The flu was no joke. When Holly called her and asked if Gail could take her home, of course Gail had rushed over. Finding Holly sweating and looking miserable, she was momentarily terrified. Taking down crazy gunmen was easy. A sick girlfriend was new territory, and Gail's instinct when faced with illness was to run the other way. But … Holly. Holly's assistant pointed out the fever was 39.3 degrees and Gail quickly hauled Holly home, showered, medicated, and in bed.

While Holly was asleep, Gail made (not bought) chicken soup and even managed to feed her girlfriend a bowl in-between naps. When Holly went right back to bed without a complaint, Gail downloaded a new book on her iPad and settled in the bed to read and babysit.

After hours of silence, Gail was startled out of her book by Holly asking her a question. "What did you want to be when you grew up?" Holly was half asleep when she asked it and Gail looked at her girlfriend with surprise.

"A cop, Holly, go back to sleep."

Holly opened her eyes and sighed. "I wanted to be a fire engine."

"I think you mean fireman, baby." Gail put the ebook down and caressed Holly's hair. Her skin felt less hot, but not normal. "You want me to check your temperature again?" That got a little nod from Holly and Gail went to get the thermometer.

Leave it to Holly to have an in-ear sensor. She let the doctor press it in and waited for the beep. "I don't want to put on my glasses."

"38 and change ... More fever reducers for you." Holly sighed and told Gail exactly what bottles to get and what pills. She took the thermometer back to the bathroom, cleaned it off, and came back with pills. Two were painkillers, two were cold and flu specialties Gail had never heard of. "You're such a hypochondriac, I swear you have pills for everything."

"You can catch everything in my job," noted Holly and she popped the four pills in one go. "Water?"

"Bottle on the nightstand."

Holly chugged half and sighed. "Did you make me soup?"

Sitting on the bed, Gail nodded. "You had a whole bowl."

"Must be why I feel better." She looked a little better, but absolutely drained. "I meant fire engine," added Holly. "I wanted to drive around and do cool things. Then I wanted to be a baseball player, or a hockey star... God, your Peckspectations suck."

Gail raised her eyebrows. "Ex-Peck-tations. They're not all bad."

"I don't know any that aren't crappy and overbearing." Holly lay back down. "They take away all your decisions and get mad when you don't make the right ones. Emotionally stunted."

"You," sighed Gail, "sound drunk."

"Fever. Stops my brain from editing what I say."

Oh dear. "You mean you're always like this when you're sick?"

"Mmhmm. Another reason I was single. Too honest." Holly looked forlorn. "I think you're brave."

Gail laughed and stretched out beside Holly. "Oh really?" It was strangely fun to listen to unfiltered thoughts from her girlfriend.

"And strong. And really, _really_, bad at sports." Holly smiled. "What happened to the headless dumped man?"

"We've been running down the tattoo, but it's a dead end." Gail and Snowflake, who was a pretty decent rookie as they went, had visited all the tattoo parlors in the area, and faxed it to other divisions, but it was no good. "Steve's making me go through the cyanide poisoning cases."

"Steve's mean. He sides with your mom."

Gail smiled tiredly. Her brother wanted Gail to start coming to the family dinners again. "He didn't _side_ with mother. He just doesn't understand... It's fine."

"It's not." Holly reached over to grab Gail's hand. "It's not fine."

The hand was hot and Gail frowned. "Holly, should I get you an ice pack or ... Something? A cool bath?"

Holly sighed and rolled to her back, touching her own head. "Can you turn the fan on?"

"Of course." Gail hopped out of bed and set it on low before getting a glass of ice and a bottle of coconut water. "Want to try something else?"

It took a little work to get Holly to sit up again, but she obediently sipped the cool coconut water. When Gail had asked why she had it at all, Holly confessed to being a marathon runner and it was good for electrolyte and potassium. Running was not really Gail's cup of tea, she left that distance to Holly. Of course, in their time dating, Gail had learned far more about sports than she'd ever intended. She'd actually gotten _good_ at softball much to Oliver's delight, and been conscripted to the division's team. Holly had called it a psychological problem.

But the food and the diet had all changed. They made healthy food, ate differently after a run, and more differently before and after the long ones. Gail was tricked into longer distances just by that goofy side smile, and complained the whole way but ran anyway because she'd do anything for that smile. She practically lived at Holly's and any night she was at her apartment she wished she wasn't.

And because of all that time here, with the most amazing person in her life, Gail knew why you ate bananas and toast when sick and why the coconut water would help Holly get in nutrients she wasn't up for eating just then. As Holly drank, she leaned into Gail's arm which easily wrapped around the doctor, and Gail went back to her book.

"You gonna be a detective you think?" Holly held the empty drink bottle in her lap, eyes closed, looking like the act of drinking was all she had energy for.

The way Holly asked it was so unassuming, without pressure and just wondering, that it was easy to answer. "Probably." When Gail's mother asked the same question, it was always with a bite, or a push. The more her mother pushed, the less Gail wanted to decide. It was one of the few methods of rebellion she had left.

"Why's Steve a detective?"

"He likes drug busts and gun running." Holly made a 'huh' sound. "It's in the Organized Crime Enforcement group, and it's kinda the boring stuff. He has to sit and watch losers a lot. Our father's there too, in ROPE."

"Rope?" Holly sounded sleepy. "Ties people up?" Taking the bottle away from her girlfriend, Gail nudged her to lie down. There was no argument and the sleepy eyed doctor just waited to hear what ROPE meant.

"Repeat Offenders Parole Enforcement. Catches people who break parole. So ... Yeah, he ties people up. It's a lot of boring work, though, reading papers and talking to people about why they did stupid things like drive to Niagara Falls when their parole said they had to stay in North Bay." As if the answer of 'Because North Bay!' wasn't enough.

Holly made a 'huh' sound. "Isn't driving around all day boring?"

"Sometimes. But stakeouts are more boring, just sitting there watching people. And I don't like being shot at enough to try ETF." Gail looked at the wall absently. "I used to say I wanted a cushy desk job, but I'm just really lazy. I like using my head, seeing stuff. I think faster than lots of people, and ... It's silly, but I had this idea about it. Work on the big crimes, with lots of impact. So I _can't _hide behind my name anymore, it'd all be public. And I could get a little of everything, too, so guns and death but not so much the oogy sex crimes or kids." Gail paused and waited to hear if Holly had a thought. Silence. Gail looked down and smiled to see Holly sound asleep. "But it can wait."

Gail turned off the lights and got under the covers. It would keep.

* * *

"So you don't like it when I come to your work but it's okay to come to mine and escort me here," teased Holly, walking down the hallway with Gail.

"We have crazy people here." Gail carried the box, out of some odd moment of chivalry that she had been unable to explain. "Besides, brother mine ordered me to get the information from the lab."

Holly humphed. "As opposed to dead bodies. I promised to stay in the lab if there were reports of anything dangerous."

"So pretty much all the time then." Gail smirked and Holly smacked her arm with the folder in her hand.

As they dropped off the box and folder on Steve's desk, Gail stole her brother's chair and readjusted it. "You do that all the time?"

"Nah, just often enough to piss him off. Hey, I get off shift at 6. Want to come by the Penny for trivia night?" Gail gave her a puppy dog smile, the kind Holly had a hard time saying no to.

"You _really_ want me to hang with your friends," sighed Holly.

"Hey, I sucked it up with BitchTits and Co." That won a smile. Gail had also hauled them over to Holly's house to hang out. "Look, your friends are like family to you, right? Well … I like mine better than my family, but if you tell them that, I'll tell them all about how you drool in your sleep."

That was a solid threat. "Woah, okay, no admitting that Gail has feelings. I get it."

Gail's voice dropped a little, sounding more like the private Gail that Holly liked. "You _can_ say no. I understand." Then she added, "I promise not to get drunk."

"Oh well there's an offer." When she laughed, Gail's face lit up and Holly knew that her girlfriend really wanted her to come. "Okay, fine, trivia. And finish up, your brother's coming with some brass." Maybe she could beat the others at trivia and get Gail to her place early-ish before she had to get back to that article.

When Gail glanced over to see her brother, her pale skin went even more white. Holly hadn't known that was possible. "Shit... Why is she here." Popping to her feet, she looked around the room in a mild state of panic. It was totally different than the time she chopped off her hair too.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Holly touched her arm and Gail went stiff. This wasn't good at all, and Holly backed off. They both watched Steve walk in with a woman in uniform. A fancy uniform. With insignia Holly knew she was supposed to recognize… and a name tag... Oh. Shit.

"Superintendent Peck," said Gail, her face the tightest Holly had ever seen, her voice even and flat in a way Holly recognized as deadly.

"Constable Peck." The reply was equally taut.

Holly looked between the two women. Gail's mother, Elaine, had the same pale skin as her children, but looked more like Steve. Her hair was red, clearly bottled which made Gail's snide remark about the crap she got for her hair dye to be rather amusing. Elaine had a somewhat gentler face than Gail. Maybe that was because Holly found Gail so striking that the shorter, older, woman just looked off. She looked fake, and the word stuck in Holly's mind strangely.

Behind the Superintendent, Steve was giving Holly a look that implied she should run while she still could. He was also moving his hands, signing at Gail. Did their mother not know ASL?

"Gail," sighed the Pecks' mother. She was smiling at Gail, and for a moment Holly wondered if Gail had just been over-exaggerating everything. "Sweetheart." Wow. That was a tone Holly had heard before. Sickeningly sweet and entirely insincere. Lisa did that voice wonderfully. Well that explained a _lot_ about Gail. "What's this?" Her eyes flicked in Holly's direction.

For a moment, Holly thought she meant _her_, but Gail tapped the box. "Delivery from forensics. All the cyanid poisonings in the last decade, _Detective_." The last word was clearly aimed at Steve. "It's probably as much a dead end as the tattoo."

Superintendent Peck eyed her daughter. "Playing errand girl, Gail?"

"I'm assisting guns and gangs with the dead body found in the ambulance. The one with his head cut off."

"A dead end case? Surely you could come up with a better use of your time than these pointless cases, Gail." Wincing, Holly tried not to be noticed. Weren't the dead end cases the ones that nagged you the most? Gail did not reply, she just looked at her mother who in turn looked at Holly. Uh oh. "Excuse me... I don't believe we've met."

As she met Elaine's eyes, Holly saw there was no smile within them. The one on her lips was a smile for camera and interviews, where people couldn't see the lack of warmth. Holly felt a chill run down her spine. "Dr. Stewart. Forensics." She smiled sincerely, trying to pretend nothing was abnormal about this moment. Except now she understood why Gail had no wish to hang out with her own mother. People said Gail was cold. They clearly had no idea how icy her mother could be.

There was no offer of a handshake, just a nod. The older woman looked back at her children, effector ignoring Holly. "Is there someplace we can talk more ... Privately?"

Gail looked like she was about to snap out one of her more caustic remarks, but Steve cut in, "Sgt. Shaw's office... Or interrogation. It's the whole open floor plan." Of course other than the Pecks only Holly was in the bullpen.

"Actually, I'm done, Detective, unless you need anything else." Holly gestured, pointing at the door.

"I'll let you know, thanks." Steve really looked sincerely grateful, and Holly scooted out of the room. Gail's face didn't change an inch through that, she just kept fixing her mother with a blank, level, gaze. The invisible wall between Gail and Elaine was terrifying. The walls around Gail were locked and unbreachable.

As Holly rounded the corner, she was not surprised to find Dov and Chloe listening in. "Is the Darth Vader theme louder if you stand next to her," asked Chloe, sotto voice, her eyes wide. Dov hushed her and pulled Holly around the corner to hide with them.

"She was nice the last time she was here. All smiles. Called Gail 'sweetheart,' and everything." Dov's voice was barely above a breath. "Freaked Gail out."

For the third time, Elaine Peck repeated her daughter's name. "Gail." There was a pause. "I was starting to forget what you looked like. Your hair has grown."

"It does that."

"You stopped dying it."

"I did." Terse, Gail was clearly not giving an inch to her mother.

"You didn't come by for dinner."

"I didn't want to." Gail's voice was tight and while Holly picked out anger in the tone, she didn't actually snap. Gail was pissed. "I didn't feel like hearing that crap from Dad again."

"Is that how you want to do this?" Disappointment dripped off Superintendent Peck's voice.

Gail had a short laugh, "Do what? I don't even know why you're _here_."

"Five years, Gail." The words hit like a bomb and Holly frowned. There was no reason that should have scared her, but she found herself tense and worried. "You asked for five years and I respected that. But it's time to stop this."

Steve's voice cut in, "Mom, there's nothing wrong with-"

"A Peck isn't going to stay a blue-shirt for another five years." This was not a suggestion, this was an order. Everyone shuddered.

"She's a constable third class, Mom," continued Steve. It was very odd to not hear Gail say anything. "She was the first from this division for that."

Beside her, Dov muttered, "By a month." This time, Chloe shushed him.

"Yes, but she can't stay that forever. Now. There is an opening for a new sergeant at 27—"

"No." Gail's voice was still even, as if that could imply she was calm. Holly felt otherwise. Her girlfriend wanted to shout at her own mother. "I'm not going to apply for the sergeants exam. I don't want it and ... God." She laughed a little. "I'd be horrible at it. Epstein, he'd be good and you like him."

Dov stiffened beside Holly. "Me?" Now both Chloe and Holly shushed him.

"Epstein is as ready as that Craig boy," dismissed Elaine.

"She means Chris," whispered Dov. No one hushed him this time.

Gail snorted. "I'm not ready either."

"You _should_ be ready. What else are all those classes for?"

There was a pause. "My future," Gail spoke and Holly swore it was through gritted teeth.

"Yes, your usual hodgepodge of unrelated courses. Interrogation, advanced driving. A forensics refresher. What are you thinking?" When Gail did not reply, Elaine scoffed. "What were you doing all this time? Fooling around and playing with friends?"

Holly wished she could see Gail's face, especially when the too sweet reply came. "I was getting my shit together, Mother."

The stifled laugh had to be Steve. "You were... What?" Her mother sounded confused, as if the conversation had taken an abrupt and unexpected turn.

"Wow, I guess hands-off was code for 'ignore everything your daughter has to say.' Good to know," groused Gail in her most bitter. "Did you just completely ignore everything that's gone on in my life for the last two years?"

"Not ... Everything."

"You sure? I thought I made it pretty clear I didn't want to be a white shirt. And sure as hell not by your call. If _Oliver_ asked me, that's different, but you don't even know what kind of cop I am. At least he knows what crap I've gone through."

"I trust we're not just talking about Perik."

"No, we're not." Gail still didn't sound angry, which was probably good, but talking about Perik and the kidnapping was still a tough topic. That she'd managed to talk about it to Holly once was astounding. When Holly mentioned that to Steve, he pointed out Gail never talked to him about it. "I fell in love."

Now it was Chloe who made a noise and Dov covered her mouth with his hand.

"That's hardly a reason-"

"With a woman." And the silence was suddenly heavy. "I wasn't kidding and it's not a phase. All- all that crap I'm working through? Nearly lost her because I _wasn't_ dealing with it. So I did, and you know I _know_ I'm a damn good cop. But I don't want to look back in 30 years and regret missing a single moment with her, because I was too busy with my career."

Holly was a little impressed. "Wow," she whispered. She wasn't sure how she, personally, felt about being prioritized like that. It was odd to hear out loud, since Gail rarely talked about her dreams for her career.

"You don't have goals, Gail."

"You don't even know what I want."

"You haven't made a single move towards a career beyond patrol."

"Excuse me, but I've busted my ass in classes, _and_ rocked being a training officer."

"And applied for nothing, so I'm making arrangements-"

"Oh, right. Because I'm a Peck, and I'll do what I'm told? No."

"Stop being so naive. You haven't even introduced us and here you are making declarations that _love_ is a reason to bury ambition. That's as intelligent as your adoption plan."

What now? Holly blinked and tried to figure out what her mother meant. Was she saying that Gail couldn't possibly have a career and a relationship at family at the same time?

"Why would I introduce you to her? Dad thinks I'm torpedoing my life with the lesbian thing, and you seem to think its a phase. Nice that you actually care about anything but your own dreams."

"That isn't what I said, sweetie." Elaine sounded weary.

"No, you said when I work girls out of my system, you'd introduce me to some appropriate men." Now Gail's tone was bitter. "I told you, I told dad. I'm a lesbian."

There was silence. "Alright. You're serious?" There was no verbal reply. "Gail... What are we going to do with you?"

"Asking if my girlfriend is nice would have been a great start. Asking me why I wanted to adopt Sophie would have worked. Or maybe even talking to me about what kind of cop I _want_ to be, instead of making me do what you and Dad want just because my last name is Peck." Gail sighed loudly, "But hey, I'm going to figure that out myself. You're not even this division's Super since you took over Professional Standards, _Staff_ Superintendent. This is not your business. Butt. Out."

The aforementioned Superintendent said something low, which made Gail laugh in a very snippy way. "I would like to talk to you about this... As your mother."

"Sure, let me know when you figure out how to do that instead of being a Peck."

Dov abruptly grabbed Holly and Chloe by the upper arm, "Quick!" He tugged them away and down the hall. "Act casual. Holly, tell me something sciency." When Holly looked blank, he added, "Work related! Cool bodies?"

"Um. Oh, did you hear about the frozen body that 27 found? He was in a deep cooler in a BBQ shop, so we've been running samples on pretty much everything for human trace."

"That ... Is disgusting," Chloe cringed. "Find anything cool?"

"Human teeth in the chili. Nearly made Officer Luck puke." Normally Holly would entertain Gail with these sorts of stories. It was the oddest pillow talk ever, but they both found the macabre to be entertaining. Officer Jen Luck tended to flirt with Holly, and that only would make Gail annoyed. Holly knew Jen knew about her and Gail, but that didn't seem to make much difference to the other officer. She was just the sort who flirted, Holly had explained. Gail remarked she'd just be the sort who got punched.

The Superintendent walked past them, storming, pulling her phone out, and looking entirely pissed off. Holly hesitated and Dov prompted her, "Teeth in chili? That's not very edible."

Teeth! "Well that's for the detectives to sort out, really. They said the owner confessed. But what really broke my brain was when we found cat and dog remains."

"It's official. I'm never eating BBQ again," sighed Dov. They watched Gail's mother leave the area and Dov nudged Holly, "Go."

"Yeah... I'm not sure I should," sighed Holly, glancing back towards the detective bullpen. They could see Steve and Gail, sitting side by side on Steve's desk, not saying anything. Their hands were moving, which meant they were probably signing to each other. Girlfriend Holly wanted to check on Gail, but Dr. Stewart would have been livid if her mother had done something like that at work. Gail likely needed time to cool down.

Dov looked after Elaine Peck. "She was way nicer last time. Wow. It's like, the two faces of a super villain."

"Maybe she was always like this," suggested Chloe, chewing her thumbnail. "It would explain a lot about Gail. And why Uncle Frank gets so weird about her. The Superintendent, not Gail. Uncle Frank likes Gail, he thinks she's really turned out amazing, which I guess he didn't know what to expect."

"Chloe, please shut up," snapped Holly and she turned away from them, heading to the parking lot. Chloe had no idea of what Gail had been through, dragged herself through, to get to this place. Perhaps Dov knew and could help explain, but Holly would be too cruel just then. She knew Gail _would_ call her. They were definitely at that point in the relationship. But this was not where one pushed one's girlfriend.

"Dr. Stewart." The voice scared the hell out of her, and she spun around to look at Superintendent Peck. "I admit, you don't look like I thought you would. Photographs don't do you justice."

Holly had no idea how to react. "I'm ... Sorry?" Though her back brain noted that nearly all of Gail's friends and family seemed to think her more attractive in person, and she should ask Gail about that.

"You don't really think I _don't_ know who my daughter's dating, especially when she works here, do you?" The expression was the same Gail wore when stating the obvious. The implication was that Holly was in the slow lane. Of course, when Gail made that face to Holly, she was always smiling and there was no rancor behind it. With Elaine Peck, Holly wasn't so sure. Elaine held her hand out to Holly now, "Elaine Peck."

"Holly Stewart." They shook hands. Holly really wasn't surprised that Elaine knew, but she couldn't help but feel offended that she had just been ignored and asked to leave. If Elaine knew, why not let Holly stay? Though that also meant that Gail had never told her mother who was coming to the family dinner, and just that she was bringing her girlfriend. That sounded like Gail, alright. "I thought you were staying out of Gail's life."

"For five years, which was technically up when she was promoted."

Holly remembered that night, just a few months ago, though not for reasons she'd want to share with Gail's mother. "Not very nice though." Glancing at the door back to the station, Holly asked, "Why do you try to make her do what you want?"

Elaine Peck looked at Holly and frowned. "You're dating her. She care barely bestir herself to make a decision about her life. She'd still be kicking around the world with black hair, moping, if we hadn't enrolled her in the academy." Elaine shook her head, "She's bratty, immature, and ... Frankly I'm surprised you and she are still seeing each other, given how she loves to destroy anything serious."

Yeah, no wonder Gail had issues. "I think she referred to that as 'working through her shit.' And maybe," Holly replied, "that's because you never ask her about what _she_ wants." Of course Gail wasn't perfect, but she was working very hard not to be the immature brat she had been.

"Well, I suppose it's for the best that you stayed in Canada," said the older woman, dismissively. Holly heard warning bells but couldn't place why. "Gail is still impulsive. Look at her foolhardy idea to adopt."

"Wow. You really haven't seen Gail change at all. You just see what you want to see and try to make her be what you want. She'll be a great parent one say, no thanks to your shining example." Holly thumbed her car's unlock button. "Excuse me, I have work waiting for me at the lab. If you want to talk more, I suggest starting by listening to your daughter."

As she drove back to her lab, Holly couldn't help but feel Gail would be livid about the conversation more than the eavesdropping.

* * *

_There you__ go. You've now met Elaine Peck, and she's officially met Holly. Don't think this is the end, either. There's more Elaine drama to come._


	28. The U-Haul

**Chapter 28: The U-Haul**

_Author's Note: Lovely guests, yes and yes. And yes. I love you guys for reading that right. I'll explain in detail **next** chapter, as there's a little more buildup and I want to answer another big question first. The title of this chapter gives it away to the astute.  
_

* * *

"Of course you were listening," Gail noted. She wasn't surprised or upset, which seemed to weird Holly out.

"Really?"

"Really, it's fine. I may kill Dov and Chloe."

"That would be messy," sighed Holly.

Really, Gail had expected Holly to eavesdrop, as well anyone else who was in earshot, and had kept some of her thoughts out of the conversation with her mother with that in mind. She and Holly were holding hands, walking down the street to the Penny when Holly confessed to being a bad spy. And to being waylaid by Elaine. "Sorry about Superintendent Mom, though." That annoyed Gail more than anything else. And Holly's recap of the conversation worried her. Why would her mother bring up Sophie? Or Holly moving to the States?

Holly stopped at the corner and chewed her lip. "Is this weird? This is weird, your mom is weird and pushy and ... Wow, no wonder you're saying you're messed up. If that's what the family dinners are like, I don't think I ever want to go. She just pushes you and- I'm rambling."

It was adorable. "Yeah. You're cute when you do that." She grinned at Holly, but that faded as she reflected on her mother. "It is weird. It's weirder that ... I think I'm okay with it. I mean, I actually _do_ have a clue what I want to be as a cop." Gail took Holly's other hand and swung them. It was stupid, but the idea had hit her watching her brother organize drug stings, and then again when Holly had been freaking out about Gail getting hurt at work. They were all aiming too low. She'd been kicking it around for months, though Gail had forgotten about the five year deal with her mother.

Brightening, Holly beamed at her. While she hadn't been pushy about it, she had been interested in Gail's future outside of them. Even if you discounted the time Holly had been sick, they'd talked around it a few times. "You do? That's great! I mean, if you want to stay a patrol cop forever, I'll still love you, but..."

"But goals are good and blah blah maturity?" Gail smirked as Holly blushed. Bingo. "Organized Crime." She'd nearly mentioned it to Holly before, though never in those words.

That stopped Holly's giddy, nervous rambling, "Mobsters?"

"More like major crimes. Lots of cool losers to bust. Little undercover now and then... I could stay in 15 too." She tried to read Holly's expression and failed. "It's less dangerous than patrol cop, in a different way... Steve's in a subdivision of it, and so's our Dad, but it's the way more fun stuff. Interesting stuff, lots of different crimes."

"You could be Sharon Raydor!"

Gail paused. "What? Who's that?"

"Mary McDonnell, total hottie. I'd frack her... She was the president of the colonies and then took over _The Closer_ from Kyra Sedgwick." Was Holly talking about TV shows? Before she could ask, Holly sighed, explosively, "That's _cool_."

"I did not expect that reaction," muttered Gail, but Holly leaned in to kiss her. "So you're okay with that idea?"

There was another kiss and Holly leaned back so their noses were touching, "_You're_ excited about it."

"It covers biker gangs too," grinned Gail, going in for another kiss.

Holly made a throaty growl type sound. "Oh, now that's a sexy idea." They kissed again and probably would have continued had someone not wolf whistled.

Breaking apart, and ready to break someone's face, Gail saw Nick smirking at them from across the street. "Asshole!" She shook a fist at him and laughed.

Sighing, Holly leaned into Gail's shoulder. "Let's talk about that later," Holly whispered. "Anything I can do to help..."

Gail smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're probably better at studying."

"_One_ of us finished medical school."

Dodging traffic, Nick ran across the road to join them. "Jaywalking's a crime, Collins," smiled Gail. "Who're you teaming with tonight?"

"Oh, you're bringing in a ringer on sci-fi night?"

Looking indignant, Holly dropped Gail's hand. "You want me to help rip off your friends!" She didn't sound actually mad and there was a smile on the edge of her lips. "I could be at home working on my article."

"Or," drawled Gail, walking past Holly towards the bar, "You could help me hustle all of them and become a living legend and co-champion of the universe." She knew Holly would follow her.

They indeed proceeded to clean up the trivia night. While Dov and Chloe each took the time to apologize for eavesdropping, Gail actually enjoyed the game for a change. When they did retire, Champion Team of the World, Holly was all giggles. "Okay, you were right. That was fun."

"I know, who knew those losers would be fun?" She caught Holly's arm and looped it through her own. "Dork games." Holly had cleaned the floor with them, even correcting one of the cards and proving it. Gail held her own, answering a question about Hobbits and making Holly blush.

"You say that, but you had fun too." Holly leaned in and sighed. "They're nice people." Gail didn't reply, but had to agree. In so far as people went. "You going to walk me to my car?"

Gail glanced down the road to where her apartment was. It was entirely unappealing. "Can I stay over?" She rarely asked that question, not wanting to invade Holly's space or push her too much.

With a soft groan, Holly shook her head. "Honey, I have to finish the article."

"I know, I just..." Gail sighed. "I like being with you. And we don't have to have sex every time I stay over." Blushing a little, Holly leaned into her more, giving in. "Is that a yes?"

"Fine." She sighed and kissed Gail softly. "I meant to leave earlier."

Gail smirked, "Oh you wanted a booty call. Let's swing by my place so I can get stuff for tomorrow."

"It would be easier if you just kept more things at my place," lamented Holly, turning towards her car.

Without thinking, Gail replied, "It'd be a _lot_ easier if I moved in with you." There was silence as soon as she said it. Whoops. That probably wasn't very funny. "Sorry that was—"

"That's not an overreaction because your mother's insane, is it?"

Gail blinked and shook her head. "Wasn't even thinking about her." She hesitated. Okay, great, now she was thinking about how her mother might react. Poorly, no doubt.

"Do you want to?" Holly sounded incredibly thoughtful.

"Do _you_ want me to?"

"Oh no, we're not doing that one, Gail," laughed Holly. "Are you serious?"

"About us? Yes, incredibly serious, would do anything for you serious." She tilted her head, "About moving in with you? Um, it's … scary." Holly looked at Gail with a strange, questioning expression on her face. "I've never actually lived with anyone I've been dating," admitted Gail. "I always wanted an out. Kept stuff at home. But I don't feel like I need a fall back escape or anything with you. I just … I just want to be with you more, and not have to go sleep in an empty bed all the time if our shifts are different." The longer Holly watched her, making that thoughtful face, the more every single, possible, excuse fell away. "Holly, can I move in with you?"

And Holly leaned in to kiss her softly, "Gail Peck, yes, you **may** move in with me."

"Well if you're going to be all grammar snobby about it ..."

* * *

Watching Gail study was cute. She was sprawled on Holly's living room floor with three glasses of drinks (water, ice coffee, juice), odd snack foods (cheesy puffs, untouched), multiple books and a laptop. Gail would read for a while, switch to the laptop to write something, and then go back. Every once in a while she'd stop and do yoga poses, which Holly hadn't quite sorted out yet. A detective Holly barely knew, Rosati, had dropped off piles of information for Gail to study, and mentioned a promise of babysitting. Which Holly had yet to ask about.

But as Gail often gave her room when working on an article, Holly just quietly went about her day, avoiding interfering with Gail. Most of Holly's day was sorting out where to move things so Gail would have enough room. It had been a good excuse to get rid of clothes she never wore, and to finally clean out the garage. Gail insisted on helping with the heavy lifting, saying it would clear her brain.

It wasn't a study pattern Holly would have used, but when she quizzed Gail at dinner one night (at Gail's request), she'd been impressed. Her girlfriend was pretty damn sharp. As Holly dropped the last box of donations in the foyer, her stomach growled. It had to be feeding time.

"I heard that, baby," Gail remarked, typing away. "Lemme finish this paragraph."

"Okay." Holly washed up and when she came back, Gail was at the kitchen island eyeing her phone as if it was evil. "That doesn't look good. Did you get called in to work."

"Checking Yelp reviews. Is there anywhere _good_ we haven't eaten at yet?"

"On the planet? I hear there are amazing restaurants in Paris."

"Steve's French sucks," remarked Gail. "But I was thinking in this area." She made a circle with one finger. "I mean, I should know more than the Vietnamese place you didn't know about if I'm gonna live here."

There it was again. Holly smiled a dopey smile. At Gail's suggestion they started with a couple longer sleepovers. First a weekend, then a whole week, and as of today four weeks, with Gail having a shift change in the middle. It wasn't a stupid idea, Holly realized after the first call in Gail had. While her girlfriend had a schedule, there were strange aspects of it that she hadn't really anticipated. There had been a couple fights, arguments really about who was doing what and sharing what, but they'd been mild. The worst part was Gail coming home banged up, but they'd been working on that for a while.

"Did we pass all your tests?" Holly poked her head over Gail's shoulder to study the Yelp list of restaurants.

"Yep, told the boys I'm moving out at the end of the month. Hey, this Greek place looks okay." She pulled up a listing.

Holly vetoed. "They have an open salad bar." She refused to eat at those.

"You don't have to have salad, baby," sighed Gail. They'd had the argument before, though. Any restaurant that was lazy enough to have a salad bar, and worse an open one with no sneeze guard, could not possibly be sanitary. "I don't want Asian... Burgers? Gourmet joint just opened."

Holly eyed Gail. "Honey, look at me. Do I look like gourmet dinner is on my list?" She was sweaty, filthy, and tired. "And damn it, now I want a burger."

Smiling, Gail handed her phone over. "Tell me what you want, I'll get it to go and feed you."

"You," sighed Holly, "are the best girlfriend ever." She skimmed the menu until she hit a burger with turkey bacon, crushed avocado, green sprouts, and Parmesan cheese. "What on god's green earth is Poutine Style?"

"Hell if I know, but I'm having that on the beer battered bacon with smoked salt onions." Gail took her phone back and made the order online. "Thirty minutes says the text." She beamed at Holly. "Just enough time."

"For ...?" They'd had quickies before, but thirty minutes was not enough time for Holly and Gail to shower, have sex, and then go get dinner.

"For cleaning up all my crap?" Gail claimed to be a slob but was insanely immaculate at Holly's. Actually her room was clean at her apartment. Gail also claimed to be lazy and hated exercise, but went running every morning. She hated working out, but had been going to the cop gym three to four times a week. The only thing that was accurate was Gail's absolute ineptitude at organized sports. Anything she could do solo, like golf or skiing, where the other person competed without her right there, she was amazingly good. Holly told her it was psychological.

She watched Gail put the books and laptop in a pile, clean up her glasses, and put the cheese puffs back in the cabinet. "I cleared off the smaller desk in the office," she noted.

"Cool. I'll put this up there." When Gail came back down, she was confused. "You _emptied_ the desk."

"I thought you might need it."

Gail snorted, "Only if I pass and get the job." Holly knew she would but didn't press. "Okay, burgers, anything else? Drinks?"

"We're good." Holly went to get her purse, to give Gail money, but the blonde was already out the door and the garage was opening. That was another conversation that they needed to have. While Gail was gone, Holly showered and changed and got dishes ready.

They hadn't talked about money before. When they went out to eat as friends, things had been traded back and forth, with no thoughts given to who paid what. As they transitioned into dating, that hadn't changed. Holly had originally borne the opinion that Gail lived with the boys to save money, but when later she learned it was for sanity and safety, she'd managed to never rethink the idea that Gail was of moderate income.

But... She had expensive hobbies as a kid. Shooting. Horseback riding. Competitive at that. It was possible her family had struggled to make ends meet for that, but given the dearth of familial love, Holly doubted that. That all implied that Gail came from some moderate to well off people.

It wasn't long before Gail was back, announcing herself with an expletive. "Holy shit. You are lucky I love you, Lunchbox. This stuff smells so good." The smell was intense, and Holly shelved her thoughts about money to dig in.

"Oh my god..." She stared at Gail, mouth partly crammed with burger. "This is amazing!"

"Yours too?" They traded bites, unable to determine who had a better meal. Gail had actually not gone for Poutine style, instead getting a serving of traditional Poutine fries to split. There was even something for desert.

Holly groaned. "You're trying to kill me."

"We go running _every_ morning," argued Gail, having no problem chowing down.

"I don't have your metabolism!" She looked at the second half of her burger in agony. She wanted it. But if she left it in the fridge Gail would eat it. Leftovers were, as Gail argued, fair game to whomever was hungry. The first time Gail had come back at three AM, Holly learned that her leftovers were not her own anymore. They'd fought, since Holly planned to eat the gourmet mac and cheese for lunch, but Gail won by pointing out the food wasn't labeled.

Holly smiled evilly and got a Tupperware box for her leftovers. Then she got a sticky note and a marker, writing 'Holly Stewart's Lunch' in bold letters. "I get the point," laughed Gail. She had actually finished her burger, but split out half the fries in another container. Kissing Holly's cheek, Gail stacked the boxes together. "Dr. Stewart's lunch shall not be touched."

That was interesting, in a good way. Holly watched as Gail started to clean the dishes when her eyes fell on the receipt. "Hey, honey, can I ask you something awkward."

Gail glanced over, loading the dishwasher. "Sure. But if it's about the underpants, I wear those cause they don't ride up when I'm chasing perps."

Cute. "No, I figured the boring shorts had a reason. It's about money." Looking slightly perplexed, Gail closed and started the dishwasher, but waited patiently. "I don't... You know I own this place, right?" And Gail nodded. "And, you're paying rent with the guys."

"Oh, yeah, I meant to ask you about that." Gail did not sound distressed or awkward. "I was thinking it'd make sense to just split it down the middle, but then I realized if you're still paying the loan, I could match that and then you'd be done twice as fast." She beamed, clearly delighted by her idea.

"Gail... How... That's a lot of money."

"Can't be," scoffed Gail. "You wouldn't be paying more than two grand a month on your mortgage. You're too smart." That was true, thought Holly. "Baby, are you trying to find out if I can afford living with you?"

Holly exhaled, "God! Yes. I have no idea. This is not a fun conversation."

"I make $76 a year," remarked Gail and Holly stared. "Good insurance too, because cop. I'll get a bump if I transfer. Add in my trust fund, I think we'll be okay."

"Your trust fund."

"Yeah, oodles of money. In my name too, so Mother can't get at me through it. It's all invested and shit. I don't touch it, except to buy my car. Didn't really want to get stuck with a loan." Gail did not drive an ostentatious car either. It was a modest Kia that Gail had bought shortly before they'd starting dating the first time but after they'd met.

Holly felt her voice go a little thin, "Oodles." She sat on the couch and tried to reassess her judgements. She was as bad as Lisa had been, assuming Gail was average. How stupid was that?

With a sigh, Gail sat down next to Holly. "What's wrong?"

"I think I'm an elitist ass."

Gail side-eyed Holly, incredulous. "Because you thought your house was out of my price range?" Holly nodded, guiltily. "Geeze, and here I was feeling weird because I thought you'd be all funny about not having my name on the lease or something..."

"I ... Okay, there's that too."

"Baby, I'm _just_ moving in." She patted Holly's leg. "Tell you what, if we're still here, doing good, in six months, we can talk about that and joint bank accounts and all the grown up stuff. I'll write you a check, you tell me how much, and we can have lots of sex."

Holly blustered, "Sex."

"Sex. Like the thing we could be doing right now." Gail smiled winningly. "No stinky boy roommates, no work tomorrow..."

She couldn't help but smile at Gail. "You need a shower."

"Okay," agreed Gail. "But I expect you to be naked and on that bed when I'm done."

* * *

Getting Sophie not to play the video games was hard. Until Chris sobered up enough for Gail's taste, Gail had flat out refused to bring Sophie over and saved their 'home' hangouts to Holly's place. That just became a thing they did, and Sophie simply asked when Gail was going to stay forever. When she told Sophie that she'd be moving in with Holly, the girl had cheered and ran through her own home to tell Noelle and Frank. Then she demanded getting to help Gail pack.

Somehow Gail managed to negotiate that to _unpacking_ of select items. Not that Gail had much of anything the kid wouldn't be okay seeing (maybe the vibrator...), but there were limits to how familiar she wanted any child to be with her underthings. Also snooping in the bedroom might turn out to be to a little too educational.

That left them downstairs or in the office, putting Gail's books away and sorting her video games. At this rate, Gail wasn't going to have much to move over. Instead of unpacking, this time Sophie was helping Gail frame pictures of herself and put them up in the office and hallway. It was Sophie's idea, saying that for every picture of Holly and her family, there should be one of Gail and hers.

"You and Holly and my friends are my family, kiddo!"

While Sophie was delighted to hear that, she was still skeptical of Gail's lack of parental photos. "Then you have to have one of me and my new family." The fostering was going well, thank god, and Gail happily framed a photo of the bemused Frank and his three girls.

The photo of Gail at graduation, with Steve, was also put up, next to the one of Holly and her mother at her college graduation. "Look at him, such a dork."

"You look all stiff."

"I was scared," she admitted. "My parents are really important police officers."

Sophie looked up, surprised. "How come you don't talk about them?"

"That's a big question, Sophie." Gail walked into the kitchen, where all the photos were strewn. "My parents care a lot about how I make them look, because they're so important."

Screwing up her face, Sophie sat down at the table. "I don't get it," she finally said.

"I don't either, most of the time." But Gail sat with her. How could she explain this simply? "My whole family are cops, Sophie. And being a cop, a Peck cop, is really important to them. So my whole life, I was always going to be a cop. And that was more important to them than me doing what I wanted."

"Oh." Sophie looked at the photos and frowned. "But you always tell me I should be what I want to be. So does Noelle."

Gail made a mental note to ask Frank what he was saying. Probably whatever Noelle said. "Because we want you to be happy."

"I thought you liked being a cop?"

"I do. I love it." Gail smiled, honestly certain she could never be anything else. "But I didn't want to be a cop as a kid, I had to be one." The puzzlement on Sophie's face was somewhat heartening. "It's confusing, I know. My mother and I don't get along. She's really nice when we're in public, but when it's just family, she tells me everything I'm doing wrong. A lot."

And now Sophie scowled, "She's _mean_."

"Yeah, she is."

The girl scooted out of her chair and hugged Gail tightly. "I'm sorry."

It took a lot not to cry, "Thanks." That was all she trusted her voice with.

"What about your dad?" Sophie wasn't budging from her spot, and she wasn't letting go of Gail just yet.

"My father. Doesn't like the fact that I'm dating Holly. He doesn't like it when boys date boys, or girls date girls."

Sophie loosened her hold and looked up at Gail, absolutely stunned. "How come you're so nice if they're mean and dumb?"

The laughter bubbled out, unexpectedly. "Oh, cutie, if anyone else heard you say that." She squeezed Sophie close. "Come on. Help me find the best picture of me with black hair, and we'll put it some place to surprise Holly."

* * *

Holly was absolutely terrified. "What do I do?"

"You hold him," Gail repeated, pulling on her coat. "Sweetheart, I'll be fifteen minutes okay? Stop panicking."

"But- what do I do if he starts crying?" On cue, the creature started making noises.

Crossing the room, Gail moved Holly's arms. "He's a _baby_, not a monster. You're holding him too far away, Holly. One hand there, the other here, okay, now lean him against your chest."

Very slowly, the baby was settled into Holly's body. She felt her heart pounding but the baby just nestled in and yawned. "Now what?"

"Now you go back to reading. You'll be _fine_, Holly," Gail kissed her lips lightly, stroked the baby's cheek, and bounced out the front door to run to the store.

And Holly was terrified. They had handed her a baby. Jo Rosati, a detective Gail enlisted to help her prepare for the detective test, was still on maternity leave and had agreed to help Gail in exchange for babysitting. Of course Gail had agreed, but that had ended up with them running out of diapers and Gail running out to the store, with Holly holding the baby.

Why was Holly holding the baby at all? She didn't have any idea what to so with one?! They were small and fragile and didn't speak. Holly had enough problems understanding people who _could_ talk, let alone infants. But Gail swore it would be fine and since Holly had the baby on her lap at the moment anyway, she'd just pop out. It was better than Holly taking an hour to figure out the right brand. Since Gail had also put the baby in Holly's arms after the diaper change, Holly suspected it was actually a setup.

Damn it.

The baby yawned and squirmed a little, beginning to fuss. "Okay, um, what do I do?" The fussing stopped. When Holly didn't say anything else, it picked up again. "Oh, okay. Right. Talk to the baby. Um. Do you like forensics? I'm reading about rehydrating tissues." The baby made a noise, a gurgle, that wasn't upset. So Holly started reading the article aloud.

Fifteen minutes later, when Gail arrived back with diapers, Holly was cradling the baby in one arm and reading. "You teaching him forensics?" laughed Gail.

"He fussed. I didn't know what else to do." Holly bit her lip. "Is this okay?"

"It's perfect, baby." Gail scooted Holly until she could sit behind her, making a trio of spoons. "See? Fits just fine." Her arms looped around Holly's waist, one hand caressing the baby's face. "And he's about to conk out."

"How can you tell?" Studying the tiny face in her arm, all Holly saw was a miniature Winston Churchill, looking a little grumpy.

"Keep reading, you'll see."

So Holly kept reading, and was startled to hear soft snores coming from the baby in mere moments. "Now what?"

"Now we relax, Holly. Lean back."

The soft weight of the baby was comforting, in the same way a kitten or a puppy could be, and Holly felt her eyes close. She could hear Gail's heartbeat and let that sooth her into a doze. It was, she reflected later, the best nap she'd had in years.

* * *

_Somewhere out there Jo Rosati married and had a kid. The bit players flow in and out of your life, so why not Jo too? She has a name, though. So I wouldn't kill her. Would I? Maybe. She did not marry Luke, by the way. And he comes back later on for an epically terrible date night that involves everything that could possibly go wrong.  
_


	29. The Mother of All Jokes

**Chapter 29: The Mother of All Jokes**

_Author's Note: We'll address those suspicions you have about Elaine now.  
_

* * *

There were two ways to tell her parents she was moving in with Holly and Gail didn't really like either. One was less stressful now, the other later. Gail sighed and picked up the phone. "This is Gail Peck. Is my mother in?" Not Officer Peck asking for the Staff Superintendent. Gail wanted her mother right now, deal with the stress now.

She waited on hold for a short while, before her mother's voice picked up. "Constable."

Of course, "Mother." There was no reply. Right. "I thought you should know I'm moving."

"You're moving. Out of the apartment with those boys?"

"Yes." She hesitated and got up, walking the length of the deck. "I'm moving in with Holly." There, that was said.

Her mother was quiet for a moment. "I see." This time, Gail waited her out. "Have you given thought to how this may impact your life?"

"I did." She had, actually, talked to Holly and Oliver about it. "I thought this was dad's beef."

Her mother snorted. "Your father is exceedingly nearsighted when it comes to the impact of your sexuality on your career. Your sexuality is not an issue. A lesbian staff officer would give Toronto the diversity it needs."

Gail cringed. Great. She'd have to fight about that later when they got into jobs, no doubt. "Then what's the problem?"

"Do you remember nothing we've talked about? Pecks don't move in with lovers."

Oh. That. The whole reason she was supposed to marry. "That worked out _so_ well with Nicholas," she sighed.

"Having children out of-"

"Woah! One of us needs to go back to school, cause I'm pretty sure Holly can't knock me up." Her mother paused and Gail realized how much of her mother's advice ran on Peck-auto-pilot. "Do you even care, as my mother, how I _feel_ about any of this?" She didn't let her voice rise or get angry. She didn't feel angry.

The hesitation on the phone spoke volumes. "You haven't talked to me about how you feel in years."

Gail looked out over the city. "You never asked." There was more silence. Clearly her mother wasn't going to start now. Gail could easily fall into her old patterns and be a brat or attack. Instead, she changed tactics. "Why did you marry Dad?"

Her mother hesitated. "Bill was reasonably attractive, nice, and I saw him as a way to further my career." The brutally honest answer was not very surprising when Gail gave it a thought. "The Peck name is more powerful than Armstrong in political circles."

The money in Gail's life came from her mother's side, the Armstrongs. Her mother's ambitions had always been naked to the family, though. Police Chief if possible, though as she aged that was becoming less likely, so a staff position and then the mayorship. She couldn't be worse than Rob Ford, Steve had quipped once. Elaine had always said that power through service was more sustainable than through money.

When Gail didn't reply, her mother asked, "Does that sound cold to you?"

To lie or to be honest. "Yes," she decided. Honesty won. "Dad knows?"

"Your father knows. It was part of our agreement. He lacks the investigative abilities you and your brother are graced with and saw it as a way to provide for the Peck future."

Backhanded compliments? Par for the course. Of course she and Steve were investments. "I don't feel about Holly that way." Holly was an investment in happiness.

She could hear her mother's teeth gritting. "How ... How _do _you feel about her?"

Words she never expected to hear for her mother, and Gail smirked. "She makes me a better person. More human." She sat down and stretched out her legs. Gail was still the same caustic person, but softer, which conversely made her feel like she was doing her job better. That said, she didn't think her mother would understand.

"She makes you feel human."

"Shockingly, yes." Gail sighed.

"And. How does ... How do you think she feel about this?"

Part of Gail was having way too much fun with making her mother uncomfortable. "As strange a concept as this may be, mother dearest, we talk. She's nervous, for good reasons. My job scares her sometimes." She sighed. They had talked, argued, about the dangers. That Gail had talked Holly into therapy was both good and horrid. She felt guilty about being the reason Holly had a therapist.

"Dating someone who isn't a police officer is difficult. They won't understand, dear, and they won't be alright with you being in danger-"

"Really? You're okay with me being shot at, even though I'm you're daughter, just because you're a cop?" Utter silence. The fact that her mother had to even think about the answer was enough. "Right. This is why _we_ don't talk."

Her mother exhaled loudly, "Don't be unreasonable."

"You don't worry about me getting hurt."

"You're a police office."

"I'm a _person_. I'm your _daughter_."

Now her mother snapped. "You're a Peck."

"Oh good, here it comes. Do what your told. Don't embarrass the Peck name."

"That isn't what this is about at all, Gail."

Huffing, Gail asked the obvious, "Then tell me. What is this about?"

Elaine was quiet for a moment, "You're our future. Toronto's future." Gail squeezed her eyes shut. "Your antipathy at your own career, your insistence at chasing cheap thrills over something of useful substance is ruining any chance you could have. And hitching your life to a woman who nearly left the country, without you I may add, is the same thing as Nicholas all over again."

The words stuck in Gail's head for a reason and she felt her blood run cold. "Did you tell Nick to join the army?"

"Suggested," demurred her mother. "He already had the idea."

"And the job in San Francisco, Holly's miracle job. Did you find that or- or did you kill her Visa?" Both options were horrible.

"I had nothing to do with her job offer."

This time, Gail was silent for a while. Her mother, her _mother_ got Holly's Visa spiked. "What the hell? Why the hell would you do that!? What the hell did Holly ever do to you?"

There was a pause and her mother sighed. "Dr. Stewart doesn't want children. I admit I didn't see this happening."

Squeezing her eyes shut, everything started to make sense. Her mother wanted Holly to talk Gail out of fostering. But when Holly staying hadn't changed Gail's mind, Elaine made damn sure social services would reject her. Hell, she probably made Gail look worse. Gail tried not to shout, "You don't — Do you have any idea how messed up that is, Mother? You don't want me to have a kid _and_ you don't want me to be with Holly, so you screw up both our futures and … what? Are you shocked we looked to each other for comfort? That I'd look to _anyone_ for that? You wanted me to run back to your arms like I did after Perik? 'Cause look at how good that worked out for us."

"Gail, you're being unreasonable. I think Dr. Stewart is a nice woman, but you won't last. You're too different."

Gail's mind was spinning. Her mother had gone far beyond what even Gail would consider tolerable. "I have decided something," she said firmly, sadly. "You don't care about what I want, or how I feel. And I actually don't care what you think about this. I don't care what you think about anything, but you can stay the hell out of my personal life." Gail stabbed at the hang-up button, wishing for a handset to slam down.

She wasn't disappointed. You had to have some expectations before you could have them crushed. That her mother had no idea about her life was expected. She was the little Peck Monkey who should play her cymbals and dance appropriately. And Gail ... Wasn't going to play that game. But holy hell, that Elaine had done this much and gone so far... Could she even tell Holly?

Absently she sent a text to her brother, warning him to run to the hills.

Instead of waiting for a reply, Gail switched her phone to silent and lay down on the bench. She wanted to say she loved her parents, but she really wasn't sure at all. She did what they wanted, behaved as they said, and they were disappointed. Then she she everything _but_ what they wanted, and got the same reaction.

She remembered too clearly sitting in the bridal suite, having some relative stranger help her out of her wedding dress, when her mother walked in to inform her that it wasn't too late to join the academy. They didn't even need to pull strings, Gail could simply apply and let the Peck Power take it's course.

Out of nowhere, Gail asked for five years. No more pressure, no more orders. She'd go to the academy, she'd become a police officer, and for five years her mother would step out and let her find her place. And they did, albeit unwillingly, and not without slip ups. She'd known the time was nearly up when her mother started setting up blind dates. Desperate enough for happiness, Gail allowed it, but in opening up her mind to the possibilities, she'd found Holly. The joke was on Elaine there.

"Gail, are you out here?" Holly's voice drifted out as she stepped onto the deck.

"Yep," sighed Gail, raising one hand.

She heard a door close, and Holly's voice was nearer. "Steve said you had a bad day?"

The footsteps were soft on the wood deck and Gail turned her head to look at Holly's feet. "You have cute toes," she informed her girlfriend's bare feet.

Holly sighed. "Are you drunk?"

"That would be more fun, and probably more maudlin." She looked up at Holly's concerned face. "I have informed my mother than we will be cohabiting lesbians."

Holly's face softened. "Pick up your head, honey." When Gail did, Holly scooted in so her lap could serve as a pillow. She played with Gail's hair as the sun started to set. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Decision time. Gail decided not to tell her about the Visa until she was sure. "She said being gay would make me desirable for the brass. Good PR to have a lesbo on staff." The bitterness she felt was starting to show. "Mostly she just reminded me why we don't talk." Holly was silent. She'd clearly been learning from Gail, who had told her the best way to get someone to crack was to wait. "She doesn't care."

"Gail, that can't be right." Holly's voice was filled with disbelief.

Reaching up, Gail took Holly's hand. "I am a means to an end. So's Steve." She looked at Holly's hand carefully. "I'm a Peck, but I'm not going to be like them." Kissing Holly's hand she said, firmly, "I love you."

"I love you too," sighed Holly, stroking Gail's hair. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." Gail closed her eyes. "On the plus side, no more family dinners for me!" Holly's hand twitched, squeezing Gail's. She didn't say anything, but then again she didn't have to.

* * *

For all Gail had so few boxes, she had a lot of beer and friends. "Honey, you have more people than things to move." Holly stared at the bevy of police officers in her home, _their_ home, with growing dismay.

"That's why we ordered pizza, baby," grinned Gail. She held a beer out to Holly, apologetically.

Well. At least Gail did have friends willing to help her move. Holly sighed and kissed her girlfriend. It had only taken one trip with Chris's truck to move Gail in, since none of the furniture came with her. The bed and dresser in Gail's room were handed down to Oliver's eldest, who was getting her own room at Oliver's. The cookware was left with the boys, though Gail swore they'd never use it. That left boxes of books, clothes, and weapons. And video games. Apparently the video games at the apartment had been Gail's, which made sense when she thought about Gail's sleeping problems.

Even when Gail stayed over, there were nights that Holly would wake up and find Gail sitting in the living room, watching the TV on low, or reading a book. The first time it happened, Holly asked if everything was okay and Gail had brushed it off. By the fourth time, they talked about how sometimes Gail's brain just didn't turn off. After that, Holly established a routine. If she woke up without Gail in bed she'd go downstairs, get a drink of water, and tell Gail she was going back to bed. Most of the time Gail would get up right away and go with her back upstairs to sleep. Any time she didn't, Holly would sit with Gail and either talk or just be there. Most of the time it was talking these days.

Of all the people she met, though, Holly liked Celery the most. She was funny, smart, and while she was a total health freak and Wiccan, she actually understood what she was talking about. They chatted about food and exercise while Oliver and Gail played some game that involved shooting each other. Chloe and Chris were cheering on Oliver, and Nick and Dov were arguing about sports while finishing the last of the pizza.

The first to leave had been Frank, Noelle, Sophie and baby Olivia. Sophie had run around with Leo for most of the day, the two hogging the video games. They'd had enough joint play days with Gail to be friendly enough, and both wanted Gail's attention the whole time they were there. It was the first time all of Gail's friends had seen her that that wrapped up in children. Noelle plied Holly with Olivia, insisting she hold the year old baby all day. Normally Gail confiscated the child but Holly gave it a whirl.

Andy had come and gone, leaving Holly with a warning that Gail walked around other people's homes in the buff. Gail pointed out it was once, from the shower to the couch, and normal people provided their guests with towels. Also Holly had already seen her naked, and there were no complaints. Steve and Traci had also left, hauling a sound asleep Leo. Steve brought them a housewarming gift of tickets to the ballet and a garbage pail. Always surprising, Gail confessed she'd wanted to see the show.

Still, the hordes were getting wearing and Holly mentioned as much to Celery. In turn, Celery whispered to Oliver and he quickly died in the game. "Okay, my Petulant Peck! It's time for us to get out of here! Come on everyone, clean up before you make forensics worry about crime scene contamination."

The group cleaned up, even taking the trash with them, remarkably fast. "Thanks, Oliver," smiled Gail. She had a strange fondness for the man who then hugged her. Holly could not imagine Gail allowing that from anyone else.

"Anything for you, darling. You're serious, huh?" He held her at arms length, studying her face. Holly blinked. He was asking Gail if she was serious about Holly _after_ they moved in together?

"I think I'll be good at it." The answer didn't match what Holly thought the question was, and she frowned. They must be talking about the job.

"No, you'll be _great_ at it." He clapped her shoulders. "Holly! Keep her home till Wednesday. Then we have work and excellence to create." There was another hug.

This time Gail laughed, "You're going to make me proofread your letter, aren't you?"

"Yes, because you write prettier. Okay! I'm out."

The last to leave were Dov and Chris. "So." Dov looked around. "I'm actually going to miss you around the apartment."

"Oh shut up," replied Gail. It wasn't quite snappish. "Like I've even been there lately."

"Can I hug you?" Chris was wistful.

"Jesus, it's not like I won't see you on Wednesday, idiots." And of all things, Gail grabbed both boys around their necks and hugged them. "Thanks," she said, incredibly quietly. "I know." Before Dov or Chris could reply, she knocked their heads together. "Now go away." Gail closed the door behind her friends and made a frustrated noise. "Oh my god, they're _gone_."

Holly smirked. "So? You sound very excited."

Leaning against the door, Gail looked giddy. "I don't have to go anywhere." She bounced. "I can walk around in my underpants and not have to think about what time it is, and if I should go back early to do laundry because my uniforms are all here and clean."

"You're excited about your laundry?"

"Come with me to the laundromat and you would be too."

"No," laughed Holly. "I'm going to think about you wandering around in your underpants."

Gail got a cocky look on her face, "I have five days off. _You_ have four."

"What _will _you do with yourself that last day," teased Holly. Gail didn't answer. She simply locked the door and smiled. Without a word, Gail walked past Holly, pulling her shirt off on the way. "Oh," blinked Holly, watching Gail step out of her shorts and, in nothing but underwear, climb the steps.

This living together stuff had it's benefits.

* * *

The idea of getting drunk was so, so appealing to Gail right now. Still, she nursed her first Jack and Coke at the bar and confused the hell out of the bartender by not asking for shots. "Hey, stranger!" Dov dropped onto the stool beside her. "Where's your better half?"

"Out," muttered Gail, carefully sipping the drink. Dov ordered a drink and Gail felt him staring at her. "What?" she snapped.

"I'm trying to figure what you did."

Groaning, Gail put her head on the counter. "I'm in the doghouse."

"Come on, it couldn't be that bad."

"Her mother's in town."

"This sounds like a table conversation," announced Dov, and he took Gail by the arm over to one of their regular tables. "Do I need to call Andy or Traci?"

Gail scowled at Dov, but sat down, "You're girly enough for me." They shared an awkward look, and Gail wondered if Dov remembered when he was high on painkillers and confessed his feelings to her. Really, she probably would have been happy with Dov, on many levels. And then killed him in his sleep for being Dov.

"I'll take that as a compliment," decided Dov. "What's her mom like? Or is that the problem?"

"She's awesome. The opposite of Superintendent Mom. Funny, smart..." Holly's mother was very much like Holly. Not a people doctor, Lily Stewart was a PhD in botany who worked in biotechnology. She had come to visit the Toronto Botanical Gardens, and used the business trip as an excuse to meet her daughter's live in girlfriend.

So Gail recounted the story of the lunch, and how Lily had been fun to talk to until she started making veiled comments about kids. "You guys don't want kids?" Dov's question was innocent.

"Holly kinda doesn't." Maybe. They still talked around and about it a little, but Gail agreed to not press the matter until she turned thirty. She wanted kids very much but was alright with borrowing Leo or Sophie or the baby. And Holly was still super-hesitant about the idea. It was okay to give it time. "And it was getting... You know how parents push?"

Dov was about as close with his parents as Gail and Chris were (and that was much of why the three had lasted so long as roommates). "Yeah, especially when they don't understand."

"Right so ... I ... Was me."

"Yikes." Dov had once told her she made a horrible first impression and he wasn't wrong. "What did you say?"

Gail sighed. "She started it." She knew it was petulant. "She asked when Holly was going to have a baby, since my job was too high risk. So ... I said I was trying my hardest but it hadn't stuck yet."

The damned thing was Holly had smirked. The second half of the joke was the problem, as while the first part was amusing the second was crass. She told Dov the rest of the joke. He winced.

"You make a joke about dildos to your girlfriend's mother?"

"I might be insane." Gail sipped the Jack and Coke again. She didn't want to actually get drunk, as that would probably end with a very unhappy Holly when she went home. "Holly suggested dinner should be _just_ her and her mother with ... She has this look."

Dov scratched his chin. "Need to crash at my place?"

"No, I'm not climbing trees again." While Dov didn't get the joke he nodded. "I'm waiting to hear the all clear so I can go home and not embarrass my girlfriend anymore." Thank god Lily was staying at a hotel.

They both drank slowly. Dov finally got out the trivia cards and they played one on one for a little while until he stopped and jerked his chin. "Hey, go apologize."

Gail glanced over her shoulder and blinked as Holly, sans mother, was walking towards them. "Maybe I can melt into the table." The look on Holly's face was firm. Muttering he was out, Dov left the cards on the table and vanished. "You chicken shit," growled Gail at his back.

Without asking, Holly sat down in Dov's seat. "How many?" She pointed at the glass in Gail's hand, which still had some remnants.

"Just this." She slid the glass away, not interested anymore. "Your mom at the hotel?" Holly nodded.

The cop in Gail was patient. She knew to wait. The girlfriend wanted to grovel. "My mother," sighed Holly, "asked me if you were satisfying me." Gail blinked and Holly added, "In bed. Sexually."

"God I hope so," Gail replied, not thinking before the words came out of her mouth. Holly quirked a grin. "Wait. Does that mean I'm not in trouble for the not-funny joke?"

"Not with her, no," admitted Holly. Gail sighed and started to form an apology about how she knew it was inappropriate. "I, on the other hand, am." All the words died on her lips and Gail stared at her girlfriend. "I... May not have previously mentioned I was your first girlfriend."

A series of emotions went through Gail's mind, from horror to amusement and back to embarrassment. "Wait a second. You told your mother I was a- a-" Gail lowered her voice, "You told her I was a lesbian virgin?"

"Not in so many words," cringed Holly. "She figured you were nervous, and I said she was the first parent that you'd met." That much was true. The meeting with Nick's parents had been non-existent, as they were dead long before the wedding, though nothing yet topped a wedding reception dinner with your very angry family and no one else. Steve still counted it as the worst family dinner ever.

"That could mean a lot of things."

Holly sighed, "Saying you hadn't had a girlfriend before was a give away." Looking at the table, Holly grumbled, "She led me right into her trap. Sneaky parents."

"I suppose that could be worse," Gail sighed and signaled the bartender to bring Holly her usual. "Is your mom mad about all the other straight girls you dated?" Only one had been really serious, or so Holly said. The morose nod made Gail feel a lot better.

Holly ran her finger around the rim of Gail's empty glass. "It's like Lisa and Rachel, you know? She doesn't want me to get hurt. And from her perspective, it's sudden. I was all elated about you, then I didn't talk about you, then I wanted you to run away with me, and now we moved in together..."

"When you put it that way, I sound like a terrible idea," agreed Gail. The waitress brought two drinks but Gail's had a cherry. Roy Rogers. Perfect. "On the bright side, she doesn't live _here_." Avoiding Gail's mother was relatively easy, since she worked in the big building and neither Gail nor Holly did. "Man, I was worried she'd be mad about the cop thing."

Smiling, Holly sipped her drink. "Oh there's that too." She ticked off the issues on her fingers, "I've allowed a previously straight cop to live with me, who broke up with me once, and while you are very sweet, you are a disaster waiting to happen."

No one called Gail 'sweet' except Holly, and generally that was after sex, but she snorted. "Joke's on her. I'm already a disaster."

"Well, you're my disaster." Holly wore that awkward half smile. She leaned in and kissed Gail. "I told her she didn't have to come by if she didn't like you."

Gail winced. "Holly-"

"And she apologized, said I was a grown up, and then asked about the sex thing."

"I have no reference to this, Holly ... Is that good?" Parents, in Gail's experience, were not to be joked with.

"It is." Holly leaned across the drinks and kissed Gail. "We're having dinner again tomorrow, at home. No sex jokes. No baby talk."

Gail chewed her lip. "I thought you wanted to watch the game tomorrow."

Holly looked perplexed. "I do. You don't think I got my love of sports from my dad, do you?"

* * *

_We don't meet-meet Lily much yet. There will be more in part 6._


	30. Sleep Is For The Week

**Chapter 30: Sleep Is For The Week**

_Author's Note: Bonus chapter! No, the title is not a typo._

_aee5791, I think the answer is my writing of the characters got better and the story got better. I feel like a hit a groove. So both :)_

* * *

There was a luxurious feeling to waking up late, when the sun was already closer to its peak than the beginning. When Holly had a lazy, slow, roll into consciousness and her awareness first touched on the little, soft, things in life. The mornings when first color Holly's eyes saw was the various shades of blonde that topped the head of the most complicated and wonderful person in her life. When she felt warm skin against her own and the soft air of someone else's breath. A start where Holly could observe the sleeping form of her girlfriend in absolute relaxation and calm, and Gail looked delicate and gentle.

This was not one of those mornings.

This was the fifth morning in a row where Gail had been gone when Holly woke up. Perhaps the better way was to say Gail was not yet back. More accurate at least. She'd been stuck working a case with Dov, a sting operation that the two were apparently good at. Holly vaguely remembered Gail doing that before, in the time when they were just friends, but it hadn't bothered her as much as it did now.

When the person you spent your nights with was absent, it was strange and uncomfortable. Sounds you'd ignore with her there were startling and distressing. The bed was colder and needed an extra blanket. Worst, you had to be extra quiet the rest of the day, when she was home, so she could sleep.

So there she lay, far too early to want to be up, listening to the rain and thunder pounding the house and thinking about her girlfriend. The rest of the visit with her mother had actually gone well. Holly had been terrified since the last girlfriend who met her parents was straight now. She had made a choice not to mention that Gail had never dated women before Holly, only to have her mother wheedle it out the way that mothers did.

Gail didn't really mind, but then again, Holly hadn't given her the details of her serious ex-girlfriends. At the dinner with just her and her mother, Holly had divulged the whole story, including the part with her Visa and how Gail had been the only friend to help her and support her on both ends of that move.

Her mother, sternly, had informed her that Gail was in love and under no circumstances was Holly to run away. Lily knew her too well. There had been other, lesser relationships in the last six years, but none had lasted past the other woman falling in love. Always the other woman, never Holly. Holly kept herself away from that investment.

So she told her mother the truth. She was in love with Gail and had said so to her. Holly Stewart was growing, trying new things, and self-honesty about emotions was one of them. That didn't stop her mother from taking her emotional temperature, but it did mean Lily was more inclined to listen and believe her. That this time felt different and special and she was in it for the long haul.

Which was when her mother asked if the straight girl was good in bed. Because mothers. Holly blurted the answer (yes) and felt insanely embarrassed to even have that conversation at all.

The storm picked up, distracting Holly. The rain was up to pouring and the lightning made it seem like midday. Then there was the thunder. Ugh. Holly curled up under the blankets and wished Gail was there. While she wasn't afraid of the storm, having a soft, warm body to curl up with while it raged was one of the most peaceful things in the universe. Instead, she was stuck inside, alone, listening to the tree branches shake and the windows rattle.

Atop those sounds, the familiar one of the garage door rumbled through the house. Holly glanced at the clock and was surprised to see it was four in the morning. The garage rumbled again and she closed her eyes to concentrate on the noises. A door opened and closed, Gail coughed and took off her boots. A moment of silence passed and then the softer sound of socked feet could be heard. Gail went right for the office and then bathroom, only coming into the bedroom after a rather long shower.

When Gail sat heavily on the bed, Holly opened her eyes and saw Gail's entire body looking exhausted. "Hey," she said softly, reaching over to touch Gail's bare back.

"Hey," Gail sounded surprised and turned around to smile at her. That wonderfully goofy smile, incredibly soft and tender, gave Holly a thrill. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, storm did." Holly ran her fingers over Gail's back and side. "I like this look," she grinned.

Gail looked down, confused. "Oh, I was trying to remember what comes next," she sighed.

"Shirt, underpants. Or not."

Smiling, Gail got up and dug in her dresser for underpants and then raided Holly's for a sports shirt. "I'm way too tired, Holly."

When Gail joined her under the covers, Holly wrapped herself around the blonde. "I only meant I don't care what you wear, as long as you're here." She closed her eyes and settled in, listening to Gail's breathing.

"Romantic," yawned Gail, her body relaxing quickly.

Storm or not, it was much easier to fall asleep for two more hours now than it should be and Holly woke up hours later to Gail's alarm and a cursing Gail. There was much slapping at the nightstand before the sound stopped and Gail lay still on her stomach. "Honey," whispered Holly.

"Fuck no." The words were clear and pained and tired and Ice Queen.

Holly ran a soothing hand over Gail's back. "Do you have to get up?"

"No," she replied, surly, her back tense with frustration. Holly smiled and rubbed Gail's back. It was more of a caress, intending to be soothing. As Gail's back loosened, Holly stretched out and rested her cheek on Gail's shoulder blade.

Trusting her girlfriend not to skip work, Holly assumed Gail had the afternoon off and closed her eyes to breath in the scent of the woman she used as a pillow. "I love you," she said softly, barely above a breath.

She felt, more than heard, Gail's reply. "Me too."

"Good." Holly smiled and let herself fall into a light doze.

When she drifted back into awareness, the storm had gotten louder and Gail was moving in her sleep. After a moment, Holly recognized the motions. They were tight and controlled. Gail was just barely moving her arms, the hands clenching and loosening, her mouth opening. This was not the first time Holly had seen the beginnings of Gail reacting to her dreams.

She shifted, still draped over Gail's side, and squeezed her gently. "It's Holly," she said, in as clear a voice as she could muster. Gail stiffened and Holly repeated herself. "Gail, it's me, Holly."

It was Holly's therapist who had come up with the idea. At Gail's request, the two therapists had compared notes when Holly had asked about what would actually help when Gail had a nightmare. The directions were simple. If they were already touching, deepen it. Otherwise, don't try to touch her. In either case, tell Gail she was there, she was Holly, and where they were. Thankfully, Gail wasn't prone to lashing out when she had a nightmare. Like so many other things, Gail just kept her pain bottled up inside.

"Gail, wake up." Holly moved slowly, easing her weight off of Gail but keeping her hand in place. "You're at home with me. It's just a dream."

Gail stopped moving and her eyes opened. "Oh," she sighed and scrunched her face up. "What... What time is it?"

"Little after eight."

Nodding, Gail pushed herself up. "Well. Shit, there goes catching up on sleep." She sat cross legged and stared at the windows above the bed. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Some," yawned Holly. "Do you remember what you were dreaming?"

"No." Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't. To Gail, the ones she didn't remember were the most annoying. "I'm okay."

Taking Gail at her word, Holly nodded. "Breakfast." She swung her legs out of bed, stretching as she sat up. Gail's hand on her shoulder stayed her. "It's Saturday, honey."

"I know." Gail moved around and sat behind Holly, resting her head on the shoulder with her hand. "Thanks for waking me up." Her free hand wrapped around Holly's waist.

Holly pressed her weight against Gail, trying to be comforting. "Do you have to work today?"

"No, we made the bust last night. Right before the rain started." Gail didn't let her go though. "Why did you stay with me that night?"

"Which night?"

"The first time. When I was on Oxy and freaked out in your guest room."

Squeezing Gail's hand, Holly sighed. "Because you shouldn't be alone."

Gail made a soft noise into her shoulder. "I used to never want to touch anyone. After a nightmare." Her voice was quiet but not a whisper. "I wanted everyone to leave me alone and ... When we were not dating, all I wanted was for you to be there." She paused, "That sounds really needy."

"Its allowed, honey."

"Not a fairytale," sighed Gail.

Smiling, Holly turned her head so her cheek pressed against Gail. "Still. We're pretty beautiful." There was a mirthful laugh into her shoulder and Gail kissed it. "Come on, I'll make french toast."

With one more kiss, Gail let go and followed Holly downstairs. "I'll make coffee. Lots of coffee." There was flash of light and the house seemed to shudder a second later when the thunder echoed. "Shut up, no one asked you," she growled at the weather and Holly laughed.

"If you manage control over the weather, I'll be impressed," she teased her girlfriend. "I have a proposal." Starting the coffees, Gail just made a noise to indicate a question. "After breakfast, we curl up on the couch and watch a movie, or read, or something horribly mundane that everyone else will think is boring."

She glanced over at Gail who looked thoughtful. "That's the best offer I've had all week, Holly."

* * *

Drunk people were annoying. The less Gail drank, the more annoying drunk people had become. So Nick, who could be very annoying on the best of times, was rubbing her last nerve at the Penny. The only reason she hadn't gone over and popped him one was that Chloe and Traci were bracketing her, keeping her trapped.

"Can I just go home?" Gail really didn't want to be there, hanging out with her cop family, on a Friday night.

"No," smiled Traci. "Because you will just go home and mope."

Growling, Gail sipped her beer. "I will not. I'm a grown woman."

"She means she'll watch reality TV." Chloe winked and Gail begrudged her a smile. "When's Holly back?"

Gail sighed. "Thursday." Seven days. Seven days of kicking around Holly's house alone. Okay, their house. Gail paid rent, as it were, but she still felt like it was Holly's. And with Holly in Victoria for a conference, the house was all Gail. And she disliked it.

Chloe tapped her glass. "I think we should go to Gail's and drink where there are no stupid boys."

And without Gail actually having a say in the matter, she found herself drinking beers in her own living room with Chloe and Traci and no stupid boys. The last part of that was okay by Gail, but she was less keen on a hen party. When Holly called, Gail went to the stairs for some privacy.

"Hi, how's Victoria?"

"Wet. I don't think it's stopped raining since I got here," grumped Holly. They'd texted when Holly was in transit, but had not had the chance to talk.

"I don't think I'm going to like this," Gail admitted.

That got a laugh from her girlfriend, the weird laugh when Holly felt multiple emotions but couldn't express any in words. "Well." Holly cleared her throat. "I just got out of the shower and I'm naked."

Gail's mouth went dry. "Jesus, Holly, no we can't do that." She closed her eyes, picturing naked Holly on their bed.

"Gail," sighed Holly, exasperated.

Quickly, Gail cut in. "No, I mean not tonight." The idea of phone sex was curiously appealing. She tried to picture it with Nick and almost gagged.

"Why? I don't have anything till brunch tomorrow, and I know you're off till second-"

"Traci and Chloe are here, drinking all our beer." Silence. "Right. So I _could_ go to the bedroom, but that would be, um ..."

"Rude and crass."

"Yeah." Gail exhaled loudly. "I didn't know you were in to that," she teased.

"Neither did I." There was a breathless laugh. "I don't know if I am, but hey, I'm all about new experiences." Both women paused and then laughed. "Why are you entertaining guests? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just Nick being a dick. He was digging me about being bi and got all weird when I said I wasn't."

"Honey, you did date men."

"Sure, so did you. I'm not bi," Gail said firmly. And she knew in her heart she wasn't. There was just no way she was bisexual because men, even men she'd slept with, stopped looking attractive. No. That wasn't it. Nick and Chris, for example, looked exactly as attractive as they always had. They just didn't turn her on.

Once Holly had kissed her in the coat room, Gail started thinking about what it meant. As their friendship grew, Gail realized how much Holly meant to her in a way no one else had. It was that silly setup Holly had at the Penny that told Gail what she needed to know on no uncertain terms. Since that moment, men stopped being attractive in the same way. They looked nice, but they didn't flip her switches. The idea of kissing them didn't make her feel warm inside.

When they'd broken up, Gail had been so loathe to admit it that she still never looked at anyone else. She wanted Holly and for once it was just that simple. Why couldn't everyone else see that?

"I didn't get engaged to men," joked Holly.

"Hey." She wasn't really annoyed that Holly gave her crap about Nick. Holly did not like Nick very much, though she tolerated his existence as well as Gail tolerated Lisa. She liked Rachel, Rachel was cool. Lisa was shallow and elitist and bitchy and reflected most of Holly's worst traits. Rachel was an overprotective momma bear friend, like Traci. "No more men. This is a man free body," she informed Holly, firmly.

"That is good to know." There was a rustle of cloth and Holly's voice was muffled, "There's a dinner tomorrow. It's over at nine."

Which meant midnight in Toronto. "Call me anyway, okay? I want to hear your voice." Gail was glad she was sitting away from her friends and they could neither hear her voice nor see her blush.

"I will. I love you, honey. Don't stay up all night with the girls."

"Don't try to make it sound fun, Chloe's here." That made Holly laugh softly. "I love you too, you nerd. Night."

After hanging up, Gail sat in the dark for a moment more. She could hear Traci and Chloe laughing about something and sighed. There was a funny ache in her chest, a hole where Holly usually sat. Even though they were just apart for a week, it was painful. She wanted Holly to just be around. But instead she had friends in the living room and Gail hauled herself to her feet to join them.

"Hey, she's back," cheered Chloe. "How's Holly?"

"Fine." Gail dropped onto the easy chair.

With a glance at Gail, Chloe turned to Traci, "Is she always like this? Or is it just me?"

"Pretty much always," Traci confirmed. "She's sulky when she can't have what she wants. Wait till you're on a stakeout with her and there's no coffee."

Gail picked up her beer, joining the conversation. "I'm cutting down on coffee."

Both her friends stared at her. "You?" Traci was agog. "Wow, Holly's totally got you whipped."

Actually her therapist had suggested she cut down on the coffee, to try and sleep more. Or better. The list of things she was supposed to do was long and crazy and impossible. One of the items was to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. That wasn't possible given her job. So she started with cutting out hard alcohol and back on coffee.

"She doesn't drink hard liquor anymore either," pointed out Chloe.

Ever the shrewd one, Traci didn't say why out loud but asked, "Doing okay?" Gail shrugged and nodded. "Holly's good for you."

Gail looked down at her hands and sighed, "I think so."

"She's cute like this," Chloe remarked. "Are you still jealous?"

Rewinding multiple conversations in her head, Gail found the right one when she'd told Chloe she was jealous of being able to be herself all the time. "Less. You just know, though, and it's really annoying. Not fake."

"Thank you." They clinked their beer bottles together. "Do I get to ask personal questions? I mean, I'm kind of drunk in your living room and Traci's your friend..."

Gail rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She wasn't about to tell Chloe that she thought of her as a friend as well.

Traci was amused, "Its so cute, you're making friends." When Gail shook her fist, Traci laughed. "At least Andy's not here. She has this pathological obsession with 'I Never' and Gail threatened to use pepper spray on her if she brought it up again."

"Never have I ever used pepper spray on McNally's person. Intentionally." Hoisting her bottle, Gail smirked and took a sip.

"See that isn't fair! I sprayed her when we were cadets," complained Traci.

"We're not playing!" They all laughed though. "How're things with Steve?"

Traci's skin darkened. "Fine," she said too quickly. "Good... Gail I don't want to talk to you about your brother!"

"So I shouldn't ask if he's pleasing you-" Traci launched over from the couch and covered Gail's mouth, shrieking a no. Not that Gail and Steve talked about sex, ever. Pecks didn't. Gail wasn't even sure other Pecks actually had sex, except there were enough of them around to assure that they must.

Once the tussle was over, and Gail promised not to talk about Steve, Chloe remarked that Steve was cute. "But if I was going to date a Peck, it'd be Gail."

Silence. Both Traci and Gail stared at Chloe. "Me?"

"Gail?"

Chloe looked between them. "Well. Yeah. You're hot, Gail. That skin and the hair. And I bet you're great in bed."

"Oooooookay, how drunk are you?" Gail forced herself to laugh, as if Chloe had said the most ridiculous thing ever.

"Not that drunk," grinned Chloe. "Besides, just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be bi."

Gail blinked. "Oh." She thought about it for a moment and decided it made some sense. "Well. Dov is practically a woman," she allowed. "But I'm not drunk enough to talk about your sex life either, Princess." They moved on to other topics thankfully.

The second night on her own, Gail was presented with Chris, Dov, and pizza. They played video games for hours, which was fun enough. When Holly called at two AM, Gail was too sleepy to hold up her own conversation and they promised to call earlier on Sunday. That didn't happen, as Gail was called in to cover when the flu ran through the division. She ended up working doubles and collapsing in the bed at the end of the day.

At least the sheer exhaustion kept the nightmares at bay, even though she broke the rule about no more than three cups of coffee a day.

Tuesday night was different. Her phone rang at nine and Gail brightened to see Holly was FaceTiming her. "Hello, sexy," she grinned, turning off the TV. Holly's face was free of makeup, clearly freshly showered.

"Hello yourself. You look like you slept."

"I did." Gail felt any tension she'd had leftover from covering shifts drift away as she studied the tiny, pixelated face of the woman she lived with. "God, you're beautiful, Holly," Gail exhaled.

"You're just saying that because I'm thousands of miles away."

"I'm saying it because it's true." Gail rubbed her thumb along the side of her phone, wishing she could touch and kiss Holly right now.

There must have been something in her face making that obvious as Holly blushed. "Stop looking at me like that, honey. I'm supposed to go back out."

"Sorry." She wasn't sorry at all but in deference to Holly's plans, Gail changed the subject. "This place is weird without you here."

Holly laughed softly. "I feel the same way when you're working the night shift."

"I need to stop that," sighed Gail. "I like being a cop. You just make me want to stop screwing around."

With a smirk, Holly asked, "You sure about that?"

"I'm not screwing around with you, Stewart," laughed Gail. "Wouldn't mind some sweet lady loving, though."

Holly burst out laughing. "Who said that?"

"Bisexual Chloe Price, who says I'm hotter than my brother. She's just leapfrogged over Andy and Chris on my friend list."

Still laughing, Holly asked, "You rank them?"

"Of course. Ollie, Traci, Dov, Chloe, Chris, Andy."

"What about me, Steve, and Nick?"

Gail stuck her tongue out. "You are my best friend and my girlfriend. You aren't on the list. Steve is right up there with Oliver, and Nicholas can fuck himself. He's being weird again."

"That's never a good sign. Did he break up with that IA woman?"

"I'm not sure they we're actually dating," Gail grumbled. "Tonight, tomorrow, and tomorrow."

"Technically I'll be home before Thursday night. I have a direct flight."

"I know, I may have to pick you up in the cruiser."

"Kinky," smile Holly. "I could take a..." Her voice trailed off and her face fell.

"Taxi, Holly, you can say the word, but snowball in hell you're taking a taxi when I'm around." She knew on an intellectual level that Holly had taken a taxi to the hotel from the airport, but she didn't really want to think about it. It had been Holly's idea to turn on the 'Find My Friends' apps on their phone and track each other that way. That had helped as long as she didn't think about the phone not being with her.

Holly studied Gail's face in the phone. "I'm fine, honey. Don't worry." When Gail scowled Holly looked guilty. "Tall order. I know. Sorry."

"Stop being so Canadian," smiled Gail. "I love you."

They talked for an hour before Gail started to yawn and Holly ordered her to bed. Wednesday was Holly's turn to be drained, having spent the day running around Victoria meeting people. But Thursday...

Oliver got both edges of Gail's tongue at its sharpest when he asked her to stay later. As soon as the words 'pick up Holly' left her mouth, he relented but said he'd need her tomorrow. That wasn't Gail's plan. Her plan, her careful plan, was for picking up her girlfriend, eating, and then having three days where the world could take care of itself for a change. But Oliver made her a deal. She worked Friday, she stayed on days for the next two weeks instead of second shift.

That was a deal and Gail took it with both hands. There wasn't enough time to change after the argument, so Gail chucked her gear into the trunk and picked up Holly still wearing her uniform. The look on Holly's face seeing Gail in the uniform was worth the drive. Between the short hair and the uniform, Holly's buttons were clearly pushed in all the right ways.

Holly wanted to leave the luggage in the car, but Gail pointed out they both needed showers. That just made Holly complain she wasn't going to get to undress Gail, but she agreed to at least bring the luggage into the house. Food waited though. Definitely. Gail knew it was a little crazy, missing someone so much and craving their touch so much after just a week. But everything about this, about them, felt so right when they were together that the week dragged painfully.

Sweaty and satiated, Gail let her head rest on Holly's chest. Their legs were still threaded together, the sheets an absolute mess.

"I missed you too," Holly exhaled into Gail's hair, her hands lightly drifting up and down Gail's back. "I used to love those trips. See new places, eat new foods."

"Have sex with random people?" Holly pinched her side and Gail laughed, sliding off to lie on her side. "I'm kidding." She kissed Holly's arm, then shoulder, and then neck. With a pleased sigh, Holly slipped her arm under Gail and pulled her close.

Gail didn't care about who Holly had slept with before. They both had pasts and histories, but right now they had each other. And being here, being happy with her personal life, was still wonderful and novel to Gail. She never wanted to let it, or Holly, go.

* * *

_That's the end of Part 3 folks! Part 4 is Peck vs Peck. It's about to get really bad for people.  
_

_If you noticed on AO3, the chapter number got bumped to 80. That means part seven is complete and will be published. No it's not Ebola, that's part eight and yes it's also done. I don't know if you'll like where they go... Settle in, we have a long road!_


	31. The Peck F

**Part 4: Peck vs Peck**

_I said there was a reason why the adoption was turned and the Visa was revoked. There was, as you learned, a Peck reason. But if you think that__'__s the end of that situation, remember that Gail has **not** yet explained all that to Holly. And you may want to worry that Elaine may have more plans. Also, what__'__s up with Bill?_

_Somewhat unrelated, if you have any thoughts about a crossover story with the folks from Motive, go to my blog (link is on my profile since FFN is stupid) and let me know. Or just leave a review. I read them all!  
_

**Chapter 3****1: The Peck F**

_Author's note: Let's start with some crime and come back around to one of Holly's fears.  
_

* * *

"Hey, officers ..." Holly glanced over at her uniformed girlfriend, who was busy giving her rookie a short dress down about how to properly clear a scene. When Gail didn't answer, Holly checked again. Yep. "Officer Peck, can you call an ambulance?"

That got Gail's attention, "Dispatch, Peck 8727. We need an ambulance on scene."

"Copy. Status?"

At the reply, Gail looked at Holly, clearly lost. "This one's alive," Holly explained, pointing to the second body.

"Son of a ... Damn it, Gerald! Again?" She snarled and slapped her radio, "Dispatch, looks like one of our DBs is still alive. Dr. Stewart's on scene."

Even Holly could hear the laugh from dispatch. "Copy. We have Officer Moore's call at clearing the scene."

"Yeah, he missed one," snarled Gail. "You are really pissing me off, Gerald."

Even Holly knew the kid's name was Duncan, but Gail only called him that when he did something right. Which meant very rarely. It had become a joke at the lab, with everyone blaming 'Gerald' for all sorts of mishaps. "His pulse is very slow, Gail," demurred Holly, as Gail squatted beside her.

Gail pulled off her leather gloves and pulled on a rubber one to check the pulse herself. "Wow, okay, Duncan, it's not _that_ bad." She had to move her hand around twice, and finally put an ear to his chest.

"He's not not-dead?" The rookie (Gail insisted he would always be a rookie, even if he was out of probation and a real, full, officer) walked up, confused.

"The word is alive, you moron," Gail corrected. "He's alive, but his heart and breathing are low..." She trailed off and stared at the younger man.

"Oh! He was probably drugged!"

A smile crossed Gail's face. "Better. Okay, you can pick lunch. Sandwiches or burgers?"

"Aren't burgers a sandwich, ma'am?"

Holly covered her mouth as Gail explained, laboriously, that they were not at all the same. While she chastised Duncan, Gail's attention remained on the not-dead guy, keeping track of his pulse and respiratory reactions.

The EMTs did not take overly long, in fact, they were surprisingly fast. They quickly loaded up the guy into their ambulance, entirely non chatty. Holly gave them all the information she could think of and was delighted (and turned on a bit) when Gail recited his vital stats. "Impressive, Officer," she smiled at Gail.

But Gail was staring at the EMTs. She'd gotten that way before at crime scenes, sometimes just when dealing with people. It was never her gut, Gail would tell Holly repeatedly, it was her observation skills. "Counting's easy," replied Gail, eyes on the ambulance. "Duncan, ask dispatch what number was the ambulance they sent."

The younger officer, fear of Gail well and truly placed in his heart, did so. "What's wrong," asked Holly, stepping behind Gail out of reflex.

"How do you load a body into an ambulance, Dr. Stewart? Head or feet first?"

What? The question was odd. "Head first. All the equipment is up there."

"Right." Her hand went to her gun. "Duncan."

"Ambulance 1321." All three looked at the ambulance. 973. Duncan reached for his gun, but Gail stayed him with a hand. "Do I ... Am I backup?"

"Yes. And you are staying with Dr. Stewart and her nerds, who are going to go behind their van until I draw my gun. If any one of them gets hurt, I will take it out on you personally. If anyone hits the ground, cuff them." Without looking back, without drawing her gun, Gail walked up to the ambulance. The driver's door was open. "Hey, quick question," she said, smiling far too brightly.

Beside her, Duncan called in a request for backup, stumbling over an explanation that the ambulance on scene was not the one sent. "License plate," Holly whispered, and he quickly read that off.

"Doctor ma'am, you need to go back to your van," he said, carefully. Duncan was slow to learn, but he was also terrified of Gail.

Stepping back, slowly, Holly looked at the ambulance and saw Gail's hand wrap slowly around the handle of her gun. Oh dear god. She inched back to forensics. "Everyone needs to step behind the van," she said, as calmly as possible.

When Gail's very loud cop voice cut into the air, everyone moved. "Hands. On your head. Now!"

Holly couldn't help but watch as Gail, gun out, was shouting at the driver. She was a step away from the door, out of his arm's reach, and he lunged to close the door. Gail was faster, jamming her shoulder in and lashing out with her left hand. It was over in an instant. Gail threw the man twice her size out of the ambulance and onto the ground. Her partner did as he'd been told and grabbed the man and cuffed him. Holly knew it was all momentum and angles, but damn it was impressive.

Gail was in the ambulance, gun still out, before Holly could blink. "Don't even think about it. Hands up." The keys flew out of the van. "Open the back. Hands on your head. That's it. Step out easy..." The second fake EMT laboriously climbed out of the ambulance. "On your knees." He complied, and a moment later, Gail emerged from the back of the ambulance to cuff him.

It was amazing.

That night, after making sure Gail was physically fine, Holly intended to shower her with what she decided was 'appreciation sex.' After a while of kissing rather frantically on the bed, Gail trapped Holly in a hug, "Hey, baby, I'm not knocking the sex, but hang on a minute." She exhaled, catching her breath. "You okay?"

Holly put her head on Gail's chest. "I'm not freaking out," she promised. "I ... Wasn't scared at all. You had everything under control. It was..." Holly looked up. "You are a fucking bad ass, Gail Peck!"

"Oh. Yes." Gail looked like this was anything _but_ news to her.

Holly swatted Gail's arm. "Moron. I mean you were amazing. You _saw_ everything! You got Duncan to do the right things, which is a miracle, and you arrested those guys! It's crazy!" She squirmed until she could sit up on Gail's thighs. "My girlfriend is a hero."

"You're not scared because you _saw_ me be a cop?" Gail sounded incredulous.

"Well. Yes. No. I'm scared in a different way, I guess." Holly tried to take measure of her thoughts. "Parlay."

Gail screwed up her face. "Are we pirates?"

Right, she'd not used that with Gail before. "I'm going to think this out loud, okay, so don't freak out and climb up a tree."

Dryly, Gail pointed out the obvious. "You're sitting on my legs, Holly. No trees."

"Hush." Holly smiled and pushed her hair back. "Parlay means I get to talk without you judging me or interrupting. And you have to let me work it out, out loud, without getting mad." Gail quirked her eyebrows but nodded. "Okay. I was... I _am_ afraid of you getting hurt. I'm afraid of you ending up in the hospital or dying. You have an insanely dangerous job. But." Holly exhaled. "You are careful. You're meticulous. You think things through, you make plans, and you achieve goals. I've never seen anyone sort out things like that, especially crime like that. You saw what was wrong, you fixed it. It was amazing and smart and I'm not afraid of _you_ doing something stupid." She paused and added, "Now Duncan..."

"Gerald has the IQ of a turnip," grumbled Gail.

"That's unkind to turnips." They giggled. "Seeing you be a cop makes me less worried about you being a cop."

Gail rubbed her hands on Holly's thighs, looking thoughtful. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I get it." She smiled and reached up to grab Holly's shirt. "I am a fucking badass cop who is super smart, and you think it's sexy. Just wait'll I'm in Major Crimes."

Holly let herself be pulled onto Gail. "But I like how you look in your uniform," she faux pouted, moving her hands up Gail's shirt.

"I like you in your glasses," Gail noted, and took them off Holly's face. "But I like you _out_ of them too."

* * *

"There's a problem," Oliver said slowly. "You can't go."

"I failed?" Gail was horrified and angry. There was no way she possibly failed. She studied her _ass_ off. She'd scored her second highest personal score on the damn target shoot. She'd nailed the stupid skills assessment where she had to pretend the fake situation was real, and she did it without using her gun.

"No!" Oliver held up his hands. "Are you kidding? Darling, I watched your practical test. Everyone said you were amazing!"

Gail growled, "For a Peck, I bet." That caused Oliver to hesitate. "I'd change my damn name if that would do anything." According to her family, anything less than perfect was a failure.

"No, no. They ... You. Okay, don't hit me." He fidgeted with the paper on his desk. "They said you were better than the other Pecks and wondered if you guys have a mock up at home."

That was different. "Yes, Oliver." She kept her voice deadpan. "I built a smaller version in the bathroom." God, people were idiots. "So what's _actually_ wrong?"

"I'm not supposed to have this so you never saw it, alright?" He held out the paper. Pending review... What the hell? Gail's eyes went to the letterhead and she felt her blood pressure rise. From the desk of Peck. Her mother's desk. Her mother was calling for a review of personal skills. "Now, Gail, don't do something reckless." She didn't. She stared at the letter and re-read it again. "I already called her office and her secretary will get her to call me back-"

"Not until at least two. Probably later." It was one PM, on Wednesday. Elaine was in the staff meeting with the west side stations. She put the paper down on Oliver's desk. After the meetings, Elaine was going to have a late lunch at her desk and catch up, remembered Gail. She'd be in her office until a quarter after two, unless something came up. Then Elaine had meetings until four. "Thank you."

"Darling, I know you want this. You'll get it. Don't worry, I'm in your corner."

"It's fine, Oliver." She could feel her walls growing taller. But yelling at Oliver wouldn't help. Gail pushed her hair out of her face. "Can I go? Price is waiting for me."

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, fine, it'll get sorted out," she tried to put an acceptable smile on her face and walked out, forming her plan. She would start after shift.

* * *

There was a text from Oliver, which she hadn't been able to answer let alone read, and another from Gail (ditto), which really demonstrated how busy she was today. So when someone knocked on the door, Holly felt her snap should have been excused. "If you're here about the Crenshaw case, I am _still_ processing the bodies, and no, I cannot possibly make it go any faster."

The male voice replied, "I'm not here about a case."

That was weird enough that Holly looked up at the man. An officer. No, an Inspector. Her eyes drifted to his name tag. Peck. Oh shit. She looked up and saw a hauntingly familiar facial shape. Unlike Elaine, this man was entirely soft. Craggier, with beard and hair already gone to grey, she saw Gail at her tiredest in this man's face. That said, Holly hoped she'd never see Gail look as distant as her father looked now.

She cleared her voice. "Inspector Peck." Bill. William H. Peck. She knew his name. His middle name, even, was Harold.

"Dr. Stewart." Unlike Elaine, Bill wore his discomfort openly. He did not wish to be here and had no interest in befriending Holly or getting to know her. Holly had never seen anyone look that soft and that aloof before. "I'll make this brief. This Thursday is our normal family dinner. It would be ... good if you could perhaps persuade Gail to come." He paused. "With you."

Every time Holly thought she understood Peck drama they went and changed it. That was impressively awkward. "Uh huh, that's not... Why are you asking me this?" It was surprisingly hard not to call him 'sir' but Holly had no intention of deferring to this man. Not now.

"Because my daughter hasn't replied to my phone calls since she moved in with you." How he managed to make that sound like an insult, Holly had no idea. It was a skill Gail shared, turning the mundane into something bitchy, but never like this. Gail was crabby and snarky, but you got the impression she was entertained by everything. Her father looked like he quite honestly hated everyone.

But Gail had coached Holly on dealing with her parents, telling her to be firm and tell them she wasn't getting involved. Elaine was power hungry, Bill was angry at not living up to his ex-Peck-tations (sometimes called Peckspectations), and both should be avoided. Gail's advice, which Steve supported, was to let the Pecks be Pecks and not pick a fight.

Of course, Gail wasn't the only one who didn't follow orders well. "Then maybe you'd better hunt her down. I'm not your errand girl." It was possible that Gail would be elated at the comeback. Holly knew Gail wasn't talking to her parents at the moment, and said she wouldn't until they apologized and accepted her making her own life choices.

Inspector Peck huffed, much the same way his children did when they were frustrated and uncomfortable. "I apologize." He didn't sound sorry at all and Holly filed the tone away as matching the one Gail made when she wasn't sorry at all for calling people by insulting nicknames. "Can we talk?" He gestured at her office.

Holly frowned and did not remove her gloves. "This is where I work, Inspector. While you and your wife seem to be cavalier about blurring the lines, I am not. You can talk to your own daughter. I'll tell her you're looking for her, but if you can't tell, I'm busy."

The Inspector lingered a moment, and then nodded. "I see. Excuse me, Doctor."

After he left, and after she actually finished her work, Holly picked up her phone. The text from Oliver was a warning that Gail would be in a bad mood. The one from Gail was that she'd be home late. Holly hesitated and sent Gail a text.

_Everything okay? _

There was no reply right away but she knew Gail was on patrol today. That meant Gail's phone was often off or set to silent. Holly went back to her samples until the phone buzzed again.

_Peck stuff_

Oh. Good. Maybe she was talking to her father already and Holly could conveniently forget the conversation. She tapped out three words.

_I love you_

The reply was two words.

_That helps_

Holly smiled and went back to work. When she got home the garage was empty. True to her word, Gail didn't arrive home until almost two hours later. Holly had already made pasta and was contemplating the pasta sauce when Gail walked in from the garage.

"Perfect timing, honey. Alfredo or tomato?" When Gail explained her allergy only extended to raw tomatoes, Holly called it a sensitivity and quickly cut uncooked tomatoes from her repertoire. The one time she'd had a salad with raw tomatoes and kissed Gail, the rash had taken two days to stop itching and Gail had been exceptionally grumpy the whole time. But cooked tomatoes, in sauce, were generally safe.

"Alfredo," sighed Gail. Holly looked over and saw her girlfriend wearing a rundown expression. She fell onto the couch, leaving her work bag by the door.

Bad day. "How did it go with your father?"

Gail blinked. "Dad? I haven't talked to him in months... Actually I'm avoiding his judgmental homophobia." She looked nervous for a moment, "I swear I'm not up a tree with it, I'm just mad at him and I don't want to talk until I can figure out how to do it and not shout at him."

"Oh." Holly frowned. "He came by my lab."

And Gail's face tightened. "What did dear old Dad want?"

"Me to get you to come to dinner on Thursday." A pause. "Us."

Gail snorted and sunk into the couch, "Don't worry about it, girlfriend. That offer is about to be rescinded."

Holly frowned, but served up two plates of pasta. "Come here, eat, explain this to me."

Sluggishly, Gail rolled off the couch and sat at the island. They rarely ate at the table. "I aced the exam," she started, picking up her fork.

"That's great news!" Holly beamed at her girlfriend, knowing better than anyone how hard Gail had worked. Hours of running, studying, target practice, reading, and exercising. Once Gail had explained there was a practical part to the exam, Holly had understood the shift in exercise priority. There could be no screw ups, Gail insisted, if she was going to do this. It had to be done right, it had to be done cleanly, and above all, publicly. So why was Gail looking so pained. "Not great?"

"My _mother_ spiked me."

Cold water splashed over the room. "Sorry, she what?"

Gail took a bite, swallowed, and said, "Approval pending review. From the desk of Staff Superintendent Elaine Peck." She resumed eating, as if this horrifying fact had been expected.

"She can do that?"

"Apparently so." Gail paused and tapped Holly's plate with her fork. "Hey. Eat. I'm even eating your zucchini things." She stole one off Holly's plate for good measure.

Eating gave her time to think about the situation. Gail's father wanted Gail (and Holly) to come to the Peck Monthly dinner. Both Peck siblings had skipped the last one, with Gail simply telling her mother she wasn't going and taking Holly on a double date with Steve and Traci instead. That had been surprisingly fun. There was no talk about parents, though the Pecks had used ASL at the table a couple times until Holly threatened to withhold sex.

One could assume then that Inspector Dad Peck wanted Gail to come over in order to discuss things. And one could also assume that Gail had something happen in-between the time her father talked to Holly and the time she came home that would make that unnecessary. That would mean Gail talked to her mother. Probably in person. And probably about the whole turfing of Gail's transfer.

"What did you say to your mother?"

"Nothing, I went to IA," Gail said calmly.

Internal Affairs. Holly dropped her fork. "You did _what_?"

"I talked to Frank first." Gail's old sergeant had been transferred and found a home in Major Crimes, which Gail had noted could only help her. He knew what kind of cop and person she was. "He and I talked to his Inspector and they said there wasn't anything they could do." She ate more pasta, "Sounded familiar, right?"

"Disturbingly."

"Well. Then I called in some favors, made sure this was _just_ Mother, and filed a complaint with IA that she was impeding my career needlessly and with unfounded allegations as to my abilities." With that, Gail finished her pasta.

"Jesus," whispered Holly. "Are you insane? You just sic'd IA on your own mother!"

"Just cause." Gail was insane. Insane and calm. "I should probably warn Steve..." She pulled her phone out and started texting.

Holly gibbered. She actually exploded with nonexistent words. "Gail!"

Looking up from her phone, Gail frowned, "I know what I did, Holly. Either she gets suspended or I do." The phone went down onto the counter and Gail sighed, "I did think about this. All day. They weren't going to tell me about it till Friday. Frank slipped Oliver the note, so ... I got a jump on it. It's going to be fine."

There was no universe where a daughter essentially suing her mother was fine. Holly wanted to scream. "How is this fine? What if they fire you?"

Her phone buzzed and Gail glanced at it briefly. "I found out why Social Services watched the Perik interview," she said flatly.

Holly felt herself pale. No. Screwing up her face in a very Gail expression of annoyance, Holly said two words. "Your mother?"

Her girlfriend confirmed Holly's fears, "Apparently she said I'd be unfit due to trauma. Spiked that too."

Holly blurted, "Why the hell would she do that?"

Gail looked beyond sad and torn about what she was about to say, "It gets worse." When Holly was unable to speak, Gail went on looking at the table and Holly knew this was about to be way worse. "She turfed your Visa, in part because you don't want kids and she thought you'd stop me. Having a kid alone would throw off her master plan. When that didn't stop me, and I guess when we didn't get back together right away, she pushed the trauma angle."

Rage. This was what rage felt like. Her hands, her whole body, was shaking. "She had my Visa pulled... How-" that someone would go this far to force her daughter to her own path was nearly incomprehensible to Holly. But now little conversations made more sense. "How long have you known?"

"I suspected when she waylaid you," confessed Gail. "She dropped hints when I told her I was moving in, but I couldn't be sure until I talked to IA."

So Gail kept this a secret from before they'd moved in together. "I don't know who I'm more pissed at, Gail," whispered Holly, closing her eyes. She was shaking. How was Gail not shaking, or raging?

"Sorry." And Gail actually did sound sorry. "I should have talked to you. I just— I had this moment, this window where I could get in front of her stupid…"

"Machinations," offered Holly, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

"That," agreed Gail. "I should have told you about the Visa thing when I suspected it."

"I think I might punch your mother if I saw her."

"Don't hold off on my account." Gail sighed. "I don't know why I'm _not_ mad at my mother, to be honest." When Holly didn't say anything, Gail went on. "I should be mad at her, but I'm not. I'm just ... I'm sad, Holly." And Gail sounded intensely depressed.

Opening her eyes, Holly saw Gail was silently crying. It was a strange ability Gail had, the silent cry. The first time it had happened was at a crime scene where a police officer Gail knew had died. Her voice had been perfectly normal, but Holly saw the tears pouring down her face. They hadn't even been dating then and had just been at the batting cages level of a relationship.

Since then, Gail had cried a few more times. The only time it had been audible was the time in the living room when the panic attack swallowed her whole. Even then, it was remarkably quiet for someone wracked with sobs. Most of Gail's freak outs were quiet. Even the nightmares were, generally, quiet. Gail had explained the one in Holly's guest room was because it was a strange place, combined with the Oxy. Waking up fuzzy headed, in the dark, in a strange room was synergistic.

It hurt Holly to think about, because she made a logical inference. Her girlfriend had never once felt safe enough to express emotion. What the hell had happened to Elaine Peck? Or Bill Peck? Gail smiled softly at Holly and touched her hand. "I know what you're thinking, Doctor."

"Oh?" Holly bit her lip.

"If I'm this repressed, what's wrong with my parents."

Holly sighed and squeezed Gail's hand. "How do you do that? The mind reading and memorizing what I say is creepy."

"I can only read your mind." She lifted Holly's hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly. "And I don't know why she's like this. But she's always been power hungry."

"Power _mad_," muttered Holly and she slid off her stool to hug Gail. "What she did was illegal as hell." Which explained why Gail took it to IA. It was the only way.

After a moment, Gail coughed. "Baby, my face is in your boobs."

Pursing her lips, Holly let go. "This better be the only time you say that like its a bad thing."

"Yes, ma'am." Gail kept her hands on Holly's hips. "This is gonna suck, you know."

"I know."

"You may get pulled in..."

"Honey, your _father_ already showed up at my lab." She kissed Gail's forehead. "Jesus, your mother killed a job for me already!" Holly closed her eyes and put her cheek to Gail's head, finding her words. "I actually thought about all this before we got back together. The way I see it, Toronto can't function without me but if they screw with you, we can move to Montréal, or Vancouver. Or ... Calgary!" Babbling. She was babbling again.

"If you're looking for the most murders, it's Winnipeg."

Holly paused and opened her eyes, "Winnipeg?"

"Canada's murder _and_ violent crime capital. Montréal is good, though. More like Toronto and Steve's French sucks so we can make fun of him a lot."

"You," smiled Holly, "Are an impressive fountain of police knowledge." Gail returned the smile and Holly cupped her face with her hands. "We will make it through this. But." Gail arched her eyebrows. "Next time you decide to do something like this, please talk to me first."

She leaned in and kissed Gail softly. "I promise," whispered Gail, her hands tightening on Holly's hips. They kissed again, a little deeper. "Just one thing." Holly made a questioning noise before kissing Gail again. "Are you going to finish your pasta?"


	32. Ex-Peck-tations

**Chapter 3****2: Ex-Peck-tations**

_Author's Note: When things go to the line, you find out who was on your side all along. Gail told Gerald people liked her better than him because she did her job well. Gail was not wrong. By the way... does anyone wonder how Elaine got that way?  
_

_Guests: Some of you asked awesome questions, but if I reply publicly, it would be a spoiler. To one of you, no. To the other, yes. And both are important plot points._

* * *

Gail had been wrong about her _or_ her mother being suspended. Both Peck women were suspended, with pay, pending allegations. Gail was cleared first but required to stay on desk duty. Her mother was not allowed to return to work, taking a forced vacation, and Gail was permitted to work the streets again though not as a T.O. which was fine. With her future in mind, she'd planned to take a break from that.

The silence from her family was deafening. Only Steve would talk to her at first. Surprisingly, her godfather had asked to come over and meet Holly, and had been nice about everything. He apologized for her parents, which Gail told him not to do. They were adults. Stupid adults. Al thanked her for helping with Duncan, which Gail accepted. Then he apologized to Holly for the impending storm. The Peck-Storm, as Gail put it, had been large and loud, but not many drops landed anywhere near Holly. Even Gail was at a loss as to why that was the case, but suggested they take advantage of it.

The division was a mess. No one knew what to say to Gail, or to Holly, and most people just avoided them or pretended they knew nothing. As more information trickled out, however, Gail found herself the unwilling recipient of apologies. So many people had just assumed she'd ridden on Peck coattails, the truth of her situation, that five years had been 100% Gail, won her friends.

She didn't really like it but she accepted it for what it was. They needed a Peck hero and it was her. Her mother had not been loved, which Gail knew, but it was a shock to find out that _she_ was appreciated. Liked, even. That was decidedly less fun, as Gail didn't like people well enough to want to socialize.

Finally though, it was settled. Surprisingly quietly, the war just stopped. Elaine stepped down as Staff Superintendent. It was a demotion, everyone knew it, but to the news it was an inspiring move to let fresh, young, blood take over the duties. To have the person in charge of ethics and professionalism investigated for meddling with her own daughter's career as well as the international scandal of Holly's Visa would have been a bloodbath, and hurt the entirety of police in Toronto.

Of course, so would have having her daughter be fired. And while everyone acted like it was all over, Gail knew there was one fight left. She didn't look forward to SIU poking the bear again but this time she knew it was fine for her. Gail took it in stride, as well as the news that she'd have to wait at least three months to start with Major Crimes as a uniformed assignee. It wasn't quite what she'd wanted but it was better than the alternatives. And no more Peck dinners.

Oliver had been impressed at her maturity. "I thought you were going to shoot your own mother," he admitted over an illicit lamb schwarma lunch. Celery had been on his case about red meat and enlisted Gail's help. In response, Gail continued to feed Oliver real food. And candy.

"Can you imagine the paperwork?" Gail smirked.

"All I'm saying, darling, is I'm proud of you." When Gail eyed him skeptically, he shrugged. "You did it right. You did it smart. And it's okay."

Gail sighed and swirled a fry in the ketchup aioli sauce. "I thought everyone would take her side, you know."

"Not a chance. Not Fifteen." He smiled at her and stole a fry. "You, Gail Peck, are awesome."

"You, Oliver Shaw, are a fry thief!"

But he was also right.

Steve was elated on many levels too. "Gail," he cheerfully bounded up to her a week later. "Do you know what today is, my most dearest sister in the universe?"

"Thursday?" She slung her bag onto her shoulder, walking out of the changing room with Andy. Sam was out of town for most of the week and Gail had felt a small amount of sympathy for the chronically lovelorn McNally. A quick check with Holly and a legit girls night was on.

"Third Thursday of the month."

They shared a look and laughed. "Steven Peck, I am fairly confident that I will never be invited to another family dinner again. _You_ on the other hand, have the possibility of being a productive breeder."

"Not gonna happen. Least wanted number two pointed out having Dad in the same building might be construed as mommy trying to pressure us through him. He's over in 27 now. Ba-bam! Captain of the Universe delivers!"

Gail smirked, "If you can get Dad investigated, I'm sure you'll win the top spot, brother of mine." Andy looked worried. "Don't worry, McNally, this is normal for us."

"I should go," Andy started and Gail looped her arm through her friend's.

"Absolutely not. You, missy, are putting your shit in my car and we are going to have drinks and then you're spending the night in my guest room." She wiggled her fingers at Steve and hauled Andy off.

When Holly got home, Gail and Andy were tipsy, but laughing. Gail hadn't been drunk in a rather long time and found she didn't miss it. Two drinks was her limit, depending on the drink, and if everyone wanted to blame it on Holly and not Gail growing up, well, that was okay.

Holly had a sour look on her face, alas, and both Andy and Gail noticed. "How quiet is the guest room?" Andy's voice was low.

"If we start shouting, you'll hear it," sighed Gail, and she traipsed upstairs to check on her girlfriend. "Holly?"

"I'm fine," replied Holly from the bathroom. "I'll be down in a minute."

Gail hesitated and listened to the noises. Crying. "I'm coming in."

The door opened and a frustrated Holly scowled. "Seriously Gail, what if I was on the toilet?" She was sitting on the edge of the tub, having been crying into a towel.

"News flash, I've seen you pee before." The scowl stayed in place. "I'm sure Andy will have no problem going to read in the guest room, baby. Or you can come downstairs and pick a movie for us to watch." She reached out and brushed the back of her hand on Holly's cheek. "Or you can come talk to us or stay here and talk to me."

Holly looked down, "Work sucks." She did not want to talk.

"Bad case?"

But Holly shook her head. "Peck Storm." Gail winced and tentatively reached over to Holly, who fell into her arms. Okay. Good. "I have to talk to SIU."

"Yeah, I kinda expected that." In fact she'd warned Holly about the likelihood.

"I know, but I was hoping." Holly sighed.

"It's okay, Holly. Just tell them the truth."

Holly sighed again and pressed her face into Gail's shoulder. "Can I sit on the couch with you?"

Gail smiled, "Baby, this is our home. If you want to sit on the couch naked and eat ice cream, Andy will just have to cope."

While they did sit on the couch, they ate popcorn and were fully clothed.

* * *

She had known, they had both known, that Holly was going to be called in about the Peck Storm. Neither had been looking forward to it but Holly was thankful they called her in first. The waiting had made her start eating antacids like candy. Gail had explained that since, technically, Holly was a civilian, SIU was going to be involved and the odds were that they all had worked with a Peck at least once.

Even though IA had cleared Gail and soft-suspended Elaine, the investigation went right to hell because of Sophie and Holly. Gail had been very apologetic, to the point of not sounding like Gail at all. She swore she never meant to hurt Holly with this and would move anywhere if they had to. With more bravado than she felt, Holly told Gail it would be fine.

She checked her clothes one last time before knocking on the office door in her own building. Gail warned her that SIU didn't have their own offices and liked you to feel at home. She'd also explained that her own last experience with SIU ended with her being suspended and nearly losing her badge for improperly searching someone, resulting in a death.

Holly didn't find it comforting.

"Come in." The woman sat at the desk as if it was her own and not Holly's boss's.

"I'm Dr. Stewart," offered Holly, and found herself gestured to sit in the chair.

"Under most other circumstances, I would say it's a pleasure." The woman did not seem to be lying, "I'm Sarah Mills." She looked at the papers and frowned a little. "You're living with Officer Peck?"

Holly swallowed and nodded. "Yes."

Sarah sighed, "Please tell her I say hello."

"Uh, sure," agreed Holly, highly confused.

Sarah flipped on her camera, focusing it on Holly. "This is Sarah Mills, investigating allegations of misconduct and abuse of power of Staff- excuse me, of Superintendent Elaine Marie Peck. Please state your full name and profession for the record."

"Dr. Holly Stewart." She paused. "I don't have a middle name. I'm a senior forensic pathologist for the Toronto Police Department."

Sarah smiled thinly. "Dr. Stewart, last April you put in notice to leave this job. Is that correct?"

"Yes," confirmed Holly. There was silence so she elaborated. "I had a job offer to be a assistant chief pathologist in San Francisco, which never happens to someone my age, so I took the job." She bit her lip, realizing she was rambling. Gail warned her not to do that.

"You don't have to be afraid, Dr. Stewart," Sarah said, calmly. "You're not being investigated, you're just a witness."

But Gail _was_ being investigated. As was her mother. "I'm sorry," Holly tried not to laugh nervously. "I'm just... Not used to this."

"Count yourself lucky." The dry humor made Holly feel better. This woman was like the SIU version of Gail. Or maybe what Gail wanted to be on some level. "You took the job in San Francisco in April but it was rescinded. Can you explain what happened?"

Holly nodded. "They called me a week after I took the job, and told me there was a hang up with my Visa application. I thought it was just something silly, paperwork with a crossed 'i' or something. Dotted 't' you know? We both thought it would be fine and went on with the whole process. But then the consulate called and said my application was rejected. I didn't understand why, since I haven't committed any crimes. I never even shoplifted." It was still frustrating.

"Did you find out why?"

"Labor certification." Holly had felt it was bullshit at the time, since she had a very specialized job. But all her appeals and arguments had been shot down.

They discussed the semantics of that, briefly, and Sarah took notes. "In the investigation regarding Superintendent Peck, it came to light that she used her ties with a resource in immigration to raise concerns to your viability." Holly winced. "You're aware of this?"

Holly nodded. Gail had put it more baldly, stating her mother asked a family friend to do a deep background check on Holly, which had sent up red flags. When the US had asked for information, Canada simply denied access to some of the records and that scared them off. "Yes, Gail- Officer Peck told me. She asked."

With that, Sarah moved on to ask about their relationship. She determined Holly had wanted Gail to move with her, to get away from the Pecks. They talked about how much Holly knew about the IA case. While Holly had been at many a trial, this was the first time she'd been nervous about anything work related.

But Sarah made it pretty easy, as much as it could be, to talk about the very odd situation. Had Holly felt pressured by Pecks other than Elaine? When Holly said yes, she'd had to run down the list, which included Gail's father and a few cousins. Who had been more on her side? Gail had, of course, and so had Steve, but so had the chief of police. That made Sarah smirk. The other aspects of the case were just facts Holly had known. Sarah had no new revelations, just confirmation as to what Gail had suspected and theorized.

When it was over, Sarah turned off the video and studied Holly thoughtfully. "This is the first time I've had to investigate a pathologist," she mused. "Police officers are usually more defensive."

"Gail prepped me." She still wasn't sure exactly how good this was. How well it went was a mystery to Holly.

"She's grown a great deal in two years," smiled Sarah. "Did she tell you I was her investigator?" When Holly's eyes widened, the smile grew. "But you know the case?" That Holly nodded at, dumbfounded. "I asked to interview you. I thought, since I knew Gail and used to work with her mother, I'd know if you were..." Sarah pursed her lips. "I worried you were Elaine's plant. Sabotage. Make sure Gail did what she wanted."

"Never," snapped Holly. Her constant anger at Elaine surprised her. The woman nearly ruined her career and while she was grateful to have Gail back, it had come at a price for both of them.

Sarah closed her notebook. "So I see. Thank you, Dr. Stewart."

Letting herself out, Holly exhaled so hard she shuddered. She pulled her phone out and smiled, seeing Gail had texted her an 'I love you' at some point. She tapped a reply.

_I survived._

_I knew you would. I'm on patrol._

_Fun. I'm going to try and actually get work done._

_I'll try find you a dead body. Chloe okay for you?_

Holly laughed, feeling tension ebb from her body, and pulled on her lab coat.

* * *

Eight year olds didn't really understand life. "You promised!"

"I know I did, but I have to go to the hearing."

"But you _promised_ to take me to the game!"

Gail sighed and squatted by Sophie. "Sophie, I'm really sorry. They changed the date and I have to go."

"So make them change it back!"

"I can't. We can go to another game-"

"There won't _be_ another game! This is the only time they play all year, and it's the _last_ game! I hate you!" And Sophie sprinted up the stairs to her room, slamming the door.

That was a first for Gail and she was stunned. "She's eight, Gail, it's okay." Noelle shook her head at the mess. "She'll get over it and feel bad later."

"I still feel like an ass," grumbled Gail and she stood up.

"For what? Having to sort out your mother's insanity? I can't believe it's going to trial."

"It's all going to be internal." The volume of people who had to recuse themselves from the investigation and deliberation was insanely high. Gail was shocked they had enough people to convene an internal tribunal.

Noelle touched Gail's shoulder. "I'll talk to her."

That actually hurt. Gail kept her face together, but those four words pummeled her hard. She had worked so hard to keep Sophie in her life, she'd forgotten that she'd given the girl a family with parents who cared about her, cared for her. Loved her. And now Gail wasn't needed the same way anymore.

"Thanks," she nodded at Noelle, and went to her car.

One of the few wise things her mother had ever told her was that she shouldn't look back on her life in 30 years and think that she hadn't done enough. Of course, Elaine was talking about her career, but Gail thought about it with Holly and with Sophie. _Would_ she look back in another 29 years to think she should have had children? That Holly wasn't enough?

Holly did not want children now, possibly ever. She'd made that plain. And Gail chose Holly. Or more, she fell back into Holly, just as she'd fallen into her orbit before. Falling for Holly was an accident. It changed her life and her very being. It changed how she saw the world and opened it up for things she never thought could be. Even when she thought she'd lost Holly, she didn't stop changing and growing. It was late, but Gail finally understood what everyone else was about when it came to liking people.

But was that enough? And was it fair that she hadn't chosen this? They'd fallen together because of Gail's mother's idiocy. Her delusional ideas of grandeur and misguided machinations ruined their original plans and yet...

Gail pulled into the garage. Her garage. Their garage. Once they planned for Gail to move in, Holly had sorted through miles of sports junk to make actual room. Anything Holly still played stayed, but the skis and kayak went. The house itself had pictures of both of them, alone and together. The office had been repainted and reorganized to make room for Gail's gun collection, locked safely away. The downstairs had been moved around, bringing the TV out of the back room and making that an actual guest room, to keep people away from the guns. The living room and dining room were so spacious, it hardly mattered. Gail's video games were organized onto shelves, while her DVDs sorted with Holly's; Gail had the original Star Wars and the remastered, Holly the HD, and they kept all three sets.

But. But. Gail put her head on the steering wheel and sighed. Why was life so complicated? Was there even a right or wrong choice to be made here? She wanted to be with Holly, she knew that beyond a doubt. She wanted this life with her, and a career, and there would be sacrifices. If that meant a choice between no children or raising children like her parents had done, then so be it. There would be no children. She wanted to walk to her future with Holly beside her.

The darkness suddenly lifted, literally, when the garage door went back up and Holly pulled in. Gail waved a hand, but kept her head on the steering wheel.

Holly put her bag inside the house and then opened the passenger door to sit with Gail, not even asking what was wrong. Turning to look at Holly, Gail smiled. "I love you," she told her girlfriend.

"I love you too." When Gail held a hand out, Holly took it and caressed Gail's knuckles with her thumb. And she did not ask what happened.

So Gail told her about Sophie and how it felt to have been replaced. "It's right next to when you said you were seeing someone else," sighed Gail. "Only this is a good thing for her."

Holly's hand remained in hers, and the woman looked thoughtful. "But you're thinking of maybes and being replaced."

"I was never going to be her mom."

"And neither is Noelle, honey."

Gail sighed. "I know." She squeezed Holly's fingers. "I want to be here forever." And the truth hit her. _This_ was the right choice, the right decision. To be with Holly was right for Gail and she would regret nothing in 30 or 50 years.

"In the garage?" Holly looked around dubiously and Gail smiled.

"Nerd. I want to be here, with you, forever. If you get a job in Winnipeg or Montréal or Budapest, I want to be with you."

Holly smiled that crooked grin of hers. "Is this a Greys Anatomy 'pick me' moment?"

"Only if you're about to tell me you have a secret wife."

"Hm. No." Holly brought Gail's hand to her lips and kissed them. "No trees, huh?"

Gail shook her head. "I want to build a treehouse, so we can hide up there from everyone forever." She finally lifted her head up and leaned across the gear shift to kiss Holly.

"I'll bring a rope ladder," smiled Holly.

* * *

"I don't get how resigning fixes everything. Or anything."

"Early retirement in a year. And it doesn't," replied Steve. "It doesn't even mean a damn thing, but it gets it away."

Holly grumbled and tasted the frosting. It needed more tequila. "And that's it? She retires or resigns or whatever and I let it go and it's over?"

"Pretty much."

"I hate it."

The snort from the man in her kitchen showed he shared her feelings on the matter. "Holly, I know it's crazy and weird, but ... What else can we do? Sue for damages? Mom's losing _everything_. Me, Gail, her career." He paused, seeming to know something more but leaving it out. "She'll never get to know you or Traci, and if any of us have kids, she won't get them either."

"I guess," sighed Holly. "She could have ruined my life. Gail could have been fired."

"Never gonna happen. Too many people like the cop Gail's becoming." He was so firm about it, it was startling.

Holly looked at the cake batter Steve was working on and stuck a finger in. "Salt, Steve. It needs a tablespoon."

"Crap, thanks." He carefully added the amount, looking as concerned as Gail did when trying some thing new. "Thanks for letting me do this here. I want to surprise Traci."

It was Traci's thirty-second birthday. Steve, following the daunting move by his kid sister to move in with her girlfriend, had begun to broach the topic with his slightly more reserved one. Seeing as the last man Traci lived with had died saving Gail, Holly found it downright weird that she was even considering it with Steve. But love was love, she admitted, and when Steve enlisted her help to make lollipop cakes to spell out 'move in with me' she'd found it romantic.

Neither of them had told Gail, who was working anyway. Holly had felt Gail had enough on her plate and would just grumble about a party. "When's Gail due back? I don't want her to drink the frosting."

"She left ten minutes before you got here. Why aren't we doing this at your place?"

"Because Traci has a key, and she'd think something was up if I asked her not to come over. It was you or Andy for baking, and Andy cooks worse than Gail does."

It wasn't the first time she'd heard one of their friends tease Gail about drinking or not being a decent cook. And maybe it was because of the crap with Elaine, but Holly no longer felt like the proud secret keeper of Gail's amazing skills. She was annoyed. "Steve," growled Holly. "What the hell?"

The man startled and looked at Holly, confused. "What?"

"Gail _can_ cook. She doesn't get wasted. Why does everyone treat her like she's some irresponsible child?"

Steve put the bowl down and was honestly surprised. "I don't know why _they_ do it..." His face tightened and he seemed to skip over an explanation. "Gail scared our parents, I picked up on that."

"What? With all this? Come _on_, Steve. They started this shit!"

"No, when she was in kindergarten. I don't know what happened, but ... Before then, Mom doted on Gail. She was this perfect kid who never did anything wrong. And it was cool to me. I had this awesome kid sister and she and I were gonna be champions of the universe." He hesitated, "I really remember this … I came home from school and they were sitting around the table looking all serious. Dad looked scared. Actually _scared_. So I figured it was a case. That happened sometimes. When I went to find Gail, she was hiding in my room and told me that Mom didn't talk to her after picking her up from school."

When Steve paused, Holly got out bottles of water. "What had she done?"

"I don't know. I just remember that was when Mom stepped back. She stopped being so fawning over Gail. It was like something freaked her out. And I knew it wasn't the cat, which was my fault too. We never told them. But something _really_ freaked them out. And ... When your parents are distant, you kind of are too. And I stopped seeing what Gail did." He sighed. "So ... All I see is Gail at a bar, or avoiding me at work. And all I hear is she can't cook from Nick, though I know I should ignore him." Steve looked at Holly seriously. "You're the only person who gets the Gail I remember."

Holly frowned. That didn't make much sense. She knew about the cat thing, of course. Gail told her pretty much any secret these days, saying they were Holly's for the taking. And this was nothing Gail had mentioned so she likely didn't remember it herself. "She hasn't gotten _drunk_ since she cut off all her hair," Holly pointed out.

"Do you know why?"

"Not really. She just said she didn't want not be a part time binge drinker anymore."

"And ... My sister can cook?"

"Jesus, Steve, did you know she can speak eight languages?" Probably nine, now. Holly had heard Gail asking Chloe about Portuguese recently at the Penny. "She can memorize anything she hears, which is _really_ annoying sometimes. She's a fucking genius. And she's funny and sweet. How the hell do you never see it?"

Steve smiled tiredly. "She won't show me. Once mom stopped fawning, she shut me out too. Became that bitchy ice queen."

Truthfully, Gail was still pretty snide and brittle. But Holly saw the shield for what it was and, being someone let in behind it, found it charming. She liked prickly people, though. "Why does Nick think she's not girlfriend material?"

"Jesus, Nicholas." Steve rolled his eyes. "Because she's cold."

More than once, Gail had said as much to Holly. She was cold. Unfeeling. "No she's not," marveled Holly. How did they not see?

"Right, not to you. Or kids."

"Or Oliver, or Andy or Dov or any of them. She just ... Doesn't say what she feels."

"Nick can't read that." Steve tilted his head and studied Holly's face. "You can."

This time Holly looked away. Damn it, detectives were smart. "I like solving puzzles," she muttered. And Steve didn't press.

"I like you, Holly," he grinned, and held out a drop of batter on a spoon. "Help me with this, please."

It was hard to turn Pecks down. At least, these two Pecks. Holly sighed and took the batter. "Baking soda?" She rolled her eyes when he looked confused.

* * *

_Steve and Traci bonded over the lollipop cupcakes at Frank and Noelle__'__s wedding, you see__…_ _It makes sense!_


	33. When Peck Comes to Shove

**Chapter 3****3: When Peck Comes to Shove**

_Author's Note: Just because it's over doesn't mean it's all over._

* * *

In light of everything that happened in the United States recently, Inspector Jarvis insisted they have an open house at Fifteen Division. Gail though it was stupid and said as much all week long. But as the day arrived, she was not surprised to find herself assigned to meet and greet the kids that afternoon.

She could handle the kids at least and most of them just wanted their prints taken or fake mug shots. That was, at least, entertaining, even if it meant hanging with Chloe all day. Anything was better than the last day of her stupid IA case. The tension from sitting in a room with her parents and lawyers for ten hours had been so stressful, Holly had dragged Gail to a spa for a professional massage.

The last day of the case had been the most painful. Her father hadn't even looked at her while her mother actually looked apologetic. The three of them, in their best uniforms, sat in a room listening to an inspector review everything, clarify the arguments, and finally announce that Officer Peck's claims were upheld. Her mother had crossed a line and all that was left was to determine punishments.

Her mother changed the game in that moment, saying she'd retire. It was better for the division and the department if she retired, less of a media shit storm in a city struggling with a mayor who made international news. Part of Gail wanted to see her taken down, ripped apart and stripped of rank and power. The other part knew her mother wanted to have Uncle Al's job. And that would never happen now, no matter what.

Gail finally looked at her mother, not the Staff Superintendent, and saw the agony and pain in her eyes. Her mother lost it all. Everything. The amount of meddling she'd done, not just for Gail but Steve and other Pecks, would have retributions for years. Other relatives would find their careers stalled. Gail would be a Peck pariah along with her mother. And she nodded. She took the deal. Let her mother step away with some grace, some dignity, and let Gail be the better man.

It was downright depressing.

It became much better when the young boy's voice cut through the crowd. "Aunt Gail!"

"Hey, Leo," replied Gail, not really smiling but still happy to see him. "Need to update your credentials of evil?"

"Yeah, and Sophie needs hers!"

There was a practical aspect to the finger printing, Gail had to admit. With their parents permissions, all the children were entered in a database in case they ever went missing. While Gail had to explain that this was not related to the MasoniCHIP program run by the Free Masons more times than she wanted too, most of the parents were alright with the process.

Gail tilted her head as Leo dragged Sophie into the room, the girl clearly didn't want to be there. "So what'd they get you for, Sophie?" She gave the girl her toothiest smile, and got an awkward one in return.

"Bein' mean," muttered Sophie, kicking the ground.

Behind Gail, Chloe laughed. "If that was a crime, Officer Peck would be behind bars forever."

"Bite me, Officer Price," replied Gail and the gathered children laughed. "Okay, who's next?"

There were a few kids in the room and they ran them all first before Leo and Sophie, and Leo shoved her up first. Chloe took the fingerprints, explaining they rarely used actual ink anymore, and showed Sophie her prints, including a scar that ran across her right ring finger. That brightened her mood up a bit until she faced Gail for her mug shot. "Okay, no smiling. Look mean," instructed Chloe, chipper.

Sophie did not smile. "I'm still mad," she told Gail, looking embarrassed but also firm.

Catching Chloe's eyes, Gail jerked her chin. "Você está bem?" Of course Chloe would do that. Gail's understanding of Portuguese was better than her speaking.

"Yeah," confirmed Gail and she took Sophie's photo. It made an adorable grumpy mug shot. "Okay, Criminal Sophie, come here." Gail toed the stool over and Sophie climbed up to look at her photo choices.

"I don't care," she muttered. "What'd Chloe say?"

"She asked if I was okay. In Portuguese."

Sophie blinked and looked at Gail, "You speak French."

"I speak lots of languages," Gail noted, picking her favorite shot and printing up three copies. "You ever going to forgive me?"

"Yeah," muttered Sophie, looking away. That was promising. "Noelle said that being a cop meant sometimes you had to do stuff you didn't want to do. Sometimes she or Frank were gonna have to work and not see me even when they promised to. And … it wasn't fair to be mad at you about it." Deciding that explaining the inherent unfairness of life to an eight year-old wasn't a great idea tonight, Gail nodded. "But … she didn't say what you were doing."

Gail sighed and sat down on a stool beside Sophie. "Normally," she said slowly, "I'm out there. In a car, driving around, fighting crime. But for a while I've had to be in here, working in the station the whole time."

Leo spoke up, "That sounds mega boring."

"It's ultra boring," agreed Gail.

"How come?" Sophie looked confused. "How come you had to stay here the whole time?"

"Because I was suspended." She paused. "Do you guys know what that means?"

Nodding, Leo explained, "It means you're in trouble for doing something really wrong and can't go to school and your mom grounds you." Well aware that Leo had been suspended after getting into a fight with a classmate over a video game, Gail smiled and nodded. "Who'd you hit?"

"I didn't hit anyone," she said sternly. "Someone was bullying me and I told on her." That was the simplest way to explain it, but the look on Sophie and Leo's faces was hilarious. The concept that even grownups got bullied and had to appeal to other grownups had, clearly, never crossed their minds as remotely possible.

Sophie blinked a lot. "You told?"

That aspect of childhood, tattle-telling, was one Gail had never really subscribed to. "I did. Because she wouldn't stop when I asked. I went and found someone who could help, and they did. But since we're both cops, they had to suspend us both until they could figure out if I was lying."

"Another cop was being mean?" Leo was aghast, but Sophie narrowed her eyes. "That isn't fair they suspended both of you. What happened?"

Children were artless. They didn't always connect the people with the story, even when the people were telling the story. "I got back to work, and she quit her job. But we had to talk to a _lot_ of people before that and I missed the game with Sophie because we were talking all day. I didn't get home until real late."

Leo looked impressed. "Uncle Steve said you were going to be a detective soon." When Gail nodded, he asked, "You gonna work with my mom?"

"No, Traci's a homicide detective. I want to work with on big cases."

"Like Frank?" asked Sophie carefully.

"Yep, just like Frank."

When the afternoon was finally done, Gail was not surprised that Holly was waiting for her, though the appearance of her brother was odd. He and Holly had been very friendly since she'd helped him ask Traci to move in with him, though that had yet to happen. The moving. Traci was arguing that neither of their apartments was big enough for three, which was bringing up other arguments. "Hey, Gail," Steve looked stiff. "Can I steal you before you guys go?"

"Make it fast, brother mine," she smiled and allowed him to lead her towards the bullpen.

"I need a favor," he said quietly, going right to his desk. "You're still keeping eyes on weird stuff with ambulances, right?"

"Oh god, you're not going to give me crap too, are you?" Everyone, from Oliver and Noelle to Traci and Andy thought she was a little daft about the whole obsession with weird EMT things. It was at the point where she didn't tell anyone about it, not even Holly, who was the most accepting.

"No." There was something in Steve's voice that surprised her and Gail regarded her brother carefully. "Can you keep an eye on someone for me?" He held out a folder and Gail flipped it open, looking at the face and name. Pale, though not as pale as the Pecks, with dusty brown hair that looked like he didn't eat enough vegetables. Drug user, probably. Baines, Timothy. A nurse. "I'm working on flipping him but since you're already showing up around there, I was hoping you could keep tabs on him. In case he spooks."

Gail scanned the notes. "Smuggling for Two Lakes? When did they expand?" She paused and looked up at her brother, clues sliding into place. "Shit." Steve nodded at her. "Coincidence?"

And her brother looked away. "No. I was thinking about what you said and something Holly told me. You're smart, Gail. I should have listened to you before. I think you're on to something."

Part of Gail wanted to cheer. Finally someone was listening. The other part was annoyed that Steve would probably be getting the credit for the case. Telling herself to shut up because she was a cop and that was what mattered, she just nodded. "Okay," she said slowly.

"I'm going to ask Oliver to borrow you for this." When she looked up at him, surprised, he smiled. "I can't just say 'gimme Gail' without it looking like favoritism. And after that shit with Herr Peck…" They both grimaced. "Memorize it, will you?"

"Sure, no problem," Gail replied absently and read through the short folder. She couldn't make sense of Steve's weird look as they walked back to Holly, but accepted his one-armed hug before she took Holly's hand to leave.

"What was that about?" asked Holly, leaning in to bump shoulders with Gail.

Gail smiled, falling in to the comfortable ease of being with her girlfriend. "The hug or the talk?"

"The look."

"Beats me. He asked me to read something." Gail sighed. She did have an idea of what weirded him out, but couldn't really wrap her head around it. He'd _asked_ her to memorize something and then got odd when she did. So did he not expect it to be a possibility? Brothers were so annoying. And it wasn't like to memorized the whole thing, just enough to fill in the rest, like their father had taught them.

Holly made a thoughtful sound. "I'm glad I don't have siblings," she said firmly.

"You can borrow mine, any time," grinned Gail.

* * *

They stumbled through the door from the garage, intent on nothing more than each other. Holly struggled with Gail's shawl/wrap, which her girlfriend had looped around her arms to hang off her shoulders. "Why did you think this was a good idea," grumbled Holly. She had to actually stop kissing Gail to figure out how to undo the wrap.

"You like how it makes my arms look," laughed Gail and she simply shook her arms to loosen and drop the wrap thingy onto the ground, kicking it away.

"Color. I like the color," growled Holly and she returned to kissing, lingering on Gail's neck. "It's inconvenient."

Gail made an appreciative noise and started on Holly's shirt buttons. "At least I can get out of my shoes," she teased, stepping out of them as if to prove it. Holly's shirt hung open and Gail ran her hands across Holly's stomach, her purse dangling from a shoulder. Holly shuddered at the touch, her body heating up everywhere Gail touched. "God, I love the way your skin feels," Gail sighed and her thumbs traced Holly's ribs.

As distracting as the sensation was, Holly desperately wanted to feel more of Gail's skin on hers. The dress zipper was not complying, which was Holly's current problem, shoes be dammed. "I swear, I'm going to pull this dress off with my teeth," she growled. Women's clothing was such a damn trial, but god did Gail look amazing. Holly hadn't wanted to pay attention to the ballet, as amazing as it was, because her inner-nerd was jumping up and down wanting everyone to look at the amazing, sexy, woman with her… and perhaps also get that woman home and naked in her bed. "Finally!" With a pop, the zipper agreed to move.

Someone coughed.

It wasn't Gail.

Holly froze, trying to process the sound. Before she could peg it, Gail spun around, pushing Holly behind her with one hand and producing a small gun out of nowhere. "Stay back here," hissed Gail, lowering slightly and stepping towards the living room.

Nodding, Holly scooted back, away from the direction Gail headed, and back to the door to the garage. Someone was in her house? Her eyes very slowly adjusted to the change in the light from the garage. The house was dark, just as they'd left it, and Gail was also taking her time. Clutching her shirt, Holly quickly buttoned it together, a row off and not caring. But damned if she was going to call 911 with her top off.

Then she heard Gail curse and turn a light on in the kitchen. "Steve, you asshole."

"Nice dress," coughed Steve. He didn't sound great.

"Shit, Holly! Get the first aid kit."

The doctor in Holly kicked into gear and she bolted up the stairs without looking at what was going on. When she got back down, Gail was kneeling on the floor of the kitchen, holding a towel to her brother's back and berating him for not going to a hospital.

"Potato, tomato," he grumbled.

"What's going on?" Holly pushed her glasses up and squatted by Steve. He looked terrible, like he'd been beaten and rolled. With Gail's help, he leaned forward and Holly hissed as a broken scalpel stuck out of his back.

"My CI stabbed me," explained Steve. He said it like it happened every day, and Holly frowned.

Without being prompted, Gail gave Holly clear access to the back wound, which was bleeding through the towel quite a bit. The very filthy towel. Holly pulled on gloves and took the towel off. It was not long, but it looked deep. "Steve, you need a doctor."

He laughed weakly. "I though you were one."

"I'm a pathologist," Holly pointed out. "Dead people doctor."

"I hurt too much to be dead."

Holly chewed her lip. "Gail, I need fresh towels. Can you get the ones my aunt sent us?" With the gun still in her hand, Gail nodded and rushed off to get the ugly towels with the grape embroidery. "You need stitches, Steve."

"I'm sure I do," he sighed. "I can't go to the ER right now."

Holly sighed. "That's stupid," she told him, and Steve nodded, ruefully.

When Gail came back, she had jeans and a shirt on as well as the towels in hand, but the gun was still evident. "Who's your drop, Steve?"

"Blackstone." The towels went down and Gail tucked the gun into a holster before putting it on the counter. "Where the hell did you have your gun in that dress?"

"It was in my purse, you moron," she growled and starting tapping on her phone. "And because tonight couldn't get _more_ awkward..."

Steve hissed as Holly probed his back. "You're supposed to wear it on your thigh," he told her through gritted teeth. Clearly the bantering was to take his mind off the pain. Gail flipped him off and stepped out of the room.

"Stay still," ordered Holly. "Gail, we need to take him to a hospital. He needs stitches."

Pausing in the archway, Gail asked the phone, "Did you hear that? Yeah. Well I don't know." She nodded, hand on hip, head down. Holly knew that pose. Gail was about to do something, "Well, no. I don't think so." She exhaled. "Steve, where's your car?"

"Bastard took it. I walked." No wonder he was so tired.

Wiping off Steve's face, Holly tried to think of how to treat it. If Steve was lucky, it didn't cut a muscle. "That seems short sighted," muttered Holly. He'd walked this far, so he was probably not in serious danger, though Gail had a remarkable ability to downplay injuries. It was either a cop or a Peck thing.

"He probably ditched it."

Gail was still on the phone with whomever Blackstone was. "Jacob, he's my brother. Don't fuck with me about this." She exhaled and listened. "Actually..." A pause and Gail turned to look at Holly, "Hang on." Gail held the phone a little away from her face. "Can you take care of him here?"

"Are you _all_ insane?" Holly snapped and glared at Gail. "He needs a hospital. If this cut his muscles-"

"Holly, I know," sighed Gail. "He can't go to the ER right now." Gail looked sympathetic. "It's okay if you say no, but _can_ you?"

Seriously? They were crazy. "I _can_," she allowed. "This is a bad idea, he could bleed out. I have no idea what I'm getting into, or ..."

"I know, it's okay." Steve's pale skin was waxen in pain.

"Gail?" Holly looked up at her girlfriend, seriously. "Why?"

"His CI works at Toronto General. It's too dangerous, especially if he's double crossed Steve," she said slowly. "You didn't tell me you were officially on that case, Steve."

"I bounced it off Jacob and we picked it up."

Gail frowned. "How long has he worked for Lapointe?" The answer came over the phone and Gail nodded. "Yeah, I know, shut up, I'm not ... Okay. Holly, yes or no?"

Biting her lip, Holly asked, "If I say no, you're going to put him in your car and drive somewhere else, aren't you?" And Gail nodded. Damn it. "Yes. But I need your help."

Nodding again, Gail spoke into the phone. "Call me when you know." She hung up and squatted by Steve. "Blackstone's got a BOLO out for your car."

"I hate that car—" Steve hissed as Holly moved him a little. "Jesus, why does it burn like that?"

"You were stabbed, Steve," sighed Holly. "I hope this isn't your favorite suit." She pulled out the scissors.

"It was," he grumbled. "Cut it off, I don't care." Gail held his hands and he cringed. "I take back everything, Garbage Pail."

With quick snips, Holly cut the shirt and vest off. She took a deep breath, "Steve, just breath normally for me, okay?" With her stethoscope, Holly listened to his lungs. No fluid sounds. The scalpel had cut down over an inch, dragged down probably. "If I take this out and he spurts, we go to the ER."

Gail agreed right away, though Steve did not. "Fine. Shut up Steve, you don't get a vote."

"Let's get him to a bed. He won't be able to get up after."

"And you said cleaning out the downstairs was silly." Gail's humor was clearly self defense against fear and Holly let it go. It took both of them to get Steve up and down the hall to the guest bed. Gail just threw a top sheet down for him, forgoing with actually making the bed, and towels layered under where he'd lie.

They lay Steve down on his stomach carefully, another towel under his head. "I haven't done this since I was in med school, Gail," hissed Holly, handing Gail gloves.

"Hey, I saved Chris' life when he was stabbed," Gail smiled thinly. Holly handed her a tampon. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Get it open and ready."

Steve asked cautiously, "Do I want to know?"

"Maybe," allowed Gail, smirking but also looking serious and scared. This was her brother after all.

Holly slowly took another breath and then drew the scalpel out. Steve gasped, not a great sound, and the blood began to flow. "Gail, give it here." The tampon went onto the cut, and Holly pressed sterile gauze to it. "I swear, if I have to put goddamn HemCon in my house," she growled, and fell into the rhythm of medicine.

Remarkably, Steve stayed still as Holly debrided the cut and stitched it up. Gail held his hands and neither Peck said a thing until Holly asked Gail to get a damp towel. "You're gonna live, Steve," she told her brother.

"I'll never play the violin again," he wheezed.

"Thank god," Gail muttered.

After cleaning his back and applying bandages, Holly collected her tools and shakily took them upstairs, leaving Gail to monitor her brother. She wanted to vomit. She hated treating live people, but there was no choice. It was this or something worse.

Taking advantage of the distance, Holly showered and changed before coming back downstairs. Gail was perched, cross-legged, beside Steve, holding his hand. The small pistol was clipped to her waist. Holly hadn't really noticed the gun had come with them. "I really owe her one, huh?"

"Yeah, you do, moron." Gail brushed his hair from his face. "You're going to owe her a hell of a lot more when I tell her who Blackstone is."

"Shit, she's going to hate him. Holly's right. You're insane. Or brave."

"Both." There was a hiss sound and Gail sighed loudly. "Sorry all we have is regular pain killers."

"Just promise me it'll be a cool scar."

"Better looking than the rest of you." Gail paused and looked up, seeing Holly. "I'll be right back, Steve. Don't move." Steve grunted. Crossing the room, Gail touched Holly's arm. "Thank you," she whispered. "I'm really sorry."

"It's not _your_ fault," sighed Holly. She started to move to hug Gail, but her eyes dropped to the gun. "Do you always bring that when we go out?"

Following the gaze, Gail sighed. "Almost always, yes."

Not sure how that made her feel, Holly wrapped her arms tight around herself. "Now what?"

"Blackstone's coming over with someone to guard you and Steve tonight." Gail chewed her lip and paused.

"Me and Steve." Not Gail. The blonde nodded. "Where are you going?"

There was the briefest pause before Gail replied, "To collar his CI."

"You're— The guy who _stabbed_ your brother!?"

"I know who he is, Holly. And I know the case. It'll be faster. I can pick him up and I'll have backup. We've got uniformed looking for him right now. Soon as they spot him, Blackstone and I'll go in."

Holly looked at the man sprawled on her guest bed and scowled. "Who is Blackstone, and why won't I like him?"

Flinching, Gail pushed both hands through her hair. "Nick... He's the guy I slept with."

The guy Gail slept with? What did that have to do with Nick... Then she remembered the conversation. Steve was right, Holly _did_ hate him right away. "And you're going with him tonight?" She knew she sounded bitter and angry, and she was not able to nor cared to tamp it down. Seriously, Gail was going to hang out with the guy she cheated on Nick with?

"Be realistic, Holly," Gail said calmly. "Would you rather be here with him?"

"No." Holly glowered. "I don't like that you're working with him."

Gail reached over and touched Holly's face, gently cradling it, "Holly. I know this is not the night I planned." Her voice was soft, the tender tone that Holly never heard anywhere else. "I'm sorry I even had to ask you."

Leaning a little into the hand, Holly closed her eyes. "What would you have done if I wasn't here?"

"Less sterile, more swearing, no stitches, and a fuck ton of bandages." In other words, the same thing, less safely. Holly sighed and Gail's thumb brushed her cheekbone. "I totally get why you're mad."

Holly shook her head and stepped closer to Gail, unfolding her arms and grabbing Gail's shirt hem. "I'm not. I'm _terrified_, Gail. This … this is not me. This is not what I know. This is—" Holly paused and pressed her head to Gail's shoulder. "Remember when I said I was all about trying new things?"

"Yeah," replied Gail, one hand gently rubbing Holly's back.

"I did not mean this," Holly said firmly and Gail coughed a dry laugh. They stayed like that for a little while, until Gail's phone beeped. "Do you have to go now?"

Gail nodded. "I do." She pressed her lips to Holly's forehead.

"Wash your face," sighed Holly. Without another word, Gail jogged upstairs and, moments later, returned with a scrubbed face and a black jacket and watch cap. It was summer, but that blonde hair would stand out. She paused to give Holly an apologetic look before opening the door to let in Detective Luke Callaghan and a confused Nick.

"Jesus, what is this? You couldn't bring Chris too?" Gail was snappish and it was somehow very comforting.

"Jacob's used us before," Callaghan pointed out. "And Nick's the best shot, so it was him or Andy."

Gail scowled, "If anything happens to her..." The threat was so low, Holly was certain she wasn't supposed to hear it, but Nick just nodded. There were no more hugs, just one last look from Gail, impossible to read, and Holly was left alone with three policemen.

"So. Uh. Are you okay, Holly?" Nick looked nervous.

"I've had worse dates," she muttered. That was a lie, though. This was now, officially, the worst date she'd ever had with Gail. Holly sighed and turned to the detective, "Now what?"

Callaghan nodded. "Now we wait. Can I talk to Peck? Steve..."

"Yes," sighed Holly and she led him into the room. Nick stayed out, walking around the house as if on patrol. Would this ever get any easier?

* * *

_Answer: No, Holly. It really doesn__'__t._


	34. Peck & Peck

**Chapter 3****4: Peck & Peck**

_Author's Note: Steve will be fine, don't worry. I know I say that only Holly and Gail are safe from dying in this fic, but Steve would need a more dramatic death than this one. I nearly jumped ahead here, but the idea of Gail and Blackstone talking about Holly was too amusing to pass up._

* * *

Sitting in the car with Jacob Blackstone, on an impromptu stakeout for an ER nurse who was helping a gang smuggle medical supplies, and had shanked her brother with a scalpel, was so incredibly far from how she'd wanted to spend her night, Gail could barely process it. At least he'd picked up good coffee. She propped her feet on the dash and watched the man pace in his apartment.

"So," Blackstone said slowly, as if certain Gail was going to lash out at him. "You live with her?"

"Yep." Gail frowned as Tim Baines paused at the window and looked out. He didn't seem to see them. "Jesus, is he ever going to leave?" She slouched in the seat and kept watching.

Blackstone didn't reply to that and scratched on his notepad. "When did that happen?"

Gail eyed him, "Why does everyone want to ask me about that? Yes, I bang chicks now. I'm living with my girlfriend." She turned back to the window and watched stupid Tim pace back and forth. "Can we tap his phone?"

"You ever tried to wake up a judge at 2am on a Saturday?"

That would be a no. "You filed anyway?"

"Of course." Blackstone sounded offended. He squinted. "Is he on the phone now?"

"Third time," confirmed Gail.

"Three calls. Times?" As Gail recited the times, Blackstone jotted them down. "Didn't answer when though."

Gail blinked and sighed. "After Nick... And no, it had nothing to do with you." As Gail said that she wondered how true it was. He'd been a strange part of it. "Well. Maybe the back hair," she added aloud, as a dig.

And Blackstone smiled. He liked it when people gave him crap. "Good. You've got to know this stuff before you get in to undercover work."

"Mm, no. I'm not doing that."

"Major Crimes, I know." He grinned. "Steve told me this was all because you saw something. That right?"

Gail hesitated. Fuck it. Blackstone used people, but he was also a good cop. "Kid dumped in a lake after being picked up by a non-existent ambulance, body dumped in the woods with an IV stuck in wrong, fake EMTs picking up a non-dead body for god knows why, a headless guy in an ambulance rolled down a hill."

To her surprise, Blackstone added to her list with three more oddities. "And you're wondering why Guns and Gangs is interested?"

"They're part of a cover up," she suggested, not phrasing it as a question on purpose. A question made it sound like you doubted yourself. A statement made you seem certain.

Blackstone nodded. "You nabbed Bobby Zanaro, right?"

"Oliver and I did, yeah."

"He got ousted from Two Lakes." Gail remembered that and nodded, encouraging Blackstone to go on. "A lot of the older lieutenants and old school guys have been showing up dead. Including the ones on your list."

Gail tore her eyes away from Tim in the window. "They're _all_ members of Two Lakes?"

"Some more than others, but they're all old school. We think it's a takeover."

She chewed on that for a while watching Tim put the phone down. Was he on the move yet? "But why the ambulances?"

"That's where Tim comes in. He's been feeding Two Lakes for almost five years, supplies. But there's got to be a reason they're using ambulances."

Without thinking Gail replied, "Easy way to move drugs. We'd never pull 'em over. And great for body dumps." She took her feet off the dash as Tim started moving in the bedroom. "The kid in the lake was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time. The guy who was alive was a dump and they were still in the area. Heard our call. Right place right time." Yeah, Tim was definitely on the move.

Her hand was on the door handle when Blackstone spoke, "Take the front."

They'd already disabled his car so Gail knew he'd be making a run for it. Blackstone went to the back, by the car, while Gail tried to decide if Tim would run from the alley or the street. She moved to the alley right as she heard the shout. Tim tripped on to Blackstone and Gail crouched, waiting.

The crash sound was garbage bins probably intended to delay Blackstone. The clatter was Tim slipping. She heard his breathing and tensed.

Now.

Gail threw herself at him the moment he was clear of the alley and slammed Tim into the pavement hard. Probably harder than was necessary, truth be told. "Hi, you're under arrest," she said brightly.

Struggling, Tim tried to evade the cuffs. "What the hell for?"

"Assault and attempted murder of a police officer for starters," she growled and yanked his arm up to cuff.

"Nice tackle, Peck," smiled Blackstone holding his hand to his face. Tim had clearly gotten a swing in.

The name Peck made Tim stop moving and Gail hauled him to his feet. "Are ... You ..."

"I'm your arresting officer, moron." She frog marched him to the car and tossed him in the back. "This is why I don't want guns and gangs. Your criminals are _stupid_."

* * *

Her neck was killing her. That was Holly's first thought as awareness crept in. Her legs too. "Ow," she muttered and tried to move her limbs, wincing at the pins and needles stabbing her. An afghan slipped from her shoulders, slithering down to the ground as Holly sorted out where she was.

She had fallen asleep in the (comfortable) reading chair in the guest room. Why was she asleep in the guest room? Holly rubbed her eyes, realizing why the pattern on the chair was so damn fuzzy. Where were her glasses? She looked around, spotting a shape on the guest bed, and memory flooded back. Worst. Date. Ever.

"I promise."

A voice from outside the room was familiar. Male. Nick! Holly sat bolt upright and winced. Jesus everything hurt. She was too old to be sleeping in chairs and was feeling every inch of her 'closer to 40 than 35' right now. The little coffee table held her glasses and Holly fumbled, pushing them on to her face. Ahhh, focus. God bless glasses. The distance to the bed was right on the edge of her ever increasing fuzzy zone. Getting old sucked.

Steve was asleep or seemingly so. "Steve?" she asked softly. It was possible he, like Gail, had that distressing ability to fake-sleep through anything. She slowly stretched her muscles until, certain she wasn't about to topple, Holly could move to the bed and check on her girlfriend's brother.

No, Steve was soundly asleep, his face screwed up in pain. He really needed a hospital, with an IV and some damn good painkillers. Pressing one hand, gently, to his face, Holly did not find his temperature to be too abnormal. She carefully pulled the sheet back and peeked at the bandages. That was warm to the touch but not painfully so. It didn't seem like an infection had cropped up in the night.

Was it night? She looked at the window and saw the light of not early dawn but well towards morning. The clock told her it was nearly seven in the morning. The last time she remembered was around three when Gail texted her to say she'd arrested the CI. Had Holly really slept for four-ish hours? Had Gail slept at all? And where the hell was her phone?

Leaving Steve to sleep as much as he could, Holly slipped out into the living room where Nick was pacing nervously. He looked like an anxious father. "Do you want coffee?" she asked him, feeling the desperate need herself.

"Oh! You're awake. Gail just called." He held the phone out. "You slept through it ringing, she said to let you rest."

Holly took her phone and blinked at the list of calls from Gail which she had, totally, slept right through. "I see. Thank you." Hesitating with her thumb over the call back button, Holly looked up at Nick. "Who were you promising?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Gail. She said if I woke you up, she'd … er …"

"Do something anatomically impossible to your reproductive parts?"

"She's _really_ inventive when she's mad." When Holly smiled, he grinned back. "Oh, and they're sending people to pick up Steve and take him to the hospital, under guard."

Holly frowned, "So you're leaving?"

"You're coming with … I mean … Uh, Gail…" He blinked and rubbed his head. "She said you should go if you wanted. Woke up. I'm sorry."

"Coffee," Holly said firmly, not entirely clear on all this herself, and she made two cups of espresso, passing one to Nick. "Yes, I'm going with Steve to the hospital," she said firmly. "How are we going to explain this?" Holly was struck by a crazy fear of loosing her license over the mess. After she'd just sorted her job out again, too!

When Nick didn't know, Holly sighed and called Gail. The phone rang three times before Gail picked up. "Please tell me Nicholas didn't wake you up."

Holly smiled. Gail sounded frustrated and cranky, and she was clearly annoyed at Nick quite a bit. She generally called him Nicholas only when she was angry with him. "No. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," sighed Gail. "Tired as hell. We're interrogating the dumb ass loser."

"Now? Sorry, did I interrupt?" She sipped her coffee and felt life flowing back in her. So they had caught the man who stabbed Steve. That was good.

"Nah, we're letting him sweat for a bit anyway." Gail's flippant reply was ruined by the yawn. "God, I would kill for your espresso."

"Come home?"

"Can't yet. Is Steve doing okay?"

Holly was a little miffed Gail didn't ask how _she_ was doing, but then again she was on the phone chatting so Gail probably presumed she was fine. "He needs a—"

"Hospital, yeah, didn't Nick tell you? Callaghan's going to take him in. You don't have to go but I thought you might want to. Explain what happened."

The name Callaghan reminded her and Holly looked around. Where was he? "God, I'm going to be in so much shit for this," she groaned.

"For … what?"

"Illegal medical procedures?"

"Good Samaritan laws were invented for a reason. Don't worry, Blackstone'll clear it. Right?" The last bit was said away from the phone. "Yeah, you are going to do that right now, thank you." Then more clearly to Holly, Gail added, "All good. Sorry."

Holly shook her head. "Why do I get the feeling you're breaking the law."

"Never," Gail said, surprisingly firmly. Then she sighed again, "What can I do?"

"For me?" The real answer was rewind time and undo everything. "Nothing, honey. It's … well no, it's not fine." Holly exhaled. "I want to get away from all of this." Nick, catching her words, looked away but did not leave earshot. Damn it.

"That's not a stupid idea," agreed Gail. "After. I'll come meet you at the ER?"

"Oh, so I'm going?" There was no reply and Holly was sure Gail was grinning. "Yes, fine, I'm going. Eat something, will you?"

"I will. I love you."

Shyly, Holly turned away from Nick and whispered, "I love you too."

"Oh, Nick's there, eh?"

"Yeah, and I seem to have lost your detective."

"Probably on the deck being all detectivey. I'm going to find something to eat and then play good cop, bad cop."

Another whispered endearment and Holly hung up. She did not turn around to look at Nick, pretending he wasn't there for a moment longer. When her back door opened, Callaghan walked in and looked surprised to see her awake. "Good. The ambulance will be here in 10 minutes. Coming?"

"Ambulance?" She felt suddenly nervous.

"EMTs we know," he assured her. "Can I have some coffee?"

Coffee. Yes. Holly made another cup for the police officers and then excused herself to go upstairs. Taking the time to freshen up, Holly pulled on a clean shirt, brushed her teeth, and washed her face. She felt a little more human and went back down to get Steve ready, as well as packing her purse.

She ended up riding in the ambulance with Callaghan, Nick taking their car. Wide awake, Steve grimaced with every bump and bounce on the drive but he didn't curse. He did complain that everyone _else_ had coffee and he didn't, but it was the same sort of tone Gail used when she was just annoyed and cranky. So Holly held his hand and smiled fondly. All the Pecks were cats in trees sometimes.

The ER was prepared for them, asking Holly only the important questions and letting her tag along with them as the doctor inspected her work. When she explained about the tampon Callaghan laughed and Steve looked offended but the doctors agreed it was a good idea. In less time than Holly expected, Steve was in a private room with an IV pumping him with fluids, antibiotics, and pain killers. Just like his sister, he got loopy fast. Pecks could hold their alcohol but not the good drugs.

Holly felt infinitely calmer, now that Steve was under professional care. "Is anyone going to tell Traci- Um, Detective Nash?"

The question surprised Callaghan but he nodded. "Oh. Yes." He ducked out to make a call and Holly rolled her eyes. They were all the same, cops. Brilliant in their fields, dense as planks with people in their personal lives. Not that she thought Callaghan fell under the brilliant category, mind. He was more average and annoying when compared to Steve or Traci.

She took a seat next to Steve's bed and leaned back. God, the stress of this sort of thing was unimaginable. And Gail lived with this daily? She pulled her phone out and texted Gail, telling her she was safe at the hospital and please make sure someone actually does tell Traci.

And then she waited. At least she'd brought a book.

* * *

"You ready to go in?" Blackstone looked only slightly more awake and aware than she did, and for that Gail felt pleased.

"Alone," she replied and he nodded. She sighed and stood up. "Right. Give me a minute." Gail went to the bathroom to wash her face and bumped into Andy, looking grumpy as one might expect for anyone who worked on weekends. "Hey," she muttered, turning on cold water.

Absently, Andy replied in kind and then did a double take. "Hey, why are you in street clothes? Parade is in 5!" Gail opened her mouth to reply when Andy corrected herself, "Why are you _here_ at all!? We swapped shifts so you could do that dance!"

"Ballet, Andy, I was at the ballet." She splashed her face again and winced. Not really helping. She wanted to be back there, at the ballet or the part where Holly was threatening to bite Gail's dress off, instead of the place where here brother was in the hospital. "I got called in last night. This morning. Whatever."

Gail tried to think of how many consecutive hours she'd been up. It was past eight. She'd been up twenty six hours, with a work day and a show in the middle. No wonder she felt like absolute crap. The adrenaline rush had clearly worn off. "Wow, that sucks," muttered Andy and she grabbed Gail's elbow.

"Hey, what the hell, McNally?"

"Sit," ordered Andy, pushing Gail into a seat and grabbing a brush. "You're doing something important, right? You need to not look like death warmed over. You need to be bad-ass Peck."

Out came a brush and makeup from Gail's locker. In a moment, Andy cleaned Gail up far better than she could do herself. "Thank you," muttered Gail, uncomfortable.

"If you hug me, I know the world is ending."

So Gail rolled her eyes and went back to interrogation. Blackstone did a small double take on seeing her but grinned in a way Gail understood well. War paint. She'd have shaved if she was her brother. She picked up the folder and let herself in.

"Tim," she sighed, tossing the folder down and sitting, as if she did this every single day of her life. The weaselly CI winced. "Here's the thing, Tim. My partner, that hairy guy? He doesn't like you."

"You don't like me either," muttered Tim. "Peck, right?" She nodded and he looked away. "That guy was Peck. The guy I stabbed."

"Oh my brother?" Gail was as flippant as she could be. "Yeah, I should thank you. He's been a pain in my ass for years. Maybe he'll be more humble now." Tim latched on to her words and looked up, surprised. "He's alive. You're a pretty shitty murderer."

"I didn't mean…" Tim looked away. "Good. I didn't want to kill him."

"And yet you stole his car, his phone, and his gun. Why'd you stab him?" No answer. "Right. So you've been supplying Two Lakes for, what, over a decade now? Drug crap, screwing up records so your guys don't get tracked when they get hurt. What we kind of expect. But … two years ago it changed to something else."

Tim's hands twitched. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure do," smiled Gail. She glanced at the door and got up. "You hungry? Thirsty?" Gail knocked on the door and Blackstone handed her two granola bars and two water bottles. He mouthed 'doing good' and the door closed. "I'm starving, but I'm always hungry."

Taking the offered food and drink, Tim chewed on the granola bar. "Thanks."

"You ever watch SciFi stuff, Tim?" When he blinked, Gail went on, editing herself somewhat to avoid mentioning she was dating anyone. You never gave a perp real information, she learned that from Perik. "I know this total nerd, so I end up watching some weird crap with her. There's this show, right, called _Firefly_. Whole episode's based on them breaking into a hospital as EMTs and stealing a tonne of supplies. Black Market stuff." She paused, "It's a really good show, actually." Gail sipped her water, "Anyway, you guys aren't doing the black market, which is weird, right? Why do you need a fleet of fake ambulances?"

Tim's eyes widened. "We don't…" He trailed off and then clammed up.

"Don't need a _fleet_ right, bad choice of words. You had five, though. Three still working. We've got the other two." She scratched her cheek. "How long have you been in Two Lakes now, Timbo? Fifteen years? Twenty? Bobby Zanaro was your old boss, right?"

The more Gail spoke, the paler Tim looked. "Bobby's gone," he whispered.

That was not news to her, having arrested him. Gail was pretty sure Bobby was out in Alberta or Vancouver under a new identity, and she tapped her folder. "Lots of guys from your generation are at loose ends theses days. Funny thing. Times are changing."

Tim looked up at her slowly. "I'm dead. The minute I walk out the doors, I'm dead." Tilting her head slowly, Gail said nothing.

She was tired. No, she was exhausted. Every minute awake wore on her, and she wanted a nap, in her own bed, with Holly. "What am I gonna do with you, Tim?" She sighed and leaned back.

"I can tell you everything." She tilted her head again. Silence. She was too tired to speak. "Okay, I know it won't get me out of- of what I did, but we can cut a deal right? I tell you everything you move me to Saskatchewan or Yellow Knife. Someplace way the hell away, and I marry an Eskimo and it's okay, right?" Gail frowned a little. She had no power to make a deal. Pursing her lips she looked over his shoulder, trying to think of an answer.

And a miracle happened.

Tim began to talk. It wasn't his idea, he stressed. He'd just noticed that no one stopped the ambulances, no matter where they went. Even the druggies and gangs, they all left them alone, unless they were transporting the enemy. One day Tim mentioned it to someone else and he fell under the aegis of Bobby.

Bobby became his mentor, listening to his ideas, taking them further. They turned a drug using doctor into a resource. They learned how to fake an ambulance safely and used it to transport drugs. Illegal drugs, just like you'd expect. No one pulled over an ambulance, after all. And they'd been doing that for almost a decade. Bobby ran the show, and even made Tim go to nursing school, making him use his smarts to be their inside guy.

But the last few years it changed. The new kids were expanding past just drugs. There was more killing, outright killing. Bobby was against it and they threw him out. Cut his ties, disowned him, whatever you wanted to call it, Bobby was persona non gratis in the Two Lakes family. Tim was sure he'd be next, being Bobby's golden boy, but these new guys had a new plan.

The turf wars escalated, quietly. Instead of shoot outs, they assassinated each other. One at a time, over long periods of time. And those drug mule ambulances had a new purpose. They were transporting dead bodies, they were clean up. They followed the killers to make sure the bodies were dead and dropped them off in new locations. Some were left at the hospitals, some were dumped in parks.

Quietly, Gail opened the folder and slid over photos of the bodies they knew about. Tim gave them names and jobs. The kid in the lake was a confirmed accident. And the morons arrested by Gail and Gerald flubbed the drop. They were supposed to make sure he was dead. Of course, that guy was still in a coma so it didn't really matter to the gang. Tim was supposed to keep tabs on him, kill him if he woke up.

And that was when Tim started having second thoughts. That was when he turned to Steve and started the whole CI crap. But last night he'd panicked. The rumor was there was going to be a hit on him and when Steve offered to take him some place safe, he freaked. It was a mistake, Tim admitted. It was stupid.

The door opened and Blackstone jerked his chin at Gail. They had enough. "Sit tight, Timmy," she told him, handing him her uneaten granola bar, and left the room.

To her surprise, the observation room was filled with detectives from guns and gangs. Their voices overlapped as they told her how impressed they were, how thrilled. How this broke open everything. And how Gail had been right. Praise like that, praise she'd always craved, was falling over her and her brain barely processed it all. She'd waited him out, given him the rope and let him hang himself. Giving him the room to talk. She'd bonded, apparently.

Blackstone put a meaty hand on her shoulder. "You got enough? Kid hasn't seen her own brother since he got to the hospital. And I need a week of sleep."

Inspector Jarvis was in a pressed suit, Saturday be damned, and nodded. "Impressive work, Peck. You'll do."

"Sir," she replied, not entirely sure where that was going. But Jarvis didn't explain anything else and Blackstone hauled Gail out of the room, pushing her phone into her hand. There were texts from Holly and Gail smiled. Her brother was just fine.

"Hope you're ready for the big leagues, kid," Blackstone told her, looking pleased and smug.

Gail blinked and looked back at the room. In that moment she abruptly knew, even though it was months too soon, she wasn't going to be doing patrol any longer. "Huh. Am I supposed to thank you? Because you're still an ass who uses people."

"Damn right I used you. Your brother said you had raw talent, I thought he was being a brother." Blackstone tossed Gail her jacket. "I figured you could bridge the rapport he'd had with that idiot. You broke him."

She really wasn't entirely sure how that happened either. They eased into Blackstone's car and Gail shook her head. "That was luck."

"That was luck and being prepared for this your whole life. Jarvis is greasing your transfer."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I figured." Closing her eyes, Gail slumped in the seat and put her head against the window. Dimly she was aware of Blackstone telling her to be more excited, but Gail let the car sooth her into a light doze. It was the first time her eyes had shut for more than a blink in hours and they burned too much to let her sleep. She did try to ignore Blackstone but when he said Holly's name, she tuned back in. "What about Holly?" Gail was not embarrassed to be caught out.

"I was saying your girlfriend, it is girlfriend, right? Your girlfriend handled that situation really well. If there's anything I can do ..."

"No offense, Jacob, but the last thing I want from you is your nose in my personal life again." He snorted and she smiled. "She knows about you, anyway. I'll sort it out."

"You told her about us?" He sounded surprised.

"Rip off the bandaid, they say." Gail tried to keep her eyes closed, but they hurt more to be closed than open. Dry. They'd have eye drops at the hospital. "She knows everything about me, Jacob."

"I can totally see flipping for her," he mused thoughtfully. "She's got a sexy librarian thing going on."

"Just stop," winced Gail. "Do not ruin that for me, or I will duct tape your back hair to your ass hair." It worked and Blackstone dropped her off. "You're not coming in?"

"Nah, I'm going to write up how the damn Peck siblings saved my ass."

Gail went right to Steve's room, finding him alone. The nurse explained that Holly and Traci (aka two cute women, one with a badge) had gone to find food. Steve was stoned out of his mind and cheerful. He was as much a lightweight with painkillers as she was, though right now Gail would have murdered him for the Oxy. As she listened to him singing "Hit Me Baby" there was a noise behind her.

There was Holly. Gail offered as much of an energetic smile as she could muster. Hesitating a moment, Holly ruthlessly handed Traci her coffee and bag of food before rushing to hug Gail tightly. "Hey, I'm okay," whispered Gail, her hands landing on Holly's waist.

But Holly had to look for herself. She always had to look closely when she was worried about Gail and cupped her face with both hands. "Good," whispered Holly and leaned in to kiss her.

Oh if only Gail had a little more energy. The kiss was not a simple peck nor a friendly warm reminder. This was a kiss to insist that Gail was very much alive. Holly snaked a hand to the back of Gail's head, pulling her even closer, winding her fingers in the short hair. It was breathless. Gail hated to back away. "Traci's right here," Gail muttered into Holly's lips.

"Don't care," replied Holly, pressing into Gail again.

"Don't stop on my account, Holly, but blondie looks like she's going to fall over." God bless Traci. Holly did cease her onslaught and sighed, making Gail sit down on the couch. "Don't worry, Gail. We got food for you too."

Handed a breakfast burrito, Gail cautiously took a bite before groaning. "I'm leaving you for Traci." No eggs, no tomatoes.

"That's okay," smiled Holly. "Steve has professed his undying love for me. Peck swap?"

Traci looked seriously between Gail and her brother. "No, I like the goofy one. You keep the bitchy one."

Miffed, Gail let Holly draw her back against the couch, sighing as Holly draped a long arm around her shoulders. "I retract my offer and now I'm not going to tell you how I saved the world and am champion of the universe."

The threat was empty and Gail gave them the rundown. Traci looked chagrined as Gail's theory was confirmed and did apologize for calling her crazy. Holly squeezed Gail closer when she explained about the likelihood of being transferred by Monday. They stayed for a while longer in the hospital, until Gail nearly fell asleep twice and Holly finally dragged her out, taking them home in their own car.

Gail wanted to tell Holly more about the day, but was pushed into the shower first. All Gail remembered after that was sitting on the bed for a minute to pull on socks, waking up in the afternoon with Holly's arm around her waist, and going back to sleep. It would keep.

* * *

_Go go team Peck!_


	35. Pecking Order

**Chapter 3****5: Pecking Order**

_Author's Note: Holly is more forgiving about scary cop stuff, but her therapist is really earning that bill, I betcha. Now that one case is wrapped up, or at least Gail's part in it is done, it's time for something new._

* * *

"Officer Peck reporting, sir," Gail tried to keep any trace of a smile off her face. She was dressed in her normal uniform, complete with tie (clip on) and kit as requested.

Inspector David Butler looked up from his computer and smiled. "Don't look so serious, Peck." He stood up and extended a hand. "Welcome to Major Crimes. You already know Sergeant Best."

Shaking her new boss's hand, Gail nodded at the man to the side. "Hi, Frank."

"Hi, Gail, welcome to the third floor." The twinkle in Frank's eyes was comforting. "Nice job last weekend. That guy folded fast. I saw the tapes."

"Guess I put the fear of god in him," she grinned, gesturing at herself.

She was introduced around to the rest of the staff. The regular detectives worked on the first floor, with overflow and special crimes like Steve's work on two (she never understood why Steve insisted on working on the main floor). The third floor, Fifteen's top floor, was for major crimes and staff like her parents. Her mother's office when Gail was in school had been up here. Thankfully it was not Butler's office. Her father had once held a desk here as well, recently even.

Butler had converted the office into an interview room, preferring to sit in the open with everyone else. "You'll sit with Frank for now. I was going to have you start with a case you knew, but you wrapped _that_ up for guns and drugs." Shaking his head, Butler gestured at the board at the end of the room.

Both of Gail's eyebrows rose and she looked at the board. The ambulance cases. "Sorry about that," she smirked.

"Don't be. I was going to have to wait another couple months for you without it." Butler put his hands in his pockets, like an overgrown schoolboy. "How's your brother?"

"Fine. He's got a sling to stop moving his arm around, but he's healing. Went home yesterday."

"Good," nodded Butler. "He's a good kid. Needs a steady partner." The Inspector, _her_ Inspector, grinned. "His boss wanted Double Peck. I had to fight for you."

Gail quirked a grin, but held it tight. "Beat out a Staff Inspector?"

"Jarvis said you'd be better here. Two versus one." Someone called Butler's name and he nodded. "Best, get Peck dialed in."

Frank brought Gail to his desk and they sat down. There was an awkward pause before he chuckled and slid over a blotter. "For later." With intense sincerity, Frank ran her down on the crimes they'd be working on as well as a quick briefing on three task forces they were running in coordination with other divisions. For now, Gail's duties were to follow Frank and watch and learn.

While Frank was demoted from Staff Sergeant to Sergeant, the lateral shift to Detective Sergeant had done him well. Not that he'd been a bad boss, but the last two years had been especially rough. He was a good leader of masses, better than most, and Butler was wise to assign Frank to onboard new people. Not that Gail was really new. Frank knew it too, which made the day speed by.

Gail was home first, even with a trip to the gym with Traci, and spread her copy of the recent blotter over the kitchen island while cooking dinner.

"Oh you're all professional," laughed Holly, coming in from the garage. "Already got a case?" She swooped around to kiss Gail's cheek and look over her shoulder.

"No, just memorizing everything on the blotter. Frank wants me to look for patterns." She stretched her arms over her head and laughed as Holly's arms wrapped around her waist.

"So first day was good?" Holly smiled, looking as pleased as if she'd done it herself.

That was an odd question, Gail realized. "Weird. It's just ... Strange being upstairs all day. And I'm the _only_ one in uniform," she grumbled. That part she hated. She wasn't a detective yet. That would have to wait until her mother had officially retired. A whole damn year unless she did something epic, something amazing.

Holly, however, pointed out a flaw. "Having seen your wardrobe, honey, it's probably better this way." Gail did not want to shopping for work clothes. "Maybe when you're in charge, you can get everyone to wear jeans and your slouchy blouses."

"In a million years," she complained. Gail leaned back into Holly and sighed, drinking in her presence.

Resting her chin on Gail's shoulder, Holly sighed and her hands drifted down to Gail's thighs. "You like it."

"I spent my day reading about robberies," Gail muttered. The hands on her legs squeezed and one moved up Gail's shirt, slipping under it, resting on her stomach.

"Major Crimes sounds a little petty." Holly's breath was distractingly pleasant on her neck.

"There's been swarming."

"Like bees?" Holly brushed a thumb across Gail's inner thigh.

Gail sighed, covering that hand with her own and bringing it up to her lips. "When groups, usually kids, crowd someone to rob them." Gail turned Holly's hand, kissing the palm. "I like it."

"I like how you caught your ambulance guy because I made you watch the greatest sci-fi show in the last 10 years."

"Neeeeerrrrd," smirked Gail.

"You watch reality TV," snapped Holly without any venom in her voice. The hand under Gail's shirt poked her, however.

"Hey, I watched that _Lost Girl_ show with you. Didn't even have a single sexy librarian," she lamented and won a neck kiss from her girlfriend. "And it wasn't like the _Firefly _episode. Baby, you know real crime isn't like TV."

Holly sighed. "Well if it was they'd have caught the guys faster."

Letting go of Holly's hand, Gail spun the stool around. She tugged Holly by the waist so they were somewhat more entangled. Pressing her face into Holly's neck, she asked, "Would you go to the ballet with me again?"

"Will you wear that shawl thing again?"

"Maybe," grinned Gail. "Maybe something you don't have to use your teeth to unzip."

Holly groaned. "I hate zippers." Leaning back however, Holly smiled and kissed Gail gently. "I'll think about it. Just ... Bring Steve. Or make Traci promise to sit on him."

"I don't want to know what Steve and Traci do in their free time," winced Gail. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry." But she let go and asked, "What _is_ for dinner?"

"Cheese puff crusted chicken." Holly made a surprised face and Gail smirked. "I made a broccoli salad thing too, shallots and onions and all that. I promise, it's good."

"Well... The mac and cheese thing was awesome," allowed Holly. "But Gail, just how many recipes do you know with cheese puffs?"

With a smile, Gail did not answer.

* * *

Holly liked the new routine. Gail had a normal kind of schedule, which meant they regularly had time together. There were now weekends, whole weekends which were consistently theirs. As summer ended, Holly dragged Gail to a baseball game and the lake, and lamented not having a summer cottage to hide in. That was when Gail mentioned that her family did have a cottage, or a cabin, she was unclear as to which, and that Gail actually had the keys.

"Will your parents be there?"

"Dunno... So yeah, there is that."

They decided not to risk it, which turned out to be providential when Gail found herself the unwilling recipient of an award for saving Steve's life and breaking open the Two Lakes little crime ring. Privately Holly though the name was dumb but Gail said criminals weren't always known for their smarts. Then she told Holly a hilarious story about a robber who had a custom license plate on his getaway car.

At the award ceremony, which was in public and outside, Gail was withdrawn and quiet on stage. She hated it and Holly knew it, so watching her girlfriend retreat into her comfortable angry shell was not unexpected. Getting a medal for doing her job had, per Gail, been stupid. If anyone deserved a medal for that crap it was Holly, and she threatened to submit Holly's name for an order of merit.

It hadn't taken much to talk Gail out of that idea as soon as Holly pointed out they'd make Gail give a speech.

With the new medal pinned to her jacket, Gail grumbled, "Can I just get drunk?"

Her brother slung his good arm around her shoulders, showing off his own medal (a reward for being stabbed apparently). "Yes, sister dear. I think tonight calls for drinks at the Penny with our beautiful women. Women we will go home with."

Since Steve had needed a little extra care and help after being stabbed, Traci and Leo de facto moved in early. That sped up the search for a larger place, which turned out to be close to where Traci already lived. Gail had been enlisted to help move and did not complain too much about it, though she and Holly gave the couple sports tickets. But now both Pecks were well and truly healed and happy, which they admitted was a strange place to be.

The Penny was packed with people who wanted to buy Gail a drink, most of whom were her former patrol mates though Detective Blackstone only stopped by briefly, getting weird looks from Nick and Andy. Both of Gail's rookies made an adorable honor guard, keeping track of everyone who bought a drink.

"This is cute," Holly informed Gail. "Gerald and Snowflake are getting along."

Gail squinted at them for a long moment. "Ah crap, they're boning." Holly nearly shot her beer out her nose much to Gail's delight.

Alas, Gail had not been joking and Holly was aghast when she spotted the two making out in a corner an hour later. Gail had sighed knowingly and complained about people in general being far too happy and perky. This led to Gail and Chloe arguing across at least four languages about happiness.

"It's disturbing, isn't it?" Dov sighed and handed Holly another beer.

"Mm, no thanks, I'm driving. Do they both speak a bajillion languages?"

"Chloe said Gail was cheating by not teaching her Punjabi I think, and Gail called her a snob for not teaching Swahili. Who even knows Swahili?" They shook their heads. "She's just going to go on and on, isn't she?"

"I'm afraid so." Holly smiled fondly at her girlfriend and her limitless future.

Dov sighed. "I miss the old days sometimes, when we were all rookies and she was just the bitchy, cold one who stabbed us in the back."

It was hard for Holly to see that Gail in her mind. She knew the other Gail, the sweet and sensitive one who was sarcastic and witty and defensive. "Which came first," wondered Holly aloud.

"Huh?" Dov looked confused. "You mean were we mean or was she? God, I don't even know. If she hadn't been dating Chris, maybe we'd never know." He paused and changed the topic, "Hey, what are you guys doing for the holiday weekend?"

Holly blinked. "Nothing," she realized. Gail had taken the long weekend off, since her new boss didn't like how much unspent holiday time she'd acquired. Holly liked Butler for that alone, though she had not yet met him.

And Dov smiled. "Do you like camping? We all go, it's like a tradition. Only we've never gotten Gail to come..." Dov gestured at their arguing girlfriends and frowned. "Crap."

Sweet and kind Chloe snapped. "Você é um saco!"

The argument looked like it was getting serious. "Let me think about it," Holly replied and stood up. She tapped Gail on the shoulder and as soon as the blonde turned to look at her, kissed her. The words stopped and Gail melted into Holly for the moment. "Let people be happy, honey," whispered Holly, taking Gail by the hand and sauntering back to the table.

Dov was slack jawed. "How did you do that?"

"Shut up," grumbled Gail, but she smiled at Holly.

But Dov was delighted. "You made Gail be nice! That's like a super power. You should, I don't know, get an award or something." When Gail raised her fist, Dov stopped. "Just ask her later."

"Ask me what?" Gail sounded suspicious and Holly kissed her again.

Kissing was a fast way to hush Gail up. "It's not later."

The odds of Gail wanting to go camping voluntarily were slim to none, but Holly felt it might be fun. She hadn't been camping in a very long time. Holly knew she would enjoy it, and she was pretty sure she could make sure Gail had a good time as well.

That day, today, was for Gail and her medal and Holly made sure she didn't suffer too much at the smiles and congratulations from her friends. Detective Rosati showed up, sans child or husband, to offer her congratulations to Gail and Holly had never seen Andy so mad. Gail promised to explain later. At that point, it was clear Gail's ability to tolerate the masses was wearing thin. Holly waved off many people who wanted to hug Gail, warning them in advance, and finally they made it to the car.

They didn't talk about anything on the way home. Gail tuned in the radio to Disney pop music and sang along, making Holly laugh. She even did a little shimmy in her seat. "You are insane, Gail," laughed Holly.

"I'm a little tipsy," admitted Gail. "But I'm happy. I love you and I'm happy."

In the last few months, Gail had taken to dropping the 'I love you' phrase more often. In public even. It still made Holly's body heat up and she shuddered. There was a thrill to hearing that from Gail. "Gail," she sighed, looking fondly at her girlfriend's reflection in the windshield, "Don't ever change."

Gail looked surprised. "I will. Change, I mean. It's inevitable." Reaching over, Gail rested a hand on Holly's thigh. "Am I changing in bad ways?"

"What? No! I love the way you, um, grow. I don't think I'm saying this right at all. Don't stop being you, Gail. I love you as sarcastic, and snarky, and ... and bitchy. I like your attitude." She took a hand off the steering wheel and covered Gail's hand with her own. "I like you very much, Gail."

"So you're not mad I told Chloe her roots were showing?"

"When did you say that?" Holly bubbled with laughter. "Also so are yours!"

"I'll have you know, this is my natural hair color," sassed Gail. "She started it, calling me a tucha and caminhoneira. Then I told her Dov was a broxa... It went downhill. She knows more dirty words than I do."

Holly rolled her eyes. "You like Chloe."

"I don't _hate_ her." Gail sighed. "She's very good at being Chloe. I envy that." Holly just grinned. "Oh fine. I like her. She's not fake, she's actually really nice and awkward and god, she drives me up the wall with her perky optimism."

Good enough. "What was the sack thing she called you?"

"Huh? Você é um saco... She said I sucked." Gail shrugged. "We weren't being serious, you know. I mean... No one else speaks Portuguese in Fifteen."

"You two really are sides of the same coin," laughed Holly.

She laughed even more at Gail's absolutely horrified and offended expression.

* * *

She was supposed to be quiet and still and listen which wasn't a set of skills Gail really had a talent for. The listening sure, she was good. The sitting still and being quiet not too much. That was the worse part of her job. Gail rarely sat still at Parade let alone for a whole day. But she listened while fidgeting and reading, which Frank said was close enough.

When she heard them ask for Nemov, twice, she started paying closer attention.

"He's still on paternity leave, sir," explained one of the detectives.

"Damn it, doesn't _anyone_ around here speak Russian besides Nemov?"

As Gail stood up, Frank hissed at her. "Not the time, Peck!"

But she ignored him. "Inspector Butler," she said directly.

"Not now, Peck," snapped her boss. "What about that guy in 27? He knows a little." The group started to argue about how much Russian needed to be understood, and was it Russian or a dialect.

Right. So she said a bit loudly, in Russian, that she spoke Russian.

The room fell silent. "What?" Butler put his phone down.

"I said I speak Russian. Nemov taught me."

"Your file says you speak French and Italian." Butler paused and looked thoughtful. "And Spanish and German. Are you holding out on me, Peck?"

"I speak Russian. And Punjabi. Officer Price is teaching me Portuguese." Gail had never bothered to add anything to her file because her mother would see it as a waste of time. Anything that wasn't directly cop related was a waste. Privately Gail didn't agree that multiple languages was a waste of her time, but her mother's opinion of her skills didn't matter much anymore.

Butler pointed at the chair at his desk and pushed over papers. "Can you read it?"

"A little slowly," she admitted and scanned the paper. "They're... They have the women captive." Her stomach turned and Gail read the letter aloud. They, whomever they were, had women. Girls practically, whom they smuggled into the country to be brides. As soon as she read it, Gail knew Butler would ask her to conduct the interviews. The letter was a plea, from someone to her family, to please take her back. Save her.

But they didn't have the brides, or anyone alive yet. They had two dead women, one of whom had the note on her person. The autopsy results, which did not have Holly's name on them, included photos with tattoos that Gail translated for them. She then found herself listening to phone conversations and putting her fluency to the test, translating on the fly. The hard part was when they used a couple colloquialisms she didn't know well.

The more she listened, the more she got used to their tone and dialect and cadence, the easier it got to understand. Once in school she'd played translator for some visiting deaf students, sitting beside them and real-time translating. That was easier than this, but she had been more familiar with ASL at the time. At last, she was able to get practical information. An address. And quickly following that they had a warrant.

"Grab your vest, Peck, you're coming with me," declared Butler, pulling his own on.

Finally! She was pleased to be tossed the keys as well, which would let her boss call in various things on the way. She shot a fast text to Holly, telling her that she was going out with Butler on a case and they'd have to skip lunch, before turning her phone to silent.

Frank was holding her vest up. "You impress the hell out of me daily, Peck."

Gail blinked, "Oh?" She didn't have a reply for that.

"I remember Rookie Peck. Detective Peck is going to be a hella impressive."

Compliments. Weird. Especially from Frank who had been rough on her in the beginning. "Doing my best, Sir," she said without sharing the grin she felt and pulled the vest on carefully. Then she hesitated. "Can I ask a favor?" Frank nodded. "Normally, when I go out, Holly calls Oliver if, um, she hears about stuff and freaks... But he won't know..."

Frank smirked, "I do the same thing about Noelle. Tell you what, unless we're both on site, you do the same?"

"Deal," agreed Gail and she tugged her phone out to tell Holly to ping Frank in case of emergency.

Butler shouted across the room, "Peck! Let's go, you're driving! You know how to get there fast?"

Gail looked at the address again and closed her eyes. "Yes," she said firmly, thinking up three ways to get around traffic. "Sir, it's okay that I'm in uniform?"

"Makes it more officially police to the losers," he grinned and Gail felt her happiest smile cross her face. Her boss called them losers too. Oh this was going to be as fun as working with Oliver.

She half listened to Butler on the phone, talking to the other detectives who would meet them there, and Oliver, who would arrange for backup to be on hand and possibly EMS. Hopefully EMS, Gail though privately. The alternative was a lot of dead women.

When she'd been twelve, her mother made her map out the city by hand, with all the major streets and as many minor as possible. When Gail was twenty, and the advent of Google Maps happened, she tried to argue that her mother's stupid tests were, in fact, ridiculous. Now that she was 28 (two months from 29) and there was GPS in every phone on the planet with real time traffic, she felt the memorization was stupid and brilliant.

They knew where the accidents were and the way the GPS wanted them to be routed, which was fine, but Gail knew shortcuts and cheats. And Butler was impressed. "Here's the deal, Peck," he told her. "I'm going to serve the warrant, you're my backup. Simple. We're going to walk around. You don't let on you know Russian, but if you hear anything or see anything, you tell me."

"Do we use code words?" Gail couldn't help the sarcastic quip as she parked the car. This was not her first time at the rodeo after all.

Butler smirked. "Funny." He adjusted his badge, hanging it around his neck. "The odds of this being the right place on the first go is slim to none, Peck." He got out of the car and looked around. "You're a good luck charm, though."

"Tell my partners that," joked Gail.

"Late bloomer," Butler declared, and motioned for Gail to follow him. She turned on the video camera and checked her gun. Here they go.

The door was answered by someone who barely spoke English, but understood 'police' and 'warrant' enough to let them in. Butler had explained he didn't think they'd absolutely need to have backup, but it was just a good idea. So as he argued with the men, Gail took the time to look around the room and pretend she didn't understand a word they were saying.

Four men, all compact and gruff, glowered. The one talked to Butler, while the other three argued if the cops knew anything. Gail absently picked up a book from the table. Russian smut. Awesome. She tossed it back down, keeping her face schooled to confusion, as if none of it made sense.

Butler continued to talk to the main guy, and one of his minions followed Gail into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" His accent was thick and clipped.

"Looking," she said plainly.

The man turned to the door and told his boss that the skinny blonde was in the kitchen. Could be worse. Gail popped open the fridge and looked at the inside. Beers, crappy takeout. The freezer, predictably, held vodka. Seriously, were they even trying?

The boss growled back that one of them should keep an eye on Gail, he would stay with the man. They argued who had to watch Gail, clearly underestimating her, which was fine. If you can't be strong, be clever. Gail looked around at the dirty sink and the mess. It only looked like the four men, no five, lived here. Keeping that in mind, that there was another man, Gail walked into the dining room. Used for storage. Most of the downstairs rooms seemed to be that way.

She glanced at the door to the basement and sighed. Gail didn't want to go down there but she noticed how the man following her didn't seem to react. Maybe no one was here.

"Peck, check upstairs," called Butler.

"Sir," she replied, and immediately the men started to argue. Nyet, a word everyone knew, was used loudly and Gail froze with one foot on the stairs. Her man, the one following her, grabbed her arm.

Not good. She turned slowly and glared at him. The hand loosened reflexively and Gail shook it off. "Hey, hey," shouted Butler. "Police! We can go upstairs." He waved the paper at them. "We have a warrant."

As two men moved to surround them, Gail listened carefully. They were talking about taking targets. "Sir," she said slowly, and reached to her shoulder, thumbing her radio on. "10-35." He'd been right, they didn't need a code. They had a code. They had hundreds of codes. They were the goddamned police.

She let go of the radio, stopping transmissions. Butler's eyes met hers, widening slightly, and they both put their hands on their belts as casually as humanly possible.

"Gentlemen," Butler said carefully. "What could possibly be upstairs?"

The men argued in Russian. The women were upstairs. Gail glanced up and took a step. All the men moved, their boss shouting. "No, not upstairs." Then he called a man's name.

Gail looked at Butler. His hand wrapped around the butt of his gun as did hers. "Okay, let's calm down. Peck, come on." They needed backup, clearly. Gail nodded and took a step back down the stairs.

There was a sound behind her. The name made sense. Oh shit. "There are five," she said loudly, drawing her gun and pivoting to look up. There was number five. The sound of a footstep and the sound of a larger caliber shotgun than she wanted to see.

Praying it was buckshot and not a 12-gauge, Gail's gun was up and centered. "Put the gun down," she said loudly, repeating it in Russian. Secrecy be damned. The man froze and told her to put the gun down instead. Gail repeated she was police and he should put the gun down.

Of all the things she'd done in her life, in her career, shooting someone was not an aspect of police work she'd ever wanted to do nor had she yet done. Most officers went their entire careers without ever firing at a person. Nick, the aberration amongst her friends, had killed before when he was in Afghanistan, but that was something else entirely. He hadn't wanted to talk about it much.

But right now she wasn't terribly concerned with what it would be like to shoot a man. The memory in Gail's head was the day she got her driver's license. That was the day her father had her drive them to the range and let her use the larger guns for the first (official) time. And that was the day her father demonstrated what happened to a bulletproof vest when you had a shotgun. More than a decade had passed since then and yet Gail knew the Level II vest she wore wasn't enough to stop that damn gun pointed at her.

As clearly and calmly as she could possibly be, she repeated the words. "Put. The gun. Down."

* * *

_A normal LEO vest will not stop a 12-gauge shot. Even if you were supremely lucky, you'd have pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and months of recovery. Would I do that to you? To Gail? To Holly?_

_Maybe. But not in this fic. Neither Holly nor Gail dies. I don__'__t consider that a spoiler. There are lots of horrible things besides death, after all. Other people will die.  
_

_The names Chloe and Gail called each other are nowhere near polite at all. Don__'__t use them._


	36. Im-Peck-able

**Chapter 3****6: Im-Peck-able**

_Author's Note: The case will not be followed along. There's another one Gail will get into, but not as depressing as human trafficking. It's now September and October. Gail has a birthday coming up soon._

* * *

When Gail's number and face lit up her screen, Holly beamed. Her doofy girlfriend had put an exceptionally silly face on Holly's phone for her contact information. "Hey, sexy. How was the streets?"

"Exciting. You still at work?"

"Just finishing up. You?" The phone beeped, disconnecting, and Holly looked at it curiously. "The hell?"

"Hey." That was Gail in person, smiling, already in her street clothes.

"Hey, fancy meeting you here," grinned Holly. "Exciting day? More robberies and under thefts?"

Gail perched on the edge of the desk. "Something like that," she allowed. "International human trafficking and selling. Wives from Russia and Ukraine." She picked up Holly's phone and tabbed through it, taking a new selfie.

"Well, that's new and different. And you're not staying late?"

"Eh, they make you go home when they think you're stressed." Holly narrowed her eyes, and Gail folded amazingly fast. "The bad guys had guns, no one shot anything. I talked them out of it." She waved a hand.

Holly sighed and closed her eyes. "Please tell me you wore your vest."

Indignant, Gail scoffed. "Of course."

The whole story waited until they were at the Penny, where Gail's friends demanded to hear everything. From Gail, the story was simple. She'd shouted at the guys, in Russian, to stand down, told them that more police were coming and they should put their guns down. From Butler, who came to introduce himself to Holly and have a drink, it was more impressive and dangerous. Gail had done that with a man pointing a 12-gauge shotgun at her. Even Holly knew the odds of a 12-gauge versus a vest.

Butler was nice, Holly had to admit. While Gail was arguing about drinks with someone, he sat down by Holly. "Dr. Stewart," he smiled, holding out a hand.

"Inspector Butler."

"You can call me David," he suggested.

"Holly," she grinned. "Gail calls you Butler."

David Butler laughed, "She's only called me 'Sir' since she got upstairs. Never expected that out of her. Everyone said she was more ..."

"Reckless?"

"Direct."

Holly smothered a smirk, "She really wanted this job."

Butler smiled, lifting his beer. "I wanted her." This was, Holly decided, a strange conversation. "Ah, this is weird, right? I like to know who my people are tied to, that's all. How long have you two been together?"

"Since spring." She toyed with the bottle before her. "She moved in just four months ago."

"Busy four months. Two rookies and a gang. She's impressive."

Holly grinned and felt the blush on her face, "Gerald— _Duncan_ only needed polishing up." The name slip was not lost on Butler who laughed. "I'm impressed, but I'm biased."

"Good," declared Butler. He clapped Holly's shoulder. "That's what I wanted to know." He finished the beer in one go. "Good to meet you, Holly." He nodded and went to say a goodbye to Gail before leaving.

A confused Gail sat back done with Holly. "What'd he want?"

"I think he wanted to make sure I loved you." Gail smiled and leaned in to kiss her fondly. "I do, you know. Even if you do crazy things."

Any further depth of conversation was put on hold as Dov came to join them at their table. "What I don't get," remarked Dov, "is the part where you know Russian."

"Toma," replied Gail, eyeing Dov suspiciously. "Remember the kid we found?"

Dov blinked, "Gail, that was a couple years ago!"

"Yeah. So? I didn't start learning it until Nick went under cover."

Holly coughed and took Gail's hand. "Honey, I think he means that was really fast to get that good."

"Oh," muttered Gail, and she sipped her beer.

The conversation wound around a few times, before Chloe sat in Dov's lap. "Are you coming camping?"

And Holly flinched. She hadn't forgotten, not exactly, she'd just not mentioned it yet. Things had been busy. "Camping? It's almost October, don't you guys do that in spring or summer?" Gail leaned against Holly, looking amused.

Dov was surprised, "With everything else, we put it off. But we were thinking, hey, let's have one more." He fidgeted a bit.

"They never invite me," Gail pointed out.

"Oh but you were going to come last time!" Chloe looked honestly shocked.

"I was dating Nick. Andy invited him, you got stuck with me." Gail's hand slipped onto Holly's thigh, squeezing it gently. "I've never been camping."

Holly tilted her head, "But you said your family had a cabin."

"Yeah and a car," laughed Gail. "You want to go, don't you, Holly." It wasn't a question, and Holly gnawed her lip. "Oh, don't do that," sighed Gail, leaning in and kissing her. She seemed just not to care about public displays of affection at the moment and Holly didn't object.

"Camping on a long weekend," Holly murmured against Gail's lips. "It'll be fun." Gail whinged a little but capitulated and went to get the next round.

"That is amazing," sighed Dov. "I will never get over how you just wrap her around your fingers."

Holly startled and caught Chloe's eyes. They both started laughing horribly inappropriately, and kept laughing even when Dov tried to retract the statement.

* * *

It was not surprising that Holly had camping equipment. Since Gail did not, Holly dragged her and Steve shopping for the right clothes and shoes and backpacks. By unspoken agreement, Gail and Steve did not speak of what they _did_ know about the outdoors. Tents, sleeping bags, and supplies. Those were new.

The children were not coming which Gail was pleased about. Sometimes a big kids only trip was needed, even if it was going to be in the woods. Leo was staying over with Frank and Noelle, the latter of whom had promised to put up a tent in the backyard. Sophie, mildly put out, told Gail not to be eaten by a moose. Gail assured her that moose didn't eat people while Holly explained that moose was the plural of moose.

Finally the day arrived and they drove out to the middle of ass-nowhere. Gail and Holly had Chris in their car, Holly having decided he was the least objectionable of Gail's exes. Andy, flying solo with Swarek working a case in Niagara, was in Traci's car with Steve. Her brother texted her repeatedly, telling Gail how annoying Andy was. They definitely came out ahead since Chris just wanted to sleep.

They were the first to pull in to the parking lot and Gail sighed. "I hate it already," she told Holly, leaving Chris asleep on the backseat.

"No you don't, you big baby." Holly grinned and slid her arms around Gail's waist, under the puffy vest.

"I'm wearing fleece and I have a backpack," Gail whinged and pulled Holly up against her. "It's not too late. There's a B&B down the road. We could totally skip out and spend the weekend in bed."

Holly laughed and kissed her. It was so hard to think when she did that and Gail leaned back against the car, keeping her close. "Never made out under the stars, Officer Peck?" teased Holly, mercilessly.

With a sigh, Gail put one hand on the back of Holly's hair and the other on her ass. "I was thinking a little more than making out," she whispered. "Four days and I really wanted to do more than get hot and bothered."

"Maybe you'll have to learn to be quiet," teased Holly, but she moulded herself against Gail quite contentedly.

The honking of Nick's truck snapped them out of it. Both he and Traci pulled up, one after the other. "Ew, get a room, sister," called Steve, leaning out the window.

"Bite me, brother." She sighed and let Holly go to get their bags out of the trunk. "I hate all of you," Gail grumbled and saw Chris was still asleep. Ruthlessly, she opened the door. "Chris! Wake up!" Chris yelped and Gail smiled, feeling slightly better.

"Stop being mean," advised Holly, handing her a backpack.

"Never," grinned Gail, and she pulled it on. "You like me mean." Steve came over to shove Gail's shoulder and they scuffled for a moment, shoving each other.

Holly rolled her eyes, "Why do two call each other that?"

Pointing at himself and then Gail, Steve tilted his head. "Call each other what? Captains of the Universe?"

"That too, but you always call each other brother and sister."

"We _are_ related," Gail smirked. She started messing with the straps on her pack and checked that everything on the waist band was where she wanted it. The waist strap was cinched over her hips, the weight lifting off her shoulders.

"I mean you _always_ use the whole word."

Traci snapped her fingers, "She's right! Never big bro or little sis. What's up with that?"

Looking at each other, the Peck siblings hesitated. Steve shrugged and signed that he didn't want to get into it. Gail huffed and snapped the chest bit into place. Fine, leave it on her. "Just because mere mortals can't fathom the depth that is our awesomeness doesn't mean we'll explain it."

As one, Holly and Traci muttered, "Pecks."

The subject was dropped, however, and everyone suited up to hike. You couldn't hold hands while hiking, so Gail settled for trudging near Holly and listening to her girlfriend natter on with Chris about the foliage.

It surprised Gail, how many times everyone wanted to stop for water and pee breaks, and she signed as much to her brother. He shrugged and said he didn't know, which finally made Dov ask about the sign language. This time Steve pointed out it wasn't _his _ fault they weren't as cool as he was.

"Forget it, Dov," grumbled Nick. "They'll never tell anyone."

As everyone else pulled their packs on (Gail had been firmly instructed by Holly to never take it off unless you had to, it was too hard to get them back on), Holly grabbed Gail's shoulder straps and tugged her close for a moment. "Hey. I know..." She wiggled one hand.

"You do," agreed Gail, kissing Holly lightly. "Gonna tell on me?"

Holly shook her head and smiled, "Fine, keep your secrets from your friends. Just stop signing faster than I can read."

Gail grinned. "Read faster next time," she suggested and got swatted in the arm.

The group tromped over the next hill, which was when Andy started whinging it was taking forever. "But look at the weather," sang Chloe and Gail winced. "It's sunshiny, it's not too cold, there are beautiful people!" Chloe threw her arms out and spun around, like a Disney Princess. Unlike a princess, Chloe slipped and fell on her ass.

Everyone laughed, which made Gail feel better that she found it hilarious. Dov helped her up, "Andy has a point. How far to the campground?"

"Another four miles," Nick said, looking at the map.

Gail leaned over his arm, "Six."

"What? No, it's four. See, we're here," Nick pointed at the paper. "And we're going here..."

"Yeah, and this trail follows switchbacks." She reached over and pointed. "Steve, c'mere." Her brother complied and leaned over Nick's other arm. "That's faster, right?"

Steve nodded, "Or this way." He traced his finger around another path that went more uphill.

"Not even," snapped Gail. "I'm not going over that." She patted Nick's arm, watching him try to math out the switchbacks. "Come on, Nicholas, shortcut." And Steve and Gail started down the fastest route.

She heard an argument but ignored it when Holly caught up with her. "Nick doesn't believe you two." Holly sounded like she was about to have the giggles. "He thinks you two don't know how to read topographical maps."

Looking past Gail, Steve grinned, "You believe us, though."

"I am familiar with the mysteries that the Peck name carries along," laughed Holly.

Apparently so was Traci, who was the next to catch up, Andy trotting behind her. While Nick complained the whole time, Gail's shortcut had them at the campsite in just under three hours, and finally the backpacks came off.

"That was fun, right?" Dov grinned in his stupid way. "That was fun. I've never hiked in before!"

Gail rubbed her hips, sore and a little chafed. "What? You losers don't hike in every year?" She glared at them.

Sitting down, pulling her boots off, Andy scowled. "No, we usually drive to this other place. I think I have blisters. Holly, are these blisters?"

"I'm not _that_ kind of doctor," Holly pointed out, but she put her pack next to Gail's and leaned over to eyeball Andy's feet. "Nope, just sore. Go stick them in the stream."

While people with sore feet addressed that, Gail took the tent out of her pack and stared at it. Hiking in weird places, reading maps, those she knew. The tent was something new and she frowned at it. "You're a Peck," she muttered and pulled out the directions, studying them.

"When did you learn to read a map?"

"Years ago, Nicholas," she sighed. Pulling out the poles, Gail scowled. What the actual hell?

Nick squatted by her and untangled the poles. "Can't erect a tent, though," he teased.

Sometimes, Nick really pissed her off. Gail turned to him with a snarl, when Holly cracked a joke. "Here I thought the best part about being a lesbian was no more erection problems." She wedged in between Nick and Gail. "Nick, why don't you help Steve and Traci."

After a moment Nick took the hint and left. "He knows how to push my buttons," grumbled Gail, holding the bits Holly held out for her.

"I seem to scare him off still." Holly smiled that goofy side smile and Gail felt herself relax. "Come on, I'll teach you how to pitch a tent."

"And we're back to penis jokes," smirked Gail, getting another swat from Holly but also a laugh.

It didn't take too long to get everyone set up, with Nick and Chris sharing a tent, Andy on her own, and the couples sorted out. Privately, Gail wondered if Nick would tip toe over to Andy's tent, but decided it wasn't her business, and sat by the fire pit, pulling off her own shoes to feel the breeze.

Closing her eyes to relax in the sunlight, Gail was startled to hear her brother complain, "How long does it take to start a fire, Chris? I'm hungry."

"The wood's too wet," explained Chris, sounding defensive.

"That's what you said last time," Dov interjected. "When we were at Oliver's cabin. I don't think you actually know anything."

The boys squabbled and Gail cracked an eye to watch her brother carefully building the means for a fire. He ignored them and took out a knife to create wood shavings. "That's new," she remarked to her brother.

"Traci gave it to me."

"As a warning?" Gail grinned and sat up, watching her brother idly. "Going okay?"

Steve smiled at the blade. "I think so." He glanced at Gail and then at his pile of shavings. "Okay, been a while..."

"I won't tell if you use a match. Not like I talk to them at all." Gail wedged her feet back in her boots and drew her knees up to be hugged.

"Have you ever...? I mean since...?"

"God, no. Why would I?" She rested her chin on her knees and was not terribly surprised when Holly sat down on a log behind her, wrapping her arms around Gail and resting her own chin on Gail's shoulder.

"I didn't know you could make a fire, Steve," Holly remarked, not so much in a tone of surprise as one of interest.

Crap, he was going to tell. "Didn't Gail tell you? Fifteenth birthday, Pecks get dropped off in the woods at sunset, find your way home. Nice counterpart to the store, I thought. That was only a day hike."

Holly startled and murmured in Gail's ear, "Really?" Gail nodded a little. "Your parents absolutely suck," Holly said, loud enough for Steve to hear.

"Can we not talk about them?" She let Holly's fingers work to twine with hers and they watched Steve actually make a fire by rubbing sticks together.

The show attracted attention and everyone came to watch Steve. Traci cheerfully pointed out that was her man, and Nick eyed Steve and Gail curiously. The incongruity of their woods skills was creeping up on him and Gail expected an awkward conversation later on. But Steve had a nice fire going soon enough and food was brought out to cook and eat.

The boys talked about fishing tomorrow and Nick explained how he'd made a cooler in the stream. Gail made herself comfortable against a log, keeping beside Holly and sharing a plate. For all it was dirty and grubby out, Gail would have to admit that it was nice. Chloe managed to keep the singing to a minimum and Andy's suggestion of 'I Never' was shot down by _everyone_.

Finally they washed up, as best anyone could in the woods. People drifted off to their tents, promising a sunrise morning, and arguing about who would watch the fire.

"I'll watch it," volunteered Holly. "I'm not tired yet."

Gail sighed and went to their tent, fetching the wool blanket Holly had hauled in, and joined her by the fire. "I hate you," she informed Holly. "You made me come out camping. I'm wearing fleece and I have a backpack."

Smiling, Holly fixed the watch cap on Gail's head. "You play softball too." She kissed Gail lightly. "And you drag me to the opera and ballet and fancy dinners." Smiling, Holly took the blanket. "This is exactly why I brought the blanket."

They wrapped it around themselves, getting cuddly by the fire, Holly claiming her spot as big spoon, the log serving as a backrest. "So what? We just watch the fire till it dies out?"

"Until it's low enough to toss dirt over safely," Holly replied softly. "Didn't you... Never mind."

"You mean when I tromped through the woods to get home?" Gail managed to keep the bitterness out of her voice. Often it felt like her childhood was a story told by others. "My birthday's in November, I walked all night."

The arms around her squeezed and Holly sighed. "You should have said. We didn't have to come."

Gail leaned back against Holly's warmth. "They never invited _me_ before," Gail noted, looking at the other tents. There were giggles from Chloe and Dov's. "We didn't really get along." She caught Holly's hands in her own. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey." Holly fell silent and they sat listening to the crackle of the wood die down. The fire became wisps of flame and Holly nudged Gail to sit next to her instead of in her arms. "Look up," she whispered.

Sighing, Gail looked up and blinked. "Oh." The sky was full of stars. Not the one or two you saw in Toronto, but millions. She'd never looked up at them at the cottage, preferring to sleep in the quiet, and now regretted that. Suddenly she wondered if it would be possible to ever visit that cottage again. "What's the fuzzy bit?"

Holly laughed softly, "That's the edge of the Milky Way." Muttering her surprise, Gail made Holly point out all the constellations she knew and they admired the sky until there were no more noises from tents and the fire was almost coals.

Turning slightly, Gail caressed Holly's face. "This doesn't _totally_ suck," she noted and drew Holly's face closer to kiss. Maybe camping wasn't all bad.

* * *

The food had been chancy at best, which Gail had complained about. They had packed in food to cook, but Chris and Nick swore they could fish and so it meant a long second day watching the boys attempt to catch a fish, growing more wet and cold. Holly offered to help and was rebuffed, so she took Traci upstream with a pole and taught her how to fish. Seven fish later, Gail was in hysterics when they showed up.

Surprising the others, Gail took over the grilling of the fish while Nick and Chris shivered by the fire. The second night ended with most everyone getting drunk, as they decided the idea of drinking the night before they hiked home was foolish. That led to a delightful moment of levity, with Steve, Gail, and Chloe singing a bawdy cop drinking song they'd learned from their families.

It even had a slapping routine and stomping.

Come morning, hangovers led to Gail threatening to break the coffee pot until she'd been caffeinated. Exhausted enough from the night, they all spent a quiet day, walking around and figuring out what else to make of the food leftovers. Holly pointed out all the plants, remembering her mother's lessons and teaching anyone who would listen. Which pretty much meant Chloe and Chris.

Chris managed to make a nice meal of the odds and ends they still had, and as the darkness swallowed up the night they all sat around the fire, chatting.

"I can't believe you're not a detective, Gail," sighed Andy.

Seated behind Holly, Gail sighed but did not reply. "She can't until the Superintendent retires," Traci pointed out. "That's such a stupid thing. I can't believe her."

Of course Traci knew but the others didn't. Chloe looked confused. "What does your mom have to do with anything? I thought she wanted you to be a detective, Gail."

"On her terms," Gail replied. "She wanted me to do homicide, or guns and gangs." There was a nervous tension in Gail's arms and Holly wanted to kiss her to make it better.

"So what's that have to do with her retiring?" Dov looked absolutely perplexed.

So Holly explained, "Her mother tried to refuse her transfer to Major Crimes." The others clamored their disbelief, but Gail just whispered a thank you. "Should I tell them the rest?" Holly kept her voice low, but she caught Andy looking at her suspiciously.

"Mother also killed a job offer Holly had in the States," Gail added.

"Don't forget she got your adoption thing rejected." Steve, ever helpful, lifted his cocoa. "Three cheers to mom."

Stone, stunned, silence followed.

"Thanks, Steven," grumbled Gail.

"Sophie?" asked Chloe, who knew the girl through Frank.

"I can believe it," Chris decided, at length.

"So can I," agreed Nick. "No offense, Gail, but your mother is evil."

Steve snorted. "You don't know the half of it."

Feeling Gail tense up, Holly frowned, "That's enough, Steve."

It looked like Steve was about to say more when Traci wrapped a hand around Steve's arm. "It's more than enough," agreed Traci. "It sucks you have to wait a year before they'll think about you being detective."

Dov coughed. "Remember when I said I wish I was a Peck?" Behind her, Gail nodded. "Yeah, I take that back. I didn't even think about how that could go bad with them, just us." Silent, Chloe all but curled up in Dov's arms.

"Well... That was a mood killer," decided Andy. "I'm sorry."

The group fell silent again until Gail asked, "Didn't any of you dorks bring s'mores?"

The calm was back and indeed Chloe had brought the fixings of s'mores for the group. Holly let Gail make her one, giggling as Gail explained the perfect toasting method. Things were light and fun again, which Holly enjoyed more than the annoying personal discussions.

A year. She'd known Gail just over a year, been dating for eight months, even if you counted breaking up. It was a whirlwind year that Holly would not give up for anything at all. Gail was a wild storm of incongruence. Aloof and caring, mean and tender, distant and comforting. And while she claimed to be scared to death of hitching herself with anyone, Gail had wound herself into Holly's life, with a few false starts.

In many ways they were the same. Holly was terrified about life with someone else. She knew she wanted to be with Gail and that it felt empty when they'd been apart, but the whole idea of this being a long term commitment was novel. Even with her other serious girlfriends, even with the only other relationship she'd thought was love, Holly hadn't lived with her. Gail made her different. Better and braver, certainly, but unafraid most of all. She could do anything with Gail beside her.

When Gail returned from making her third or fourth s'more, she flopped onto the blanket with Holly. "You're thinking too hard. What's in that brain?"

"You, and how hopped up on sugar you're going to be tonight. How many of those have you had?"

Gail snorted and kissed Holly, tasting of marshmallow and chocolate. "Four and this is my last one, I promise." With that, Gail shoved the whole mess into her mouth and grinned.

"That's gross," laughed Holly, shoving Gail away as she attempted to press a gooey, crumby, kiss on her. All joking stopped when a loud noise rang out. Holly frowned, not recognizing it, but cognizant that everyone else around her did. "What-"

Covering Holly's mouth with a hand, Gail held a finger up to her own lips. Oh. Kay. There was another sound, a bang, with a reverberating echo. "Shit," muttered Chris, getting to his feet.

"Rifle," whispered Nick.

"Hunter?" That was Chloe, her voice impossibly serious.

Holly swallowed. Gail took her hand away and signed for Holly to stay put, before scrambling to their tent. What the hell? A third shot went off. Someone was shooting at them? Around them?

"Traci, stay here," instructed Steve, handing her a small object. There was the sound of guns being checked and Holly realized Steve and Gail were in dark shirts, each with a watch cap pulled over their pale hair.

Nodding, Traci buckled her gun on. "Who the hell brings a gun camping," hissed Dov, sounding like he wished he had thought of it.

"Shut up," growled Gail. "Traci..."

"I know." Traci came to stand by Holly. "Watch his back."

And just like that, the Peck siblings vanished into the woods.

Holly exhaled and muttered, "Why can't I have a normal date?"

* * *

_Peck habits die hard. Camping where you can see the stars and the edge of the galaxy with your naked eye is a beautiful thing. It's my favorite thing about dragging my ass up into the mountains. It's certainly not that absolute need to shower when you're done. Ew.  
_


	37. A Pack of Pecks

**Chapter 3****7: A Pack of Pecks**

_Author's Note: Gail pretty much is always armed when she's out, unless she's going drinking. Wonder how Holly feels about that__…_

_Updates are 'so fast' because I didn't start posting until chapter 39 was written... which was the original end to the story. Now it's written through 80, which is also an end. There's a possibility I may finish up 20 more chapters to get it to a totally final, this is **IT** the end moment, where I kill everyone- I'M KIDDING! About the death._

* * *

"Peck!"

Oliver was loud and excited to see her, even at six in the morning, bounding around uniforms to clap Gail on the arms. He clearly wanted to hug her but, as they were both in uniform (and Gail held coffee and donuts), held himself up short. There was stifled laughter from someone by the desks.

"Hi, Ollie," she rolled her eyes at him as if this display of affection was embarrassing.

He smirked. "To what do I owe the consummate pleasure of your petulance this day?"

Gail arched an eyebrow, "Clearly you need to check your email. Butler needs me to borrow a uni for a ride along."

"Can't convince any of those hoity detective to dress down for a day?" Oliver let go and gestured for Gail to follow him to his office. "You're lucky I haven't sorted out assignments yet."

"Luck had nothing to do with it and you know it." Gail dropped onto Oliver's spare chair and separated the food while he sorted through his email.

Oliver made a couple noises and then asked, "You have your very own case?"

Not exactly. "Frank asked me to look at all the robberies near the university. It's his case, I'm just his feet." She slid over his coffee (non fat triple chai latte) and donut (Hawaiian).

"I love you," he beamed at her. "You love me."

"I'm bribing you for anyone but Chloe or Nick," refuted Gail.

"Done." He room a bite and groaned. "So good. So amazing. Such sugar!"

Gail snorted, "Do you need some private time?"

Swallowing his bite, Oliver grinned. "Tell me about camping."

God, had everyone heard? "Nick can't read a map, Chris can't make a fire, neither of them can catch fish, and Chloe actually may be cool but if you tell her I said that, I'll tell Celery you eat lamb when she's not looking."

Oliver frowned, "Don't be mean to me, you love me." She smirked and took a bite of her own Boston Creme donut. "Don't lie to me, Gail. You could have cheaped out and gotten timbits, but you, you sprung for fancy donuts that your girl won't let you have at home." He waggled a bit of his donut at her. "Traci told me how you and Steve caught the drunk guy."

"He was shooting at stray animals, Oliver." Running into the woods, at night, going up against a guy with a rifle was probably not one of the smartest ideas ever, but Gail and Steve reacted before they really thought about what they were doing. Peck training kicked in at the weirdest times. They'd found the drunk idiot shooting at random things, mostly strays, bemoaning his breakup. Just the act of shouting that they were the police caused him to drop the gun.

The rangers had been delighted to find the guy, and happily took him off their hands. They even came back with breakfast and a ride back to their cars, which after being up all night the group had readily accepted, piling into the back of the two trucks. Holly accused Gail of orchestrating the entire mess just to get a ride back so they wouldn't be exhausted when they got home.

With the exception of that last bit, Gail did tell Oliver the story.

He was amused and chastised Gail for running off. "Look, I know I'm not your parents, but... In light of them being actual, you know, parents, Uncle Ollie is going to make you remember that your girl will come crying to him, me, if you do stupid things. Don't freak her out."

Gail rolled her eyes, but accepted the dressing down from Oliver, probably better than she might have if her parents tried it. "Okay," she replied, simply.

"Okay. Good. Come sit in parade, it'll be fun. You know you miss it."

"It's hasn't even been two months," she whinged, but let him usher her in.

"It's an early birthday present."

As she took a seat at the back of the room, she told Oliver loudly, "My birthday is in 11 days, Oliver! I demand a real present!"

That caught the attention of her friends, who cheerfully said hello and asked how things were on the top floor until Oliver called them to attention. Gail half listened to the patrol orders of the day, filing away various orders, until Oliver called out a word she hadn't heard in a while. "Peckstein, you good with that?"

She shot Oliver a thumbs up and tossed her coffee cup. Working with Dov would be relatively easy. "You can drive, Dov," she informed him. Oliver took a moment to tell Dov that Gail was in charge, and effectively outranked him.

"I'm helping Major Crimes?" Dov bounced like the puppy he was. He seemed like he could care less about Gail being in charge.

"You're _driving_ Major Crimes." Gail stretched her arms up and yawned.

Dov didn't argue and pulled his vest and camera on. "How come you never wear short sleeves?"

"At work?" She blinked, surprised he'd even noticed. "Sunburns. I'd rather be overheated than crispy." Gail pulled her phone out to text Frank that she was working with Dov, and then sent the same message to Holly, with an 'I love you' added on. "Take me to UToronto, minion," she instructed.

The drive was mostly quiet. Dov eager to drive but not bothering Gail, who was reading from her iPad. "So ... Um. What are we looking for?"

"Just drive around, patrolling, Dov," she muttered. Gail tabbed through the reports again. "Three blocks around the university, try to stick near the frats." She turned off the device and tucked it into the side of the door. "Swarming."

"You're covering swarming? In a cruiser?"

Gail smiled softly. "I'm scoping the lay of the land in a cruiser." She looked out the window at the students. "Did you go to university, Dov?" There was no answer and Gail turned to look at him, confused.

To her surprise, Dov was eying her. "You've never asked me a thing about my life."

"Sorry," she muttered and looked back out the window.

After a block he replied, "No. I did some junior college stuff, but not much." More silence. "You?"

"Four years," she told him. Traci knew, they'd talked about it for those horrible six months without Nick or Andy. And Traci had told Holly, which was fine. It wasn't a secret after all.

"Finish?"

"Yep. Criminal Justice." She frowned at the crowd of kids. "I don't remember looking that young," she told Dov.

Laconically, Dov noted, "You probably didn't. I bet you looked all snooty and mean."

"Shut up," she told him, without any real rancor to her snap. That was why she liked riding with Dov and had missed it. They got along on so many levels.

"College degree. So ... Wait how old are you?"

"Almost 29."

"No wonder you're pushing for detective."

Gail snorted. "Age is the least of my worries, Dov. I just ... I really like the job, okay?" She glanced at the time on the cruiser and looked at a group of kids. "Do I look older or younger with my hair short?"

A long pause proceeded Dov's cautious reply. "Is that a trick question?"

"No, it's not a does-the-dress-make-my-ass-look-big question," she laughed. "Park over there. I want to watch the lawn."

Dov obliged. "You looked younger with the, uh, pixie cut. Before it grew out. But you look softer with this." He shrugged, as if expecting a verbal blow.

But Gail just nodded, thinking she'd have to go somewhere in between if she was right. "Thanks."

"See, now you're freaking me out. Everything okay with you and Holly?"

Rolling her eyes, Gail watched the classes come and go. "Yep, and please don't think about her anymore. It's disturbing. And creepy."

"Right." He turned to watch what she watched. "It's just... You touch her a lot."

"What?" Gail turned, surprised. "Dov, I live with her."

Dov looked worried as he backpedaled, "It's just that I saw you with Chris and Nick, and you've never been … touchy-feely before. You're almost like Chloe—"

"No I am not," snapped Gail. "Just stop." She turned back to the lawn and watched how the groups of students tended to congregate.

But he didn't stop. "You touch her a _lot_. Way more than you did Nick or Chris and what I'm _trying_ to say is … I think you like her. A lot."

Sometimes his little itty bitty hamster on a wheel wasn't stupid. "I'm in love with her, Dov. That's kinda why I'm living with her." Gail frowned. "These losers are stupid. Don't any of them have an inkling of public safety?" She gestured with a hand. "Headphones, books, I think that guy's watching a movie."

Dov coughed. "Well they're kids, Gail."

"They're idiots, Dov." Gail popped the door open.

"Where are we going?" Dov scrambled behind her, locking the car and following as she walked up to one of the student billboards.

She ignored him, skimming over the various announcements. Clubs, groups, parties, a declaration of love (did people _really_ still do that?), lost items, wanted items, selling items. She paused. Selling? Pulling out her phone, Gail ignored the texts and snapped photos of the lost items. Maybe they were the stolen items. They were already checking Craigslist and ebay, but Gail wondered if the school had some sort of covert, underground, way to sell things.

The IT nerds would know. And she had Dov to translate. She smiled and pulled up the map on her phone.

"I know that smile," Dov interjected, warily. "That smile is dangerous. That smile is right before you make me dive in a dumpster."

"Nah, we're just going slumming with the web geeks. You'll like this one."

And she wasn't wrong.

* * *

It was payback, clearly, for softball, but Holly sighed and went over everything Gail had told her. Point it down range and away from people. Load it carefully. Check it again. Stand in a triangle position. Raise her arms, sight down the top. Aim. And _gently_ squeeze the trigger.

The recoil jerked her arms up again and Holly winced. She glanced back and saw Gail just watching her, silently. Right, keep shooting. Holly took a deep breath and concentrated. Breath. Shoot.

One clip later, she put the gun down on the shelf and stepped back. The shooting rounds all died off and the light changed, a buzzer rang loudly. Ear protectors off, Gail pressed the button to pull in the target.

"So?" Holly chewed her lip.

"I've seen worse," Gail deadpanned and hung a new target after checking the time. "One more."

Holly groaned and rubbed her wrists. "I hate you."

"How's she doing?" Dov appeared from one side, looking interested. When Gail held up the target, he winced. "It's your first time! You'll get better."

They all sucked. Gail had told her that Dov once scored the highest for their rookie class on the range, though that was about it for his high scores. When asked, Traci told her that Gail had the highest average overall. No one beat her on the competition shoots. "I didn't throw the gun at it," muttered Holly and Gail shot her a look.

"It's my birthday," Gail pointed out. "You said anything, I don't want a party. Shoot."

"Fine, but you shoot after me."

"Fine, but I'm not shooting silly designs," she smirked and stepped back.

Ugh. How the hell noodle arm Gail managed to shoot regularly was beyond her, but Holly put her ear protection back on and her shooting glasses. Then she checked her gun. The buzzer sounded, holy crap that was loud, and Holly loaded the pistol.

She knew she was angry. It was Gail's birthday and, after multiple promises to not throw a party, Holly had simply asked what Gail wanted to do. Hearing she wanted to teach Holly how to shoot and then go out to a non-fancy dinner was not what Holly expected. But Gail did not want to make a fuss about her birthday at all. This was something Holly was going to have to ask Steve about, clearly, and he might clam up. While Gail's brother was pretty forthcoming with Gail's secrets, some things were Peck problems and not to be discussed.

The gun was comfortable for some reason. Gail had picked it from her own collection, saying it would do for a first timer, and Holly had hated the feel earlier. But now it felt right in her hand, the right weight and pressure. She wrapped her fingers around the butt properly, both hands supporting the weight, and fired.

Damn it, her girlfriend was annoying. Didn't Gail know that birthdays were for fancy clothes and sex? A party for your friends who probably needed a party anyway. God knows they'd drink over anything. A celebration of another year around the sun. Not for doing something totally mundane that Gail did at least every week anyway. Frustrated, Holly poured her annoyance into the gun and fired until the clip was empty. Checking it, she put it down and turned to look at Gail.

Who was smirking.

_Nice job._ Gail's hands moved in slowly so Holly could read them. Narrowing her eyes, Holly waited for the buzzer and pulled off the ear protectors. "Good shooting, Annie Oakley." Gail wrapped one arm around Holly's waist and reached past her to reel in the target.

Compared to Dov's it was terrible. Compared to her first try, it was amazing. "Hey..." Holly blinked and stared at it.

"Were you thinking about anything I taught you, or just bitching that I made you do this?"

"I plead the fifth," muttered Holly and stepped out of the booth. "Can I be done?"

She bumped right into Oliver, "Ooooh, lookit!" He grabbed the target and held it up. "Dr. Stewart's dangerous!"

Holly blinked and looked at a crowd who hadn't been there before. Everyone from Fifteen, including Steve. "What the hell?"

Standing on a chair, Dov spoke loudly. "Okay, she hasn't warmed up. You know the rules. One round to warm up, then it's for real." He grinned. "As last year's winner, I am running the show. Everyone who's in, tip the hat."

A hat was shoved into Holly's hands and twenty dollar bills were dropped in. Gail, ignoring all of that, picked up Holly's gun and packed it away. Then she pulled out her own case, just smiling.

"What are we shooting?" That was Andy.

Dov held up two fingers. "22s, so Steve and Traci, you'll need to borrow."

"Hardly," scoffed Steve. He and Traci took up booths, unpacking their own. Quickly the entire line was sorted.

Then Dov vanished for a moment, leaving Holly holding the money and feeling entirely confused. Gail left her gun on the counter and sauntered over. "Did every one pay?"

"I have no idea... What's going on?"

Gail reached in and counted the money. "Hey, someone stiffed. Steven?"

"I put in a fifty," he replied.

"Sorry, I was getting change." Oliver popped back over, Celery following him with her own ear protection. "You ready to lose, Gail?"

And Gail sassed at her former sergeant. "In the history of ever, when have you made the top four?" Taking the $20 from his hand, Gail dropped it in the hat and then smiled at Holly, "Kiss me for luck?"

"Only if you tell me what's going on," Holly complained.

"Annual Gail Birthday Competition Shoot Challenge." Gail took the hat and put it on the chair. "When we were rookies, I didn't tell them it was my birthday, I just challenged them at the range. Best score won the pot. Couple years later, _Nicholas_ let on it was my birthday. Now it's a thing."

Holly huh'd and looped her arms around Gail's neck. "You hustled them?"

"Maybe." They smiled at each other and Holly leaned in to kiss Gail very suggestively. Someone wolf whistled.

"Next time just tell me," Holly whispered. "Go shoot in my honor, or whatever."

With a broad grin, the toothy one that was Gail at her happiest, the cop bounced back to her cubicle. Dov returned momentarily, collecting the money. "Buzzer coming." Everyone put their ear protection on, even Celery who sat beside Holly.

This was the warm up, Dov had said, and everyone emptied a clip into their paper targets far faster than Holly had. She'd watched Gail shoot before, mostly perving on Gail's ass as Gail had mentioned, but also admiring her form. Gail, the non-athlete, had power and grace and skill, and it was damn sexy. There in her boots and skinny jeans and over-sized shirt, Gail looked like anything except the cop she was.

The buzzer sounded again, everyone reloaded and hung fresh targets. "For all the marbles," shouted Dov. There was laughter, another sound of the buzzer, and this time the shots were steady. They still were faster than Holly, getting a whole round done amazingly fast, and the guns were down. Gail was done in the middle of the pack, clearly not rushing. The buzzer went off again and everyone laughed, pulling off their ear protection.

A brief (two beer) stop at the Penny and they went home, Holly giggling. "So you win every year and they fight for second?"

"Nick gives me a run for my money," admitted Gail. "He can beat me at most single long distance shots. So can Dov. And none of us come close to Nick at rifles. But I win at consistency. ... I mean, it's a competition shoot. I've been doing that since before I got my first gun."

"When was that?"

"Eighteen." Gail pulled into the garage. Holly swatted her arm. "Ow! What? Even a Peck can't own a gun as a minor. I used one of my mother's." Smirking, Gail reached over and took the police baseball cap off of Holly's head and kissed her. "I've been shooting a gun at least once a week for seventeen years," she allowed.

That was somewhat disturbing. "I cannot imagine doing anything for seventeen years," Holly decided, watching Gail grab the gun cases.

"Well," sighed Gail. "If you want to go shooting again, I'll help you get a provisional license. You probably should have one anyway, since I keep them in the house."

Holly frowned, "No, I don't want to, if that's okay. Didn't enjoy it."

"I tried." Gail smiled and held the door for Holly. "I still hate playing soccer."

"You liked softball," teased Holly, reaching to trace a finger along Gail's neckline as she passed by.

"I also am a total fan of lesbian sex. Which makes it two points in your favor." Like a puppy, Gail loped behind Holly. "Let me put these away and we can take up something we both like."

As Gail ran up the stairs, Holly shouted, "I was promised dinner, Gail!"

"Skipping to desert!"

* * *

The last time her hair had been that short, and that blonde, it had been a very, very bad day. This time she actually went to a salon with a photo of herself with the pixie cut and directions. Holly had done a great job that drunken night, of course, and Gail loved her for it, but this was time for a professional.

She slipped into the office on Saturday afternoon and took over Frank's desk, pulling up her account and notes on his computer. She had asked for a laptop. The plan was simple but Butler had liked it when she suggested it. Of course, he had intended her to oversee it until she showed him the small problems. Stakeouts were fine, this would be good for the rookies to learn. They needed students. And they needed them out of experienced officers.

And the idea she had was too right and perfect, and Butler liked it and gave her permission to set it up. Step on was to get herself right. Step two was to get a team. Dov could work for the van, but Chris was looking too scruffy lately and wouldn't be good for the street, and she didn't want to stress him overly. Also Gail really wanted a detective in the van, and Chloe for the street, so it was Gerald in the van with one of the detectives on her team. Snowflake could work with Frank and get experience at the station monitoring the feeds.

That left Chloe and Gail.

She knew Chloe was scheduled for Saturday and, after finishing her list for her team, went downstairs to find her working at a desk. So Gail just walked up and sat beside her.

"Gail! Why are you here? Oh! I bet you have a case. Are you allowed cases? You're not a detective, which sucks."

God, the woman was tiring. She didn't babble half as attractively as Holly did. "Actually, I do have a case." Stretching her legs out, Gail scratched her head through the black watch cap. "How old are you?"

"Wow. That's personal."

Gail rolled her eyes, "I could look it up, you ninny."

"25. And you need to buy me a drink."

"Huh, you look younger." Gail rubbed her lower lip. "Ever gone to college?"

Chloe narrowed her gaze. "Did you break up with Holly?"

Everyone had such little faith in her. "No, and I'm not hitting on you. I need someone for backup." She arched a eyebrow at Chloe.

Like her, Chloe was smart. She was driven. Chloe came from cop people and she knew what being a cop meant. Chloe's hippy dippy parents were the only non-cops in her family, even though her mother had graduated the academy. Apparently she'd quit her second day on the job and went into social work. That still gave Chloe an edge, making her like Gail in that they both went for what they wanted, with stumbles on the way, but they knew. The nice part about Chloe, the part Gail actually liked and would never in a million years tell anyone, was that she understood when things weren't said.

"Buy me lunch and tell me," decided Chloe.

They got hot dogs, Chloe's idea, and sat in a park so Gail could explain. They would be casually undercover. Not weeks and months away from home, but just pretending to be college students to draw out the criminals. The robbery victims were women, not super young, but TAs and grad students with enough money to be attractive and enough familiarity with college to be careless. None of the women drank or partied, they just tended to walk in smaller groups. Ones and twos, not gaggles and packs.

The women had all be surrounded, by five or six men, all looking like college students, and relieved of their technology. No money, no assault. Just phones and tablets and laptops. It had taken a while to connect the crimes, since they'd slowed down over the summer, but with November coming to a close, they were more frequent and Gail had narrowed down things even more. She had an idea of the classes and areas. Hell, Gail had even found a couple professors willing to work with them.

All she needed from Chloe was an agreement and a haircut. They had to look younger, after all. Chloe though about it for all of a minute and then smiled. She was in. After all, Chloe didn't want to be a patrol cop forever either. They went over what they could and could not talk about to others, how much people would be involved. Who was backing up Gail at the office (and Chloe demanded to know if Uncle Frank picked her, fearing the same favoritism Gail used to). But this was on the up and up. A chance for the legacies.

When Gail got home, the sun had set and Holly was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen. "You're late. I thought you were going to get your hair done."

Gail pulled the watch cap off and hung up her jacket. "Had some work to do. How much will you hate me if I have to go undercover during the days?"

There was a pause in Holly's scrubbing and she didn't look over. "I don't like it." Holly sounded tense.

That was good to know. "Why not?"

"Because the last time you were undercover?" Holly stopped scrubbing but did not turn around. "It scares the shit out of me, Gail."

With a loud sigh, Gail leaned against the island. "Well. It's not the same. I'm not looking for a serial killer, just some idiot robbers."

After a longer pause, she asked, "Do you come back here at night?" Holly still didn't look at Gail. She resumed scrubbing the stovetop and making it whimper in agony.

"Weekday gig only, nights and weekends at home." It was the most cushy op ever, Gail had to admit.

Holly huffed and straightened up. "I guess I can't be all mad-" She turned around and stared at Gail's head. "Oh, oh. So that happened?"

"It's just hair, right?"

Pressing her lips together, Holly resumed scrubbing, her ponytail bouncing with the ferocity. "Undercover Gail needs _that_ haircut?"

Gail sighed. "It makes me look younger, Holly." There was a grunt from the kitchen.

"Can you tell me what you're doing?"

"I'm not _supposed_ to talk about it," drawled Gail and Holly shot her a look over her shoulder. Right. That never worked. "It's at UToronto. Butler's letting me run with an op about a robbery ring. Too small for gangs."

Holly turned around and leaned on the counter. "You know, every time you tell me about what you actually work on upstairs, Major Crimes works on some really petty and minor stuff."

It was complicated. "I'm gonna be a TA. Languages." She smiled softly and sheepishly.

"Huh." Holly put the scrubber down. Her eyes roamed over Gail's head and then body. "I forgot how you looked like that." Holly's voice was breathy.

Blinking, Gail recognized that look. She had long suspected Holly gave her this haircut in the first place because she found it sexy. And if that also cleverly distracted Holly from any fears about Gail being undercover, so much the better. "Is that a hint I should keep my hair short?"

With a blush, Holly turned to wash her hands off. "Well if _you_ like it short, that's okay."

Gail laughed and shook her head. "We're not doing it this way, Holly. You're totally getting hot and bothered over my haircut." And Holly kept her back to Gail, drying her hands. So Gail walked around the kitchen island and put her hands on Holly's hips. "You like my short hair."

As Gail pressed her lips to Holly's shoulder, a shudder ran through Holly's body. "How dangerous is the op?"

Gail did not stop kissing Holly's neck and shoulder. "They might rob me," she admitted. "The tech nerds are trying to find an underground tech sales ring." It was totally safe, in so far as any op was safe.

Sensing that, perhaps, Holly leaned back, pressing into Gail's body. "I really like you with short hair," exhaled Holly, turning her head and giving Gail a little more access. "You won't vanish for six months like Nick, right?"

"Hey," Gail growled. "This house is a Nicholas free zone." She hooked her thumbs through Holly's belt loops and tugged her closer. "This neck is a Gail-only zone." She brushed her cheek against Holly's neck and got another full body shiver out of it.

Holly sighed and turned around, loosening Gail's hold on her. "My stomach is a food free zone, honey." She cupped Gail's face in her hands and kissed her. "As beautiful as you are with that haircut, I'm starving."

That was something Gail could understand. She half glanced at the stove top. "What were you making before the stove needed a bath?"

"Ugh! Why am I dating a detective?" Holly kissed her again and wormed out of Gail's hands. "Tell me you have a dinner idea."

"I had a _desert_ idea," drawled Gail, but as she was never one to skip a meal, addressed herself to that pressing need, before allowing them to attend other pressing needs.


End file.
